BabyLoving.com

Well, as of yesterday, my son is having his first bout with sickness. Unfortunately for us, the family members with whom we are staying have developed a virus, and my son seems to have caught it. We have called a local pediatrician, who gave him some medicine for the congestion and rattling he has. There really is little we can do, however, except watch over him and cuddle with him when he wants us to, which is all the time right now.

If you have faced your baby having an illness, even something that you know is fairly innocuous and is building his immune system, then you know how I feel - tired and hopeless. If you have not faced sickness with your baby yet, I want to offer a little helpful advice so that you can get through it a little easier when you do face it.

First know that I absolutely am not offering any medical advice. Seek out your doctor or healer for any medical information. We all know, however, that there is more to being sick than just the medical side, and that is particularly true for babies. For starters, as the mom or dad know that you should try your best not to get frustrated with baby. He or she cannot share thoughts on what hurts and why, and you cannot reason with him or her to explain why lying still would be a good idea. Instead you just need to keep your cool as you are making baby feel better. If you begin to get frustrated, see if your partner or another family member can take baby for just a few minutes.

Babies feed off their parents' emotions, and that is never truer than when baby is sick. If you are panicking, do not let it show when you hold baby, even if you are going to the emergency room because of your worries. Let baby see a smiling and confident parent looking down so that baby can feel okay.

Be sure to monitor your baby's illness. If you need to go to the doctor or need to call in for a follow-up, you will need to have some basic information handy to help assist the doctor. Be sure that you watch and record the baby's temperature, when and how much medication you administer, what and how much baby is eating, and how much baby is going to the bathroom. You will not remember these facts, so keep a pen and notebook handy to write them down.

Be sure that you get rest when baby does. A sick baby will not sleep well if he or she is facing a congested nose or other yucky symptoms. You need to leave everything else - the house, the laundry, the errands - and sleep when baby does. Some babies want to be held when they are awake. Give in to this need. It is not coddling or pampering. Instead some babies, just like some adults, want more love and attention when they are sick. Other babies will want you to leave them be. Work with your baby's desires, not your own, so that she or he can feel security while ill.

Be sure that you are eating and drinking as you should be. It is easy as a mom or dad to stay up all night and then try to make it on fumes because baby needs you. Doing that only serves to make both of you feel crummy and frustrated, and then you are more likely to get angry with baby. Take the time you need to eat even if it means calling out for pizza because you do not have the energy to cook.

Finally, learn to relax. This time is not the last that your baby will get sick. There will be other, and probably worse, times in baby's life. You need to be sure that you are calm so that you can work your way through this illness. It is frustrating when your little one cannot tell you what is wrong. You cannot comfort with words that baby can understand. Still, though, this little sickness is just preparing you for later ones to come. Take a breather. It all will be okay.

By Julia Mercer

The other day I was speaking to a woman who said that she gets very uncomfortable around people who talk about planning for their children’s college years. She said that despite the fact that she and her husband have extra money, she has no intention of ever putting away a penny for her daughter's tuition.

Her comments floored me. I thought that it was very selfish of her to force her daughter to struggle when she does not have to. I was curious about why someone would have such a crass attitude. I could not understand it, so I did a little research.

My attitude is markedly different, but then I have a different experience from the other woman. My husband and I both worked our way through college. We graduated from college at 22 and are paying off our student loans. We paid all of our own bills while we were there. While I resented the people who never had to work hard for their college education, I have every intention of making my son one of those people so that he can take advantage of opportunities that my husband and I could not because of our finances.

At any rate, this woman's point was that it is useless to worry about your child's college education. It is not something that should be of concern to parents of babies. I disagree. I think that now definitely is the time to worry about my son's college education. Estimates are that the cost of attendance at a public university will be $200,000 over four years when my son heads off in 18 years. That cost for in-state private schools or out-of-state public schools will be $400,000; and it will be a whopping $600,000 for out-of-state private schools. That suggests to me that our idea to start investing money now, when our baby is still a baby, is the best idea for his future.

The other reason that this lady believes she should not is that she believes that college is not something that is the parent's responsibility. Instead the parent's responsibility is to provide food, clothing, and shelter only. While those are the absolute minimums, in my mind it makes you a pretty poor parent if you are unwilling to provide anything extra. Sure, you do not have to lavish your child with toys, but why not give her a special present every once in a while?

I feel the same about college. No one is forcing me to prepare now for my son's college education, but I feel an obligation to do so. He is, after all, my son, and I am not going to toss him to the wolves on his eighteenth birthday. He will still live in my house, at least temporarily, and he will still be part of my life. I expect to help him with whatever he chooses.

There is a final reason that I believe the anti-college sentiment is wrong. The very same woman who proposed to me that it was silly spends on her baby. She buys and buys presents that the baby does not need. In my mind, that is such a poor decision! I would rather my son be without the full collection of giant Care Bears than have to through college because I blew what could have been his college savings on the Care Bear collection.

It is our job as parents to our babies to think beyond this year or next year. While we love them and know that they are only a few short years away from temper tantrums and arguing with you about taking the car. Still, you need to think about your baby's life in the years to come because you will need to be prepared to give your baby a wonderful life as an older child and into adulthood as well. If we endeavor to make each generation more upwardly mobile, which is the general trend in the United States, then there is no reason why we should not want to provide more for our babies that we had provided for us. If you have the opportunity and means to begin to put away money for your baby's college years, consider it seriously. The future of your family depends on it.



By Julia Mercer

A recent event made me think about my responsibility as a mom to take up for my baby. When we were visiting relatives, a particularly bully-ish five-year-old nephew stuck his nose against my son's nose. My son scratched his cousin; I scolded my baby (who understands no but does not obey it). The cousin did it again and again. After the fourth time, when he was looking to me for sympathy because my baby scratched him yet again, I said, "I don't feel sorry for you because you're asking for it."

Later I wondered if I was being too mean to my nephew. I really do not think so although I do believe that one of his parents, both of whom were in the room, should have said something to him instead of forcing me to. Still, it made me think about how much I need to defend my baby.

I found it somewhat amusing that my son's natural instinct was to fight back. As he is too young to understand other people's pain or the consequences to his actions, I am left to believe only that his fighting against his space being invaded was purely animal instinct. He felt threatened and he fought back.

Still, as a parent of a baby, you should be prepared for this type of fight. Other people will touch and otherwise bother your child, even when he or she is still a baby. You should be prepared to fight back by using one of these methods.

When another child invades your child's space or is mean, you should ask that child to stop. Say it nicely the first time. "Oh, no, honey, please don't touch the baby's head."

Do not be so nice after that. You should get firmer gradually. If the child continues past two or three times, you should bring up the situation to an adult who is responsible for the child. If the adult is in another location, then you should bring the child in and explain the situation. If the adult is in the room, then there is little need to be polite. Do not be rude but do be firm. "Excuse me. Can you take care of this?"

While this may seem unfair, I think that beyond this point if the parents do not bother stopping the behavior, you have two ultimate choices. Scold the child who is causing the problem or leave; probably doing both would work best. I do not believe that it is my place to fuss at other people's children, but I think that it is acceptable to do so when my own child is at stake. At this point, you can say, "no, your behavior is unacceptable. Do not do it again." Do not yell but be firm.

If you decide to leave, explain to the parents as well as the host or hostess (if you are at someone's house) that you have to leave because you cannot allow your child to be bullied. Make everyone aware of the problem so that there are no misunderstandings when you leave.

In retrospect, I may have handle the situation with my nephew poorly. Perhaps I should have asked my sister-in-law and brother-in-law to take care of the problem instead of continuing to allow my baby to scratch another child. I do not want to teach my son to bully himself, but I will not have him mistreated by other children.

I have realized that whether it is old ladies telling you how to dress or raise your child in the supermarket or children who are roughhousing far too close to your own child that defending your baby is one of the biggest chores of the first year. I learned quickly, as I believe that many mothers do, that I have to defend my baby whenever possible. I deflect joking comment about his rooster hair, point out that that our doctor said he is developmentally advanced when listening to why all of my nephews are undiscovered geniuses, and allow him to defend himself with other children try to bother him. It is odd, too, how much it is instinct - how quickly my blood will boil if anyone else tries to do anything that may harm my child. He is, after all, his mother's baby.

By Julia Mercer

On my oft-discussed trip to my parents, my sister has become my son's best friend. My son has the occasionally misfortunate position of being my only child. While I loved being myself as a child, I realize that everyone does not share my love for being alone. Sometimes my son needs a playmate.

My sister is a teenager. She is old enough to take care of my son while still being willing to play with him. Plus, like many teen girls, she thinks that babies are cute. And he is, after all, still my little baby.

I am glad that my son has decided that he loves my sister. He now smiles and heads for her when she comes in the door. I am glad that all of my family is here to be with my son, to show him that they love him and that they want to be part of his life.

I spent some time in college reading about the statistics on single-parent families. Having been very well-behaved and an exceptional student, I was shocked when people assumed the worst because I had a single mother. What I found was that reports about the research are pretty distorted. Having a single parent is not enough to increase rates of criminality or teen pregnancy or any of the other ills we want to keep from our children. Instead it is the absence of more than one attentive parent, which is why those rates are just as high in families with stay-at-home moms and corporate dads.

So what I discovered was that children who are from single-parent homes and thrive tended to have extended family around them. If a child knows that more people are invested in his or her well-being, then that child is likely to do well.

I am happy that I had such love and support from a very large extended family, and I am happy that those feelings will extend to my son. While my family does not understand it, I do get sad that my baby is not experiencing all of the things that I did.

Babies need the love of people who are not their parents, and my son has found that not only in my sister, but in my entire family. The wonderful part about extended families is that they are willing to help out when needed.

Many people seem to shy away from their extended families offering help because they fear that the help comes with strings attached, such as some sort of say in how a child is raised. The truth is that in most cases, that may be true. The grandparents, aunts, and uncles who give up part of their time to help with Junior want to know that he is being raised as they think he should. That give and take is part of being in an extended family, and anytime I get upset about it, I remind myself that my family raised me - the whole village of them.

My grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were involved in my life from the time I was born until…well, until now. They are still involved. They still feel free to comment on what is going on in my life, and anytime my husband, who came from a different type of family, complains, I tell him that I would not be who I am without the assistance and input of multiple family members.

Depriving your child of knowing his or her extended family should be a last resort that you consider only if there is abuse or extreme cases of disagreement between Mom and Dad and the extended family in terms of child-rearing philosophy. In most cases, however, a baby will be happier and will feel more loved by being part of a huge network of people who genuinely care about his or her life and how it turns out.

Experiencing that love now is something that will stay with your child always. Your child will go into the world, even if that world is only as large as her kindergarten classroom, knowing that there are people out there who care. Your baby can begin learning now about healthy self-esteem and the value of a good family.

By Julia Mercer

I was speaking to someone recently and he was discussing his family's consideration of getting rid of their cell phones, multiple computers, cable, and other luxuries. His wife and children are balking, but they need to make some changes. Then he said, "my parents got by with none of that."

I think that is the key. Our parents did not have those luxury items. They did not have 24 hour access to information about our health, our development, and our insatiable need for consumer items. Our parents did not need these items, and neither do we - not really.

When I think about some of the things our parents - or more likely our grandparents and great-grandparents did, I cannot imagine what they went through with far more children on average than we have. Instead of one child, they had five.

They did not have jarred baby food, disposable diapers, or disposable wipes. Instead of having those items, they were left to fend for themselves and figure out how to get everything done.

I had not realized until my son was born exactly what our parents and grandparents were missing. My mother-in-law, for example, talks of making homemade wipes. First of all, I think homemade wipes are gross. Second of all, wipes are not that expensive. We pay $2 for a container of them that lasts for two or three weeks. I am willing to spend $1 a week to avoid dipping paper towels into a homemade solution.

My grandmother often expresses amazement at what we have now. Although jar food has been around since the 1930s, my grandparents could not afford to buy it. Plus they lived on a farm, and it was just easier - and oh so much cheaper - to make their own baby food. I find, though, that my grandmother revels in the luxuries of modern parenting.

Sometimes, though, she will say, "well, we never had that." She never expresses disapproval, but I know she is thinking that my baby does not need the latest Leap Frog toy or a perfect changing table. It is in those moments that I am thankful for where we are. I am thankful to the parents in years past who have sacrificed so much to give to their babies. And most of all I am thankful that they continued to work hard for their babies and to push the envelope so that now we have people and companies who recognize that babies do need some of the baby care items that we have - and that they and their parents want a whole host of others.

Older parents seem to have made more of a sacrifice to have their babies than we make today. My son is not the best of sleepers, and he has not been since we brought him home. Our pediatrician says that it is perfectly normal and that we should be thankful he so exploratory.

More than that I am thankful that we have cribs. It was not so long ago that parents did not put their babies to bed in cribs. They fashioned sleeping areas out of furniture they had lying around or dresser drawers. My son, then, would be in a heap a trouble, and I would get less sleep if we were living 100 years ago. Plus, I have discovered the beauty of nature sounds. My son sleeps very well to the sounds of the ocean or a mountain stream or spring rain. Fortunately for us, we do not have to wait for that spring rain. I play it from a machine on nights when he needs it.

In the moments when I am turning on the sound machine when my son cannot sleep or the washing machine when his clothes are dirty or the dishwasher when his bottles need to be sterilized, I remember my grandmother and smile. Women like her and the way they raised their babies makes it so much easier for us. I wonder if even older generations of babies were coddled by mothers who would now look down on us and be proud. Would they be happy that we have so many conveniences? Or would mothers of old be sad that we use so many devices to care for our babies?

By Julia Mercer

We are planning a long car ride for the Christmas holiday. We will be leaving Thursday at noon to drive to my parents' house in Georgia. The trip without the baby takes about 12 hours, but with the baby, we are sure to add on some time.

My husband and I got accustomed to quick road trips in college, when we could make a few sandwiches and grab some chips and drinks. We would head out and not stop until we got there. Now, though, it is a different story, and we have to plan ahead to make sure the trip goes as smoothly as possible. Here are the tips we have learned about car rides with the little one.

