Thursday, May 05, 2005

The Decision to Have a Baby

By Mylea

Parents have to learn to be accepting of their children at any cost. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Some couples before having children may have led a very comfortable life style; they had the business, the cars, well traveled and a nice home. Usually the couple had mutually decided not to have children and something or one of them changes their mind. When you make the decision to have children, it should also be a 100% mutually agreed upon decision.

Before conception, the couple should get themselves mentally prepared for parenthood. They should actually interact with young children as much as possible, especially babies. I hope that you will have a close friend or family member that you could maybe provide some overnight care for on a regular basis. The reason for this is to prepare you for the big change that is about to take place in your life. You want to have a realistic view of parenthood, it is not all fun and cutsy at all times. Babies can be a challenge, from the crying and screaming colicky baby to the baby that scratch excessively to the point of bleeding.

An example of this is a couple fitting the description above, had the perfect little life and decided to have baby. The couple was two nice looking individuals so of course you expect the obvious, a beautiful baby. What happens when the baby is not so attractive, as a parent, you love that baby as if he/she is the most attractive baby in the world. Also, what if that same baby had skin problems like eczema and did not have that baby soft skin that other babies had. Well this baby did not and on top of that, in trying to create the perfect baby no one was allowed to see or touch the baby for fear they would pass on germs to him/her. They managed to alienate themselves from most of their family and friends by doing this and became the talk of their circle of friends. Even the care of grandparents weren't good enough for their child. Needless to say, a lot of feeling was hurt behind this type of behavior. When they finally started bringing this child out in public, anytime someone would approach them to see the baby the father would turn the baby around to his body so he/she did not get breathe on. The baby now has grown into a toddler and the same problems he/she had as a baby has escalated. As you might guess this couple is not dealing well with this and is puzzled as to why they have a child that does not behave as other children do. Their child scratches their skin to the point of bleeding just because he/she is told not too. Their child does not try to talk or mimic words as other kids his/her age does. Their child anytime he/she is not getting their way will break out in hives and rub their face until it looks like a severe reaction to something. They take him/her to doctor after doctor and am unable to find the problem, as I was talking with one of them one day their comment was, "I just want them to find out what is wrong with him/her and fix it."

We all want what is best for our children but we have a responsibility to love and accept that child for who he/she personally is. Having a child is not about comparisons, if you happen to have a child that is a little different from others, don't treat him/her as if they are broken. We do not live in a perfect world and there are no perfection children. When I hear parents such as the ones in the example develop the woe is me mentality it really makes me sad for the child. There are always going to be someone that is worst off and making the best of their situation. So consider all of these things before you make the decision to have children. Our children are an inheritance with no guarantees.

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