BabyLoving.com

I see the signs everywhere just like you do. There is Kindermusik. Then there are swimming classes, ballet classes, and language classes. You can get overcome with the number of classes out there for your baby.

We have made the decision not to attend these classes. We will send our son to swimming lessons when he is a little older, and we may offer him dance classes. My husband cannot wait until mini-soccer comes calling. I am tired just thinking about it.

In the meantime, we have decided to educate our son on our own. We have some advantages. I played several instruments for 12 years, and although I no longer play professionally, I can still strike up a tune that will interest my son. We purchased castanets, triangles, and other toys for him so that he can learn to make music. We play classical tunes in the mornings and silly children's songs in the car. Our son will learn more about music through our little informal lessons that in a course with other little tykes.

We also are teaching our son Spanish. Language skills are invaluable, and children who are bilingual before the age of five have a higher IQ. It is important to us to give him these skills. I speak French, and my husband speaks a little Spanish. We decided that Spanish was more practical, and we are learning the language and all about the customs to teach Jayden. He does not need a class; he has his everyday life where we will celebrate Spanish holidays and learning uno, dos, tres, along with one, two three.

Other parts of life, too, we can teach Jayden through informal (or even some formal) learning at home. Our baby does not need a structured environment for every moment of his day. While story time at the library will be fun when he is old enough to go, we will not need extra reading classes or craft classes.

We have decided in this time when parenting is about over-scheduling even your baby that we will stand up for Jayden's babyhood. We will let him learn for himself by pulling pots out of the cabinets and banging on them. We will let him learn for himself by playing with leaves in the park. We will let him learn by himself by sitting with a crayon and coloring book without someone hovering over him and holding his hand.

In short, we will let him be a baby. While we do believe in fostering Jayden's intelligence, we also believe that being a baby is about exploring and forming an identity, not about running to classes. I hope that in the next few years, parents will see that they can sit back and enjoy their babies. These little ones need to be permitted to find themselves and experience their inner creativity on their own. That does not mean that we should eschew all lessons, but perhaps we should wait until the baby gets old enough to express an interest.

By Brandi Rhoades

Sometimes, we get into the habit of working ourselves to the bone, especially when we have a baby in the house. That habit can become a problem, though, when you cannot calm down. You will want to experience your baby's time in this precious little state, so learn to relax using these techniques.

Cut back on your commitments. You need to value your time with your baby, so cut back civic, church, and other commitments when the little one is tiny. You need to make sure that you have enough time to spend with your baby. Be wary of classes for babies, too. One may be okay, but signing up a little guy for five or six events a week will over-stimulate him and keep you exhausted.

Next, stop multitasking so much! Sometimes, multitasking is necessary. If you can talk on the phone and balance the checkbook at the same time, go for it. If you are trying to juggle three or four activities constantly, however, you need to stop. The end result is that you cannot focus enough on any one task, and they all suffer. Plus you can get overwhelmed with the jobs you have to do because you will feel as if you are always running.

Planning ahead should become part of your life when you have a baby. They require a lot of pre-planning. A trip to the mall means that you will need to pack a diaper bag with wipes, diapers, a change of clothes, bibs, and other items. You need to learn to pre-plan if you want to get off on the right foot with your baby. Learn to get the diaper bag together the night before along with your clothes. If you will have a babysitter, be sure to gather everything for him or her before the time to leave arrives.

Take the time to enjoy playing. You and your baby can play together all day if you would like. When you first start playing with your baby, you may find that your mind wonders. You may be thinking of all of the things you could be doing - laundry, dishes, finishing that report - but eventually you will learn to let yourself go. While it may seem counterproductive to sit down and play when you are trying to get everything done, the down time can help you to recharge for the rest of your day.

Finally, take a deep breath. Sometimes we get so accustomed to rushing all the time that we cannot find the time to sit back and enjoy the world. We speed to get everywhere. We run around the house getting chores done, even when we don't have to. If you stop and take a deep breath before you start an activity, it will help you prepare your mind for a slower pace. Learning to calm down will help you enjoy the time you spend with your baby. In addition, it will help you to de-stress so that everyone enjoys you, too.

By Julia Mercer

First things first, your company absolutely cannot fire you because you are pregnant or because you had a baby. If you return from maternity leave to find that your office has been giving away and your things stored in a nice cardboard box, you have been wronged.

It is likely, though, that employment discrimination will take more subtle forms, and that is what moms of most little ones report. Everyone suddenly assumes that Mom is less likely to be committed to her work, and she suddenly finds herself with a lot of time on her hands at work. If you think that you are being discriminated against because of baby, there are some options at your disposal.

First, you should have been required to complete Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) or short-term disability forms when you gave birth. Pay attention to them. Read through them carefully if you suspect a problem because you need to know exactly what your rights are. Write down the provisions you think your employers is not upholding so that you can be sure to have the information handy when you ask about it.

Next, you should keep strict documentation. It may be a moot point now, but you really need to know when you told them your were pregnant and their reaction. Now, though, you should keep in mind that if you decide to pursue this issue, you need to know when everything happened. Keep the date, time, and events that you find important.

Ask your boss about the problems. You need to be realistic, too. If there was a client deadline coming up three weeks after your return, you may have been taken off the project for purely practical reasons - because someone needed to be handling the issue for the six weeks you were not there. If, however, you are having a long-standing customer account moved permanently from your charge, then you need to address this issue.

Give your boss the chance to explain his or her position. Maybe he assumed erroneously that you would not want the client who requires after-hours commitment once you had the baby. You can explain that you fully intend to continue in your duties as normal. You may find that this simple discussion can get things back in line, and everyone will be back on track. Often, managers think they are helping out and do not realize that they are causing a problem with such decisions.

If you cannot resolve the problem, you can file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and ultimately sue your employer. (Remember, though, that your employment record will be on trial here, too.) Another option is simply to leave the company. If you do decide to seek another job, be sure to let your current employer know in your exit interview that you are leaving because you feel baby discrimination. Let someone higher up than your manager know so that someone in the company will (hopefully) deal with the problem. It is a serious issue, and your company should address it for future employees.

By Julia Mercer

When your baby turns one, you will experience a range of emotions. Part of you will be happy for this little baby milestone, but another part of you will be sad that your baby is no longer a baby. Still you will want to remember this day fondly by planning a fun birthday bash.

Do not feel the need to offer an extravagant birthday bash for your little one. Parents who have those parties do it for themselves, not for their babies. Your baby will not care if you have hired 50 clowns at the baby. She will be happy with a much less stated affair.

Still you probably want to invite over the grandparents and a couple of friends. Make sure you let everyone know well in advance when the party will be and at what time. Before you invite anyone over, be sure to know what you are planning for the party. That way, if Grandma offers to help out, you know what to tell her. "You know, if you could make some meatballs, that would be great." She will feel included, and you will not have to worry about the meatballs. It works for everyone.

Decide beforehand what you will do at the party. A one-year-old is too young for games, but that does not mean that you shouldn't have some planned if there will be other children there. Plus your one-year-old will be able to play in some fun games, and you can plan to play them when everyone arrives.

Many families have the tradition of having a birthday cake just for the birthday boy. This little cake is the equivalent of a personal pan pizza. It is small, and baby can just have at it. If you plan to have this tradition, you cannot panic about mess! You probably want to save it until the end of the party because unless you gave birth to someone who had been to etiquette school, your baby will make a mess! He or she will dig into the cake and love it! You should sit back and enjoy - just have the bath stuff ready.

Be sure that you get cameras and other items ready before the party. Check the film and the batteries in the camera as you will not want to miss out on this event. Your baby is growing up, and as sad as that may be to you, later on will be the time to look back on it and laugh.

It is most important to relax during the big day. Many moms and dads (but especially moms) get so worked up over the day's events that they find they do not enjoy it. They are so busy trying to make sure that everyone else has a great time that they forget to have one themselves. Do not be one of those moms. Start preparing now so that when the day comes, you have no stress. Plan ahead so that you can enjoy the moment, too!

By Julia Mercer

Many women give up their own dreams when they have a baby. Instead they decide to put their full attention into giving their baby the best they can. While it is admirable to devote yourself to your baby, you need to work on your own needs, too.

First, you need to set some concrete goals. Take a few minutes to think about what is it that you want. You will want to start with only one goal. You can jot down several issues right now, but you will need to focus. Be realistic. What goal can you accomplish in a week or a month, depending on how motivated you are? Try to select an initial goal that you can meet quickly - and with baby at your side. You may want something that is part of a larger goal. For example, if "getting in shape" is your larger, abstract goal, you may want to start with increasing the amount of fruits you eat and move from there.

The second key to having a goal once you have a baby is to make sure that you can allot a certain amount of time to the goal. You may be able to give up only 10 minutes a day, but you should know now what kind of time you have to devote to your goal. Be sure that you work this time into your schedule. While you should not beat yourself up if you cannot meet your time allotment, you should remember that it is especially important once you have a baby to be sure to take care of yourself. Make the time for your goal a key part of your daily schedule.

One of the things that may happen when you are a mom is that you will have so many things competing for your attention that you can forget easily. In this case, make your goals something that you can achieve without a lot of work. Your first step can be as small as, "I want to get the kitchen organized. I will work on it for 15 minutes everyday until I am done." Or, "I want to finish my novel, I will write at least 500 words daily." Then you have set a goal that is doable in the amount of time you have. Both of those goals can be reached during one of baby's shorter naps.

Goals are important, but the journey should not overtake the end result. If you had your novel as your goal, for example, you should plan to revisit the goal weekly. First, be sure that you are making good progress. You may need to move backward and rework some parts. That is okay because it is part of your goal. You also may find that your goal is simple to achieve, which is great because you will make it but it will not provide any challenge. You may want to increase your goal to 750 or 1,000 words a day. Be sure that your goal is challenging so that it will be important to you.

By Julia Mercer

Now that you have a baby, you understand that saying, "everything but the kitchen sink." That is what you have to bring with you on trips. When you have a big trip with baby coming up, you will need to plan ahead when you are thinking about what to bring with you.

The first rule of packing baby, and yourself, is to limit the number of shoes. While baby shoes are cute, most doctors recommend that you do not put them on babies who cannot walk. Still when you are visiting somewhere for vacation, you may want baby to be dressed completely. Although the shoes are little, they begin to take up a lot of space because of their shape, so you should limit your baby to two pair.

Do not bring what you can buy there. If you are going to a resort area, you may spend a little more, but it will not be a huge difference. Your baby will need the diapers still left in the diaper rack at home. There is no need to lug them all with you when you can bring a few for the trip and stop by a store when you get there. This rule applies to other baby items, such as wipes and baby food jars (which are too breakable to travel anyway).

You can avoid bringing many of baby's bulkier items with you. If you will be renting a car, you can add on a car seat for very little charge. In addition, you can find portable cribs in most hotels, or as a last resort, you can allow baby to sleep with you on the trip. Do not bring all of these items with you. If you are flying, you have to be conservative about what you bring anyway, and there is no need to pack the whole house when you can find many items when you get there.

Also keep in mind that you do not have to bring the baby's entire wardrobe. Okay, you cannot decide what to let him or her wear for the vacation. Bring more than one outfit a day, to be sure, but do no overdo it. You will find it simple to over-pack baby because the clothes are so small. Still, you should limit yourself to pajamas and two outfits per day. Otherwise, you are carrying around a lot of extra weight.

Keep toys to a minimum. You should be doing something fun, and baby will enjoy seeing new sights and hearing new sounds. That means that you should not stuff a carry-on bag with toys galore because baby probably will not have time to play with them. Instead pick a few toys that baby really likes, and preferably are quiet, and put them in the bag. You can use makeshift "toys," such as pen and paper or plastic hotel cups, if you get really desperate. Chances are, though, that you will be able to entertain baby with a walk to the lobby to see all of the people. By planning your baby's packing, everyone will be able to enjoy the trip more.

By Julia Mercer

It is never too early to start your little one working on helping with the chores. Many parents today believe that they should complete all of the housework without involving their children, but that tactic will raise adults who are not capable of looking after themselves. Instead you should start when your child is still a baby to teach that there are ways he or she can help out.

You can help your baby begin to understand chores when she or he is only a few months old. You cannot require any work of the tiny one, of course, but you can talk about your chores as you are doing them. "Daddy is changing the trash can in your diaper pail. Pee-Yew! Dirty diapers are smelly." Your baby eventually will understand you, and you are setting the stage now for explaining rather than just doing.

Seeing you complete your chores will be helpful, too. While it is tempting to wait until baby is asleep to zoom through the living room and pick up, your baby will begin to need to see you in action to understand. The living room does not magically get clean as many toddlers and older children think. You can teach your baby now that you must work on the house.

As soon as baby is old enough to play with her or his toys, you need to start teaching that we must all pick up after ourselves. There is a reason that children's shows are overrun with songs, and that is because they work! Children learn through music. There is a little clean-up diddy that goes, "Clean up. Clean up. Everybody everywhere. Clean up. Clean up. Everybody do your share." You can sing this little tune with baby while you are helping him put toys away. While you are putting all of the toys away at the beginning, by the time your baby reaches one, he or she will be working right along beside you, even if baby only gets one toy to the box by the time you pick up the others.

You also can allow your baby to "help" as soon as he or she can grasp objects. As you are cleaning up from one of baby's meals, hand him the baby food jar. "Hold this for Mommy. It's trash." Then walk over to the trash can and help him toss the jar into the trash.

She can help by sitting with you while you fold laundry, too. While she may unfold a few pieces along the way, it is important for her to feel involved and will help you reinforce the idea that everyone is involved in housework. When parents complain that their three-year-old or seven-year old refuses to help around the house, it is because of parents' poor discipline techniques that allow children to get out of facing any responsibility. By teaching your children early that no one like housework but it must be done - and everyone must help - you are giving them lifelong lessons about the responsibilities of life.

By Julia Mercer

Career women will find that having a baby means that they have something to take on a new role in their lives. Instead of working filling the void between the times they eat, sleep, and have fun, there is someone new competing for that attention. Even for moms who learn to juggle the responsibilities early, it can sometimes seem as if baby's needs are overtaking work time and vice versa. There are some ways to combat this work-baby struggle, though.

Keep lists. Many people eschew lists, thinking that they are for people who cannot remember anything. Here's a hint: moms cannot remember everything. There is so much to do in the first months of baby's life, and much of it is new territory. Just give in and keep a list of what you need to do. While one big list may seem like a good idea, most moms will prefer compartmentalized lists. You can find a way to keep them all in your day planner, or you can get separate little notebooks for each. Still, home, work, and baby all need their own lists so that you can control what needs to happen when.

It also is a good idea to purchase a journal for work and one for home. Here is the key. Use the one at work when you remember that you wanted to make greeting cards of baby's pictures to send to grandma this weekend, jot it down in your journal. You can also jot down something about baby that you wanted to share with your husband but forgot.

Use the journal you keep at home to jot down that you need to re-schedule the meeting with Julie or the perfect phrasing for how to tell Steve that his work performance is not on par with his skills. You will think of the phrase while you are feeding baby; it is inevitable. Put it down before you forget. You can transport these journals back and forth, but if you do so, then you need to get ones that are easily distinguishable. Sometimes, though, just writing it down is enough to jog your memory later.

Never underestimate the ability of coworkers to help you out. Sometimes you are not sure if something is normal that your baby is doing or how to handle not getting enough sleep. Your coworkers can help with these problems because chances are, someone in your office has been there and will be happy to share tips. Use the network you have created on the job to help with your new baby.

If you are at work and cannot get baby off your mind, or keep thinking about what you need to do for baby tonight, then you should take a walk. It will waste less time to take a 5-minute break and go for a quick walk outside than to keep thinking about the baby's needs at work. You will learn eventually how to balance the two, and then you will be the seasoned pro giving advice.