First, we try to plan the trip around our son's eating schedule. Since we have to drive through the gridlock that is Atlanta, we absolutely do not want to have to stop to get back on the Interstate. It is best, then, that you work to have your baby eat when you will not be traveling through heavy-traffic areas. The best way to work the feeding is to try to feed your infant right before you leave, even if that means interrupting a nap or changing the daily schedule. If you have an older baby who eats solids, then you should give him or her a jar of food before you leave. Plan the drinking of milk and juice periodically throughout the trip so that your baby will be satiated but not stuffed the whole trip. Do not stress if baby does not get hungry on the trip because he will not be using up any calories on the trip.

The second key is to make sure that baby will be entertained. Some parents find that if they sit in the back seat with the car seat, the baby will be more content. Other parents find that plan a little inconvenient as it means that there is no one in the passenger seat, which is especially important on long trips. A compromise is to sit in the back with baby if you have to for an hour or so. One way to avoid needing to sit in the back with your baby is to make sure that he or she will have toys available. While you cannot take the entire toy chest with you on the trip, you should take enough toys and books so that you can keep baby busy. You will just need to plan ahead. Do not give the baby all of the toys at once. Dole them out as baby gets bored.

Plan to stop frequently. Some people stop every hour; we do not. It seems to prolong the trip too much if you are stopping all the time. Baby will want to stretch his or her legs, however, so you should plan for a few trips. Every time you stop to get gas or eat, be sure to take baby out of the car seat, even if it is only for a couple of minutes. She or he will be a happier passenger without stiff little legs.

You also need to plan ahead on what you take in the car. You will need a trash bag for any diapers that do not find a trash can and for empty jars of food. Clean up after baby as you go, and there will be less to do when you get there. If you use formula, put the powder into the number of bottles you will need and then bring along a bottle of water. That way, you can make the formula when you need it, but you will avoid the problem of throwing out milk. You also do not want to give your baby water from random stops as it could upset his or her sensitive tummy. Bring more wipes and diapers than you think you will need so that you do not need to make pit stops for these items.

Remember that you will have a great time once you arrive at your destination, so do not fret about the trip down. Try to plan as much as you can in advance but know that children mean unexpected stops. As long as you can deal with them, the trip will go smoothly.

By Julia Mercer

Your best friend just found out she is having a baby! You want to throw a shower, but you are clueless about what to do. Here are the basic steps you need to take.

First you need to decide if you want to host the shower alone or with helpers, such as the mom-to-be's sister or another friend. Be sure that you check with the family because otherwise people get invited to three or four showers, and it can get tiring. After you have the hosts and hostesses together, determine the budget. You will need to know realistically what you can afford to spend so that you will know how many people you can invite. Be firm on the budget. These things tend to get out of hand, so everyone involved in the planning should be in on the budget at the beginning.

Get the list of people to invite either from the couple themselves or from their parents if it is a surprise party. Keep in mind the budget you have set. Until you have other arrangements final and can estimate roughly how much you have to spend on food, do not invite anyone. You likely will invite both sets of parents, siblings, and very close friends. Beyond that, it is at your discretion who you invite.

Now it is time to pick a theme. Can the theme just be baby? Of course, it can. Some people like to have a themed shower, such as Western or luau. Be sure to pick what you think will work for everyone involved and what will fit with the type of food and atmosphere you would like at the party. Once you have the theme in mind, you can pick out the invitations and other paper ware for the party. Try party stores or discount outlets if you need to cut costs here. You may very well find that invitations can get pricey, and you do not want to spend all of your money on inviting everyone to the party.

Next you will need to plan the menu. If you are having a Western-themed shower, then hot dogs and hamburgers are appropriate. Keep in mind the time of day. People attending a noon shower will expect lunch while people at a 2 p.m. shower will be happy with finger foods only. Be sure to keep these thoughts in mind, as well as how much work you can handle, when you are planning your menu. Also make it simple on yourself and get disposable everything - napkins, cups, plates, and utensils. You do not want to have to wash dishes after everyone leaves, so splurge on the paper goods.

You also will need a location for the baby shower. It should be a place that is pretty convenient for everyone who is invited. If you are hosting the shower, then you probably want to hold it at your house. Otherwise, you may want to hold it in a private room at a restaurant, which can solve you needing to come up with the food. You also can host it at another person's house, provided you promise to clean up afterward. Remember that the most important people are you (because you are doing the work) and the parents-to-be, so both of you should be accommodated first in location.

When you pick the date, think about the atmosphere. If many of the people invited work, then evening or weekends are best. Most showers are held on weekends because they are most convenient. If you wanted something more informal, however, then you may want to consider a drop-in or evening shower during the week. That way, there is less responsibility to entertain everyone.

Remember that this shower should be an important part of the pregnancy experience for the happy couple. You want to be sure to take their opinions and tastes into account when you are shopping. For example, if they are very casual people, then a structured party plan will not work. Some people will prefer a quiet gift opening and snack while others will want an all-out party. If you are the hostess, keep all of these ideas in mind and try to accommodate the soon-to-be parents as much as possible. This is their time.

By Julia Mercer

If you are like many people, you are looking for an exciting life when you are young. You spend your time working hard and having fun and want to spend your free time having fun as well. Perhaps you, like many young professionals, live in the city. Then you have children, and you find that now, you must reconsider why you live where you are and if you want to stay.

When baby is on the way and you are thinking about where you want to live permanently, there are a number of factors that are likely to play a role in your decision. First, you should consider the quality of schools. You will want to look at public and private schools. While you may not be able to afford private school right now, we are talking about several years down the road. Are the schools good quality? You can check state and federal ratings of the schools, and you should. More important for you, however, is how the school system fits with your personal philosophy. If you believe in hands-on learning or self-esteem learning, for example, does the school system adhere to the same principles?

How child-friendly is the city? It may be a little tough for you to gauge that before baby arrives because you have been busy being single. Try doing a little research. Can you find any playgroups for babies?

Also think about entertainment. Can you think of family-friendly restaurants? What about weekend activities? Are there programs geared specifically toward families with small children? While you certainly do not want to move to a town where everything is geared toward family and thus seems sterile to adults, you will want to be sure that you will have something for you to do as a family once you have a child?

Are there parks? Are there playgrounds? Is there anywhere children can play? A good sign is that a town or city without a good park system is one that is not friendly to children. Be sure that you look into everything that your town has to offer for little ones.

Other concerns may include your ability to find a good pediatrician, the proximity of decent stores with children's attire or books, and the way that people treat children when they are customers. You may have to make some observations or calls to find out about some of these issues, but it is important that you research them now. When it comes to a pediatrician's office, you must consider whether or not there are many doctors in your area. Some areas tend to have only family physicians, and you need to decide if that is the right choice for you. Also be sure that you get in with a pediatrician and that you feel comfortable in that office.

Look for where you will buy your children's clothing or other belongings. While you may not mind a drive to the city for big trips, you do not want to have to travel every time your baby needs new shoes or a pair of jeans. Babies go through clothes so quickly that you need to have something nearby in case of emergencies or when quick trips are required.

Watch when you are in restaurants. How do the people there treat the children? Do they ignore them? Do they offer to bring them crayons and a coloring sheet? Watching staff members interact with children is a great way to judge how child-friendly a city is. Be sure that children are not always seated by the kitchen in restaurants. Just look around. You will begin to see how people view children and whether you want to raise your baby in that environment.

While you certainly do not have to decide on a permanent location at this moment, you should decide before your baby gets very old. You want to be able to correct your decision should you realize that it is a bad one. You also want to be able to settle down and feel as if you are at home once your children get a little older. Take the time now to decide where to live, and you will appreciate your own efforts later, when you are in a pleasant, child-friendly place.

By Julia Mercer

When you are planning a baby shower, you will need to work some on the decorations. Here are a few ideas that may get you started and help you feel like you are throwing a great shower.

One idea is to use a stuffed animal theme. The mom-to-be gets to keep the stuffed animals when you are done. You can place the animals strategically around the room or put a small wagon in the center of the main table and fill it with stuffed animals. It is a simple way to decorate for a shower.

If you want to go all-out but are short on the cash or time to do it, then you should try discount party stores. These places have great deals, and almost all of them have an aisle devoted to the baby shower idea. They have storks that you can put up, congratulations signs, and other memorabilia that are devoted to babies. If you opt for this type of decoration at the baby shower, then you will find plenty of ready-made stuff to put up. Your only job will be to get the decorations and find a place to hang them.

You also can make a small balloon centerpiece. These pieces are really popular at baby showers and are simple and inexpensive to make. You will need to get some type of bottom, such as a cute teddy bear or a little toy. Then you will get a number of pink and blue helium balloons. Tie all of the balloons to the center object with pink and blue ribbons. This centerpiece will, of course, be a gift to Mom and Dad at the end of the night. Meanwhile it will be great for the guests to enjoy.

The upside-down umbrella piece also is a great choice. You will need to get an umbrella that looks like it is great for a baby. For example you could get one that is pink and blue or one that has children's characters on it. Then you will put it upside down with small toys, streamers, or balloons in it. Sit it at the table meant for mom so that she will know where she is sitting.

If mom and dad have picked out possible names or are still considering, think about spelling out the name. You can use large wooden or carved blocks to spell out the names on the table. You also could write out various names on the cloth if you are artistic. There is no limit to what kind of decorating ideas you can come up with for a baby shower.

Another option for decorations is to go with a theme shower. I would be careful on this one only because it could make some people feel weird if they go expecting the above-mentioned decorations and find everyone in a hula skirt. Still if mom and dad are into something, such as extreme sports or ballroom dancing, you can make the shower themed for this type of party. Try finding children's props for the theme, such as a baby Hawaiian shirt or a lei and books for children about the themed topic. Put them around the room as decoration and make the entire room themed.

Remember that the baby shower should be fun above anything else. Keep the parents' tastes as well as the age and likely social proclivities of the guests in mind as you plan the party. There should be no alcohol there as a matter of course. Mom cannot drink, and as she is the guest of honor, you should not taunt that fact.

The only real rule on decorations for baby showers is that they should be able to be moved. If Mom and Dad will be opening gifts, you want people to be able to see them while they are opening. You should have a place set aside for guests to put their gifts and have a way for them to watch as the gifts are opened. Other than that, you can imagine any kind of shower you want, and it will turn out okay. If you do it in love, the parents-to-be will know and remember the gesture for years to come.


By Julia Mercer

Let us face it. If you are like most people, then you could probably stand to get a little more organized. That means that you will need to get organized really fast if you already have a baby or if one is on the way. If you had asked me of my vision before my son was born, I would have thought that I would have been a super-organized mother. What I have learned in the past year of motherhood is that I cannot expect to be organized all the time. Still, I do believe that I can start with teaching my son to be organized right now.

I began thinking of my child as a completely organized person before he was even born. I would tell everyone that I wanted to eliminate clutter because right now he has a clutter-free existence. He does not have any reason to have clutter in the womb. So I went about purchasing items for my son with the thought that his things would be organized. I turned down anything that I thought we did not need (really tough when family members offer!) or that would clutter up our house. I am a clutter-free freak, so I was serious about the baby not getting too much stuff.

For the most part, it worked. We did not get many gifts or hand-me-downs that we have not been able to use. We have learned other techniques as well. First, though my son is only 11 months old, we have cleaned out his closet three or four times. It is necessary to clean out his things often in these first few years because he is growing so quickly. He grows out of clothes in a couple of months, and he outgrows the toys he has often, too. Because we do not know if we are having another baby anytime soon, I am saving all of my son's things. We are marking the boxes with the size of clothing or roughly the age of the toys we are putting away.

If you follow these steps, you will teach your child to begin being organized about his or her belongings early. Instead of just tossing away clothes, your child will learn to put them away in an orderly fashion. There are other ways, too, you can help your baby get a jumpstart on organization.

Be sure that your baby's belongings are organized. While it may seems pointless because your baby is not getting anything from the drawers, it is worth it for you to get baby's stuff together now. That way, as she or he gets older, you only will have to maintain the organization and make minor adjustments to the system. For example, babies have plenty of small objects, such as socks, bibs, and onesies, that need organization. Babies' items work best with baskets, and you can move to plastic containers with toddlers. Put the babies' belongings in the appropriate basket or drawer so that later you only have to keep up the system. You will need to change out the socks but not find a place to put socks.

Another key is to be sure that everything has a place. Before you make any purchase for your baby, be sure that you think about - and even talk to your baby about - where that item will go. This step is important both with small items, which can tend to get lost among the baby's belongings, and large items that may become a hassle if they do not have a home.

These few simple steps can help you get your baby on the path to lifelong organization. Many people struggle with being organized. In fact, along with losing weight, it tops lists of what people want to change about their lives. If you teach your baby now to think about organizing every step of the way, it will be much easier. Organizing is one area where the old adage is definitely true: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. By asking about where something will go and creating an easy organizational system as soon as you purchase new items, your baby will learn quickly that you cannot just purchase items and leave them lying around. Everyone is happier if everything has a home!

By Julia Mercer

I had a pivotal moment with my now-husband's family a few years ago when we were on vacation together. Until that time, I had never been comfortable enough to voice my real feelings, especially negative feelings, with my husband's family.

We were sitting outside our condo in Virginia Beach the night we had arrived. My future sister-in-law and her partner showed up with their children. They had been in North Carolina with his family until that day and had driven up.

We were all sitting outside enjoying the weather and fresh seafood. My nephews were running around and whining. They were awful. My sister-in-law and significant other kept threatening all sorts of punishments that everyone knew would never happen. Finally I said, "why don't you just make them go to bed? You keep threatening it."

My now brother-in-law said that I did not have children so I did not understand. I said, "that's a cop-out, and they're annoying the adults."

At the time I was furious. Come to think of it, the whole situation still makes me furious. Now that I have a baby of my own, I am a little more sympathetic, but to the children not the adults. They were exhausted because they were in the car for 10 hours and then saw tons of family they did not see often. Then they ran around, played on the beach, and gorged on the feast we were having. This conversation happened at about 10 o'clock at night.

