Many stay-at-home moms face a tough dilemma. They want to stay with their children and enjoy it, but it can be boring to do so. These moms find that they miss adult conversation and need something to do to entertain their minds. Still, guilt sometimes takes over, and Mom does not want to admit these feelings of guilt to anyone. How can she deal?
Find adults to hang out with. Most cities and even smaller towns have mothers' groups. These groups are pretty informal in most places. The moms go to the same park on the same mornings, or they have coffees out. You not only will meet other moms; you will meet people who understand what is going on in your life.
You also need to find something to do that has nothing to do with your husband or children. If you do not have anything to do outside your family, then it will be easier to develop feelings of resentment. It is not that you need something that will take up hours upon hours of your time. Maybe you play tennis with some old buddies once a week. Maybe you join a monthly book club so you get to have fun without everyone else.
Make sure that you reserve time for you and your husband that does not have anything to do with the baby. Most marriages suffer in the months - and even years - after baby is born. Much of that stress comes from not having any couple time that does not involve baby. Have a midnight picnic in your living room. Hire a babysitter for an hour and take a walk together. Stay up late and cuddle. Enjoy your time together. It will help you relax, and it will make you feel that you are still a part of your husband's life.
Find a hobby. While you may spend much of your time with baby figuring out his needs, as well as continuing with normal domestic tasks, there will be some downtime. You will want something to fill the gaps. Try to find a portable hobby if you can. Something like cross-stitching, as old-fashioned as it sounds, can be fun if you let it.
You also can take up something that you would not normally consider a "hobby," like crossword puzzles. Have something that you can do on your own. That way you have something for family car rides or days in the park that can entertain your mind. If you are really concerned about your mental sharpness, and plenty of stay at home moms are, then take a course at a local community college. You can take a course that meets on Saturday or one night a week. You can even try an online course if you are interested.
Keeping yourself busy and interested in your own life is important if you are going to stay at home. You need to keep yourself on top of your proverbial game so that you can offer the best of you to your baby.
by Julia Mercer