By Julia Mercer

While many moms and dads spend much of their time trying to entertain their little ones, it is important to note that babies do not need too much entertainment. They can get burned out easily when you try to do too much with them because their brains are processing everything you do. Plus they do not have a long attention span, so five minutes is a long time for a baby to try to pay attention.

Watch for signs that your baby is tired of playing or that his or her stimuli are overloaded. Your baby will learn quickly not to make eye contact with you if he does not want to play any longer. He also may seem to zone out, and that means that his little brain needs a rest.

You should work to give your baby the opportunity to be intrigued without you there. When you hear your baby get up in the morning or from a nap, you do not have to rush in to pick him up. Like adults, babies may need a few minutes to gather their thoughts. They may want to watch their mobile swaying. Give them that opportunity because they are learning to enjoy themselves while they are watching such motion.

You do not have to play with your baby always. Of course, you should sit on the floor and stack blocks together. Those activities will help stimulate your baby, but at the same time, they are too much for you to do all the time. You need to allow your child to be independent from you. Many babies want you in the room during certain parts of the day, and you should grant that desire because it often shows a need for a sense of security. Still, your baby can play while you are working. When you are going through the day's mail, you can give baby the junk mail or the envelopes while you are taking care of everything. He or she will enjoy this playtime, and Mommy will get some work done.

Your baby does not need to make noise all the time. Many babies seem to be babblers from the crib, but others enjoy playing quietly. Even if you have a "talker," he probably likes to just sit sometimes. Do not rush in on those occasions. Let him enjoy the time to himself. You should work to provide a quiet atmosphere at least some of the time during the day as well. Babies can get too much stimulation from everything going on around them, and many parents talk to their babies or play music for them incessantly. Give the little one's ears a break and create a calming mood for a few minutes everyday.

Finally, know that sometimes baby will just want to sit with you. She will not need you to do anything but will just want a little rest. She may come over when you are sitting on the couch and then just veg in your lap. Allow this relaxation; it's good for both of you!

By Julia Mercer

Okay, if you looked at me with my husband and son, you would (wrongly) assume that we are your typical suburban family. We look like it - right down to our blonde-haired, blue-eyed Aryan child. My husband is a software programmer, and I work from home, which most people (again, wrongly) assume means that I don't really work.

I'm not that kind of mom, though. We're liberals - very left-wing, not just your average mainstream Democrats. We believe in direct political action; we have been involved in our share of protests, rallying, and lobbying campaigns.

While I know that hippies were not necessarily liberals and I have been reading some of the horrors of being raised on communes, I think of us as sort of nouveau hippie parents. Or at least I hope we are.

One of the downsides to being raised to be the perfect everything is that I did little exploration about my own identity until I was out of college. I bounced around in various disciplines, but I didn't really delve into who I am.

I want life for my son to be different. I want Jayden to enjoy life - to explore whatever strikes him. And I want to share it with him - maybe because I didn't have it as a child. When he picks up a leaf, even now at 9 months old and looks at it (or eats it), I try to see it from his viewpoint. I try to let him explore. Instead of stopping him from getting into the cabinets, which I was never allowed to do, I'd prefer to turn them over and use them as drums with him.

My husband and I are making every effort to provide him with toys that will enhance his exploration and imagination. Instead of hovering over him as people of our generation are apt to do, we allow Jayden to play on his own. We give him the space to try out new toys or to talk to the stars on his crib bumper. We want him to be creative without us interfering in that process.

While we do purchase learning toys, our approach is more relaxed. We will help Jayden with whatever interests him. If he wants to explore chemistry, we will get him a chemistry set. If he wants to try ballet or Congo drumming, we are all for it. My job as his kinda-hippie mom is to make sure that he becomes the man he was born to become.

One of the repeated upsides I have read about having hippie parents is that the lifestyle teaches tolerance and open-mindedness. Here, too, I hope that Jayden takes the lessons. We will expose him to different cultures, religions, and ideas through our friends as well as more thought-out methods - by going to museums, getting books and toys from other cultures, and making a conscious effort to learn about other people.

Being Jayden's hippie mom is fun now but is only going to get better as he gets older. I may not wear a broom skirt or braid my long hair, but I can give him the values that those who do possess.


By Brandi Rhoades

One of the problems with having a baby is that everyone wants to be around! While that may seem like a lot of fun, it can turn into a problem easily because you will find that you cannot accommodate everyone. The holidays are one of these times, and they can be stressful when you are having a baby.

You and your partner need to decide how you want to spend the holidays. Be honest with each other. If one or the other has holiday celebrations that are not very exciting, then say that you would like to spend the holiday with someone else. If you are close enough to everyone, you can work out a schedule to see both families (or all families if there have been any divorces) around the same time. If everyone is spread out, then you may be looking at Thanksgiving with one set of grandparents and Christmas with another.

Be honest with each other. Think about who has other children at the celebration, who has a more baby-friendly celebration, and who gets to see baby often. The holidays are a time to be with family, so if you often spend the time with one set of grandparents, you should make the effort to see the other set at Christmas. For example, in our family, my husband's sister never comes down for Christmas. Her husband has a child from a previous relationship, and they stay close to him for Christmas. We have decided that we will spend Thanksgiving with the in-laws instead since my family has a huge Christmas celebration.

You need to let everyone know your plans in advance. Because Grandma will be making plans in her head even if she has not started planning, you should let her know if you will not be there. This situation definitely can be a case of "easier said than done." The best way is the direct approach. Give Grandma and Grandpa a call or visit. Sit down with them and explain what you are doing for the holidays.

If this family will feel shafted, then you should have your explanation in hand (and the two of you should be together). Just tell them that you are going to divide your time X way and then let them deal with it. You can explain why. "Well, we feel that her parents have a bigger Christmas thing. They're very religious, and we're not, so it's just a holiday to us. We want to share it with her family." Do not be negative or make another family sound better; just explain it the way it is.

Whatever you do, do not allow the grandparents to make you change your mind. Their reasoning may sound logical at the time, but you have to remember that they are biased. They want you to be with them, which feels great, but you and your partner must stick to the plans you have made with each other. Take charge of your family while your baby is still young so that it will be easier as he or she ages.

By Julia Mercer

While you may not feel like working out after baby is born, you should try to get into a good workout. Exercising releases endorphins, which makes you happy. You also will find that you need some time to yourself, to worry about only yourself. Exercising can be the perfect outlet for such a need.

Remember that you should start slowly. You will not feel up to running a marathon two weeks after your baby arrives. Don't worry, especially if you have not really been in shape before. Set doable goals, such as walking for 15 minutes. Then work toward reaching it.

A Mommy's schedule is hectic as it is, and you may think that adding in exercise is impossible. Still, you need to work the exercise into your schedule. Do not think, "I'll do it when I have time." You will never find the time with that attitude. So in between feedings, diaper changes, and rest, schedule just a few minutes to pamper yourself.

Try to work out in a routine. Babies like routine, and quite frankly, they help moms out, too. They can make you feel better because you will know what is happening at what point in your day. The best way to fit in exercise, then, is to make sure that you make it part of your schedule. If you are at home, you can work out every morning at 11. If you work, do it as soon as you get home. Help working out to become an ingrained part of your life.

Work out alone or with baby. Give both a try and see which one works for you. Some women want to clear their heads when they exercise, so they need to get hubby to watch the baby while they work out. Others will feel great taking baby along. If you are one of those moms, you can look into a great jogging stroller so that the two of you can enjoy your time together, and the ride won't be too bouncy for baby. Try out these strollers by letting baby go for a test ride and by checking out other buyers' recommendations. You want something that will be easy for you to steer and will be a comfortable ride for baby.

The most important tip for new moms who are beginning to exercise is to stick to it. You may let exercise slip in the midst of the million other things you have going on in your life. Do not give in to that temptation. Instead you must make it a priority. It may not sound like much, but even if you can give only five minutes a day in the beginning, that is a start. Work your way up slowly until you have reached a more respectable amount. You need about 30 minutes of vigorous exercise five times a week, at minimum. Make that your goal and map out how you plan to get there. Your health is important, and taking care of it should be, too!

By Julia Mercer

With the holidays approaching, you may find that you will need to fly with your baby in tow. Try to make the flight as smooth as possible but know that some glitches are not uncommon.

You should apologize to the people sitting around you in advance. Explain that you know they do not want to fly near a baby, but you will make every effort to make the flight pleasant for all parties. People are more likely to be lenient instead of giving you death stares if you apologize beforehand. That way you are letting everyone know that you are aware of their problems.

Avoid bringing too much stuff with you. Instead you should try to limit what you carry with you. Limit your own items to the necessary documents you need and one book or magazine. If baby naps on the flight, you can stay entertained, but don't think that you will be able to get work done. Limit what baby can bring, too. You will need the necessities, such as diapers and wipes, and you should bring along two or three toys. Make sure they are small and quiet.

Bring snacks for your baby. You should bring something quick and easy - and not messy. You can try Cheerios or other similar cereals or some small crackers. Be sure that you have something to wipe up any mess. You also can try the little nipple-ready juice bottles so that you can avoid feeding your baby milk, which can get much messier, if at all possible.

You also should nip bad behavior in the bud. Do not wait for it to get worse before you deal with it. If your baby is squealing, distract him or gently put your finger over his mouth to let him know that he should stop. Do not permit him to get enraged or have a meltdown on the plane. If baby does something specific to another passenger, such as pull the hair of the woman in front of you, acknowledge it and apologize. Don't try to pretend that it didn't happen.

Try to schedule the flight around baby's naptime. Doing so is difficult, especially if you have connecting flights. It is much simpler when you can work it out, however. Instead of trying to feed and change baby on the flight, you should make every effort to get those issues out of the way before you and baby fly. If you can feed baby right before the flight, then you will be better off.

Also ask your pediatrician about the possibility of motion-sickness medicine before you go. Being on a plane for hours with a sick baby is not something anyone wants to experience, so you should see if there is something you can bring to give her just in case.

Remember that at the end of the day, you don't know the other passengers. They may be uncomfortable for a while, but they will get over it when they get off the plane and so will you.



By Julia Mercer

When you are a work at home parent, you will find that you will need a new set of childproofing techniques. You need to keep baby safe in the office, of course, but your work items need to be kept safe as well. Here are some ways you can childproof your office so that both your baby and your work are safe from harm.

First, put away important papers. No, your baby should not eat your report, but he will. That is just the way of babies, and there is nothing you can do because you cannot reason with a baby. Your best bet is to find a place to keep important work documents. You can use a drawer she cannot reach or an accordion file if you would like. Just make it something that stubby little fingers cannot reach and make it a priority to put your work there every time you get up from your desk.

Second, secure the trashcan. It often seems that babies go for the most disgusting things they can find, and that includes the trash. While your baby may not be tall enough or strong enough to get into the kitchen trash or a diaper pail, your home office probably has a smaller trash bin. You should secure it to the wall or floor or put it in a place the baby cannot reach. The danger here is baby eating something she should not as well as pulling the can on her head before you can grab her. Think about securing any other office items, such as printer tables, that your baby could topple.

Third, keep cords at bay. Babies love cords; there's no doubt about it. They are often bright and are generally interesting to someone exploring the world. Try to keep the danger away from your baby by using the little cord ties you can find in electronic stores. Also keep cords position along the wall so they are not quite so tempting.

Next, you should back up your files. If you have to type with baby at the keyboard, which will be likely when you work at home, your baby will want to reach out and help. While it can be frustrating, it will be devastating if he manages to delete files or cause other problems by hitting hotkeys. Avoid this problem by doing nightly backups and keeping the files away from your desktop on a disk of some sort.

Finally, let baby have a desk. You can improvise as he gets older, but for now, get him a short basket with some papers. You can put in blank paper, or better yet, gather some bright junk mail. Even a six-month-old can have a blast going through it. That way, baby will be "working" when you are, and he won't be working in your materials. As she gets older, you can add a little table, some supplies, and a chair. Then your little one will enjoy going to work with Mommy or Daddy everyday!



By Julia Mercer

Should you let your baby watch television? Will a little Baby Einstein be a problem? There is no bigger debate in the world of parenting today. What exactly do we know?

First, we know very little about the actual impact of television-watching on very small children. The American Academy of Pediatrics warn that children two and under should not be permitted to watch any television, but other research shows that we do not know the real effects of television.

People who support permitting television-watching for small children argue that children can watch educational television. While plopping them down in front of the TV for the day is not a good idea - regardless of the child's age - allowing an occasional stimulating video with classical audio for baby cannot be harmful.

In fact, by the end of the baby days, your little one will be able to learn from television and can begin to pick up on colors and numbers gained from the television. This group of parents argues that the problems with too much television are there because parents permit their children to watch television anytime they want and for as long as they want. Instead, limiting television to a reasonable amount of time, about half an hour for babies, means that children will not see any negative long-term effects.

The other side of this argument is that television is the source of many of the problems in today's society. Indeed, many an overweight child sits and whiles away the hours in front of the boob tube. These kids do not get any exercise. They would rather watch sports than play them. Television, of course, is not the only factor at play here. Poor diet and other lifestyle choices add to childhood obesity.

These parents also argue that the rise in attention problems among this generation of children can be attributed to television. Children are required to pay attention in small spurts. They may have to watch only 10 minutes before commercials come on. The commercials themselves can be a problem as children find that they are being sold items fast and furious by marketers. Many teachers, too, believe that they have to alter their lessons because of the television generation. Teachers claim that they can teach only small five to ten minute lessons because the children cannot pay attention for longer.

The truth about television probably lies somewhere in the middle, and the reality is that while large numbers of parents eschew the idea of television, children are watching it. And they are by and large watching too much of it. While half an hour may be okay for a baby or toddler, hours of television everyday are not acceptable, but many babies spend their early days mesmerized by the television screen. Parents should relax on this issue as it will blow over and a new debate trend will take its place. Instead parents should focus on the important underlying message - encourage your children to pursue their own imagination, not one handed to them through television shows.

By Julia Mercer

When you have a baby, you will begin to see the world in a new way. Everything is new to your baby, and you can feel overwhelmed with the idea of "teaching" all that is the world to your baby. The best approach is to make everyday a learning experience for both of you. That way you can begin to incorporate learning into the baby's life naturally.

You should drive a different route to work or visit a different grocery store occasionally. While you may not think there is much to see in a grocery store, your child is taking in everything - the sights, sounds, and smells. It is your job to make sure that he or she sees as many different places as possible to facilitate learning.

Also try taking hands-on field trips with your baby. While you may not think that your baby will get much out of them, you are improving his or her brain function. The connections you are helping baby make now are helping him or her later as well. Try going to a museum or picking up shells at the beach. Look at leaves when you go to the park instead of just swinging or letting baby relax in a stroller. Experience the world with your baby.

Plants are proven to help with all types of stress-related problems. They also brighten up your house. Consider planting a small indoor garden. Your baby will be able to see food growing and will get a kick out of the bright colors. You can use small containers, such as coffee tins, to grow simple plants, like carrots and radishes.

Make a photo album with your baby watching. Obviously baby cannot help you to make the photo album. That would be a disaster! Still, he or she can sit and play with bright pieces of construction paper while you are sifting through photos. Talk to your baby while you are working on the album. "Oh look, here's a picture of Mommy and Daddy at the beach!" Carry on a conversation with your baby; you are improving brain waves.

Finally, you should just let your baby play. While it is important to provide some structured learning, your baby will learn simply through the play process. While you may not understand it, your baby's babbling at his bumper pad could be an important conversation with the characters on it. Research shows that babies with the most intellectual development experience a good bit of free play without Mom or Dad interrupting to show them how to do everything. Your baby will figure it out on his or her own. Give baby some room; she will learn on her own, too.