The problem is that their parents do not watch their children. They view parenting as an inconvenience, and neither of them wanted to get up to put the kids to bed. The boys were exhausted! They were little!

Now that I have a baby, I often wonder if I can say, "yeah, remember that? I understand now, and I still think you were wrong." I wonder if other new parents feel the same way. There is so much in American culture geared toward parenthood being a new part of life, as if you should suddenly become a different person if you have children. You have to sell your cute car, buy a mini-van, and start wearing appliques on your clothing.

I do not buy it. Now I know that my style of parenting is vastly different from any of my own family or my husband's family. For starters, we work hard to remember that our son is a person. He is a little person, but he is a person nonetheless. He has feelings. Things hurt him. He gets hungry. He gets tired of being cooped up in the car seat on long trips. There are many things about being a baby that are not so easy. We try to remember that.

We also realize that we can maintain our own identities and ideas and still take responsibility for our son. In another memorable moment, I was making fun of a woman arguing with her son in a store. The funny part was not the argument but that the child's logic was more sound than the mother's logic. My mother-in-law said that you have to have children to understand that you can lose your mind. You do things that are completely illogical and then defend them.

Perhaps having a baby is not a big enough dose of parenting to understand, but I cannot imagine continuing to defend an indefensible position just to prove to my child that I am right. I do not need to show that I am all-powerful or that I can win arguments with my five-year-old. Now I want to say to my mother-in-law that I still cannot imagine being crazy and continuing on an illogical path just for the sake of continuing.

I want to tell so many people who have said that when I have a baby I will understand that I still do not. I still have different thoughts and ideas, and I believe that my baby will be better off for it. He will know that his mom and dad try to be sensible and that we are big enough people to recognize and admit when we have made decisions that were not so sound.

Am I alone among new parents?

By Julia Mercer

Most articles, including my own, out there about expecting a baby, are about babies that are planned. At the very least the articles are focused toward parents who are together and stable and can make plenty of room for baby without much hassle. What do you do, however, if baby is a surprise? How do you prepare yourself and others?

Well, first you need to tell the baby's father and the people closest to you. If you are scared to tell your parents, then try taking a friend with you or telling them in a public place. If you take them to a restaurant to tell them, then you can be fairly certain unless they have absolutely no decorum that they will not yell and scream.

In reality, few people really hold the baby's beginnings against him or her after birth. Keep that in mind. Your parents eventually will be very happy for you. The key for you is getting through telling them and their initial shock without a huge scene. That is why the restaurant idea is an excellent one.

If you are past the point of caring what your parents think of your life, then just call them up and tell them. Tell them that you are happy.

Speaking of being happy, you need to try to put on a happy face when you can. First, your baby feeds off your emotions, even very early in the womb. There are numerous studies to suggest that a baby born to a depressed Mommy is more likely to suffer from depression. If you find that you are in this situation, then you want to try to be happy about the baby. Imagine the fun you will have and the great memories that lie ahead for you and your baby.

Second, you want to convince others that you can handle it. Seeming happy and being open about the baby are the best ways to approach this situation. I once worked with a woman who was completely unattached and had a baby. She never tried to hide it. She was very happy from the beginning although she was honest about the baby being unplanned. The funny thing is that no one ever questioned the circumstances or even asked if we missed that she was dating someone. Everyone was happy for her. You need that kind of happiness and support around you at this time.

There likely will be some awkward moments coming up for you when you will get those "you have a boyfriend" question. Come up with a standard response and toss it out to anyone who asks questions. Know how much you want to reveal and what you want to say. If you are in a committed relationship, you can tell that asker that no, you are not married, but you and your partner are ecstatic about the baby. If dad is a little more of a ghost, then say no, that you will be a proud single mom.

Be sure that you begin to prepare for your baby. A new baby is a big burden for anyone because you will find that you move more slowly. Getting work done is tough when you have a baby who needs your almost constant love and attention. Having a baby and being a single momma is tougher still. That means that you will need to get as much done as you can before the baby is born.

You cannot paint or lift heavy furniture, so enlist the help of friends. They will be happy to come over and help you get the nursery together. Also prepare bottles and formula or a breast pump, baby clothing, and other baby care items now. Make sure that you get started on the paperwork to get your maternity leave in place. Also shop for maternity clothes! The ones on clearance now are the ones you will need when you are much farther along. You will get a much better deal if you buy the clothes now. While it may seem like overkill to worry so much now, the time will fly by. Soon it will be you and your baby, and you will want to be prepared for that day.


By Julia Mercer

Money is a big concern for many families, especially if baby is a surprise. If you are finding that having a baby has you worried about your finances, take these money-saving tips under advisement. Keep in mind that many times you will be changing convenience for money, so beware that many of these tips will cost more in time.

First, you should breastfeed if possible. Breastfeeding obviously costs less in the long run, but you will need a good pump before you get started. Breastfeeding is probably the second best source of saving money on your baby.

The best way to save money for your baby is by using cloth diapers. If you are going cloth, you will need to invest in quality diapers as well as diaper pins, plastic underpants, and other accessories. Be assured that your investment in these items now will save you a ton of money over the course of time. If you are queasy about using cloth diapers in public, then you do not have to. You can use them only at home although you should beware that it can be a little difficult on some sensitive bottoms. Still the more you use cloth diapers, the more money you will save.

Watch for sales now. Beware of buying full outfits early. You have no idea how quickly baby will grow. Some items, however, such as onesies, you can purchase in bulk when you find a good deal. You can use them anytime of the year, so you will not need to be afraid that you will waste money by purchasing them in the wrong sizes. Also be sure that you shop at yard sales and consignment shops. Many people get rid of all of their baby clothes, and you will find them for pennies on the dollar compared to what the original parents paid. Because babies grow so quickly, you will find that many of the outfits may never have been worn.

Sign up for coupons. I normally do not suggest that people sign up for coupons. The general rule for adult products is that coupons are available only on processed foods, which are not good for you anyway. On baby products, however, it is worth it if you will ever buy formula. You may even be able to get full-size samples if you go to the formula, diaper, wipe, and baby food websites and sign up for coupons. Also ask at your doctor's office. Many of them receive more samples than they can use on newborns, so you can get some great samples there.

I make these next two suggestions with caution. I do not endorse either of them because they go far beyond what I consider valuable money-saving advice. Still, many people, including my own mother-in-law, believe that these are money-saving tips that you should take into account.

One option is to make your own baby food. Okay, I am not opposed to making my own baby food. Once my son reached older babyhood, we began grinding up his food so that he could get a taste of what Mom and Dad were having. That part works for me. Some really handy moms will try to grind up the food to last for days. For example, if you are having sweet potatoes, you can make two or three for the baby. Mash them and put them in ice cube trays. When they freeze, you can pop them out and store them in sandwich bags or simply build up a stock of ice trays to use.

The second idea is to forego baby wipes. You can either wipe baby's little bottom with paper towels (which is really impossible to do well) or make your own baby wipes. You will make the solution and store it so that you can wipe a paper towel in it for a home-made wipe. To make the solution, mix two cups of water with 1/2 cup each of baby oil and baby shampoo.

These money-saving tips are the "biggies" when it comes to raising baby. There are other ways to save money that are simpler. Some of them take little work on the part of Mom and Dad. If you are really going to save, though, you should put some or all of these tips into action.

By Julia Mercer

So, it is your first New Year's celebration with baby? You probably have one of two plans in mind. Either you are hiring a babysitter and heading out or you are staying in for a boring night with the baby and your partner. Well, it does not have to be that way!

You can have a wonderful evening with your baby still around. If you are like me, then you are at least sentimental about the first year of holidays with your little one. While you know that he or she will not be able to celebrate the holiday, you still will find that you want to spend it with your wee one. Here are a few ways that you can spend the new year with your baby and not feel like a curmudgeon.

One option is to plan to spend it with other couples with children. If you have friends with little ones, then you can ask them over. If there are five or fewer children, you can toss them in the living room with some toys while the adults entertain themselves. Try getting wine and a few small appetizers for the adults at the party. Be sure that you break out baby's best toys to entertain the other children and get some quiet activities, such as coloring books for any older children.

If you will have older children, get some blankets and pillows in case they want to stay up until midnight. Your baby will not be able to stay up so be sure that you will be able to steal away from the party for long enough to put him or her to sleep. Also plan for white noise, such as a box fan, so that your baby will not be bothered by the noise of everyone at the party.

If you have a larger number of friends or a bigger group of kids, then you can consider asking a neighborhood teen to watch the children. That way you and the parents can have a great time together without worrying about the children. You can make this shindig inexpensive by asking the other parents to bring something. You are not looking for anything elaborate because you will be taking bites of food in between running after children and comforting crying babies. Instead ask them to bring veggies and dip, chips, or pre-made shrimp cocktails.

Another option is to spend the night alone with baby. If you do not have any friends with small children, then this option may be a better one for you. You and your partner should have a normal dinner and treat baby like everything is grand. Okay, maybe you turn on the tube for a little of the early parties that will be showing and you sing a rousing chorus of "Auld Sang Lyne" with your baby.

Then once the little one is all tucked in, you and your partner can break out the big guns. You can turn on the television to watch Times Squares, put on music, or do whatever makes you feel great heading into the new year, even if it is just cuddling on the couch and talking about the past year in your lives.

You should, however, plan a mini-celebration. You should have a bottle of wine, some good cheese and bread, and sit down to have the food. You can even make a small vegetable tray or have some chips and dip (great if you are celebrating football bowls on New Year's Day). Make it a night for the two of you to remember. Then once you go to bed, you can feel that you had fun, got to kiss and snuggle with your honey on New Year's Eve, and still remember that you are parents.

The key is to have fun this New Year's Eve if you have a baby or if you are expecting a baby. There is no need to go out. You can pick up some confetti and have a big smooch when the ball drops without all the hoopla of ridiculous lines, cover charges, and overpriced beer. Feel free to celebrate, though. Having a baby does not mean your days of fun are over, just that they have changed focus a bit.

By Julia Mercer

Well, we have finally made it through our first Christmas with our baby. We had Christmas celebrations from the weekend before Christmas until Monday night. It was not until my son's fourth or fifth Christmas celebration that he began to be at all interested in the whole process. I am hoping that next year proves a little more exciting, but I did learn a lot in case I have more babies in the future.

My in-laws brought Christmas dinner to our house on the 17th. We have spent the last few Christmases with them, so they were a little upset that we were not going to be there. Since we could not make it this year, they decided that they would come up with spiral ham, scalloped potatoes, and green bean salad. We ate and enjoyed the time with them. They brought our son a gift, but it was not wrapped. He played under our feet while we ate and snatched bites of food from our mouths.

My husband and I staged our family Christmas on the 21st. We decided to start a new tradition and have a seafood Christmas. The only problem is that we got everything going and then snacked on some pieces of crab dipped in butter. Our son ate some cereal while we ate, but he was so tired (no nap!) that he fell asleep in his chair. When my husband tried to film him for posterity, he woke up. We quickly opened gifts, but he was completely disinterested! He did not even like to rip the paper.

Our next Christmases were with my step-father's family and then with my mom and step-dad alone. My son enjoyed the first because he had a little friend - a cousin who is two years old. My son is an only child and does not go to daycare, so he does not have a lot of interaction with any other children. He enjoyed chasing his big cousin around. She is an only child, too, and was not happy to have an 11-month-old chasing her down.

Christmas with my parents was a bit easier. There were fewer people - only my parents, myself, my husband, my son, and my brother and sister. My son was able to play with each of his toys. I have decided that in the future with him, or in the future with other babies, I will try to take the gifts out of the original box and wrap it in another box. The baby toys are enclosed so tightly and have so much to remove before he can play that my son gets bored before you can get the present out of the box.

When we had Christmas at my grandparents' house, my son finally really started to get the hang of it. First, there are five children and 12 grandchildren as well as some other assorted people and spouses. So we are talking about 30 plus people. When everyone started opening, my son went wild. He was screaming, but my husband and I were the only ones who could understand him over the roar of everyone. He did begin opening my cousin's gifts. Fortunately, she did not mind. He tore into all of the boxes, pulling everything from them and moving on. By the end, he had made a path to the other side of the room. The lesson learned there was that I needed to pack more in his boxes. I held off on tissue paper and gift bags because I thought that he would not appreciate them. Seeing my son with the gifts made me see that he was excited about the tissue paper because it crinkles, so I will use it in the future.

My son's final Christmas was with my father's family on the day after Christmas. The lesson there was to learn the schedule before going. We went at 5:00, which was the we were given. By the time we opened gifts at 8:00, my son was ready to go. He had a long time to play and get acquainted, and he was not prepared for the gift-giving. It was too much. My son's Christmas was wonderful but exhausting. He crashed before we even left the driveway.

By Julia Mercer

This year, think about yourself and your baby when you start making your New Year's Resolutions. If you are like most people, you will make the resolutions and then drop them quickly. Most people fail to carry out their resolutions through the end of January. There are a few tips that can help you, however.

First, accept that you are not going to be perfect. You cannot be a perfect partner, employee, or parent, so stop trying! Instead endeavor to be the best you can. Do not allow yourself to make resolutions that you cannot keep simply because you set your standards unreasonably high.

That said, be sure that your resolutions are concrete. For example, do not just say that you would like to spend more quality time with your baby. Instead, make it specific. You would like to engage in at least one new activity with baby every week. You can say that you would like to read two books to your baby everyday or that you would like to keep up with baby's laundry by doing it three days a week. Be very concrete. While you may have a larger goal in mind, such as that you would like to expose baby to more variety in music, make the actual goal smaller and specific so that you will be able to measure your success.

Put your goals into action quickly. While you are thinking about the plans for exposing one new type of music to baby weekly, start your research. See what the library has. Visit an independent music store. Look online for different types of music. Begin making a list of the ideas you have for new activities, whether it is introducing your baby to finger painting or building a sand castle at the park. Remember not to limit yourself because of baby's abilities. Babies learn and develop so quickly that something that seems impossible for baby this month may not be next month. Plus, you are making resolutions to change your life, so you will find some time to do the activity.

Do not be too hard on yourself, especially if baby is still on the way. You will find that your baby will slow you down. It take many moms and dads a while to adjust themselves to baby time, where a quick trip for a bite to eat can be an ordeal. If you have been good at reaching your goals in the past, just keep in mind that you will need to lower the bar a bit with baby.

Avoid making goals for the entire family. This tip applies especially to women. Too many of the women I know decide what is important for them and then try to convince everyone else in the family to join in. So while your goal may be to plant a garden or redecorate the family room, or your resolution may be to stop drinking soft drinks, be careful not to force those ideas onto everyone else. Let your family members decide for themselves what their goals will be.

Finally, be sure that you have a way to track your goals. This system can be as complex or as simple as you would like. You can keep it by percentage. For example, if your goal is to complete a first draft of a novel, and you know that the average novel is 80,000 to 100,000 words long, then use 100,000 for your benchmark. Keep a log weekly. If you have completed 18,000 words, then you are 18 percent of the way to your goal. Another idea is to post your goals and mark them off as you complete them. You also can create a notebook to keep track of how you are doing. While the annual goal may be to sell your products at 12 craft shows, you will need to know what you have to do in January, February, March, etc. Create a notebook that will help you keep track.

Also keep in mind that you do not have to make resolutions only at the new year. If you fall off the horse and then get motivated in mid-March, go for it then. The most important point is to make sure that you are setting realistic goals and that you are happy with the progress you are making.

By Julia Mercer

Martin Luther King Day is probably one of the least appreciated holidays celebrated in the United States. Many people still feel resentment about the holiday. Some people feel that more radical leaders, such as Malcolm X, should have been honored, while other people believe that no one from the civil rights movement should be remembered with a national holiday.

Those sentiments really are shameful because they only serve to bring down the holiday. As a white American, I am ashamed that more white people do not celebrate the holiday since all Americans benefited from the work that civil rights workers did. As for King himself, I understand exactly why there is resentment about his name being attached to the holiday, but I think of it more as a general celebration of the works of generations of civil rights workers.

With that said, this year will be my first full day with a baby on Martin Luther King Day. I say first full day because my son was born on MLK Day in 2005. Having a baby on MLK Day makes me rethink the actions that my husband and I have taken on the past. Doing so led me to come up with a few ideas for you to celebrate MLK Day with your baby.

First, you can go to a parade. This action is the least active you can be, but with a little baby, sometimes that is enough. Even a baby of six months will be able to appreciate the sights and sounds of the parade. Do not be surprised, however, if the excitement puts baby to sleep. Babies tend to crash when they are over-stimulated, and a parade may be just the place. If you do attend a parade, be sure to get there early and not to stand too close. The noise of the crowd may be too much for your baby.

Another option is to check out the local bookstores. Your best bet is to pick bookstores that are independent or that have specific feminist or African American themes. Call ahead to see what they are doing. Even medium-sized bookstores will tend to have events available, and some of them may be geared toward small children. Also try your local library. Remember that while your baby may not be able to participate in the events, just taking him for exposure at this early age will start a lifetime of learning.

Try using the day to support charity. Many National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) chapters offer activities throughout the day, such as neighborhood clean-ups. You can take even a baby to these events. While you may not get as much done as other volunteers, you will be teaching your child that you help the community and the value of working together.

With little babies, you may want to work on an individual type of charity. Take some time to take food to the local food pantry or donate old clothing. These types of charity are lessons you can teach your child by following your example.

If you are looking for something quieter, then you may want to try educational activities at home. You can find a children's book that honors the holiday and read it to your baby. Try crafts that you can associate with the holiday. Get a picture book. Talk to your baby about how important it is to have equality. Set the foundation now for teaching your child about the history of our nation.

Regardless of how you celebrate Martin Luther King Day with your baby, try to use it as a time to teach your child. Just as you begin teaching baby about Christmas or Hanukah or Ramadan, use this time to teach your little one about the nation's history and the struggles that have brought us to our current state. If you are creative, you can work your baby into any celebration that you have. You will need to keep baby's limitations, such as attention span and feeding and napping needs, into account, but otherwise you can plan to honor Martin Luther King with your baby. And if you have never celebrated yourself, let this year be your time to begin!


By Julia Mercer

When most people think of their children, they think of the baby and toddling years as fun and wonderful and maybe a little hectic. The problems seem not to be there until the teen years in our minds, but once baby gets here, you will realize that you will be fighting battles on how baby is raised from the very moment of baby's birth.

Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who gets along with his or her parents and in-laws. Everyone is on the same page about baby and how to raise the most wonderful little person. It is likely, however, that you are not in this situation. I certainly am not. While I love my family very much, they are intent on creating a "boy's boy" who will be rough and tough and plays only with Tonka trucks and Hot Wheels. My in-laws are the same. What is worse is that my son received no fewer than three John Deere gifts for Christmas.

Now, I have nothing against the tractor company. I grew up in a farming family, so it is only natural that my son is lavished with farm-oriented gifts. And I am moderately grateful that a woman figure sits atop the bulldozer that my mom purchased for my son.

It is just that my husband and I feel so strongly about raising a gender-neutral boy. While my family did not cringe when I mentioned that my son likes dolls and wanted one, my mother-in-law rolled her eyes. How do you deal with these types of family conflicts with your baby?

Well, for me, the first answer is to decide how much conflict you want. If it is something that is a major issue for you, then it is worth it to speak up. Other situations are tolerable. My mother, for example, believes in hovering over my son far more than I do. While it means a few bumps and bruises, they are worth it for the teaching it does. But while I am at my parents' house, I will let them hover if they want to. It just is not that big of a deal.

If you are dealing with family conflicts that are more serious, such as racist or homophobic remarks within earshot of your child, then it is best to approach it gently. While it may make your blood boil and your internal reaction may be to scream, "what is wrong with you?" it is best to avoid that confrontation. Try simply saying, "we don't believe that" or directing a message to your child to let her know that you disagree.

Another option is to use the diffuse with laughter theory of conflict. While it is more passive aggressive, it can work because family confrontations are difficult. Try saying, "oh, you know that is wrong" with a smile or making a joke directed to let the offending party know that you are not amused.

If the problem persists, then you should ask your aunt, uncle, grandpa or whomever to watch the remarks or actions around your child. It is unlikely that you will change that person's views, so do not attempt it. Instead just explain that you would appreciate not having to explain why you disagree to your child every time you visit, so could he please reserve those comments when you are around.

Finally, you will need to talk to your child. Even a baby can understand, "no." Older babies begin to have a sense that Mommy is unhappy. You can help out by explaining when you leave that Uncle Jim was being racist and that you do not appreciate his humor. Just be sure that you back up your comments by exposing your baby to a diverse culture or people, books, and toys.

While it may seem silly to everyone else that you are worried about these problems with a baby, you need to stand firm now. It will be much more difficult with a child of even three or four if you have not told everyone, including your little one, how you feel right now. Also know that your comments could cause problems in the family, but remind yourself (often, if necessary) that the price of your baby's values and beliefs are worth some discomfort on your part.

By Julia Mercer

First-year milestones are many, even when parents think that it will take a long time for baby to grow up. While it may seem as if it will be forever before your baby learned to roll over, walk, and talk, he or she will be doing those things and more before you know it. You may find, like many parents, that you are sad at the same time you are excited about the experiences and the wonder with which your baby experiences the world. Here are only a sampling of the magic moments you can expect to have with your baby.

When your baby lets loose her first smile at about two months of age, you will find yourself ridiculously excited. Yes, there will still be those spoil-sport grandmas who will tell you it is just gas, but you will know the truth. Your baby is happy! He can smile at his Mommy and Daddy, who he is kind of beginning to recognize only because they are around so much. Your baby will be able to smile when he or she has developed two important skills: muscle control in the face and social interpretation. Within a few weeks, your baby will realize that smiling is a great way to get attention from others, so he or she will begin doing it more often.

Walking is one of the last feats your baby will conquer. In fact, some babies may not conquer it at all as some children do not walk until 18 months of age. Most babies begin around a year, however, and they start trying by about nine months. Walking, more than any other developmental trait, requires significant coordination. When you are crawling, your center of gravity is three or four inches from the ground. When you are walking, however, your center of gravity is in your torso, which is a good 15 inches from the ground even for short little guys. Walking also requires a balance and ability to maneuver based on your situation, such as a cat running in front of you or a misstep, that other forms of development do not require. You will be jumping for joy when your baby starts walking, but get ready. You will be chasing her around soon!

Standing up comes before walking and even crawling for most babies – if your baby even crawls. Some babies pull up later, so they skip the crawling. If your baby is like my son, however, he will be able to pull himself to standing several months before his little legs have the strength to hold his whole body. My son pulled to standing early, at five months and was standing alone by six months, which I firmly believe is because he spent so much time trying to determine how to chase down the cats. Still, most babies pull to standing between six and eleven months. This milestone, more than walking even, says, "hey, I'm not going to be a baby much longer."

Once your baby hits three or four months, you can prop her up by using pillows behind her back. By six or seven months, however, she should have worked on assisted sitting long enough to have developed the neck and stomach muscles to sit alone. The stomach muscles are very important. If you look at your baby's abdomen by nine months, you will be jealous! The baby six-pack is necessary for him to sit alone. After a few weeks, he will learn how to move around a bit more and control himself while sitting up.

These baby milestones are just a few of the ones you will experience with your baby. You will find that your little one learns so quickly you may be envious. Remember that everyday is a new one for babies, and they are constantly learning. Try working with them to help them get an idea of what standing or sitting up is like. Just do not push them. Babies know what is best for them and what their bodies can do. Pushing them to stand, for example, can hurt their legs. Instead, be patient because the baby days will not last. Just because walking seems obvious to you does not mean that baby will catch on that quickly!

By Julia Mercer

When you think your baby is ready to move from the baby tub to the big people bathing area, you are probably still nervous. Try to make the transition smoothly, though, and baby will be splashing and playing with ducky in no time at all. First, be sure that your child can sit up alone and hold his head up without any assistance. Otherwise, the bath will be uncomfortable as you will have to hold baby and his head up while washing him.

Next, you need to be sure that your bathtub area is suitable for a baby's bath. If you have a particularly slippery tub, you want to be sure that you put down something with a grain, such as those bath mats in the shape of feet. Babies are ridiculously slippery, as you have probably already found out, and they need something to keep their little bottoms still. You also should check to be sure there is some type of handrail or something you can grab in case of an imminent fall.

The faucet is the first possible source of danger in a bathtub. Be sure that you turn the cold on first and off last. That will prevent dripping hot water that baby may get to. If she does get to the water, she will not burn herself if you have turned the cold off last. Also try to keep baby at the opposite end of the bathtub from the faucet. That will help eliminate little injuries when he or she bumps the noggin on the faucet.

Also check the water before you put baby in. Okay, here I admit that I am a bit old-fashioned. We have those little ducks with the disks on the bottom of them to let you know if the water is hot or cold. I have not used them although my son does enjoy bobbing the ducks around his bathwater. Check the water before you put the baby in. You will begin to get an idea of a good temperature, but if you miss out, baby will let you know. You will hear wailing, and baby will do everything to keep from touching the water. If that happens, it is too hot. Put some cold in and try again.

For the first few baby baths in the big tub, it helps to try to keep baby comfortable. Remember that while the tub's purpose is obvious to you, it is not to baby. Plus, it is much bigger than he is, so you need to keep that in mind. You should run the water before you bring baby in so that she is not scared or unsure of what is happening. Have everything handy that you will need as well because you do not want to have to leave baby alone. Also let the water out after baby leaves for the same reason. After a couple of baths, you can introduce the little one to the whole bathing experience a little at a time. Also try putting the baby tub into the bathtub even if baby does not sit in it. The familiarity will help the process go smoothly.

Make bathing fun but also about business. Fill the tub with only a few inches of water so that baby can splash around. Then you take a washcloth and give baby one as well. Allow him or her to wash off the toys in the tub while you wash your baby. You can sing the name of the parts or just chit-chat while your baby is in the tub. You should keep only a couple of toys in the tub. There is no need to overdo it. Baby does not need a full bathtub of toys and should not have any bubbles or coloring soaps at this point. Just keep it simple - a ducky and maybe a washcloth animal.

Making the bathing experience comforting is important. If your little one seems afraid, it may not be time yet. You can try again in a few days. Keep trying and moving the baby's bathtub closer to the tub every time. Also let him or her see your bathwater. Touch the water. Talk about it being soothing. Baby will get the picture eventually and be able to splish-splash with the best of them.

By Julia Mercer

If your family is thinking about adding a new addition, congratulations! It is a tough decision to make but one that can reward your life immeasurably. Adopting a baby is one choice for many couples, whether through necessity or desire. If you are thinking about adopting a baby, here a rough outline of what you can expect.

First, you must be in it together. You need to think, consult, pray, or use whatever you do to make tough decisions. If you will be a single parent, think about the consequences of your actions. Do you have a support system in place? If you will be making the decision as part of a couple, then be sure that both of you are on the same page.

Once you have decided to adopt a baby, your first step in the process will learning. You will need to learn about the various types of adoption, the hurdles you may face, and what will be expected of you. The decision of whether to seek a domestic or international adoption is one of the first ones you will encounter. Domestic adoptions are far less expensive. People who opt for international adoptions do so for a number of reasons. One huge reason is that they are more likely to adopt an infant as opposed to a toddler or young child. In addition, these adoptions are final, and many parents are afraid of the horror stories they have heard about domestic adoptions gone awry.

If you go with an international adoption, then you should seek out federal agencies that can help you. Many countries, like China, send so many children to loving families in the United States that their adoption process for Americans is fairly standardized and easy to navigate. Still, you should expect a minimum of 18 months before you will bring home your baby.