Be sure that you do not allow your need for structured learning to overcome baby's need to be a baby. Allowing your little one to explore the world will help with the learning process, and you will be able to see his joy when he has learned something new. So sit back and enjoy the time you have with your little one.

By Julia Mercer

Many a mom and dad regrets the moment that parental leave is over. Moms who have been home for six weeks or longer hate the thought of not being around their little one for eight to ten hours everyday. There are some simple ways you can keep baby on your mind, however.

First, you should fill up your desk, cubicle, or other workspace with pictures of your little one. If you happen not to have a workspace, then you should put a picture in your wallet. Be sure that you can see your little one often, so you can take a pictorial glimpse even if you can't see the little one. Change these pictures out when you need to and make sure they are cute.

There are other items you can purchase such as mouse pads that will have your baby's picture. some hospital photographers offer this service, but if yours does not or you did not think about it then, you can have a screen printing done at any print shop. You can get a mug or a mouse pad with your baby's picture so that you are reminded constantly of the greatest love in your life.

Another way to see baby's face often is to install a screensaver if you are allowed or put a picture of your baby as your desktop background on your computer. You will see that precious smiling face every time you close out a program on your computer. It will help you get through those first, long weeks.

One great idea is to let your baby leave you a voicemail. Before you know it, your baby will be giggling cute little giggles and then babbling away, saying things that you have no hope of understanding. Still you can call your work phone and have baby babble into it. Then when you are feeling overly sentimental, have a listen. Save it to play back to yourself. Just make sure no one's around in case the sentiment overcomes you, and the tears won't stop.

You also can use some of the baby's lotion or bring in some of the baby's wipes with you when you come to work. That way, anytime you lotion or wipe your hands, you will be reminded of a smell that is associated with your baby. You can try this trick with baby powder or other baby-related items as well. Since smell has the closest association with memory, you will think of baby when you use these products.

Finally, you can get jewelry made that will remind you of your baby. You can have mothers' rings or necklaces with the baby's birthstones, or you can try a charm bracelet. Add little charms for special remembrances of the baby, such as a rattle when she or he learns to play with toys. These types of reminders can help you think fondly of the time when you will head out the door and go home to your little one. Until then, though, be sure that you have enough reminders around to keep you sane.

By Julia Mercer

There are many benefits from being a mother that extend outside your role as the matriarch in your family. You can use valuable skills that you master when you have a baby to transfer to workplace issues. Here are a few examples.

First, you can learn to set clear limits. When your baby starts crawling, you will need to set boundaries, even if that means putting up a baby gate. You can apply the same principle to your employees. You are so clear with baby because you understand that he needs it; being as clear with employees by implementing concrete policies (you are allowed one five-minute personal phone call a day) instead of abstract ones (don't use the phone much for personal business).

The second Mommy lesson that you can transfer is learning not to overreact to mistakes. When baby gets excited and slaps a bowl of cereal, spilling milk, you react calmly (or you should). It is not the baby's fault; mistakes happen. Your employees are the same. They make mistakes - forgetting a staff meeting or running late once. You should be as forgiving about human mistakes with your employees as you are with your baby.

If this baby is not your first one, you likely have realized that your children are very different, despite having the same environment. Still, you do not say, "well, Jane, why can't you talk? Brenda had said her first word by now?" Similarly, why would you say to an employee, "David had the system down after one week. Why don't you?" Avoid making idle comparisons of your employees and focus on helping the specific employee who needs you.

Learn to allow your employees some independence. Although it hurts for a mom to see her little one gain independence, especially if that independence comes with a fall or bump, it is a necessary part of parenting. The same concept applies in the workplace. Employees need you to teach them about their jobs, but then they need to practice on their own. You may be reluctant to allow your green agent to host her first open house without you, but you must permit her to grow as an employee even if she makes mistakes.

The final lesson that we learn from motherhood is to stay calm when things go wrong. Murphy's Law is especially harsh when it comes to parenting issues. Anytime you need to get somewhere on time, you will find a sick baby, spilled milk, or a lost shoe. Those problems, in adult form, crop up in the workplace. Everything does not work out perfectly. Keep that fact in mind and be sure that you account for problems. Stay calm. Your employees will appreciate you, and you will be a better manager.

These parts of motherhood are perfect for transferring managerial skills to the workplace. Many stay-at-home moms who decide to go back to work find that they do not think they have gained any skills while they have been at home, but in reality, motherhood is all about valuable skills that you can use at work, too.

By Julia Mercer

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that doctors cannot officially diagnose asthma until the age of two. This decision is mainly because babies' lungs are still developing, and wheezing and coughing may be signs of other medical problems.

Still, many moms and dads will attest that they were certain their children had asthma, even as babies. If you suspect that your baby could have asthma, you can give your house a good cleaning to help with breathing. Even if no one has breathing problems, these measures will help keep the air in your house much cleaner.

The first job you have is to fix any leaks. Any plumbing leaks can add to the moisture in the house, causing an increased likelihood that you will find mold in your home. The first stop to improving the quality of air, then is to fix any problems with leaks that you have. You will want to get rid of moisture of any kind in your home, so be sure that you look for any likely moisture areas, such as in the bathrooms and laundry room. Replace any panels or floor covering that needs it.

If you happen to find mold, you may want to get a mold test done. The black mold that you hear about causing sickness is not too common, and you will get headaches and nausea from exposure. Still, you may want to consider having someone test for it just to be sure. When you are trying to get rid of mold spots on your own, you simply use bleach to do so. Wear a mask so that you are not inhaling the mold or the bleach. Put on latex gloves and spray down the mold and scrub.

Next you will want to discard any porous surfaces that have any type of moisture or mold. These materials cannot be cleaned, even with bleach. Materials such as insulation or sheetrock have holes in them, and you will not be able to get the mold out. You should just have new pieces installed.

Once you have finished the major cleaning associated with getting cleaner air, you can start on the maintenance work. You will need to vacuum and dust on a regular basis. Do not simply wipe off surfaces. You will need to use a dusting cleaner and actually get down and dirty with dusting. Be sure that you do not neglect fans and other high surfaces. You can use feather dusters to reach ceiling fans. You also should take the face off any oscillating or box fans and clean off the blades with a dry cloth.

Finally, be sure that you talk to your pediatrician if you are concerned. While you may not get an asthma diagnosis, you may find that you can use medication, humidifiers, or other devices to help make your home's air better for everyone. Your baby's lungs are still delicate, so any cleaning and dusting you do will make your home a better place for him or her.

By Julia Mercer

If you thought you had problems keeping your car cleaned out before you brought a little one into the world, you will be shocked at how much stuff can accumulate there once you have the little guy or gal in the car with you. The car does not have to be a disaster spot, however. With these simple tips, you can help to keep your car cleaned out.

First, purchase a lint roller to keep in your car if you have cloth seats. You will be surprised at how many crumbs can get into the car, even if you do not eat in it. Your baby will track in dirt and food particles once he or she starts eating solid foods. You can use the lint roller, which you can store in the glove compartment, to get up these crumbs. If you have leather seats, keep a cloth with you to wipe down the seats.

You also should keep a few wipes in the glove compartment along with tissues. Both of these paper products can be invaluable if you encounter a mess and find out that you ran out of wipes and forgot to change out the package. If you have the room, you can even keep a little changing pad kit in your car. You will find these kits in most baby stores. They have a spot for wipes, a couple of diapers, and have a nice pad to put out for baby. You can use these kits in stores or in the car, making them perfect for quick trips when you do not need the whole diaper bag.

If you are one of those people who keep everything tossed in the trunk of the car, stop that practice. You should get a basket or bag to keep essentials, such as oil and jumper cables. You will want to keep these materials in their own container because you do not want them to spill or leave residue on the stroller that will now take up a significant portion of your trunk space.

Another must-have for moms is a trash bag dispenser. This nifty invention comes in a small, typically rectangular plastic unit. Each unit has a dispensing point and holds about 25 little garbage bags. They work well for grown-up messes, such as fast food wrappers, but they are perfect for dirty diapers! You can change baby and toss the diaper without making it obvious to everyone what you are tossing. They also can help you contain the mess on the way when you are traveling.

It is important once you have a baby in the car to bring in everything each time you come home. It is tempting to leave the toy baby dropped under the seat, but you will find that you are tired later. A trip to the car can be a hassle when you are watching baby, so get it now. Get in the habit of keeping your car in order, and it will become second nature.

By Julia Mercer

The first time you leave baby alone without you, it is likely that you will be nervous. That's normal. One option is to leave for only an hour or so the first time. Have coffee. Take a nice walk. Then come back and get your little one. When you do decide to leave, though, you will need to make sure that you leave the babysitter with the appropriate information. Both of you will feel better, and your little one will be safer.

You should include a sheet with the basic information. Include your cell phone number and the number of a relative who will know what to do in case of an emergency. You also should include the name of your pediatrician and the office phone number. Also, and this may sound silly, but write the baby's name down, especially if it has an odd spelling. You also should include the baby's date of birth, which the sitter may need if he or she needs to call the doctor.

For emergencies, you should leave enough information so that the babysitter will not have to guess about anything. Include the name of the hospital you use. Also put any medical problems your baby has, allergies, or other important medical information. Though it is your worst nightmare, you also need to think about the possibility of the babysitter calling 911. Leave your street address and any cross street or other directions to your house. Do not leave it to the babysitter to determine this information in the middle of a crisis situation.

You will want to include emergency information that is not 911. Sometimes there are incidents that don't count as 911 emergencies but may require contacting someone. Put the phone numbers of the police station (including the precinct number if you live in the city) as well as the fire department and poison control numbers. You may want to include health insurance information as well since there can be problems with being seen without proof of insurance.

You should, of course, give the babysitter the basic information about where you are going and when you plan to be home. Include the phone numbers of the restaurant, theater, or other destination for your date. Let him or her know your basic schedule, but do not feel obligated to stick to it exactly, especially if you have a cell phone.

Before you leave, you should make sure that you have the basic childcare goods, including plenty of diapers and wipes, as well as basic medical items, such as pain reliever and ointment. Show the sitter where these items are before you leave. You can leave information about how to treat minor problems, especially if your sitter is a teenager. You basically need to let him or her know how to treat bumps and scrapes as well as when you think it is okay to give your little one pain reliever.

Remember that it is unlikely that your babysitter will need to contact you. Still, these precautions will help you feel better about the whole situation.


By Julia Mercer

Good humanitarian values are something that everyone should learn at an early age. It is your job as parents to make sure your children see the value in being a good member of their communities. You can start when your child is a baby to help make sure that your little one understands the importance of good community work.

When you vote or otherwise participate in politics, make it a point to take your baby. Although your baby is too young to understand voting, you are starting a trend in letting him or her know that you participate in voting for your elected officials.

You also should engage in charity work and take your baby along. If you volunteer for a group that delivers meals to elderly people or you donate monthly to a food pantry, even if the donation is small, your baby will see that giving to others is important. As your baby gets older, you can have him or her help you pick out items to give.

You also should consider allowing him or her to donate change to causes. Babies can appreciate the bell ringing outside stores during the holiday season. Give your little one a bit of change to toss in. The cost is minimal to you, but you are teaching him or her valuable lessons. Some malls also have wishing wells where pennies tossed in help a local charity. These kinds of events are fun and helpful, making them the perfect opportunity to share a message with your baby about helping.

There are places where taking baby can be a delight to the people you are visiting. For example, people in nursing homes or assisted living communities may not be able to see their own grandchildren anymore but will enjoy the sight of your little one playing. Taking your baby along gives all of you a sense of fulfillment.

When you take your child to parades for holidays, he or she will enjoy the sights, even when still a baby. You should explain what is going on. Just make comments and help your baby to have fun. As he or she gets older, the explanations can get more in-depth, and you will be able to teach valuable lessons through these community-wide events.

If you are reading this article and thinking, "I don't do any of those things," then you should. There is no better time than right now to get involved. Don't wait until your child is older because other activities will start to take up your time. Start small with some of the suggestions here. Begin to purchase $5 a month worth of food to donate to a food pantry or school supplies for the Boys and Girls Club. Volunteer to sit with someone at a nursing home for one hour a week. Once you start to help out, you will begin to see other opportunities to help out. Make it a point to get your whole family involved, and you will feel better about your place in your community.


By Julia Mercer

Are you tired of getting the same Christmas cards every year? Are all of your cards generic? Are you beginning to wonder if it is worth it to send boring cards every year? Everyone else is, too. Sending cards is nice, and it lets others know you're thinking of them. This year, though, use your baby to create a card that people will remember. You can make custom cards of your baby if you plan ahead.

First, you will need to begin snapping pictures of your little one during November. Know how many cards you need and snap away. Try to get pictures of your baby doing something cute that has him or her as the focus of the card. Keep your camera with you all the time so that you can get pictures at him swinging at the park or of her riding the carousel at the mall. You should get as many pictures as you can so that you can have a great selection when you start making your cards.

Then you can pick up some pre-made Christmas cards that are customizable. You can find these cards at many mass merchandisers, such as Wal-Mart, or at office supply stores. You have two basic options that you need to consider. If you have a great printer and want to print out digital images, you can get cards that will allow you to print quality photographs on, or you can get tabbed cards so that you can print out copies of the Christmas card.

Once you have your cards, you can print a basic message on all them, or you can decorate them yourself. If you want to do the decorating, then you will need some stickers, markers, and a little creativity. You should put individual messages, such as "I make Grandma's Christmas special." Put messages that your recipients will enjoy. You can add stickers or photo tabs to make the cards more festive. Look online or in craft stores to get ideas for how to decorate your cards and make them all unique.

Then after Thanksgiving, you should begin selecting photos to use. If you have taken a wide variety, you may be able to get good pictures that will speak to the person receiving the card. For example, if Aunt Edna gave Billy a blanket, and you catch an adorable shot of him napping with the blanket, put that picture on Aunt Edna's card. She will love seeing him use her gift, and you will feel great for making her day.

Once you have selected the pictures, you are at the home stretch. Print the photos and then address the cards. Your friends and family members will love these cards because they will be unique. People feel much better when they get a card that is specific to them or that shows you have put thought into it. Plus these cards are much more precious than any generic "happy holidays" card you'll find in the stores. And don't forget to save one as a keepsake for yourself!

By Julia Mercer

Yes, it is fall. Winter seems to be just around the corner in some places. So why are we talking about sandals?

Well, in some areas, people can still wear sandals. Just ask the Floridians. Plus, moms and dads may find themselves tempted to buy clearance rack sandals this time of year. You really should avoid that urge because you need to plan to wear sandals when you are picking them out. Here are the important points to keep in mind when you are picking out your baby's sandals.

First, do not get your baby sandals without a back strap. Their feet really are not formed enough to hold up the sandals. Plus, it is not like you can tell them to flex their little toes. Your best bet is to select a sandal that has a back strap. Otherwise, you will spend all of your time trying picking up the sandals that your little one dropped off his or her feet. In addition, make sure that the straps do not move on the baby's feet. The should be snug but not so tight that they cut off circulation.

Also, you may want to avoid the cutsie stuff that is on so many children's sandals. It is not that those things are "bad," but they often mask pretty shoddy construction of the shoe. Sandals are very important to fit right because your feet could hurt if they do not. For this reason, you should avoid flip-flops for babies or toddlers because they are too flexible for their little feet.

When you are picking out sandals, make sure the soles of the shoe are not too hard. If you pick them up and cannot bend them at all, they are too hard and will not have any give. These types of shoes can increase the chance of stepping wrong and twisting an ankle. The danger is there even for adults, but we have more experience and can catch our footing a little easier.