Going the domestic adoption route means deciding between state agencies and private agencies, or using an adoption attorney. The attorney works if you know someone who is having a baby and giving it up, such as a teen girl. The attorney can draw up papers, and you will petition the court to become the baby's parents. State agencies placed children who are in foster homes because they were neglected, abandoned, or abused. A private agency takes on responsibility for babies whose mothers have given them up. These agencies find suitable homes for the children.

After you make these decisions, you will begin the application process, which can be lengthy. In most cases, you will be required to show that you have the income to support a child and that you have a suitable home for a child. The home visits will take place over several weeks, or even months, and you will need to demonstrate your ability to care for a child. If you get frustrated during this process, then think of the smiling infant awaiting you at the end of this process.

You also may have to get referrals, especially if you go through a private agency. You will need letters from friends, family, and possibly even co-workers that attest to your ability to care for a baby that you may adopt. In addition, you will have to provide originals of your birth certificates, marriage certificate, and possibly even medical records to prove that you are in good health. Be sure that you provide extensive documentation for any medical questions or other concerns. Being thorough help here as you will be able to show that you are a fit parent.

After you make it through the application process, you will wait on your new child. The wait depends on many factors, including the children available in your area, as well as your own desires. If you want a newborn, for example, the wait will be longer. If you want a child without any physical conditions, you may be in for a longer wait. Just know that in the end, it will be worth it. Once you find out about a child that you will be able to adopt, you can begin planning for that glorious day when you will bring your child home to her or his own room and make this new addition a welcome part of your family!

By Julia Mercer

Becoming a parent does not have to mean that you give up on who you are in search of being the perfect mother. In fact, many moms do just that to their own detriment - and that of their children. Instead you should try to work your old thoughts, habits, and hobbies into your children's lives. That way, they know who mom is (a really important issue for me), and all of you can have fun together.

One way to teach your children about who you are is to integrate your own hobbies and interests into your children's lives. I try to do that regularly with my infant son though he is still too young to get the lesson. My family loves football. It is an important part of family bonding time for me and my husband, and we have added our son to the mix. We make baby-friendly snacks, such as Cheerios or small, chopped apples. He gets juice during the games, and he is learning to cheer. I had hoped his first word would be "touchdown," but alas it was "da-da." I played flute as a performance musician through my college years. My music is one love I thought I would give up when my son was born because I did not see how there would be time for me to even join a community orchestra. I have discovered, however, that my son loves to listen to Mommy play. He is fascinated by the music and even is able to bang out a note or two on the piano. We bought him some wooden instruments for Christmas, and voila, my hobby becomes his, too.

Another trick is to buy your baby some of the videos and books you used as a child. If you watched Mister Rogers, you can buy a collection. You probably watched Sesame Street, and it is still on. If you do not want to introduce your baby to television, then go for books. What did you read when you were little? For example, I distinctly remember being simultaneously terrified and amazed by Where The Wild Things Are, and I was so excited not only to see it on our local bookstore's shelf but for my 11-month-old son to squeal with delight at the monsters. These nostalgic moments can help you to remind yourself that you and your baby are bonding and are creating a lifetime of memories. It can also bring back the joys of childhood to your harried adult life.

Experience something new. I have recently started experimenting with making candles. I have always had an interest in alternative remedies for our problems, and my research on true aromatherapy candles has led me to develop an interest in this hobby. While baby cannot participate in the candle-making, he can be impressed with the glow when they are made. I am developing a new hobby, and baby can occupy himself with his interest in it.

I also love to experiment in the kitchen, and I thought that, too, would be over when baby got here. Chopping veggies and cutting fresh herbs is tough with a baby underfoot, but here is where I learned a trick of the mommy trade quickly. I just keep him busy in the same vicinity. Hand him a pot and wooden spoon, and he could care less if I left for a trip to the moon. You can change things around, and your baby will play quietly, which, by the way, encourages his intellectual growth, while you are enjoying yourself, too. The same concept applies to reading. You can get a stack of old magazines at a library book sale or stock up baby's room with plenty of books. Then the two of you can read together, and you will both have a grand time.

Having a baby does not mean losing yourself in your child - or at least it should not. You are a person, too. It is okay for moms to need down time or to want to spend time entertaining themselves and remembering who they were before children. You have desires, needs, and wants, and making sure that they are met helps keep you sane during the crazy baby days and helps you be the best you can be for everyone in your life.

By Julia Mercer

Many new moms make the mistake of spending all of their time focusing on their babies. As the mother of an infant son, I understand that desire. You believe that he needs you to be there every minute of everyday, so you try it. I did. I would run to the bathroom in a rush before he could get around well. Now, well, I would love to go to the bathroom by myself. What I have learned over the past year, however, is that my baby needs his Mommy to be healthy, too.

Part of that Mommy healthy comes from me taking time out for myself. I believe that many women are under the impression that they have to feel guilty about spending time for themselves. I have noticed a trend, which may very well have been around for a while but outside my experiences, that many women find themselves slaves to their children instead of being the parents.

While it is a soapbox issue for me, it is the most important piece of advice that I have for the mothers of infants. Take time for yourself. There are plenty of ways you can do that, and here is a sampling.

First, you need to set aside time for yourself. There is no way around the initial guilt of this decision. If you stay at home, you have probably told yourself that you have a fairly leisurely life. You are lucky because you do not have to balance your children with a full-time career; your children are your job. If you work outside the home, you tell yourself that you do not want to spend even more time away from your children. Neither is true. You need time for yourself so that you will feel that you are living your life, instead of being a participant in your baby's life.

Once you have a schedule, stick to it. Think of it like an appointment and make sure that you keep it. If you are tempted to get together with the American Cancer Society fundraising team during your me-time, do not give in! This time has to be yours, and everything else has to come second. If you begin to give it away, you will never stop.

You can make things that you love part of the family's life, too. When my husband and I lived in the city, we shopped at a wonderful outdoor market, and I always loved seeing people bring their babies and small children there. They could experience art, music, and culture all in one place while Mom and Dad took care of grocery shopping.

Also, try making your hobby something your baby can enjoy, even if it means stretching your imagination. If you love the theater, for example, make some sock puppets. Babies as young as six months can watch you give performances. While they will not be Shakespeare (although they could be), you and your baby will have fun together. If you play guitar, play for your children. That way you are nourishing your soul while you are giving your baby something to enjoy, too.

Indulge yourself with some down time. Buy a couple of movies or CDs you love and keep them around. When you have had a bad day or the baby has exhausted you, relax. Sit back with a good glass of wine and listen to some music or watch a movie. Read a novel. Do not feel that you cannot have down time or that you must schedule every minute. Give yourself the time to rejuvenate.

Life is not worth living if you have no fun. Do you remember Susan Sarandon's character's breakdown in The Banger Sisters? She lost herself in taking care of her husband, her daughters, and their dog. You will lose yourself, too, unless you take control of your life now. Do not let anyone, from your parents to your husband, make you feel even remotely guilty for needing time for yourself. Good moms know that sometimes they cannot handle their children, and they make their lives work with that in mind. There is no need to be a super woman; just be the woman you already are.

By Julia Mercer

One of the first lessons you learn as a parent-to-be is that it is expensive to have children! You have not even gotten to paying for college, sending them to summer camp, or buying a car, and already you feel as if you are broke from this baby. One way to get around this dilemma is to borrow some old baby things. You probably know a couple of people who have had babies recently or know of a relative who never got rid of her baby's clothes. Borrowing is a good way to save on the expense, but keep these etiquette tips in mind.

First, you can ask someone to have her old baby clothes and toys, but be sure that you fit one of these categories. You can ask close friends and family members really easily. Just call up and ask if they have any of Katelyn's baby things that they do not mind if you use. Explain that you will take good care of them and then give them back. If you want to know about the woman in the playgroup whose son has the cutest clothes but do not know her well enough, bring it up in casual conversation. Ask what she will be doing with Shane's things now that he is getting bigger. She may be perfectly willing to let you borrow them, or even to give you some of his things, but did not know how to approach it with you. Keep the tone casual, and you could walk away with some nice baby items without spending anything from your dwindling bank account.

If you do borrow, be sure to take extra special care of everything. Some clothing items will get ruined; it is just part of having a baby. Most people do not want clothes back, however. They are small and inexpensive, and unless Mom finds out that she is having an unexpected addition, she probably will have no problem with you keeping the clothes. Still, be sure that you verify before you borrow so that there are no problems later and ask her if she would like to keep a few pieces for mementos. You do not want her to give you items that have sentimental value. Give them back now. On the other hand, items such as strollers or cribs are larger and more expensive. Mom probably expects that either you give them back so that she can use it or pass it around again or that you pass it on when you are done so that more moms can get good use out of it.

Shoes and undies are two items you should not take. Chances are that you will use disposable diapers, so the underwear will not be an issue. Do not take cloth diapers, however. They are pricey if you buy good ones, but your child needs his or her own. As your baby gets older, avoid taking underwear from other moms who are getting rid of it. Your child also will need his or her own shoes. These items are rife for bacterial growth and also tend to warp to the shape of the person's foot who is wearing them. Your child could end up with uncomfortable feet if you give her old shoes.

All of these suggestions are great, but what if someone offers something you do not want? You can make an excuse, such as, "oh, I already have a mobile." Thank the person for her generosity and move the conversation along. If you are turning it down because you really have it already and not because you think it is atrocious, then you can try to suggest someone else who may want it.

Remember that other moms, no matter how affluent they appear, are just as strapped for cash as you are. At the very least, they understand the expense of outfitting the first baby, and the community of motherhood makes those other moms perfectly willing to help you out. You will that having a baby puts you in connection with other women who would not have been part of your circle before children. The children, however, give you something incredible in common. After all, you are all in this motherhood gig together!

By Julia Mercer

Identity theft is a growing concern in the United States. It happens everyday to hundreds of people. Some of the numbers are a little inflated. They include, for example, an angry wife who takes her husband's credit card and racks up debt, or a teen who swipes Mom's checkbook for a night out. Those types of inflations leave some people unconcerned. You should not be, however, as babies and small children are among the identify theft victims in more heinous situations.

Why are babies potential identity theft victims? Well, the sad truth is that few people check their children's credit. Your baby will not be buying a car anytime soon, and he probably will not apply for a mortgage either. That means that identify thieves could have years to rack up debt without anyone ever knowing. By the time you do find out, because your child becomes a grown-up with credit problems or because you get a call from the police about debts, it will take hundreds of hours to correct the problem. If it sounds scary, then listen up. There are some ways you can learn to protect your baby from having her identity swiped.

First, do not keep your child's social security card with you. There are only a limited number of places that are actually legally required to use the SSN. If you get stuck without the card, most places can work you in anyway and cannot require you to give the number out anyway. Keeping the card in your wallet is a great way to invite identity theft. If your wallet is lost or stolen with the card in it, then you definitely need to be on the lookout for identity theft.

Do not give out the number freely. If the little league want your child's social security number, do not give it to them. They do not need and cannot ask for it, though it works like a search warrant. You can volunteer the information and make it legal. If they hound you, know your rights. Also ask them why they would need it and what measures they will take to keep it from being stolen. Most recreation departments have teenaged staff members and really do not have good systems in place. The same applies for doctor's offices and daycare centers. Push them to give a legitimate reason for needing the number. Then refuse anyway. Giving out the number only allows for more opportunities for it to be stolen.

Beyond the social security number, be careful about giving out a lot of personal information. Companies, even summer camps or baby class centers, will sell their mailing lists to marketers. Identify thieves use this information to get duplicate cards and use your child's identity. You should always request in writing that your name not be sold on any mailing list.

Pull your child's credit report annually. You should pull your own report as well to see if everything is correct with your credit. Just add baby's social security number to the list. You need to spot suspicious behavior as soon as possible so that you can make sure that you get to it before it becomes a major problem.

If your child gets mail, check it out. Any mail from collection agencies and the like should be handled immediately. Other possibilities are credit card offers, parking tickets, and government letters. Be sure that you contact the agency immediately and that your child is a minor. Call the credit company and ask where they got the name. If they bought it from a mailing list, see if you can find out who. You also will need to contact the police regarding the issue. Document every telephone call and send certified letters to every company sending your child information to alert them of the problem.

Identity theft is a serious problem. Be sure that you are on the lookout to protect your child. The process to halt identity theft and clear up your child's credit is long and arduous. Being on guard and ever vigilant is important to keeping your baby safe. Do what you can to stop it now and be on the lookout for any problems as soon as they arise.

By Julia Mercer

You thought your life was busy before you had a baby, but just wait! There is more coming to fill up your already-crowded to-do list. Many moms find that motherhood makes them start to question themselves and how much they get done everyday. Here are a few ways that you can keep your life together and fight those feelings.

Cleaning will become a never-ending chore once you have a baby. Many new moms start to feel as if all they do is clean. Especially when baby starts crawling, it can seem that as soon as you get something picked up, baby is at it again. Some moms learn to tell themselves that a clean house is not all that important. Other moms, however, have a harder time just surviving for 18 years with a dirty house. Instead they try to control the cleaning. The best option when you have a baby is to set up a couple of baby stations around your house. Put them in the areas you will use most often, such as the nursery and the living room. keep all of the items you need to change baby's diapers and have a pail there as well. That keeps baby's mess at bay.

Then you should clean up only once a day. Run through your house and pick up after baby is in bed, for example. If you are tired or pressed for time, try getting an egg timer. Give yourself five minutes per room. You will be surprised at what you can do when you are being timed. Then assign big chores a day. You likely cannot clean the bathroom everyday (and who would want to?). Instead pick a day and clean the bathroom that day. If you do that with all of your chores, then you will find that baby's naptime is a good time to get all of the day's work done.

Another trick you can use is to convince yourself that you are getting work done. Many moms have to-do lists, but they do not have accomplishment lists. If you begin to feel overwhelmed by yours schedule with a new baby, then you should begin to keep track of what all you are doing. Write down the trip to the grocery, the feedings, the diapers, and the spot cleaning you had to do. It will help you to feel better to look back over the day or week and know that you did, in fact, get some things done.