The sandal should bend near the ball of the foot. Any sandals that bend in the middle of the foot are a problem. You really want sandals that will bend slightly so that they will give when your child steps on a hard surface. Just be sure that they do not give too much, or the sandals could break or cause your child to fall.

You should not allow your child to wear only sandals because their feet should be barefoot or have good shoes much of the time. Sandals really should be viewed as more of a cute little item for your baby instead of daily footwear.

That does not mean that you cannot buy cute little sandals for your baby. Just keep in mind that they are a fun shoe only. Keep in mind when you are buying sandals for babies that they may be learning to walk in these shoes. Just be sure that they will not hinder your child's foot movement in any way.

By Julia Mercer

One of the most exciting parts of motherhood is seeing my son make new discoveries. He is amazed by everyday occurrences, such as my husband shaving. (Well, that is an almost everyday occurrence.) My son will watch with amazement.

We are on our third cabinet-locking device. He figured out the other two after a day or so of intense observation. Now we have just gone to an old-fashioned solution - a bungee cord. He cannot get the cabinets open, but he does think that it is fun to hold the cord while he sways backward.

Still, I am waiting for him to walk. He can do it, but we won't. I think it is a stubborn streak rearing its ugly head early in life. Jayden has been standing for four months now. He stands on his own. He can even bend over and pick up toys. He can crawl so fast you have to run to catch him. He can (unfortunately) climb the stairs.

He refuses to walk. If he needs to get somewhere, he will walk his feet out so that they are as wide as he can make them and them lean to grab whatever he wants.

It is so frustrating because I want this milestone to happen, but I think it is why it hasn't. Maybe we are trying too hard. When he is standing with my husband, I will say, "come here, baby. Come to Mommy." And he hops down and crawls over.

Crawling is faster, and it gets him everywhere he needs to go right now. Why bother walking? What's the point? Since he can scoot everywhere and can even catch the cats by crawling, I'm not sure that he feels any great need to start walking. It wouldn't even be faster at the beginning. Plus there are all of those bumps and bruises to consider from walking.

I read that some babies do not walk until they are 18 months old, and I keep thinking that I hope he is not one of those little tykes. I don't see how he could be because we give him so much room to run (crawl) and play. We don't hover over him, grabbing him every time he falls. We give him space.

I suppose that I just have to accept that he will do it in his own time. Maybe his personality is more like his father's than mine. My husband is never rushed. He is as relaxed as I am high-strung. He never lets anything make him feel pressured, and that includes work. Brian is so smart, but he never had any desire to push the limits of his abilities. He did well in college with no effort, and he is happy at his job. Maybe Jayden is that way, too, and if he is, then I should be able to accept it by now.

What am I saying? That's ridiculous. I'm going to go get him now and practice walking. Walk, baby, walk! Give your mommy peace of mind!


By Brandi Rhoades

This year is my son Jayden's first Halloween. We are so excited! I never really celebrated Halloween much as a child, but we decided to do a little something extra this year. It still is probably less than most people do, but we have had fun.

Last week, we picked out a nice, big pumpkin and carved it. That was an experience! I had never carved a jack-o-lantern before, and it was not what I thought it would be. My husband cut off the top and then I worked on getting out the seeds and string. I thought that you would be able to just pull them out. I didn't realize that you would have to scrape and scrape along the edges of the inside. After what seemed like hours, we finished up the strings and seeds.

Then I drew the face onto the pumpkin with a marker. Since it was my first one, I went with the standard pumpkin face that you see on television. Then Brian and I took turns cutting out the pieces. All the while Jayden was toddling around in his walker. He watched us very seriously. When we cut out the nose, Brian gave it to him to eat. He really chomped down on it!

He seem to really enjoy it, so I may have to try a pumpkin dish or two with him. Once we finished, we went inside and picked out the seeds. I mixed them up with some butter and olive oil and roasted them. Yum! They were delicious. I had not had roasted pumpkin seeds either, so I was not really sure what to expect. I was very surprised. I read that you can sprinkle them in soups and on salads, and I can see why. Next year, if we do more than one carving, I will probably do that.

We put up our Halloween decorations, too. Jayden mostly watched, but he smiled at everything. He was particularly impressed with the string of lights we got with little jack-o-lanterns over the lights. He loved banging them together, and he got really quiet and observant when I plugged them up. Unfortunately, then he fell on them and broke several, so we had to toss them. Still, I have hope for Christmas!

We are going to dress up and have candy out for the trick-or-treaters. We live on a fairly busy road, so I hope we'll have some kids stop by. Jayden is going to be Harry Potter. We bought a little cape that I adjusted to (kind of) fit him. He also has the glasses, scar, wand, and broom. We found a party kit for Harry Potter parties, and it had everything included. Brian is going to be Dumbledore, and I'm McGonagall. We have robes. I'm going to put my hair in a bun and spray it black. Brian got a wig and beard, so we're all ready to take care of Little Harry. We're really excited about our first Halloween with baby, and we hope he has a blast!

By Brandi Rhoades

Now that we know why some parents believe that they should cut off the child-bearing at two or three, we should consider the opposite side. What do moms who have five or more children have to say about their family atmosphere?

The first lesson of a big family is teamwork. While we may cringe at the price of feeding a family of 14, we should consider how much work this family can accomplish in a short time. Cleaning the living room or doing yard work is much easier with that many people helping out. In addition, having a large family will teach the children about teamwork. Because they rarely will do anything alone, these children will have to work together to complete tasks, live in the same bedroom, and otherwise co-exist.

Plus, these families are fun! We should not forget that point. Moms and Dads who decide to have a large number of children often do so because they want to have fun. There is always someone to play with. There is never a shortage of things to do with this many people in the house.

Many a harried Mom and Dad wonder, "how can she make it with eight children?" Well, it forces organization, according to these parents. Neither your finances nor your sanity can afford the stress of disorganization. That means that you are forced to keep yourself together. You will learn to create cubbies for the children's work, prepare the night before, and find a place for everything in your house because you have no other choice. A family with many children would explode from the chaos without some sort of organization in place.

Large families can promote individuality. While that is not true for all large families because some of these parents expect cookie-cutter children, in other families, Mom and Dad do not have time to hover over the children. Instead the kids must figure out who they are and who they want to be on their own. This type of individuality can be very freeing.

Finally, large families teach children responsibility. In many families, children have precious few responsibilities. Instead they depend on the adults to dress them, set the table, and take out the trash. There is no way Mom and Dad can handle all of these tasks when they have a herd of little ones running around. That means that parents have to learn to delegate responsibilities to the other children, and the children must complete their chores for the house to run properly. Not taking out the trash can be a disaster in a huge family! These families, then, can teach children responsibility more so that living in a small family, where not pulling one's weight is not such a tragedy.

Whether you decide to have a huge family or only one child, be sure to experience fully the moments that make up your life. Do not just keep having children to relive babyhood. Enjoy your babies while they are little and then allow them to grow up!

By Julia Mercer

The debate over the size of families is not one that is likely to go away. At one time in our history, families were huge in part because of a lack of birth control and in part because children provided much-needed assistance in agricultural households. Today, though, the debate is more about money and time. Here are the reasons for why families can get too big.

First, many parents, particularly those parents who were part of large families, believe that you cannot give the same amount of attention to your children if there are a large number of them. Their point is factually sound. You cannot spend as much time with each child if you have six as opposed to two. That means that if you do have a large family, it is important to make more of an effort to have alone time with each child. Still, opponents of big families argue that it is impossible.

Their second concern is time in general. It is not just that you will not have enough time for each child, but you will find yourself strapped for time in every area of your life. It will be hard to find time for yourself or as a couple. In addition, you will spend hours driving to and from soccer practice, cooking and cleaning for the brood, and checking homework. There will be precious little time for anything else.

Money is also a worry for many families. Even if the parents make a hefty income, you will have to squeeze every penny if you have many children. Instead of being able to go on a really nice vacation, you will have to camp and bring lunchmeat because you will not be able to afford the cost of putting up six or seven children in a hotel room. Everyday expenses can become a hassle, too. Think of the cost for breakfast for the family in Cheaper by the Dozen! Yipes! Two dozen eggs just for one meal!

While Mom and Dad may be willing to make these sacrifices, it will be important to explain these choices to your children, who may not be as prone to understand your decisions. Children are more likely to see everything their friends have that they cannot afford, making it vital to push the importance of human relationships.

The final concern is over the peace of mind you will have. How much time will you have to get your thoughts together? None! It will be hard to find even five minutes by yourself with a large family. You should know that you can survive the noise and chaos of even an organized home with many children. The advocates of small families believe that inner peace is important but hard to achieve with so many other demands on your time and energy.

Now that we have considered the reasons you can have a family that is too large, let us look at the opposite side. What are the advantages of having many children? We will find out.


By Julia Mercer

Let's face it. No one likes chores. We'd all prefer not to ever have to do chores, but they are a part of life. Instead of avoiding them, you can make them a little more exciting for you and your little ones.

You can add math in when you are doing the chores. While that may seem silly with a baby, you can count the towels you have folded. You can use the dishes to help your child sort. "Plates go here. This is a saucer." You also can have your child help you with separating out clothes or at least can watch you in the process.

Try dancing when you are doing your chores. Most babies love music. While you probably play classical during naptime or to help stimulate baby's brain, you should pick up a couple of fun compact discs when you are out. You and the baby can pop in a CD and groove to it while you are cleaning. Yes, it will take you longer, but it is worth it. Your baby will have some fun from watching Mom or Dad dancing around and will enjoy the music as well. You can add some calorie-burning moves and get a mini-work-out from it, too.

While your baby cannot help pick out groceries, you can begin to teach valuable skills at this stage. When you take your baby to the grocery store, you can show him or her the items you are selecting. Talk while you are making your decision. "Well, we need spaghetti sauce. I really love the garlic-flavored, so we will get that." You also can give your baby a choice if you are getting something that comes in different colors. Hold them up, and chances are baby will go for one of them (probably the brighter one). Put that one in the cart and say, "okay, good choice." Your baby will begin to understand that he or she is part of the family and can make small decisions.

If you have an older baby who is toddling around, you do not have to wait until baby is sleeping to clean. Simply make baby cleaning supplies. Buy a couple of soft clothes, a duster, and a spray bottle filled with water. Explain that big people cleaners can hurt baby, but baby can use these cleaners. Put them in a basket, and your baby can "clean" along with you.

Start a chore chart now! Again, you will have to improvise, but by the age of one, you should have taught your baby that he or she will need to do work to be a full citizen of the house. Put up a small chart with pictures of the toy box. Then explain that baby must help pick up the toys every evening. While you will end up putting away the toys, make baby feel a part of the process. Then allow him or her to put up a sticker when the chore is done. It teaches responsibility, and that is your biggest job as a parent!
By Julia Mercer

Besides the emergency information, there are details you need to share with your sitter. While you should tell him or her the most important of these points in person, you cannot expect someone to remember everything. If you want to make notes, there are some key topics you should include. Just remember not to overload the sitter with information, or it will be hard to make it through it all.

You definitely want to include information about food, especially if you have a baby. You need to let your sitter know specific foods baby can have. Also point out information about what he or she cannot have. Many parents allow their babies to have Cheerios or other cereals, for instance. That does not mean they can have milk, so you need to make that clear. If your baby has any known allergies, you should include that information as well. With babies, it is best to get the foods you expect the baby to eat out before you leave and to ask the sitter to feed baby only food on your list.

Don't forget that the sitter will want to eat, too! If you are doing something such as giving her money to order pizza, make that clear. Otherwise, you should say where snacks or food to cook for dinner is kept. If you want to ask him not to eat certain foods, be sure to put that with your information. (You really should avoid this technique unless it is something you are planning to cook in the next day or so.)

Bedtime is another key issue for sitters. Include information about baby's bedtime and the routine you have. If baby has a certain stuffed animal she loves or if he wants a certain book read, then you need to get that out before the sitter arrives and put it on the information form you leave. Also let the sitter know if there are any special things to do, such as rocking baby or giving a pacifier for bedtime.

If you are specific about television, you need to let the sitter know. Some sitters, typically very young ones, will think that they can watch television indiscriminately because baby cannot understand what is going on. If you don't agree with that idea, then you need to your sitter know. Be specific about what is okay and not and whether baby is permitted to watch television at all. Let the sitter know what other "fun" stuff there is. If your baby has games or songs or other favorite activities, then you need to let the sitter know about them. You want to help them pass the time and have fun.

You also should include information about what the sitter is permitted to do, such as talk on the phone or use your computer. Do not assume that he or she will share your boundaries. Be sure to include information on your limits so that there are no conflicts later on because your sitter was on the Internet, and you don't approve. Giving your sitter the appropriate information will help you to be sure that your baby is in good hands.

By Julia Mercer

By Christina VanGinkel

If you have an infant that is getting ready to make the jump from formula or breast milk, to regular milk, and at the same time you are starting to introduce more solid foods, be sure to keep track of what your child has eaten, especially important if allergies or any food sensitivities seem to run in your family. You should also try to introduce only one new food every few days. The reason behind this being that if your child does show sensitivity to a food, or has an outright allergic reaction, you may not know which food was the culprit, and you would be forced to exclude all the recently tried foods.

The best way to keep track of foods tried is to make a log of when a food was first tried, if they liked it, how much of the food was eaten, and if there was any reaction to it all. Reactions could vary from a mild rash showing up the diaper area, to hives or even trouble breathing, which would of course require immediate attention at a hospital.

Keep in mind that reactions to foods can manifest themselves in unusual ways. My youngest son kept breaking out in hives beneath his arms. I finally realized that anytime he drank quite a bit of juice, especially those with high levels of citrus, he would get this rash. What he was sensitive too was the citrus itself. We limited how much he drank at one time, and he is now able to enjoy the occasional glass of orange juice, though he still avoids juice mixes that have citrus added.

Just switching from formula or breast milk to regular milk can cause its own host of problems, and that is why most pediatricians will recommend that you avoid adding any other new foods to your child's diet for the few weeks surrounding the switch from one to the other. Some infants will have actual milk intolerance, while others will just need a few weeks for their tummies to adjust. If you are also introducing many other things at the same time though, it can be too easy top blame your infant's sudden bouts of gas on any number of things.

If at any time you feel that your child has a true allergy, whether it is to milk products or some other food, consult with your child's doctor, or as I said before, head right to the emergency room or call 911. Food allergies can be a significant danger and should not be treated lightly.

My son was fed two very tiny shrimp, and within a matter of minutes, we were on our way to the emergency room where he spent the remainder of the evening and night hours being treated for severe vomiting and hives. There was no warning to his reaction other than the symptoms sudden onset. With the citrus, he had a more gradual reaction. Each child and each set of symptoms can vary greatly, so be prepared to deal with them if your child happens to be a child that is sensitive or has an allergy. By simply keeping track of what foods you have introduced, and doing so one food at a time, you will be able to quickly let the doctors know what food brought on the allergy and this will help an y treatment they need be that much more successful and effective.

By Christina VanGinkel

My house has always been the sort that children feel comfortable visiting. Toys are in abundance, yet there is room to play with them. Books are easily accessible, and there are not only lots of them, but also someone always prepared to read them to any set of willing ears. So, when my son and his girlfriend asked me to watch her two children for a few hours yesterday, and the children had been by the house on numerous occasions before, I replied that it would not be a problem. So when they left and the older of the two children, who is just over two years old, proceeded to cry for a while, then situate himself across the room from his sister and me and stare at us quietly, I could not fathom why.