Another option is to have some rules that you will not break. For example, you can set the breakfast menu or the day for laundry. Do not allow anything else to overcome that plan, from a screaming toddler wanting cereal on scrambled egg day to a last-minute meeting for the PTO. Be firm. Babies need structure, and quite frankly, it helps their moms, too. While flexibility is key with little ones, it is also important to have something foundational to keep yourself on track.

Take care of yourself! You have heard it before, but the problem is you did not listen. You need time for yourself. Virginia Woolf talks about a mother who always sacrificed and in the end was sad because no one even noticed. Many moms put themselves in this situation. They also go without, avoid their exercise time, and put everyone else first. It is not selfish to take time to care for yourself! You need it. Moms of old did not have spa days, but they also tossed their kids out in the neighborhood to play - giving mom some downtime. You need it scheduled into your day. Then anytime you start to feel stressed, you should take some time for yourself.

Also do not be afraid to move more slowly. Do not put as much on your daily list as you would have done before your baby arrived. Remember that not only do you feel tired, you will have to get the baby ready and take care of his or her needs before you start a task. That can be daunting, so your best bet is to slow down. Enjoy your children and your life. That is more important than finishing off your list!

By Julia Mercer

Let's face it. You probably have the same problems with your parents as grandparents that you noticed about them as children. My mother is like that. I love her, but there are things that drove me nuts when I was a child. For example, she would tell me (actually she would call me after I had graduated from college and moved far away) that I needed to wear a jacket in cold weather. It was frustrating that she thought she needed to tell me that. Now, she does that with my son. She will call and ask if he is wearing socks, or if I mention having gone out, she will ask if I put a jacket on him. I want to say that I just took him in a diaper, but I do not. I know that she has our best interest at heart.

If you are like me, you probably have those issues, too. It may not be the same issue, but there are things that probably drive you crazy about your mother, or more likely your mother-in-law. If it is the case, there are some subtle and not-so-subtle ways to deal with the Grandma problem.

The first choice is just to tolerate it. That is what I do with my mom's reminders to wear the right clothing. I just say, "okay" and move on. Why? It is not because I am afraid of conflict or because I do not want to deal with my mom. It is more because I know that my son needs a sweater, and it makes my mom feel better to remind me. There is no reason to get upset about it. I have a friend who is the same way. While she adheres to a more free-playing form of parenting, her in-laws believe in hovering over her three-year-old son. My friend has decided that it is easy to let them hover while they are visiting and not say anything.

Other problems are not so simple to overcome, however. Some grandparents believe that it is their inherent right to continue to parent. They often will scold a child even as his or her parents are there. My mother-in-law fits this type of Grandma. When my sister-in-law or her husband fusses at their children, my mother-in-law will start in on them, too. It makes me feel awful for the kids because I am sure that it feels as if they are getting it from every side. My mother-in-law has even fussed at my baby! I have a response prepared for when my baby is a little older, but you can use it anytime. I will simply say, "we really think it's best if we get on to him when we are in the room." I hope that it does not have to go beyond that, but if it does, that is okay. Sometimes you have to decide that you want to put your foot (or collective feet) down. You have to explain that you are the parents and while you appreciate your parents' concern (always add in that you know your parents have your child's best interest at heart), you want to take care of discipline problems.

A final way to deal with the problem is direct confrontation. I would not suggest this method unless you are in a state where you really believe that your child could be in danger or if Grandma does something that you do not believe is right, such as spanking your child. In that case, it is best to be firm (easier said than done, I know). Explain to your parents or in-laws (or have your spouse explain to them) that you do not believe what they did was right. Whether they believe it or not is beside the point, you have made a decision for your children. Being firm should handle all but the most stubborn of in-laws. Remember that if they do not listen, your final resort may be to remove your children from them, which is painful for everyone involved. You should let your parents or in-laws know if that is a possibility. Do not issue it as a threat but let them know that you are serious. Once they realize that, they should be more willing to listen to your needs.

By Julia Mercer

My son and I are currently on semi-vacation at my parents' house for three weeks. My husband is not with us. He is back at home working and enjoying the quiet time. Or so I thought. He sent an email last night saying that he complained that our infant son took up much of his time but that he is not sure what to do with himself now that we are not there.

I often wonder that. What did I do with my time before I had a baby in my life? If you are one of those people who believes that having a baby will not change your lifestyle, think again. While do not believe, as do many childrearing experts, that you have to give up your own life to be a parent, it does put a drain on your time.

For example, before my son was born, I read vociferously. He has had an effect on my reading in two ways. First, neither my husband nor I have the time to read for pleasure the way we used to. Even my husband's industry magazines are piled up in our magazine rack, and he reads them during naps or when our baby is playing by himself.

Besides the time, we do not have the money to finance our medium-sized book collection. If I had to guess, I would say that we have about 600 books. Our little library was one of our biggest sources of pride back in graduate school. Now we are filling our son's shelves with books and adding very slowly to our own.

Another way that times have changed is that I used to be the one who wanted - even begged for - the 7 a.m. appointment. I wanted to find out what needed to be done, get it done, and go on with my day. Given the choice, I went in to work at 6 a.m. Although I rarely left the office before 7 or 8 p.m. no matter what time I went in, I enjoyed the ability to get there early and get a good two hours of work done before everyone else.

The day I brought my son home from the hospital, I made an appointment for my new baby to get his pictures made. I had to take a 10:00 appointment; it was all they had. I was distressed, then, to determine that my husband and I could barely make it out of the door in time to get there for the 10 a.m. photos. I was shocked. Ten o'clock was practically afternoon! In that way, my baby has changed my time schedule. Getting a baby ready means bathing him, feeding him, changing him, and then clothing him. It takes much longer to get a little one ready, which means that you will have less down time in the mornings.

The third big drain on time once baby arrives is that your time is not your own. Just when you are ready to head to the grocery store, your baby poops. As frustrating as it is, you have to deal with it. So you haul baby back out of the car seat, take her in, change the diaper, and then 15 minutes later you are ready to start again. A trip out for a half hour walk becomes an hour-long ordeal by the time you bundle baby, get the stroller, and then pack it all up when you are done. Babies often seem to be in charge. Because they are so needy, it makes it necessary to spend more time preparing and organizing before you head out into the world.

While I may complain about these impositions on my time, I am slowly learning that they are okay. Getting everything done is worthless if you do not enjoy life in the process. Spending time with my baby is more important than completing Saturday's errands by 11 o'clock so that I can relax the rest of the day. Like many other parts of my life, I have discovered that having a baby has taught me that time is precious and should not be rushed. If I do not make the 8 a.m. doctor's appointment, who cares? I have something far more important on my agenda.

By Julia Mercer

Babies are big business. In fact, they are a multi-million dollar business, and there is a way that you can get in on the action in your community. One of the simplest baby-oriented businesses that you can start is a baby bag business.

What, you may ask, is a baby bag? Well, baby bags are those little bags that you get from your hospital or doctor's office when you have a baby. While you may not think about it, those bags come from somewhere. Your first task will be to get the bags put together, and then we will worry about where they will be distributed.

First, jot down what new moms and dads need. It can be anything from diapers to bottles to a day of housekeeping or time at the spa. Think of everything you can that may be useful for new parents. Also consider non-profit literature, such as from local government agencies or child abuse prevention societies.

After you have compiled your list, then you should begin to approach these companies. Basically you are asking the non-profit organizations if they would like to include literature in your bags. You should give them this option for free. It makes the bags somewhat of a public service as well, which makes everyone happier. Plus, you can provide good information or safety reminders to new parents who are probably overwhelmed with information and will need the reminders. Many new moms do not know about some government programs, such as WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) that will help pay for products moms need.

Then you approach local businesses. While you will not get coupons from Luvs, you can ask the local grocer to allow a coupon. Offer to make up the coupon yourself if it is a problem although they probably have some type of barcode system in place. Ask for 50 cents or $1 off a pack of diapers. Allow them to include up to one full sheet of information about their store or some advertising in exchange for the coupon. The key here is that they pay for inclusion in the bags. You need to cover the cost of printing the bags (which you will need to have done through a local print shop), the copies, and your time.

Return to your list often. Ask the spa for a free manicure for new moms or some other free or discounted service. Just remember that whatever they include must have something free along with it. Trust me. As a new mom, you relish anything free even if it is $1 off a $50 purchase. You need to save all the money you can!

Okay, once you have the coupons created and have had the bags printed, you need to have places to put them. Have some ideas ready in case a potential advertisers asks you. There are a couple of places to consider. You can approach local medical providers. Ask the hospital if they contract out their bags and if you can include theirs in take-home packets for new moms. My doctor's office gave me three or four bags of goodies, so you should think about them, too. Also look for local churches with lots of young couples or baby groups where they may want to give out information to their members.

Another possibility for a place to give out baby bags is the advertisers themselves. This method works with bridal magazines and other industry-specific places. Ask the advertisers if they will keep a few of the bags on their shelves for their customers. Don't forget to return to those non-profit agencies! Many of them see low-income parents who could really use any financial help they can get.

If you look around, you should find plenty of places to give out the bags. You will need to make the subscription quarterly to make any money with the bags. Once the three-month time is up, then you will need to revisit your advertisers to see if they want to advertise with you again. While the baby bag business may not be incredibly lucrative, you can make a decent wage at it, especially considering the hours you will put in after the initial batch, if you are good at getting exposure for your baby coupons.

By Julia Mercer

Working from home is one of the fastest-growing trends in the American workplace. Yet many women find that they are unsure what to do. Many women who have spent years being wonderful managers of their homes are unsure how they can turn those skills into a business.

Rest assured that it can be done! You can use your skills as a mom to convert into a booming business geared toward babies. One of the possibilities for a baby-based business is to use your existing skills as a seamstress or develop some of those skills and use them to catapult you into business. We will skip over the legal requirements all because I am assuming that you can make your business legal on your own, and you should seek out advice from an attorney or local government reps before moving forward there.

With that said, you should focus on the idea behind your business. If you are good at sewing, there are many baby items, and there is a huge range in pricing. Think about what you want to charge and what you would be willing to pay for your products for your own baby. Come up with a line of products, from bonnets to dresses or slacks to socks. What can you sew for a baby?

Once you have an idea, start looking for craft fairs in your area. Going to craft fairs first really will give you a feel for your customers. While selling online may be (and probably is) your ultimate goal, you cannot see why people do not purchase your items. If you are there, you will be able to see what goes and how quickly and also what people say. Do they put down all of the bonnets after seeing the price tag, for instance? Pay attention to these non-verbal clues to help you.

Once you have a few craft fairs under your belt, you can branch out in a few ways, depending on your ultimate goals. If you are planning to sell retail, you may want to set up a consignment agreement with a local baby store. These agreements work well especially if you are offering high-end products. People pay a lot of money at baby boutiques. You also may just want to sell wholesale to various baby retailers.

Another option may be to open your own store or rent a kiosk in the mall. The kiosk may be better because you will not need a long-term lease and because you may not have enough items to sustain a store.

If you want to expand to the Internet world, now is your chance. If you are going to sell your items online, then you will need a site that is easy to navigate. People need to see the product, price, and be able to purchase the items on the first page where they appear. Make sure that you present yourself in a cozy manner as a mom who is making items for babies that come from a mother's heart.

The other important step in your baby products business is to advertise. If you are online, you can advertise on popular baby websites so that you will get targeted traffic. Search engine ads are another possibility, and some of them even allow you to limit results by IP address, so you can limit to people in your geographic area if you are selling locally. You also will want to send press releases to local newspapers and to create flyers and other advertisements for your business.

There are a number of baby businesses, and you will find that making baby clothes is one that can work for you. If you enjoy sewing, then it is something that you could even do while working around your own baby! As with other home-based businesses, you will be able to work a flexible schedule that fits with your family's needs while still earning an income.

Baby businesses are huge. You will find that you can expand indefinitely and add more products to your baby business as you go along. Just be sure that you are not offering too much or that you are prepared to handle employees when you need them. If you plan accordingly, you will find that your baby business will be great fun!

By Julia Mercer

You can always spot the parent of a newborn. How? Because he or she will undoubtedly have an overflowing diaper bag in tow-- at all times. Fast forward to a year later, where you can usually find that same parent with a lone diaper stuffed in a bag or a coat pocket. Still, when you have a newborn, you do need to tote around a lot more stuff with you. Indeed, a well-stocked diaper bag should include more than just diapers. Here are some important items that you should always keep in your baby's diaper bag:

-- Diapers and baby wipes. Make sure to check your supply of diapers and baby wipes. You should restock your diaper supply every few days, especially if you take your baby out a lot. Nothing is worse than finding yourself out and about with no diapers in the bag! Also, baby wipes do dry out. If you rarely use your baby wipes when you're out, make sure you check them every few weeks and toss and repace them if they are dried out.

-- Diaper rash cream and ointment. You never know when your baby will develop a diaper rash, so be prepared. Keep a tube of good quality diaper rash cream in your bag. Also, a tube of antibiotic ointment is another good item to have (something like Neosporin) in case your baby gets a boo-boo while you're out.

-- Bibs and a change of clothes. Small babies make messes, so don't leave home without some extra bibs and clothes in your bag. You can also look for disposable bibs, which are great for parents on the go. In addition, a fresh change of clothes-- in baby's current size -- should always be in your bag. Make sure the outfit is seasonally appropriate, too.

-- Snacks and food. Even if you nurse your baby, it is wise to pack some powder baby formula and a bottle of water in case-- for whatever reason-- you are unable to nurse your baby. If your baby has moved on to cereal and jarred baby food, keep a jar of food and a clean spoon in your diaper bag for meals on the go. If your older baby eats solid food, pack some snacks like Cheerios cereal or baby-friendly snack crackers.

-- Bottles or sippy cups. Keep an empty bottle or sippy cup in your bag for emergencies. Sometimes bottles get left behind while you are out and you don’t want to find yourself with a thirsty baby and no clean bottles!

--Pacifier. If your baby uses a pacifier, be sure to pack at least two. Pacifiers have a way of getting lost easily and you may find yourself without one when your baby really needs it.

--Sun block. While most pediatricians do not recommend using sun block on tiny newborns, older babies will need to be protected from exposure to the sun. Pack a bottle of sun block that is 45 SPF or more and remember-- your baby needs sun protection even on a cloudy day.

--A hat. A hat is another item that will help protect your baby from the sun. Make sure to pack a large size hat that covers baby's head and protects his or her ears from the sun. Switch out the hat as the seasons change--a warm, knit hat with ear flaps will keep baby's head warm in the winter time

--Small toys or board books. You don't need to lug around baby's entire toy box, but you should have a few special toys and books with you, especially if you are taking baby with you to an appointment where there may be some waiting. Small toys and books can also be a lifesaver if you take your baby out to a restaurant with you.

-- Changing pad. Plastic changing pads are great to have for diaper changes on the go (check the inside of your bag-- pads are often included with diaper bags). If your diaper bag didn't come with plastic pad, it's a good idea to buy one. A changing pad provides a clean work area for you to change your baby-- no matter where you are.

--Plastic grocery bags. These are great for disposing of dirty diapers and storing dirty clothes. Pack a few and you'll be prepared for anything!

By Christina VanGinkel

A new year is not yet here, but an announcement of a new baby's arrival was forthcoming in our family. A cousin's wife is expecting, and the baby is to be born early this coming summer. This will be their second child and there has been a heated discussion going on already even though they are barely into their second trimester and do not have a clue as to the impending child's sex, as to what the baby's name will be.

He favors names that are common, such as Thomas or Mary, and she favors names that make you go huh the first time someone hears them. She won the first time around and their daughter is named Zaz, I kid you not. She might grow up to be a perfect little person, and then again, she might grow up to be every parent's nightmare with a name like that.

I am a firm believer that the name you stick a child with at birth will have at least some bearing on how they grow up in society. Unlike days from past centuries where it was actually normal to live off in the woods without outside contact by others until the child was grown old enough that they may strike out on their own to find themselves, kids of today are raised in part by their peers. I do not say this to mean that parents are slacking; I say this to mean that because we live in such a social world, our children are exposed and conditioned by the world around them, including their peers. If those peers think your child has a weird name, chances are they will make sure your child knows about it!

Does this mean that you should never choose to name a child something that is different from the normal batch of names making the rounds? No, it means that you should choose to name your child something that both parents agree upon, and that you feel will provide your child both as the child they are born, and the adult they will be, can live with and be proud of.

My other cousin named her child after a beloved great grandfather. The name is uncommon in today's world, and eyebrows have been raised when she first announces his name to someone new. She then goes on to explain why she chose the name, and she plans to tell her son this very story as he grows so that he can have pride in the name. To my first cousin who named her daughter Zaz, when someone asked her how she came up with the name, she replied that it was from a phrase that she liked, and just liked the sound of the name for a baby. Knowing I should stay out of the name game that others were playing with her, I just could not resist asking her what she thought the name would sound like on things like college applications, job resumes, even on possibly something as mundane as a wedding announcement someday. She looked at me as if I were nuts, then suddenly her eyes cleared; again, I kid you not, she told me that she had never thought about it in that way. She said that she just thought it would be cute and fun when her daughter was little.

I hope that child will grow up with a lot of spunk to go with the name Zaz; otherwise, she is in for possibly lots of teasing and name-calling.

If you are expecting a new baby, take the time and effort to choose a name that will grow well with your child. One that has meaning to one or both of the parents, or at least something that both mutually agree on. When I see how my first cousin's husband is fighting for the chance to name their second child so early on into this pregnancy, it is not difficult to know that even now, when his daughter is three years old, that he still is not fond of her name. That alone, in my mind, is enough reason to choose to not use a name, even if one parent is absolutely in love with it. If you happen to be on the losing end of the name game, as he is, try to make the best of it and at least push for a neutral middle name that the child can always fall back on later in life if they so choose!

By Christina VanGinkel

Flu season is here. Little ones especially are at risk of dehydration from the stomach upset so prevalent with just about any strain of the flu, and keeping fluids in your child can be a battle. Over the counter products such as Pedia Care, which are specifically for helping with this serious side effect of any stomach illness, are your most effective choices after checking with your primary physician. If you find yourself at home though, with none of the wonder products that work so well, there are still things you can do to help your little one battle the bugs. A note of caution here though: The flu is nothing to take lightly, and if you even think your child is not taking in and retaining enough fluids to keep them healthy, head to the nearest emergency room. Do not try to wait it out, or think that there is nothing the hospital can do to help. The flu can be extremely dangerous and suggestions here are only for the mildest of cases, and for general stomach upset in little ones. It is not meant as a replacement for medical attention by a physician.

Flat soda, such as lemon lime or ginger ale, in small amounts will often be received well by children. Flat is better in my opinion because the bubbles may cause unneeded gas in the belly. If they are old enough to have an opinion about flavor, ask them what they would like. My youngest son swears by flat cola products when his stomach is bothering him. Even young children, as long as they are old enough to vocalize their wants, can tell you what they might want. Trying something they are willing to have a go at is a lot better than trying to get them to eat or drink something they have no interest in at all. Even if it is something, you might not normally associate with giving someone with a sick stomach, such as tomato soup or juice. Liquid nourishment is liquid nourishment is how I try to look at it. I remember my son asking for a bottle of fruit drink called Bug Juice. I thought that it would surely come up as fast as it went down, but whether he was at the end of his stomach upset or it just was what he needed, it did stay down, and after drinking about a quarter of a bottle, he slept like baby and woke up feeling much better.

Popsicles and freezes are also choices that are often met with good reception by an ill child. Small single servings of Jell-O are good to try if they feel as if something a bit more solid would be better, or if they are small, and you are spoon-feeding them, Jell-O is a good way to entice them to at least try to open their mouths for a bit of nourishment. The Jell-O is a good source of hydration as it is mainly liquid.

Again, if something a bit solid is desired, the old standby by of saltines is just as good today as when we were kids. Serve with some chicken broth to get the needed fluid into the child.
Remember that oftentimes with an upset stomach, that less is more, especially at first. If you try to get them to drink too much, and they become ill, nothing will have been gained by their drinking. If you manage to get a spoonful or two into them every ten minutes though, and it stays down, it will add up over an hour's time. If your child is still at the age where they are drinking mostly formula or milk for their liquids, be sure to discuss alternatives, such as the Pedia Care, with a physician. In the meantime, try water, or a light soda such as lemon lime, as some liquid is better than no liquid at all. Small children can dehydrate quickly, so do not hesitate to try to get something other than formula or milk down them even though that may have been all they have been drinking. Water should always be a part of their diet anyways, so it realistically should have been introduced before they are ever ill with something like a stomach bug.

By Christina VanGinkel

New parents often have some vary basic fears when it comes to bringing home baby for the first time. Some will arise when they first learn that they are pregnant, such as where will the new baby live when it is born. Even if baby was planned, that does not mean that the house has a whole room open just for baby. Before baby arrives, baby accessories will start to accumulate too, so space can become an issue quite some time before their actual arrival. In addition, if you like the average person, moving to a bigger house will not be a choice; you will have to make do with what you have.

Until you tackle the issue of where baby is going to reside, make a pact with yourself and significant other. That nothing for baby can come into the house. No onesies, not a single stuffed bear, nothing. This will be your inspiration to get things organized and ready. Once you agree to this, you will find the inspiration needed to tackle the big issue of where to find the space you need.

If you have a room that will be dedicated to baby, you may still have to redo the room from its current state. If it is currently being used, as a spare bedroom for guests, and you only plan to keep baby in there until they are old enough to join a sibling in another room, the changes may not be so drastic to ready the room for baby's arrival. If the room is currently being used for another purpose completely, such as an office, and you intend to have baby take over the room completely, then the transformation will be a much more dramatic makeover.

To lessen the upheaval within your home, it is best to tackle either scenario as early as possible into the pregnancy, to get the ball rolling so to speak. If the baby will only be using the room in a transitional state, say until they are sleeping through the night and then will be moving in with the family's other kids, consider the use of the room now, and what can be packed away, what must be packed away, and what will have to stay. If the room has other furniture in it, such as a dresser for when guests come to visit, can any of these be used temporarily as storage space for all the things that come with a newborn? IS the closet in the room currently filled with items that do not have any other spot in the home to go? If so, maybe it is time to purge your life and home of things that you have been hanging onto with no real plan for.

When we ended up moving our daughter home for the last few months of her pregnancy due to a husband that was traveling for work and an unexpected premature labor scare, I was quickly reminded that shelf upon shelf of paperbacks that I had already read were not necessary to my life and were nothing more than clutter. Being realistic at what you need to keep and what can be tossed, given away, or sold can really bring new light to your possessions.

If the room is already in use for something else, as an office for example, and baby will be taking over the room permanently, you will really need to take a look at your whole house, not just the room itself. The easiest way to accomplish this is to walk through your home and take a realistic look at how you live in each room now. Consider everything from floor lamps to boxes in the backs of closets. If organization is something that has been a negative word in your life, it is now time to make peace with it and invite it in to stay. Keep telling yourself that for everything you remove from your home now, or take the time to reorganize into a more efficient place, is time that will be spent cuddling and at peace with baby in just a few months. Once the room has been emptied, follow it with a thorough cleaning, maybe a bit of decorating, and then you will be all set for bringing baby home.

By Christina VanGinkel

Keeping kids healthy is always a priority for parents. In the winter, it can be even more so. Cold, flu, and a variety of viruses seem to take hold in even some of the healthiest children. If that were not enough for parents to deal with, they also have the worries that come with many of the winter sports that their kids participate in, such as skiing, snowboarding, skating, sledding, and hockey. There are things parents can do to keep injuries to a minimum, and if the kids know, that the parents are serious about these measures and follow along with the rules, injuries can be kept to even a lesser margin.

Helmets, similar in style to bike helmets, are available in models geared for winter sports, come with liners, or are made to fit conveniently over stocking caps. These are actually becoming as common for snowboarders and skiers as for bike riders.

Proper fitting gear is as important as any item bought specifically for a safety issue. If you put a child into gear that is too large or too small, and stick them out on an ice rink, or on a hill on snowboard or skis, you might as well rent a room at the hospital, as you are asking for an accident to occur. A child is always in a constant learning stage with any physical activity they participate in due to the simple fact that they are adjusting to different height and weight issues as they grow. Having them use gear, that is not properly fitted, will only increase their awkwardness. Imagine a pair of skates that wobble, allowing a child's foot to slide forward and back, they will draw a child's attention to their feet, but lessen their attention on their balance. If you are not sure if pieces of equipment, such as a snowboard or a pair of skis, are a proper fit for your child, ask an expert at the hill or rink for their recommendation.

Talk to your kids about safety issues directly in regards to whatever sport they are partaking. Snowboarders and skiers should be taught to stay on marked trails, obey all hill rules, always go out with a friend, and keep that friend in sight. The smallest of children should not be allowed to go out at all without a parent or other responsible adult. They should be taught by a professional instructor the basics of standing, stopping, getting on and off a chair lift, and the use of a towrope or tow bar. They should be told why loose clothing could be a hazard when doing many of these things, such as riding up a towrope. Common sense will play a big part in many of these issues, but unless we, the adults, help inform them what is sensible and what is not when out having fun in the snow, they have nothing to base their decisions on.

Ice skating should only be participated on a rink with adults in attendance. Skating on ponds should be avoided, as there is no guarantee that the ice will be stable. Wherever the water feeds into a pond can produce weak spots, as can warm weather or not a long enough duration of cold weather. Play it safe and do not skate on bodies of water, keep to the rinks. Sledding around ponds and other forms of water should also be avoided. A hill can be fun, but if it leads onto a pond, an accident is likely to occur. Also, make sure kids know that they should not sled where they may hit or collide with obstacles such as trees, stumps, buildings, etc. Throwing snowballs is a pastime that has gone on since long before recordkeeping began, yet ice chunks, rocks, and other debris can make a potentially safe snowball a hazard. Be sure kids understand the difference between snow thrown in fun, and a snowball that can be harmful.

Winter sports can and should be fun for kids. Go outdoors with them; instruct them on what is safe and what is not. Provide them with the opportunity to learn from your good example, and take the time to explain to them why following rules can be so important when it comes to winter fun.

Among the 5,436 issues relating to baby names is the decision whether or not to select a popular name. Parents have very mixed feelings about whether they should let the times guide them or stay clear of names that are ever-popular right now. Here are the basics of the popular name debate so that you can decide for yourself.

The folks who support naming your child popular names support it by saying that the name is popular for a reason. If everyone likes Emma, why not name your child that? The name is one that has favor among parents at the time, and there is no reason to buck the trend. These parents also argue that their children will not have problems in school, at summer camp, or waiting for food at a restaurant. No one will be unsure how to pronounce Mason or Ian which may be the case if you name your child a less popular name.

Blessing a child with a popular name also will mean that they will not be teased. A child named Ethel when that name is not in one of its popular phases is asking for other kids to poke fun, argue these parents. Instead, one of 10 Madisons in third grade will be relatively safe. Since childhood can be traumatic enough, why not make it less so by giving your child a name that other children will like? Some parents select traditionally popular names, such as John, David, and Andrew for boys or Sarah, Elizabeth, or Catherine for girls. These parents believe that these names stand the test of time. There are Johns now just as there were centuries ago, and there is no reason to believe that the name will disappear. These solid names, then, are a good choice for any child.

The opponents of the popular name debate, many of whom have popular names themselves, believe that making your child one of those 10 Madisons is a disservice. Your child will be Madison B. or Madison R. or Madison F. She will never know if the teacher is calling on her or one of nine other classmates. These popular names can be detrimental for children who are constantly telling adults that they are not Madison F., who did poorly on her exam, but Madison R., who did well on his. The 1970s and 80s gave birth to plenty of people named Jessica, Amy, and Jennifer, and many of those people as adults hated the burden of those names.