It quickly became apparent though. I had decorated our home for Halloween, and his little sister who is thirteen months old was not only highly impressed, she wanted to pick up everything to show her older brother. However, he was not enthusiastic about all the Halloween decorations as she was. In fact, he was quite distressed by everything. Later, after his mother arrived back, she told me that her girlfriend had taken him to Wal-Mart earlier the same day and he had started protesting the minute they arrived in the parking lot. Seems he remembered his trip there a few days previous with his mom and did not want to go towards the Halloween section. While I have seen kids through the years spooked, literally, by a certain object, say a mask or some of the newer electronic decorations that move unexpectedly, I had never seen a child so afraid of it all.

His mother at this point has decided that she will be taking his little sister trick or treating, but not him. She said that the idea of subjecting him to everyone out in masks and all the lights and decorations would be way too much for him. I cannot personally fathom how I would deal with this, other than to try to introduce him bit by bit to things over the next few months. We decorate our home for Christmas with a lot of animation and lights, as do the stores. Where there is now a full size moving and talking skeleton, there will soon be an equally tall singing Santa. How he will react to these items, I wonder. I remember my two oldest children both being quite fearful of the Santa and the life size Easter Bunny at the mall, yet my youngest would walk right up to them and ask them if they had candy and start reciting his list of wants as if they were his long lost buddies.

All of these are just examples of no matter how many children someone has raised, or has had contact with through the years; you can always be surprised by the actions or reactions I should say, of the next child, you encounter. Each child is as different from the one before as you could ever imagine. That is the only thing you can be assured!

By Christina VanGinkel

We have all heard reports that putting your child to bead with a bottle or a sippy cup can be bad for their health in several ways, mainly for the decay the milk or juice can cause when it settles on the teeth over night. Years ago, when my youngest son was a toddler, this was brought to our attention in quite a severe way. He had taken a fall off a small push toy that he thought he could use as a ladder. His older brother was about half a room away from him when he fell, and I was sitting on the couch in the same room. My oldest son saw him before I did as he stood up, and he started to shout to call 911. He saw blood, lots of it, and in his eleven-year-old mind, he figured his little brother needed help. I made a quick assessment and called our family dentist, who told me to bring him right in. At just over a year, his front baby teeth had just come in. They were soon to be out!

In the meantime, not knowing if the teeth would tighten up, but hoping they would, we took him back home. Everything was still in place, just loose. It was suggested that we not feed him anything hard, which would not be that difficult as he was more than content at his young age eating mashed potatoes and bananas. We were told we could give him a bottle, that if it hurt for him to suck, he would stop, and we should then offer him sips from a cup, something he was already familiar with anyway, only taking a bottle at night as it was. That evening, we put him to bed as we often did with the bottle. This evening, as he still had some bleeding going on around the gums, I offered him both a bottle of milk and a bottle of apple juice. He picked the apple juice. All I can say is the following morning we were not prepared for the revelation we were about to be introduced to. If you do not think juice can get into the little nooks and crannies of a child's set of teeth, I had first hand knowledge that it could. His teeth had actually shattered the day before unbeknownst to our dentist and us, and the juice had created a literal maze of all the cracks. When he smiled, it appeared as if he had little road maps painted in brown lines all across his front teeth.

He ended up having to go to an oral surgeon who removed his four front teeth. This resulted in years of speech therapy, followed by his adult teeth's struggle to come through years down the road. It also made me warn every young mother I came across for years, about how that innocuous bottle of milk or juice can do a lot more harm to their child's teeth than they can see. I did get to see, through very unusual circumstances to say the least, and it is not something I would ever want to see again!

Young children often think of the hospital as a scary place-- and indeed, sometimes it can be. But if you are expecting a baby, it is important that you try to ease your older children's fears about your upcoming hospital stay. As you know, most childbirth stays result in no complications and end up being a happy event for all. If you take the steps ahead of time to reassure your children that there is nothing to worry about, it will make your hospital experience better for your entire family. Be sure that they understand that soon after your hospital stay a new baby brother or sister will be joining your family. Here are some other ways to make the experience easier for all of you:

First and foremost, take your children on a tour of the hospital and make a pit stop in the maternity and nursery wing. Your children will get a kick out of seeing all of the newborn babies and they will come to see that the hospital does not have to be a frightening place-- in fact, some happy events actually do occur there!

In addition, there are many good books on the subject of going to the hospital. While some hospital stays can be scary, these are child-friendly books that will help to ease your child's anxiety about your hospital stay and hospitals in general.

If your children are familiar with popular children's characters, they may enjoy these books:

"Paddington Bear Goes to the Hospital" (Bond)
"A Visit to the Sesame Street Hospital" (Hautzig)
"Curious George Goes to the Hospital" (H.A. Rey)

All of these books feature familiar characters that will help your child better relate to the experience of going to the hospital.

Another great book, "Mommy's in the Hospital Having a Baby" by Maxine Rosenberg, features full color photographs of a real hospital stay. You will even get to see the newborn baby being cared or by the hospital nurses-- this book is as close as you can get to the real experience and it is highly recommended if you have preschool-age children.

Other ways to plan ahead for your hospital stay:

Decide who will be caring for your children when you go to the hospital to labor and give birth. Will it be a family friend or a grandparent? Make sure to have a bag packed full of comforting things for your child-- things like a favorite blanket, books and special snacks or treats. Labor and delivery can be unpredictable and you never know how long your child will have to be in someone else's care, so plan accordingly. Pack some favorite DVDs, toys and games to keep your child busy as well.

Take your child to one of you prenatal visits and let him or her share in the experience of hearing the baby's heartbeat.

Bring a picture of your child to keep in your hospital room. That way, when he or she comes to visit you and the new baby, your child will know that he or she is still just as important to you.

By Christina VanGinkel

If I could share only one piece of advice with a new mother, it would be simple. Take the time to be your baby's mother. If you do that, everything else will fall into place. Too often, a new mother is trying hard to be too many things at once, to keep their house spotless, to keep their infant from never fussing, to be a perfect working mother, or a perfect stay at home mother. There are always a million other things to do and be, and realistically, we know that many of these things must still be done, but in the same breath, they do not all have to be done at the same time, and to the perfection that they might once have been done. Housework may suffer on certain days, your hair may not be styled to perfection, meals may not be the elaborate creations you once enjoyed making for your spouse. This is part of being a new mom. From being tired, to suddenly finding boundless energy, from feeling as if you never want to get dressed again as you do not have a single clue as to where you would find the energy to go somewhere once you were dressed, to suddenly climbing the walls ready to get dressed up to go anyplace, even the grocery store.

If you can recognize that your emotions are going to run from hot to cold, from steaming to dry, and learn to coach yourself when your feelings are all so jumbled, that for the time being, not forever, just for the immediate time being, that being your baby's mother and nothing more is ok, you will be much more able to get through, and actually enjoy, this small blip in time that can seem so dramatic to your normal routine.

A friend of mine has a young baby, just a bit past the very early infant stage, and the baby was screaming as loud as she could. This was normal for her, she did it quite often, and I knew it was starting to wear on my friend's nerves. My friend was in her usual panic, as she could not get her to quit. She is the sort who has to have everything in her life in order. Her house is immaculate, her clothing are always looking stylish and pressed, her husband is the type who likes his things around him in order and is not quiet about telling the world around him that he expects it this way. She looked at me and asked me how I could sit there so calmly. Well, the baby was healthy, she was dry, and she had just been fed a bottle and burped. My guess was that she was tired, and I told my friend the more worked up she got, the more worked up her daughter would get. If she could just learn to take the screaming in stride, her daughter would learn from her calmness. If not, she could say a silent thank you that she lived rurally, and invest in a pair of earplugs. I am not condoning letting an obviously ill or uncomfortable baby scream, I am condoning learning what your child means when they do scream, and if that is their way they let off steam, who are we to stress out over a bit of noise? Love your child, be a mom, and know that not everything will be as perfect as it was before baby arrived, it will actually be better, because guess what, you are now among the elite group called Mothers!

By Christina VanGinkel

I am on several message boards online whose focus is parenting, and this morning there was a discussion going on about a young mother who is being charged with child endangerment because she left her infant son home alone for several weeks! She apparently left him in a playpen with a few bottles and off she went to party. She had lost one child to social services a few years past, and is pregnant as this is going on. How the baby was discovered, no one was positive, but it did state that several friends of hers knew she regularly left the child alone at night to go to clubs. Why no one had turned her in for those occurrences was under great discussion.. That he was still alive was a small miracle in itself out of the completely tragic ordeal that he had experienced. The discussion online turned to when would one of us, as a parent or grandparent, step in and call social services on a neighbor or acquaintance.

I had no definitive answer, other than if I saw something that bothered me, I would call or tell someone that I felt would have the authority to deal with it. I have been known to say things directly to mothers or fathers in public, which I never had met before the incident in question, and to talk to parent I knew. This may not be the best approach, but when an infant is in obvious danger, it is hard for me to not open my mouth. I once watched a young mother leave an infant in a car seat in a vehicle, crack the window a tiny bit, and head into a store. I could not in all good conscious let her leave an infant unattended and I spoke up and told her exactly what ran through my imagination when I realized what she was about to do. That a car can heat up quickly, even with a window cracked. That someone wanting an infant would not be deterred by a simple car door that was locked, especially when they had just watched the adult who should have been in charge walk away. What did she do? She actually thanked me and took her infant into the store with her. She replied that the baby had been fussy for days on end and she was finally asleep. She made a rash decision to leave her sleep instead of risk waking her up. She went on to say that, she had never done it before, and would never do it again. I honestly have no way of knowing if this was truthful, though it seemed to be. Another friend later told me I should have called 911 and let the police deal with it. In retrospect, that would have been the best approach. I had no way of knowing if the mother would respond as she did, or become violent for me 'butting in'.

Older children that are in as obvious neglect from the adults in charge leave me just as opened mouthed. When I had to run into the school that my son attends to pick up his homework as he had been out sick for the last two days, I passed a boy who was sitting in the back of the parking lot smoking a cigarette. The boy was in elementary school, and I knew his parents were separated and he was one of several children his mother was trying her best to raise. I called her upon arriving back home that morning and told her exactly where I saw her son, and what he was up to. I knew the mother though, and knew if she found out later that I saw him, and did not tell her, she would have been upset.

Parents make tough decisions all of the time, and as a parent, those decisions do not always directly reflect our own children. What will I do the next time I see a child being neglected or in obvious danger? Speak up to someone in charge. I could do no less and sleep with a good conscious.

If you love to go to theme parks such as Sea World, Disneyland, Universal Studios, and other similar places, then you're probably thinking that you'll have to give up trips to these kinds of parks for at least a few years until baby is older. That's simply not the case, however. With a little bit of planning, and a few small compromises along the way, both parents can still enjoy a trip to their favorite theme park without having to leave baby behind with a sitter for the entire day (or even longer, if you live out of state). Here are some tips to help get the whole family through the whole day.

Know Before You Go
Since most major theme parks have websites these days, it's very easy to do some research before you even leave your house. The more information you find out in advance, the better prepared you will be -- without having to go overboard. For example, you can check to see if the park has nursery stations and/or feeding rooms available. If it does, then that means you won't have to worry about being able to get hot water (for formula) or privacy for changing and breastfeeding.

Another thing that you should find out about the park in advance is whether or not they have a Parent Switch program. Parent Switch programs are designed to allow mom and dad to enjoy specific attractions even when baby is not big enough to ride along. What happens is that the three of you (or however many are in your party) wait in line together as usual. But then, when you get to the front, instead of both parents getting on the ride, only one goes. The other scoots over to a special waiting area with baby. Then, once the ride is over, the parents switch places. The other rides (without having to wait again) and the one who's already finished stays with baby.

Set Limits
I think a key element to enjoying a day at a theme park with baby is setting limits. When you and your spouse used to go to theme parks just as a couple, you probably raced around and tried to cram in as many attractions and shows as possible before calling it a day. You should accept the fact ahead of time that this kind of scenario won't be possible with baby in tow. Pick out the top 3 or 4 attractions that you absolutely must take in, and be prepared to live with those limits. You should also try to go on very mild rides that baby can enjoy with you, such as train or tram rides, leisurely boat rides, slow car rides, etc. Also make sure you take in a couple of shows and set aside time for pictures with the park's main characters, such as Mickey Mouse or Woody Woodpecker. Don't forget to take frequent breaks to just sit in the shade and enjoy some refreshments, too!

There's no need to wait until baby is 4 years old before planning your next trip to your favorite theme park. If you keep these important points in mind, you'll be able to enjoy a day out any time you want!

As you might expect, different countries have different traditions when it comes to newborns and baby's first year of life. While babies are of course treasured the world over, there are distinct differences in terms of what kind of things parents are sure to save from the first year. As you might expect, pictures are fairly common keepsakes in developed nations. But there are also some unusual mementos that parents traditionally save. For example, in the United States, you've surely heard that in the past parents were likely to save and bronze baby's first pair of shoes. Well, in Japan, there are two other items that are kept and treasured as baby mementos: a part of the umbilical cord, and a lock of hair.

Usually, people react with surprise (and maybe a bit of disgust) when I tell them that parents often keep part of the umbilical cord in Japan. But that's really an unfair (even if silent) judgment on another culture. One of the reasons I heard for this tradition is that the umbilical cord, which is the baby's lifeline while it is in the mother's womb, represents what is hoped to be a lifelong, loving bond between parent and offspring.

Actually, the parents don't have to do anything in order to preserve the piece of umbilical cord. It is presented by the hospital a day or so after the birth. A tiny piece of the umbilical cord (which has been dried out by then) is wrapped tightly in wax paper (so you really can't even see it) and then put into a small keepsake wooden box. The box is likely to have a label containing the important stats from the birth, such as the baby's height, weight, name, and time of delivery. Not many people would actually open the box, unwrap the piece of cord, and examine it. Instead, it's just enough to know that it is there.

A second unique baby memento that many Japanese people choose to keep is the first lock of hair. Instead of just snipping the hair off and wrapping it up, the Japanese make something called a fude, which looks like a paintbrush. Fude actually were used quite commonly to compose the kanji characters of the Japanese writing system. The baby keepsake fude, however, is unique in that the bristles are comprised of -- you guessed it -- baby's first lock of hair!

Now it goes without saying that no one actually uses the baby fude in order to write. Instead, the paintbrush is displayed in an ornamental box. The handle of the brush is often engraved with a good luck message of some kind, as well as baby's name and birth date. In addition, depending on the type of display box the parents purchase, you can also keep a picture and baby's embossed handprints and footprints in the same case. Whereas the umbilical cord memento is free, a fude with a display case usually costs several hundred dollars.

Now that you know about two very common baby keepsakes in Japan, you have a couple more memento options for when your first or next baby comes along!

By Christina VanGinkel

A good friend calls and tells you she is expecting her first baby. She has several female relatives, but not even one that lives nearby. You have decided that it would be appropriate for you to throw her a shower for the impending birth, and even go so far as to call her mother to discuss it with her. The one problem is that you are on a strict budget. Do not despair, as it is possible to hold a gathering of this type without it costing you a bundle.

Keep the number of guests equal to what will comfortably fit into you living room or family room. A hall rental is not necessary. Until recent times, all baby showers were held in homes, usually as an afternoon or early evening gathering, and this is an ideal place to host one. If some of the guests that you will be inviting are friends of yours, besides being friends of the mom-to-be, ask them if they would bring a dish to pass. Among my group of friends, this is just a given, that when an occasion such as a baby shower is being held, that everyone pitches in with a dish. If this is not the case with your personal group of friends, be the first to start a new tradition. Just be sure to pitch in down the line when someone asks for the favor in return.

The current trend is also not to play games at showers, but I see nothing wrong with having a few games to get everyone chatting and to just kick back and relax while playing. Look up some old favorites, such as Baby Name Scramble, Cotton Ball Carry, or Remember. For the Baby Name Scramble, just write down a list of fifteen or so items that are relative to babies, such as rattle, diaper, crib, etc., and scramble the letters. Time everyone for one minute, and whoever gets the most unscrambled wins a small gift. Cotton Ball Switch is always good for a laugh, just dump a bag of cotton balls in a bowl, blindfold the player, and give them an empty bowl in one hand and a large wooden spoon in the other. Time them for thirty seconds and see how many cotton balls they can transfer to the empty bowl. For the Remember game, place twenty items on a tray, a safety pin, a spoon, a cotton ball, a playing card, etc, then walk around the room allowing everyone to get a look at the tray. Place the tray in another room and give all the guests a minute to write down what they saw. The most correct wins a prize.

Prizes do not have to be a big cost issue either. I always grab a few things at our local Dollar Store, or check out the dollar value aisle at Wal-Mart. A candle, a picture frame, a hot pad set, evening a pair of decorative gardening gloves, all make good gifts. It is not so much the gift itself as it is the thought. If you are the crafty type, make a few things. One friend I know always gives hand knitted dishcloths, and all of her friends just love them. Your friend will be pleasantly surprised and appreciate this just as much as any large gala affair!

By Christina VanGinkel

Children's books are some of my favorite gifts to give during the holidays, and I have given recommendations on some of my favorites here before, and thought with the holidays just weeks away, I would once again tell you about some of my favorite authors and their titles in stores now. Be sure to read any of the titles that you feel might be a match for the child you have in mind, but also be warned that the list includes a few that you might just want to bring home for yourself! Remember, we are never too old to enjoy a good book, no matter the recommended age level!

Click, Clack, Quackity-Quack: An Alphabetical Adventure, another fun filled romp from Doreen Cronin, author of other past favorites including Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type, Diary of a Worm, Diary of a Spider, Giggle, Giggle, Quack, and Duck for President.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Book and Toy Set, from author Eric Carle, is one of those books that are an enduring classic. I believe every child should own a copy of the book, and if you are giving it as a gift, this collection complete with its very own stuffed caterpillar is perfect. Eric Carle is also the author of several other well known titles including Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?, Very Busy Spider, Polar bear, Polar bear, What do you Hear?, From head to Toe, and The Grouchy Ladybug Board Book.

The 12 Days of Christmas: A Pop-up Celebration, by Robert Sabuda. This pop-up book was a classic from the very first day it was released. While not all of Robert Sabuda's books are pop-ups, those that are, are sure to become both your children's and your own favorites. The artwork in these books are stunning, and if The 12 Days of Christmas leave you wanting to experience more of these clever works along with your child, be sure to check out some of his others. Winter's Tale: An Original Pop-Up Journey, Movable Mother Goose: A Classic Collectible Pop-Up (Mother Goose Pop-up Series), America the Beautiful: A Pop-up Book, and his most stimulating one that I have seen, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz: A Commemorative Pop-up (Oz Series #1).

Absolutely anything by Shel Silverstein, from his new release, Runny Babbit: A Billy Sook (Spelling is correct! Be sure to check it out), to one of his classics, such as Giving Tree, Light in the Attic, to Who Wants a Cheap Rhinoceros.

The Olivia books by Ian Falconer, including Olivia…and the Missing Toy, the original Olivia, Olivia Saves the Circus, Olivia Counts, and Olivia's Opposites. Each of these books focuses on Ian Falconers gregarious little piglet, you guessed it, Olivia. She is sure to become a favorite though, so do not give these to a child unless you want requests for more.

Finally, any of the Mouse books by Lauren Thompson, which include Mouse's First Day of School, Mouse's First Spring, Mouse's First Summer, Mouse's First Christmas, Mouse's First Valentine, and Mouse's First Halloween.

As soon as your baby is able to move around the house without being carried, it is time to childproof the house. The first and most important thing to remember is that babies will be curious about things you may think would never interest them.

The statistics on the number of children who get hurt and often become a fatality from household accidents are alarming. Some accidents, of course, can simply not be prevented, but a great majority of them can be foreseen and avoided. It is not difficult to make the house safe for your newly mobile baby.

Start with the basic items such as moving hazardous things like cleaning products and medications out of baby's reach. Buy plastic covers for all the unused electrical outlets in the house. Turn the temperature of the water coming from your hot water faucets down on the water heater. Many households have the setting at much hotter than the water actually needs to be.

It is a good idea to go from room to room and make a list of things you will need to change or childproof. It is a good idea to crawl through the room on your hands and knees to see things from the baby's level. You will see many things you may have otherwise missed whether it is a carpet tack that has come loose or a cord that will fascinate the baby but attached to something he or she could pull causing a heavy lamp or appliance to be pulled on top of that little head.

Poisons and medications: You need to move these substances out of the reach of children. This doesn't just mean moving them all higher because all too soon the same baby just learning to walk will be climbing, too, so having to do it all twice can be avoided. Make sure the child cannot get access to these things from the beginning. Closing a cupboard door that a toddler can open or using a medicine cabinet that can be reached by climbing isn't a good resolution and remains a danger.

Flammable materials and burn hazards: Make sure that the toddler will not be able to find matches or lighters anywhere in the house. This is especially important if there is a smoker in the house or visitors who smoke. Matches or lighters can very easily slip between sofa cushions and you need to make sure that didn't happen before the child finds such things. If you burn candles for whatever reason, do not leave the candles or the baby unattended for even a minute. A candle flame is fascinating to a child.

Stairs: Buy a gate not only for the top of any stairs in the house, but also for the bottom to keep the new climber from getting too adventurous. Never assume that a baby is too young to climb steps once he is mobile.

Drowning: Many household accidents involve drowning. Be aware that a child can drown in a very shallow amount of water and it can happen very quickly. This means just an inch or two in the bathtub, so never keep water standing in the tub for any reason. Make sure your pool has a locked gate with a fence. Don't forget unusual places where water should not be standing, either, such as your cleaning buckets. Last but not least, keep the lid on the toilet down, but the better idea is to deny access to the bathroom altogether because of the safety hazards that appear in that room.

By Christina VanGinkel

My twenty seven month old grandson has been traveling with his parents for several months now. They had planned to be home for Halloween, but it now looks as if the next time they may be able to take any time off from work to travel back home may be the week of Thanksgiving. Staying in touch with him at this young age has been a priority for all concerned, and has included daily telephone calls to Nana, Papa, and Uncle (my thirteen-year-old son). It has also included quite a few packages and letters mailed back and forth between us. His latest thing has been to color one side of a page out of his coloring book, leaving the other side uncolored for us to color. When I talked to him Saturday, right after the mail had arrived; he asked me if I had colored my side of the page yet! He is becoming quite the task keeper.

We have also accumulated duplicate copies of some of his favorite books. This way, he can have me read him one over the phone. Mom helps him turn the pages on his end, but I read. It has also progressed to him reading to me. I am sure I mentioned here before that he has already memorized nearly the whole text from the classic 'Go, Dog, Go!' book. We had purchased him his own copy the last time he was home, along with an accompanying stuffed dog from the same story. It is by far his favorite book to read and have read to him.

Our goal in all of this has been to show him how much we love him and to stay a part of his daily life, even though he is hundreds of miles away on most days. This way, when they do make the trip home, he is comfortable staying with us, even though he has not 'seen' us in months, thus giving his parents a break, time to spend some adult together time alone when they are here, without worries about him adjusting each time, because we are 'new' people to him. So far, this tactic has worked splendidly throughout his life. There has only been one time, when he was about a year old, that he acted as if we were strangers. Other than that, this daily regimen of phone contact, photographs, and mail has kept us as close a family as if we lived next door to each all these months of his new life. It has taken some work on all parts concerned, and has kept the phone companies happy at the same time. It has also improved his vocabulary, or at least we feel it has, through all the phone conversations. We have reaped equal rewards, by being able to stay in contact, feeling as if we are playing a vital role in this wonderful little person's life on a continual basis, not just the occasional holiday or extended weekend. If you are lucky enough to have a new grandchild, niece, or nephew, but distance separates you, do not let it control the relationship you have. Take control yourself and make the relationship all it can be!

New parents are often overwhelmed with the changes and additional responsibilities that come along with their beautiful bundle of joy, so it can sometimes be difficult to do all the extra things that we promised we'd do. I recall my own pregnancy and being very excited about the impending arrival of my son. I subjected my mother to a constant barrage of questions about what I was like as a baby. I also asked her for some details, such as what time I was born, how long she was in labor, what my first word was, etc. Imagine my complete astonishment when she confessed that she had forgotten all those things! Sure, it was more than 30 years ago, but that's not exactly an eternity, is it? Her excuse was that "back in those days" there weren't as many journals, keepsakes, and other products aimed at documenting a baby's first year. Well, these days, those excuses won't fly. Here are a few ideas to help you record your newborn's first year to ensure that you can answer all of her questions when she grows up.

Photographs
Well, this isn't exactly an earth-shattering insight. Of course you're going to take pictures, right? That's fine; but in this age of digital photography, there is a greater tendency to take pictures and then just leave them on your memory card without actually printing them or otherwise organizing them. And because it's so easy to just keep snapping away with a digital camera, you can easily have a couple hundred images to deal with before you know what hit you. So it becomes even more important to sort, categorize, print, and store with regularity.

A great way to document baby's growth through photographs is to take a nice photo on her monthly birthday. In other words, if your baby was born on January 1, be sure to take photos on February 1, March 1, etc. I have seen frames sold in baby stores that have 12 spaces for these kinds of photographs. That would be wonderful souvenir to have when baby is older.

Physical mementos
In addition to photographs, it would be nice to come away with some physical mementos from baby's first year. The standard cliche item here is getting baby's first pair of shoes bronzed. I don't know many people who do that kind of thing these days, but you get the drift. Other physical items that you can keep include baby's hospital bracelet, a lock of hair, the receiving blanket, and a birth announcement. These items can be kept in a nice decorative box, such as a jewelry box with the trays removed and you can add to the box as baby grows and her achievements pile up.

You don't have to carry your camera around with you for 12 months or keep everything that comes in contact with your little one during her first year of life, but later on I'm sure you'll feel better having too many things than too few. So get started today!

By Christina VanGinkel

With toys no longer contained to just toy store shelves, or even to a specific department within a store, what is a parent to do when their child begs for every toy that comes into view? For example, cereal aisles are a major obstacle for making it through a grocery store, with hang tabs displaying everything from miniature doodle pads to tiny dolls. Hardware stores are even getting into the game of selling toys by creating displays of tot sized chainsaws and leaf blowers aimed directly at the up and coming toddler who wants the same 'toys' Daddy has. Let us not forget the beauty salon that was once a classic spot to take your toddler to show off her brand new dress while you had your hair or nails done. Now it is the spot to avoid, as they are marketing mini makeup kits and doll heads for your toddler to play dress up on.

It is still possible to take your toddler shopping with you, without having to play the big mean adult by saying no at every aisle you walk down, or store you walk in. Start with even the smallest toddler by getting them involved in the shopping before you even head out the door. Sit down to make a list and hand them their own grocery sheet and a crayon, explaining to them what you are doing, and that they should draw their own list. You will be pleasantly surprised at how even the youngest toddler can grasp the aspect of making a list for the store. When it is time to go, make sure they have their own list, and make sure they ride in a cart. There is nothing worse than trying to keep track of a toddler while you are trying to shop. Put them in the cart, use the built in seatbelts, and if they will not stay in the cart, as hard as it may be to do the first few times until they grasp that you really mean it, leave the store if they do not stay put. Stay out of the toy aisles in stores that have specific departments just for them, and when you come into contact with hanging tabs in the regular grocery section, be firm about telling them no. Never use a toy purchase as a bribe. I know our parents did with us, but back then, the abundance of things to purchase was not at every single turn in the store.

It is possible to overload a child to the point that 'getting' a toy is the thrill for the child, not 'having' it. That is what you want to avoid. When you do purchase a toy for them, get down at the child's level when you get home and actually play with the child and the new possession. Show them how you expect them to care for it, and put it away. Too often, we just imagine that our kids will know how to do these things, and forget the simple facts that if no one shows them, how will they know. Remember that the best way to teach a child not to ask for a toy every time they enter a store is not to get into the habit in the first place. If you already have, then try a slow reversal, talking to your children about why you have decided not to let them get everything their little hearts desire. It may be a bit tough to start, but your child's behavior, and your pocketbook, will be much happier in the end.

Is your baby constipated? If your baby is not producing bowel movements on a daily basis, or is he or she strains when going to the bathroom, this could be a sign of constipation.

Babies can sometimes become constipated when they begin drinking whole milk or when they first begin eating solid food. Their little bodies may have only been used to breast milk before this time, so their body may be having a hard time processing the new foods. Constipation also often happens when children begin potty training (if the child does not like using the potty, he or she may hold it in).

Constipation can be a big problem if you don't remedy the situation quickly. Why? Because after your baby's first experience with constipation, he or she may remember that it is painful and may purposely hold in his or her bowel movements. This creates a painful cycle that can be extremely difficult to break.

So what should you do if your baby is constipated?

Offer baby plenty of fluids. First and foremost, you must increase your baby's fluid intake. Dehydration is the number one cause of constipation. Offer your baby plenty of water, Pedialyte or watered down juice. It is important to keep your baby's fluid levels up, even if the child is sick, or the constipation problem will just get worse. Adding some watered down prune juice to your baby's bottle or sippy cup can help with the constipation. If your baby is vomiting and can't hold down any foods, offer little licks of Pedialyte popsicles.

Foods to avoid. Avoid "constipating" foods like bananas, rice, and dairy products during this time. These foods will only make your baby's stools harder. Instead, have baby eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Laxatives. If necessary, look for some over the counter laxatives like Fletcher's. Or, if you prefer, call your pediatrician to have him or her prescribe a kid-friendly laxative or stool softener that can be mixed into baby's sippy cup. Be careful when purchasing over the counter laxatives on your own-- make sure that the dosages are correct for a baby your child's size (if you are unsure of the correct dosage, discuss it with your pediatrician or pharmacist).

Suppositories. Over the counter glycerin suppositories can be purchased and will usually give your child the urge to go to the bathroom within an hour. Another option is to use an enema (results are usually much quicker with an enema). Your baby will likely fuss if your try either of these methods, so these should only be used if the constipation problem has been going on for several days. Consult with your pediatrician before trying either of these methods and avoid using these methods on a regular basis.

Once your baby does go (especially after you use a suppository or an enema) be sure to have plenty of rash cream or AD & D ointment available-- it is likely that your child will have liquidy bowel movements that will irritate his or her delicate skin. Be sure to check your baby's diapers frequently after his or her first bowel movement.

If your baby is frequently constipated, be sure to call your pediatrician.
Constipation is a common occurrence, but it is not normal. You should work quickly to get your baby out of the constipation cycle.

By Christina VanGinkel

A first-born child is like no other, until the next one arrives that is! One difference between the two though is often dealing with hand me downs from the first. There is nothing wrong with this, other than keeping track of what you already have, or items that may need to be replaced. If you know you are planning to have a second, (or third, or more) you can store the items from the current child in a way which will make it easier for yourself when you are once again going to be needing them.

Keep a small plastic tub or cardboard box in baby's room or closet. When something is outgrown, wash and dry it, then place it in the box. Every month when baby is a newborn, or every few months when they are a bit older, go through the contents and discard anything that is extremely stained, or you know that you would not use again. For example, I had received a gift for my first son of a sweater and bonnet. The sweater was adorable, but every time I put the bonnet on him, he would tug and pull at it. I realized the material liner inside was slightly different from the sweater and was on the rough side. I kept the sweater and discarded the bonnet before my next son wore it. A set of onesies that I purchased shrunk after their first washing and were extremely short in the body. I mumbled despairingly every single time I would attempt to snap one on my first child. When it came time for me to go through the current box that they had landed in when he outgrew them completely, I removed them from the items I was intending on keeping.

After sorting through each box, I would then transfer them to another tub, and make a list of what I had just added. I did not keep sizes within a box separate, other than to place the same sizes together in stacks. I did make note of each item as I added it though. If you have the room, separate stored items according to size, but living in a small house then, the same as we do now, it was more efficient for me to just store things together and keep track of what I put in each box with a list taped to the top of each one. I also made note of anything that I knew I used a lot of, but that did not survive the first child, such as bibs. Not everyone uses them I know, but I had droolers, and would put a bib on them all the time. I also tossed them, as they would become stained. I also made notes as to items I bought that I never ended up using, so I would not make the same mistake twice. Some were personal preferences, such as pajamas without feet. Our house could be drafty, and even if I put sock on the babies, they always seemed to kick them off by morning. It was just easier to buy and use pajamas with feet. Then, when next baby arrives, you can easily do an inventory of what you have, what you need, and what you used and did not use the first time, as a reference for the current baby.

By Christina VanGinkel

If you want to make a gift for the next toddler whose birthday party you are invited to, because you know they already have every toy imaginable, make them a tied fleece blanket. These are not only easy to do, thanks to some manufacturers now cutting the fleece to size and pre-packaging it as a ready to go kit, it is even easier than before (if that is possible!). Add to that the wide range of colors and designs to choose from, including many favorite cartoon characters, and it will be a big hit with the birthday child.

What they are, you might be asking, is a cozy blanket that is a piece of fleece, or two pieces layered for an extra cozy one, whose edges are cut into strips and tied. For the single or double layer ones, cut even width strips, approximately one to two inches wide, by about eight inches deep, around the edge of each fleece square. For the single layered blankets, you simply tie each strip in a knot. For the double-layered ones, it is the same, except you match up the pieces and ties the strips in knots two layers at a time. You can also go back on the double-layered ones and with a yarn needle and short pieces of yarn, and tack the two layers together. Simply run the needle though both layers and ties each loop in a secure knot in random places over the blanket.

Fleece is available in not only solid colors and a variety of pleasing patterns such as flowers, animals, geometrics designs, strips, plaids, and more, but it also comes printed in a variety of kid pleasing characters, such as Sponge Bob Square Pants, Bob the Builder, and assorted Disney characters such as Cinderella.

Finish the gift to perfection by making a simple bag for the blanket to be stored in when not in use. It can also double as a pillow on the child's bed during the day. With pieces of fleece to match the blanket, cut two squares large enough to allow the folded blanket to lie flat, allowing an edge all the way around of about six inches, on all four sides. Cut strips as you did for the blanket on three sides. Tie the same way you did for the blanket, except doubling it if you originally made only a single layered blanket. With the fourth side, sew a simple whipstitch to give the edge a finished look, using yarn in a matching color with a large yarn needle. If you are proficient at sewing, you could also sew a fold around the opening to create a cord pocket to pull the opening closed. Make a matching cord out of leftover strips of fleece, braided together to provide strength. The blanket can be a snug fit in the bag, as long as it fits and shuts. Fold the blanket and tuck inside the pouch before giving. Any child will love receiving a blanket of fleece, especially in a color or character that they love, and the parent's will appreciate that you put the effort into making their child a gift from the heart.

No matter how old your little one is, you're probably spending loads of time just watching. Babies grow and change at a remarkable pace. From the time you brought your little boy or girl home from the hospital until far, far into the future when you are launching your little one into college or his or her own life, you will be watching. The changes happen almost before you know it, so you have to be watchful or you will miss those wonderful firsts and precious moments.

Your baby was experiencing firsts even back in the hospital. The first time he looked at you, the first time she snuggled against her daddy, and the first time she turned her eyes to look at something are all special and important moments. Once you go home together, baby had his or her first glimpse of home, of the nursery, of siblings and pets.

After those first few weeks, baby begins to reach out to interact with the environment. There was the first time the baby reached for something, the first time baby called for you on purpose, and the first time baby caused something to happen. The firsts continue with firsts like swing rides, special toys, and first gurgles, coos and smiles. Baby will rapidly gain important milestones, like first time holding a bottle, first time using a rattle, and first scoots. These are followed rapidly by first words, first jokes, first steps and first scribbles. Your baby is growing into a toddler, and the firsts don't stop there. There will be firsts with other children soon, like first birthday parties, first play dates, and first friends. Before you know it, there will be first days of school and first school pictures. You'll watch your precious child through first soccer games, first baseball teams, and first musical instruments. The first day of preschool will give way to the first day of high school and the first trip off to college before you know it. You'll turn around one day, and find that your little teeny baby is a grown man or woman and out on his or her own. And you will be amazed and wonder where in the world all of those years disappeared to.

Take the time right now to savor your baby's wonderful abilities and learning. Don't be in a hurry to have him or her grow up to independence. It comes all too soon, even when you are trying to enjoy each moment. We need to honor and respect our children's accomplishments, even as we need to find ways to enjoy the moments of their lives without trying to hurry them.

So take your pictures. Keep your journals. Write letters to the person that your child will one day grow into. And make sure that you enjoy each and every moment as it comes along. Those special firsts will happen only once in your child's life. Don't be too busy to notice them. It's all too easy to get caught up in the day to day rush of our lives and our work, and easy to put baby-watching on the back burner. Don't be the parent who regrets missing the first word or the first step, or even one of the smaller and less exciting milestones, like the first pretend game or the first taste of mashed peas. Later, when all is said and done, you will be very glad that you took the time to make memories and to be alert when those special moments were happening.

By Christina VanGinkel

My grandson is only two, yet he has already used all the available storage space in his room. His 'stuff' is starting to spill out into other parts of his family's home. To top it off, as he travels with my daughter and her husband extensively, knowing what he has, and where it is located, is important so they can quickly pack and unpack. Organization of his clothing and toys is of the utmost importance.

Instead of getting him more toys and clothes this upcoming holiday season, I have decided that I will ask my daughter what organizational items we could get for his things that might also help her in her struggle to regain control of this small person's rapidly expanding possessions!

I have looked at a few items already and have compiled a list of spots she might be able to add some storage, including around the top part of his room. A shelf that ran around the room, or on one or two walls, that was wide enough to display things, but not deep enough that stuff would just pile up and be shoved to the back of it, would be a quick way to take control of some of his stuffed animals and other small collections.

His closet is small, but there is no unit built in. It is a basic closet with one hanging rod and an upper shelf. She could gain much needed space in this spot alone by adding a dual row of rods and adding a hanging shoe rack or more permanent shelving unit on one or both sides of the space. Even though the closet only has a single door, it has space available to each side that goes wasted. She could place shelving to each side, facing towards the inside of the space. An organizer on the top shelf or in place of it would be one more spot to gain wasted space, as the ceiling is quite high and most of it sits empty.

His bed is one more place she could gain space for seasonal items. She could change his bed frame to one that has drawer space built in beneath, or she could use under the bed units. As long as she only needs to get at these occasionally, there is no need to be able to see at a glance what is stored, and it will stay dust free and be ready when she does need it. This would also be a good

Because he travels so often, a large bag with numerous storage pockets would also be a major plus. She does have a bag for him, but not the type that has several different sized compartments, just a few big ones. I think if she had a suitcase for him that gave her plenty of separate storage options, she would be better able to keep track of what she has with for him, and what she may purchase for him while they are on the road. A separate one strictly for toys, in addition to one for his clothing would be ideal. With all of these options combined, she will quickly gain control of the 'overspill' that has been created in their home and during their travels.

By Christina VanGinkel

When making or buying clothing and accessories for your baby, be sure to consider several things beyond the 'cute' factor, such as ease of wear, how well it is constructed and wash ability. Too often, especially new parents, look no further than if an outfit is going to look cute on baby. They give no thought to if it will wash well, or if it will be easy to dress baby in. If it is made for a baby, one would assume that it should be easy to wash and care for, and that dressing baby in it should be relatively easy, but this is not always so.

Consider the fabric itself. Is it going to be soft and gently against baby's skin, will it wash easily, and will it hold up to repeated washings? Also consider what the tags are made of, and if they are as soft as the fabric? My grandson has a terrible sensitivity to tags that are stiff and rough, and scratches at them relentlessly, so this is a factor to be considered even after the initial newborn stage. How about the buttons or zippers, are they sewn in a manner that does not allow them to bind or poke? Babies stretch and twist, they arch their backs, they curl into little round balls. Will the material allow baby to do all of this without the seams binding uncomfortably?

How do the washing and care instructions read on the label? Unbelievably, they do make things that must be dry-cleaned. This may not seem overly unreasonable, that is until baby spits up on it every time you put the outfit on. Even outer pieces of clothing, such as snowsuits, are better if they are wash and wear. Babies do not care if their in onesies or a jacket, they will spit up on it, it is almost a guarantee! If the fabric the outfit is made from is not the sort to wash well, consider if it is really something you want to purchase. There will always be items, such as Baptismal outfits for example, that may be made of materials that will not be easily washed. For day-to-day clothing, you should be able to toss it in the wash, with nothing more than the detergent you normally use, with at the most, a stain treatment for especially bad stains.

Be sure to check buttons and decorations also. If an item can be pulled off, it is a choking hazard. Clothing is recalled every year because of just such a problem. Do not leave it up to the manufacturer or the after market in general to determine if an article of clothing is safe for baby to wear. Do your own thorough check of every item you buy or receive as a gift. If something is in question, such as a button used as a decoration, cut it off yourself. If baby can reach it, they will almost surely chew on it, so beat them to it, and remove it first!

These days, many expectant couples choose to find out the sex of their baby at that all-important ultrasound session during the second trimester of their pregnancy. But what if you have decided to go against the norm and wait until your baby is born to find out if it's a boy or a girl?

Even if you have chosen to wait and be surprised at your delivery, there are still fun ways to try and "guess" the sex of your baby-- and you have a 50/50 chance of being right, so why not give it a shot?

Chinese Gender Chart. The Chinese Gender Chart has been around for decades--and it's a fun way to predict of your baby is a boy or a girl. The chart's formula is based on the age the expectant mother is at the time of conception as well as the month that the baby was conceived. Follow the grid to see if you're carrying a boy or a girl (based on that information). There are many versions of the Chinese Gender Chart available on the Internet. It is also sometimes called the "Ancient Chinese Gender Predictor Chart". Some sources say this chart boasts an 80 percent reliability rate, but I wouldn't suggest planning your nursery decor based on the chart's results. It's all in good fun, though. Incidentally, I have 3 children and this chart was correct for one of them, incorrect for one of them, and I'm unsure of the third one (I conceived right at the end of the month, so my conception could have been either of two months, which would affect the chart results).

Baby's Heart rate. When you go for your monthly prenatal exams, the best part is getting to hear your baby's heartbeat. Next time you go, be sure to ask your doctor what the number was. Many people believe that a slower heart rate (less than 150 beats per minute) indicates you're carrying a boy. A higher heart rate means it might just be a girl! This method worked for me-- my daughter's heart rate was much faster than my son's.

Pregnancy Cravings. All women have pregnancy cravings, but are you in tune to what it may mean? If you find yourself desiring sweet treats like ice cream, orange juice and chocolate, then you may be carrying a sweet baby girl. Cravings for meat may mean there's a little boy in your belly! This also rang true for me. When I was pregnant with my daughter, all I craved was ice cream. With my son? Spicy, Italian meatballs!

Other things to look for:

If you find that you have to shave your legs more often during your pregnancy, it may mean a boy. Ditto if you're suddenly noticing some unexplained facial hair. If you're sick as a dog during your pregnancy, you can thank that baby girl that you may be carrying. And if your belly is shaped like a basketball during your pregnancy, you may just be housing the next Shaq in there! If you gain weight "all over", it may mean it's a girl, while carrying just out front (when you don't even look pregnant from behind) is a sign of a boy. Out of all of these "theories", the shape of the belly seems to be the truest, at least in my personal experience.
Have fun guessing!

No two babies are alike, so it stands to reason that the developmental skills of two babies the same age will likely be quite different. But what if you suspect that your baby is falling very far behind for his or her age? Are there guidelines for what a child should be able to do by any given age? And should you worry if your child isn't doing what other babies his or her age are doing?

It's natural for parents to worry if they fear that their baby isn't developing on track. Here are some age appropriate behaviors to watch for:

-- By age four or five months, your baby should begin to roll over. If you're concerned because your baby hasn't rolled over yet, make sure that he or she gets some supervised "tummy time" every day-- put a blanket out on the floor for your baby to lay on. It is easier for baby to attempt to roll if he or she is laying stomach side down (the back to tummy roll is much more difficult to master).

-- Most babies begin to crawl by the time they are between six and ten months. But don't be alarmed if your baby doesn't crawl by then-- some babies just go straight on to walking (and skip that cumbersome crawling piece altogether).

-- By age 12 to 15 months, most babies have mastered the art of walking. Don't be concerned if your cousin's neighbor's sister's baby started walking by age nine months-- sure, that happens, but the majority of babies don't start walking until after their first birthday. Once your baby does start walking, you'll wonder what you ere so anxious about (you may even miss those "easier" days when your baby wasn't quite so mobile).

-- Before your baby turns one year old, he or she will start to babble. Shortly thereafter, expect to hear simple words like "Mama" and "Dada".

-- By the time your baby approaches his or her second birthday, he/she will probably begin saying short sentences or simple two-word combinations. Don't panic if your baby is two and hasn't completed this piece. What should you do?
Consult with your pediatrician at your baby's two-year old check up. The pediatrician may be able to refer you to specialists who can evaluate to see if you child has a speech delay. If your baby is approaching two and a half years old and still isn't talking, you may want to get his or her hearing checked to rule out the possibility of a hearing problem (which would contribute to a speech delay). If your child has had numerous ear infections as a baby, it is possible that there is fluid buildup in his or her ears, which may be making it difficult for him or her to hear. A simple surgical procedure may help with this problem.

If you baby is not hitting any of these milestones, consult with your pediatrician. Keep in mind that if you baby was a "late" roller, he or she will likely be a late crawler and a late walker as well. Some babies just prefer to take their time doing things-- and really, what's the rush?

Some babies go through a period when they are not open to the idea of massage. You may have been massaging all along, or it may be a new idea that you wanted to try. Either way, when babies reach the age when they can crawl, they are too interested in exploring the new world around them to lie still long enough to allow you to massage them.

You should keep up the touching associated with massage, however. If your baby is too active to permit a full massage, you can try rubbing her shoulders when the two of you are sitting together on the porch. Or you can offer your baby boy a gentle massage by rubbing his legs when he is lying down enjoying a quiet toy.

The benefits of touch to your baby are enormous. There is ample evidence that touch increases a baby's desire to develop as early as a few weeks old. While this evidence does not have to be massage, you should offer your baby skin-to-skin contact whenever possible. This touch increases your baby's self-esteem and will encourage him or her to want to explore and learn.

When your baby is no longer a baby, but a toddler, he or she probably will be open to massage again. When you decide that your little one is ready to return to the massages you enjoyed when he or she was a tiny baby, you can try these simple steps to smooth the transition.

First, you can have your baby lie on his or her back. Put your hands together in the center of the baby's chest and slowly make outward circles. Repeat this massage technique four to five times. Then place your fingers on your baby's shoulders and rub them backward and forward, gently moving the shoulders as you go. This technique should help to relax the tense neck and shoulder muscles.

After you have relaxed your baby's shoulders, you can move your hands down the baby's torso to the hips. Next, you should complete the torso part of the massage by putting the bottom of your hand near the baby's belly button. Make circles on baby's tummy with the butt of your hand.

If your baby will let you, try giving a foot massage next. Stroke your hands up and down from the baby's ankle to his or her toes. By doing so several times, you can help your baby to relax his feet.

This type of massage will help your baby to calm down and relieve a little stress. While it may seem to you that your baby's life is not difficult, he or she is learning something new everyday and is struggling to get a handle on the world.

Using massage is a great way to allow you and your baby to bond but make sure that both of you are interested in the massage. Do not continue massages if they make your little one uncomfortable, but you likely will find that both of you will enjoy the experience.

By Julia Mercer

Putting baby "on his back to sleep" is the new saying among neonatal healthcare professionals. During the 1980s and early 1990s, many people believed that babies should not lie on their backs, but on their tummies, because they could choke on vomit.

New research disproved this idea and said instead that babies are more likely to die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) if they are sleeping on their stomachs. That change has meant that many babies do not get enough time on their tummies, which is important for their development.

Allowing your child to lie down on his or her stomach will encourage him or her to hold up the head to look around. While your baby will not pick up her head yet, she will try, and that will help her to strengthen her neck muscles.

Picking up the head, and eventually shoulders, will help your little boy to open up his chest cavity. That will increase his respiratory capacity and help to build strong lungs. The other benefit is to your baby's digestive system. The increase in muscle structure will help the baby's body digest milk more easily, improving his overall health.

The problem for many babies, however, is that the admonition against allowing baby to sleep on her belly means that she is not interested in doing so. If your baby is reluctant to spend any daytime playing time on his tummy, then you can make it a little easier with a few simple steps.

First, endeavor to spend some time with your baby everyday for a few days until you get this situation resolved. Sit with your back against a wall with your knees raised. Put your little one on her or his tummy on your thighs. While the baby is lying there, which should be a comfortable position, begin to rub his or her back and neck softly.

Work on making your baby feel safe by cooing or singing softly. Then you should slowly lower your knees. You may have to work on this step for a while, lowering your knees gradually while your baby gets accustomed to the idea. Once you have worked up to having your knees flat on the floor, you can move to the next step.

Put a soft blanket or a pillow between your legs and put the baby facedown on it. Some babies' complaint is that the floor may be hard or cold or otherwise uninviting. While you cannot leave your little one unattended on a pillow or large blanket, you can allow him or her to lie down on it to get comfortable before you make the move to the floor.

Do make sure that your floor is not too uncomfortable. If it is too hard or cold, try to remedy this situation by adding a plush area rug to the floor or by putting out a thin blanket. If your baby continues to fuss about tummy time, you may want to ask a healthcare provider if there could be a problem. Tummy time is essential to helping your baby's development.

By Julia Mercer

By Christina VanGinkel

Keeping baby dressed stylishly, and in clothing that fits well, as they jump through sizes month after month can be a magic act in itself. Every time you turn around it seems as if your little one has grown another inch and gained a few more pounds. The onsies that fit him or her on a Friday are stretched to their button and snap limits on a Monday! Pants that were long one week could almost pass as a pair of Capri's the following week. Sleeve length is no different, with baby seemingly stretching out everywhere all at once. So what is a parent to do, especially one that lives on a budget as most of us do in toady's world?
Expanding your shopping options is the most efficient way to keep your little one well dressed and your budget intact at the same time.

Shop Outlet Stores

You may have to browse through racks that have more than a few sizes crammed together, but the savings can be phenomenal on a brand new outfit compared to its counterpart on a traditional department store rack.

Rummage and Garage Sales

People love throwing these types of sales, because so many people love shopping them. With clothing being manufactured that lasts long after the few times a child is able to wear them before they outgrow them, passing them on in this way is great for both the buyer and seller. For the seller, it lets them recoup a few of their own dollars spent on the clothes, and just as good for the buyer, allowing them to dress their children in nice clothes for a small portion of the original cost. It is a definite win-win situation.

Clearance Racks

Almost every store has either a few clearance racks or a back room A place where clothing that is the last of its style, or maybe has a small defect, or even just that the new season's clothing has arrived and the store associates just need to make room for the new stock, is piled for sale. The good thing about clearance racks is that the turnover on them is often as huge as the store's inventory to begin with.

Ebay

That is right! Ebay, known for its bargains of all types, is also a great place to both buy and sell your children's clothing. I know one mother who has earned nearly her children's entire clothes budget from their outgrown items she sells on Ebay. She in turns buys almost every single item they need, from Ebay, save for socks and underwear. Though she said, she was having a hard time finding toddler underwear for her son locally, and ended up buying several pack of those from a seller on Ebay. (I knew what she was referring too, as my daughter had the same problem with my grandson!)

Barter and Trade

Check with your church, children's playgroup, or other place that you may meet other mothers of children both younger and older than your own. Inquire if any of them would be willing to set up some sort of trade system for clothes.

When you are planning your baby's nursery, it is easy to get caught up in the hype. "I have to buy that. Everyone has one." Moms and Dads are convinced through excellent marketing campaigns and the peer pressure of suburbia that they absolutely must give their children everything made for babies to give them the best head start possible. What do you really need when designing your nursery, however?

First, you need the basics: a crib, a rocker, and a changing table. The crib should be the first piece you buy because it will be the foundation for the rest of the design. Once you have a crib picked out, then you can look for matching, or at least complementary, changing tables.

While some parents do not use changing tables, and you can certainly get by without one, it is a nice piece of furniture to have, especially if you end up with a wiggle worm for a baby. You can strap the little one onto the changing table, making the whole diaper and clothes-changing process much smoother. Today's changing tables are far more useful than those of yesteryears, too. They typically convert into a dresser, bookshelf, or other piece of furniture once you are done with using them for baby. That makes the investment in them seem like a much better buy.

Definitely get a rocking chair or other soft-backed chair for your nursery. There will be times that although baby is awake, you are about to pass out. You will appreciate the rocker then because you can help soothe baby and still get a little relaxation yourself.

Next, consider getting some type of diaper center. You can even make one yourself with a bit of sewing or design acumen. You will want a place where you can find diapers easily and where you can keep diaper pins (if you use cloth), diaper rash cream, wipes, powder, and other items you may need while diapering. You should find a place to put this portable diaper center near where you will change baby.

While you should not get caught up in everything you, that does not mean that you should not purchase anything to stimulate baby's development. A simple mobile hanging over the crib is an excellent idea to help your baby focus his or her eyes during the first few months.

You also may want to start a little toy center or a little book area for your baby. While he or she will not play with toys for the first few months, and will not be able to understand any appreciation for books for a while after that, plan ahead when you are designing your nursery. A little bookshelf that you can fill up or a basket with toys baby can access will provide places for your baby's stimulation in the nursery.

Look around to see what is available for you to put in your little one's nursery and remember that you will not like everything on the market. Some parents love diaper pails; others hate them. Give yourself the chance to see what you like and make the best decisions for you and baby.

By Julia Mercer

Let's face it. Women are not born knowing everything about how to take care of a baby either. We often assume that Mom will know exactly what to do, leaving Dad floundering to figure out how to change a diaper while Mom is laughing in the corner. There are baby classes for Dad, commercials convincing Dad he can do it, and continued amazement from friends and strangers alike when Dad is taking care of the little one.

Those cultural sentiments offend my husband. And well they should. He participates fully in our son's life and has since we were in the hospital together. Brian changes Jayden's diapers. He feeds him. He bathes him. He plays with him. And I cry.

I have cried watching my husband with our baby because I know that Jayden is one of the lucky children who not only has a Daddy who is there everyday but who is tuned in everyday. Brian doesn't go to work and forget about us. He comes home for lunch so that he can see Jayden for a few minutes during the day.

The simplest part of their relationship - play - is the most fascinating. Brian has told our little baby that his giant Care Bears are sentinels who guard Jayden's toy box when he is not supposed to be in it. At eight months old, Jayden is far too young to understand what a sentinel is or even that there are rules in our house, but that doesn't stop him from attacking the sentinels with a vengeance.

When it is time to open the toy box, Jayden and Brian get the sentinels down and go to battle. Brian holds the sentinels while his baby bites their noses (okay, gums their noses) and legs. Jayden scratches their bellies where their Care Bear charms are and laughs. He laughs so hard that he loses his breath, and his dad is right there with him - laughing hysterically and celebrating their victory.

When Jayden expressed an early interest in banging on Mommy's keyboard while she typed, Brian pulled out a spare keyboard (yes, we have spare computer parts lying around) and fixed it to make it baby proof. Then he gave it to Jayden to use as his own. Brian, a software programmer, beams that his baby son is interested.

Watching these moments between my husband and our baby make me understand a father's love and help me to know that indeed it can be - and is for my husband and his baby - every bit as strong as my own bond with either of them.

Brian takes care of Jayden as deftly as I do. He picks him up at night when he is crying and soothes him. Brian certainly has changed his share of baby diapers and outfits (although he is complaining all the while about the smell of the former and the laundry pile of the latter).

Brian's job as Jayden's Daddy is to help him grow into a man every bit as extraordinary as his father. If he completes half the job, he will have done the world a service.

By Brandi Rhoades

In this time of motherhood martyrdom, many a mom is made to feel badly if she does not breastfeed her child. This trauma feels even worse for mom who wanted to breastfeed but could not for various medical reasons. There are few reasons to beat yourself up over it, though, so listen up.

What about the IQ boost? The latest study about breastfeeding and your baby's intelligence quotient (IQ) came out of the University of Kentucky. The researchers there found that the average boost is only seven points, not the 12-15 previously reported. Further, these researchers argue that much of this boost is from the extra bonding between Mom and baby, not the breast milk itself. Bottle-feeding with skin-to-skin contact and eye contact yields the same results.

What about my baby's immunity? Breastfeeding does give those babies an immunity advantage, but all is not lost for bottle-fed babies. Infant formulas are becoming increasingly similar to Mom's milk, so there is less benefit medically for breastfed babies. Also, there are plenty of ways to boost your baby's immune system through other nutritional needs and general baby care practices that you should be able to keep baby safe. Not only that, but consider that this benefit lasts only while Mom is breastfeeding, and much of the talk about breastfeeding is by moms who only do it for a few months, thereby ending the immunity benefit.

What about bonding? There is no reason to believe that breastfeeding is the only way to bond. Moms of multiple children will tell you that they got time with their new baby through breastfeeding, but that is only because of the way they set their priorities. Those moms could make it a mandatory part of their day that they spend some time alone with the baby. Fix your schedule, and you and baby can bond like any other.

What about convenience? Okay, many a breastfeeding mom talks about her own benefits from plopping the breast in baby's mouth. Yes, it is convenient that you do not have to wash bottles - until you start giving baby bottles of breast milk, but breastfeeding has its disadvantages, too. First, Mom is tied to the baby unless you resort to expressed breast milk, in which case you have negated the whole "no bottles" argument. Not only that, but legal issues aside, many moms are uncomfortable breastfeeding in public. That means they have to find a place to feed baby and cover up at the same time, making breastfeeding when you are out not all that convenient.

And let's talk about Dad. He gets little bonding time with the baby under this system, but you will hear many extreme breastfeeding advocates talking about how little men have to do with their children. It is no wonder that men in these families want little to do with their children if Mom has told him - directly or indirectly - that the only way to bond with baby is through breastfeeding.

While breastfeeding has its advantages, no mom should be made to feel guilty about her feeding decision. In the grand scheme of baby's life, breastfeeding is only a small part. It is all of those other decisions that help baby grow to be an amazing adult.

By Julia Mercer

When my son was born in January, I thought that I had all of the answers. I thought that I knew exactly where my husband and I stood on the major issues in parenting - permissiveness, spanking, and education chief among them. Then Jayden got here. Now I know nothing.

My eight-month-old son is the most amazing person I've ever known. He learns new things everyday - an impossible feat for the average adult. There are so many ways that he shocks me everyday; here are a few of them.

First, he can forgive and forget in a way that I never could. If Jayden gets mad at us because we don't pick him up soon enough or gently take away a toy when it is time to leave the house, he has forgotten it in an hour and can be found giggling and wrestling his Care Bears on the floor with his dad.

Babies can love with a purity adults cannot understand. My husband and I share an incredible marriage, one that I truly believe is stronger than most marriages today. Our love has a history, however, and we cannot deny that past. We have had fights, thought about calling it quits, and been forced to compromise to make everything work. While that kind of relationship makes marriage bonds stronger, it should not be the foundation of a parent's relationship with a baby. Instead, Jayden's love, like that of most babies, has no history. It is innocent and pure, and you can see in every smile and giggle that there is only goodness underneath.

Third, Jayden has taught me that a few bumps and bruises along the way are okay. When he falls, sometimes he cries; sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he just wants Mommy or Daddy to pick him up and comfort him. Regardless of how he feels after a fall, though, Jayden's right back up there doing whatever caused him to fall in the first place whether it is trying to climb the couch (which we have unsuccessfully forbidden) or trying to stand on his own.

Learning is a process, and babies are a testament to the power of that process. Jayden will try something repeatedly until he gets it. The look of pure joy on his face when he finally figures out how to pull a toy from his toy box or how to get the blocks to stand on each other should encourage us all to continue learning.

When Jayden is amazed by a leaf falling to the ground or by what happens when his Mommy breaks an egg into a bowl, I am reminded of the beauty and simplicity of life. As adults, it is easy to get caught up in our lives, our careers, and the general drama of life and forget to sit back and enjoy what is around us.

Most of all, Jayden has taught me that my love is much stronger than I had every imagined possible. While the strength and depth of the love between mother and baby cannot be overcome by baby's growing up, I always will cherish these days with him when our love is all-encompassing.

By Brandi Rhoades

By Christina VanGinkel

We had company yesterday evening that included four children. Friends of my husband and me, the parents are a young couple who are obviously enjoying their children. The oldest is in kindergarten, with her three younger siblings ranging in age from six months to three years old. Rarely does one see kids this close in age in one family anymore, let alone kids as happy and as good natured as these four are. They had come for a visit to share some birthday cake with my youngest son who happened to turn thirteen years old this past week. We grownups deemed it a good excuse to have a visit, and the mother had brought along her computer she was having problems with, so that I could look at it for her.

We had also invited my husband's parents down for a piece of the cake and a cup of coffee. They had never met this other couple or their children, and after introductions and dessert, they were back on their way home, not being ones to visit for any length of time, so it was quickly back to the four younger adults and five kids. I headed into my kitchen to work on the computer, as did the mother, leaving the five kids, her four, my one, and the two guys in the living room. Even with the vast age range from six months to thirteen years, they managed to find enough to keep themselves occupied for several hours, with the help of the dads keeping a close watch on all of them, especially the littlest one.

As the evening wore on, I was reminded why families of times past, such as the one I grew up in, were not badgered constantly with numerous 'there is nothing to do's'. We kids would get bored occasionally, but I know we were never quick to voice it, as there was always something to do, such as play with or watch a younger sibling, wash dishes, dust, rake the yard, complete homework or 4-H projects, and a long, long list of other tasks.

Another couple we know, who have several children of various ages, has commented on a similar insight. With so many children they rarely hear the dreaded 'I am bored' words, as there is always something going on in their household, from doing chores to following in the footsteps of an older sibling, or chasing after a younger sibling. The kids have all been involved in various group activities outside of the house from time to time also, mainly church or 4-H sponsored events. Family time though is the main time consuming part of their lifestyle.

So many families today have just one or two children, often due to financial issues, or because they live in a house, where space is an issue and they cannot see themselves living elsewhere, or they just want one child or two. There is nothing wrong with any of these reasons, as there is nothing wrong with having a large family, especially when there is so much joy in raising them. Whether your family unit is small or large, enjoy them, and take a lesson from families past; an occupied child is never bored!