People who do not want to name their children popular names also may have slightly political and cultural reasons for doing so. Some people want to honor their own ethnic heritage, be it Ghanian or Scottish. They do not want to give their children what have become fairly generic Americanized versions of other names. Instead they opt for Hamish instead of James. Other parents want to show others that they believe their children are different. They want people to remember their child's name so that he or she has a chance to stand out after a first impression on name alone.

The anti-popular name crowd believes that names should have meaning. You should search for the meaning of your child's name. If you want your daughter to be strong and empowered, you will look for a name that shows that strength regardless of its popularity. Some boys names may seem too frat party-ish, for example. Connor, Tyler, and Austin sound as if they are from affluent families, but maybe you want your child to have a name that does not promote that culture or a name like Bo that makes people think of athletes. You may want a name like the Vietnamese Duc, which means moral.

The popular name debate is likely to continue as some parents push for conformity to society's expectations, even beginning with baby's name, while others push for eccentricity, even this early in the game. When you are planning your own child's name, you should not allow this one category to be the only factor in your decision, but you definitely want to take it into account so that you did not think that you gave little Hannah a cool name only to find that it was the name of many other girls born around the same time.

By Julia Mercer

When you planning a name for your baby girl, you may be tempted to go with something cute, but you should consider that your daughter will use this name not only as a baby and little girl but as a woman. Here are a few female names that come with positive associations for some people. Give them your consideration before you name that beautiful baby girl.

If you want people to think independent when they think of your daughter, Carla is a good name to select. People think that Carla is an outgoing and independent woman and will suit a little girl as well. Kate and Pam are good choices for outgoing girls as well although Kate is associated more with cuteness while Pam makes people think of sweetness.

The eccentric parents may want to consider either Alana or Ava. Most people view Alana as smart, yet mysterious, making her an enigma to others. Ava is a name that invokes thoughts of beauty, but Ava is a dreamer. She is ambitious and will go after what she wants. Courtney, too, is a name for someone who is a little uncertain in a good way. Courtney is bright but mischievous.

Several female names make people think of friendliness. For example, Joy, Joyce, and Christy are names that are associated with friendly girls. Joy and Joyce are a little old-fashioned, though, so those names are suited for people who want to give off an impression of traditionalism. Christy, however, is a more modern feminine name that people associate with someone who is friendly. Naming your child Christy means that you have lots of alternate spellings, such as Kristy, Kristi, or Christi. You also can try slight variations on the name, such as Christina, or Christian that use Christy as a nickname.

If you are looking for something a little eccentric but still used enough for people to have a positive association with the name, you can try Francesca and Marlo. Francesca is the Italian form of Frances, which in turn is Latin for free. In fact, most people think of freer cultures when they think of Francesca; she is European and exciting. Marlo, on the other hand, is an English name meaning "descendant of Mary." In usage, the name evokes images of classiness, a sort of old money girl.

Other fun names for girls include Randi, Amy, Hope, Jody, and Roxanne. Each of these names has a different meaning but give people generally positive vibes. Randi, the name of an empowering character in the Girl Talk series for pre-teen girls, typically is a nickname form of Miranda for girls. Randi gives people thoughts of someone who is cute and lively. Amy, a more contemporary name, has educated vibes. Hope, a name that cycles in usage, gives people the ideas that the word itself means; Hope is calm and gentle, always looking on the bright side.

Jody, a more masculine-sounding name, makes people think of athletic and outgoing girls. Although often used as a stand-alone name, Jody actually is a shortened version of Judith. Roxanne was not used often until the Steve Martin Hollywood version of Edmond Rosrand's Cyrano de Bergerac in the late 80s. Now, Roxanne, which is Persian for sunrise, makes people think of someone who is enthusiastic about life.

Steffi is another name with which Americans are familiar, thanks mostly to Stefi Graf. The name is of Greek origin and is a nickname for Stephanie, which means crowned. Steffi is cute and perky according to people's minds.

Naming your daughter is an important decision you will make. Be sure to take into account what you want people to think of when they think of your daughter. Do you want them to have images of someone who is overly feminine? Would you rather they think her serious? While names are not the be all-end all of existence, they do matter; otherwise, we would not spend so much time thinking about them. Be careful when you name your little girl. She will have to go through life with your selection, and you want it to be one that makes her proud, not embarrassed. Pick a strong name, one that you will love for their rest of your life, too.



By Julia Mercer

While there certainly is nothing wrong with the traditional Anglo-Saxon name, some parents want to give their babies names that will make people remember them. One option when you are considering names for your baby is to go beyond your own cultural boundaries to explore names from other cultures.

There are a number of reasons to seek out a perfect name. One possible reason is that you want to honor your own heritage, however distant, with a name to represent it. Another reason may be that you respect the culture or beliefs of the people of another nation; naming your child with one of their popular names is one way to show that honor. You also may simply like the sound of a certain name. Though I am not of Greek heritage, for example, the name Aleni is a beautiful name to my ear and one I would seriously consider were I to have a daughter. Another reason may be that you want to give your child a name with meaning. Many American names, because we are such a melting pot, do not have a precise meaning. They may be made up, or they may have such a muddled heritage that we have lost what they meant. You can search through names from other places in the world to try to find a name that means what you want for your child. Here are some names to help you begin your search, but this list is by no means exhaustive. Take it and run with it. Use it as a guide.

One example would be Greek names. These names are particularly appropriate for intellectual families as many of the Greek names we know, such as Aristotle, are the names of popular philosophers and mathematicians. Many Greek names also lend themselves to nicknames in the English-speaking world. Some Green girl names to consider are Aleni, Daphne, Dimitra, Angeline, and Katina. Choices for boys include Christos, Kimon, Nicos, and Elias.

Swedish names also work well in largely English-speaking areas. While some of the names sound odd to the American ear, most of them are simple enough to spell and pronounce. In fact, some Swedish names, such as Anna and Christina, already are popular choices in the United States. A few male names from Sweden include Erik, Anders, Gunnar, Hans, Oskar, and Lars. Beyond Anna and Christina, you can select Eva, Erika, Kerstin, Helena, Elisabeth for your daughters. Norwegian names are similar in geographic origin and in sound to the Swedish choices. Here are a few for you: for girls: Anne, Astrid, Grete, Camilla, Kirsti, Kari, Marianne, and Trine; for boys: Andreas, Hans, Jan, Jens, Jon, Petter, and Simen.

Moving beyond the Western world, try out a Filipino name for your child. These names often have an Anglo influence, and many of them will be pronounced slightly differently in the United States than in the Philippines. For boys, you can try Antonio, Armando, Ramon, Raul, Domingo, or Carlos, and give Aida, Aurora, Carmen, Consuela, or Eveline a go on your girls' list. If you want something a little tricky and fun, look to the Japanese. Many of their traditional boys' names, such as Hiroshi, Kenji, and Toshio, are interesting and have distinctive sounds. Their girls names, too, are fun: Junko, Reiko, and Kameko. What is more is that while there is not a large Japanese population within the United States, video gaming and animation have brought their culture and language to this country, making these names a better choice now than ever.

If the sounds of Russian languages are appealing to you, as they are to many Americans, you have numerous choices. Selections from Russia proper for girls include Anya, Galina, Marina, Mila, Natalya, and Vera. Boy names are Aleksey, Georgi, Boris, Ivan, Leonid, and Oleksandr. Moving outside Russia, you can try a few Polish names, which sound very similar. Here are some male choices: Adam, Josep, Michal, and Franek. For girls, think about Aniela, Beata, Eugenia, Stefa, or Joana.

These names are only a few of the thousands out there from non-Anglo areas. Try some of them out. Do not be afraid to experiment with names. You may find the perfect name for your child if you expand your horizons.

By Julia Mercer

In today's high-tech world, you may find that you have the option of emailing your pediatrician instead of just picking up the phone. In fact, some doctors and nurses are beginning to prefer this method of communication. You can find out quickly by doing a search engine look up for your doctor's name, or you can ask the next time you have a visit scheduled. If your doctor has the emailing option, keep these considerations in mind.

First, know that you are sharing your information with more than one person. This concern is not so much about spy ware. Instead keep in mind that the email likely will go to a central box and that someone, probably the receptionist, will read it first. This person will decide who should receive the message and then will send it on. You should not expect that only the doctor will read the note. While that may concern you, it is not that different from leaving a note for the nurse or doctor to give you a call. Either way, someone needs to route your call so that the appropriate person can take care of you.

Second, these messages probably will not get a response as quickly. Even technology-friendly offices may not check email messages as often as phone messages. That means that you will have to wait for a response. Also keep in mind that there will be no responses over the weekend, so don't look for one. Doctors' offices are busy places, and just because email is instantaneous does not mean that the responses to said email will be as quick. No one is sitting around waiting for the messages, so they are answered in between seeing patients, recording information, and performing other office tasks.

This slow response time also should dictate what types of questions you should ask. Do not send pressing medical issues. Instead, you can ask more general questions about your child's medical situation or about billing, scheduling, and other issues. Think about what is appropriate for an email before you send it. If you will need several follow-up questions or if the situation is complicated, it is a matter best handled in person or over the phone.

You also may have a fee. Check to see if there is a fee associated with email consultations before you send one. If there is, you may want to consider making a phone call instead. If you are asking a simple question, you probably do not want to pay a cover charge to do so. The doctor's office should warn you about any fees but ask to make sure. They will not be covered by insurance, so they will be your responsibility.

Only ask one question in an email, or at the very least keep the emails related. You can ask about two items on your billing statement, but avoid asking about scheduling an appointment and about a good motion sickness medication. Remember that central mailbox where everything is going. It will be harder for your questions to get answered if they need to go to more than one person. Instead send a separate email for each grouping to make it easier on the staff members fielding your concerns.

Keep in mind what you can explain in an email. If you cannot explain the issue in two to three sentences, then you need to call or go in to ask about the problem. You should be able to explain everything that has gone on very clearly for the other person to understand what you are saying. Also include details. If your baby has a rash, don't just say, "she has a little rash." You need to be more specific. Think about what questions the nurse would ask if you were on the phone. "She has a rash on her forearm. It is red and blotchy, but there are no raised bumps." This type of explanation can save a lot of time and confusion.

Finally, use email sparingly. While it is convenient, you should keep in mind that it can take longer for the staff person to type a response, particularly if a follow-up is needed, than to talk to you in person.

By Julia Mercer

The process of naming your baby probably seems pretty simple. You have the little one, check on the sex, and declare the name. The actual process, however, is a little more complicated. For most people, it is a matter of filling out some paperwork and checking to be sure that everything is correct. If you find yourself in a different situation, however, here is what you need to know.

First, despite Prince's change of his name to a symbol, United States courts have held that Americans' names must consist of letters. Numbers are not permissible according to a 1978 ruling that prohibited a parent from changing his child's name to 1069. Americans have absolute freedom beyond the letters requirement for what to name their children, which is not true of all nations. There are no rules about whether your child must have a middle name or how many names your child can have. The convention, however, calls for one first name, one last name, and one surname.

Speaking of surnames, this issue is not entirely settled. At one time, children's surname was not an issue up for discussion. Married parents gave the child the father's surname, and unmarried parents gave the child the mother's surname. That trend has been changing, and in many states, the parents now have the choice. There are a couple of reasons for this trend. First, the influx of Hispanics into the United States has called into question patriarchal English naming practices as many Spanish-speaking countries use a maternal naming system. Second, many women now keep their names after marriage, and births to unmarried mothers is not taboo. It has opened the possibilities for new naming practices, including permission to hyphenate or select another surname altogether.

You do not have to decide on your baby's name before you leave the hospital or even before the birth certificate is signed. You can delay the inevitable but only for so long. There are no laws that require a decision on the name within a certain timeframe, but in many instances, you will have to have a court order to continue delaying the name. If you absolutely cannot decide at the hospital, you can take baby home anonymous.

Should you pick a name and then find it unsuitable or discover that it creates problems, you have the right as the parent of a minor child to make changes to the child's name. The procedure for doing so varies. In many states, there are statutes in place that will permit the parent to sign a form to change the name within a certain time period after the baby's birth. The parent simply needs to create a document and get it notarized that will tell the courts that the parents have changed their mind. In other cases, such as changes for an older child or to change a surname, the parents must petition the juvenile or probate courts to make the name change. Finally, some states require extensive documentation to show that the child in question is in fact the right child and that the parents will change the name. Many parents simply begin calling the child by the middle name or a nickname rather than go through the hassle of a legal change.

Should you need to change the child's name because of a birth certificate error, you will find yourself in a similar situation. Some states permit the parents to sign a form recording the error and correcting it while others require court appearances. The best way to deal with this problem is to avoid an error to begin. Do not sign the birth certification registration until you have looked over it completely. If you are the mom and have been taking pain medication, wait until Dad or some other family member arrives. It may sound silly, but some people's spelling or reading abilities are hindered by pain medications. You need to make certain that you have the correct information to avoid problems.

These issues are but a few of the ones you may face when it comes to naming your child. Just be sure that you are making the right choices and that you know the law if you will want to make an unusual request for your child's name.

By Julia Mercer

Naming your baby will take up much of your time in the first months of your pregnancy. This decision is one you and your baby will have to live with for the rest of your lives. Indeed, it is important. For that reason, many parents fret over the decision for hours upon hours before settling on the perfect name for their little ones.

Over the past few decades, gender-neutral names have become more popular. Not all Moms and Dads want their daughters to grow up wearing tutus around the house and their sons to carry hip holsters and wear sheriff badges. Instead, these new moms and dads want their children to avoid judgment based on name alone. So they consider names like Britt, Carey, and Casey, which can be either boys or girls. Is this the right decision? Only you can decide for your baby.

On the pro gender-neutral side, parents believe that others form an initial opinion based on a name. A teacher who has a Madison will not know if that student is a girl or boy. The teacher will have to wait until Madison arrives to find out. These parents also believe that for girls in particular, a gender-neutral or even masculine name can be a benefit. Although many people believe gender discrimination to have ceased about 40 years ago, the sad reality is that women still face uphill battles in many fields. Patients are likely to be more interested in seeing Doctor Leigh (Lee) Jones than Doctor Bambi Jones, or even Doctor Jessica Jones, goes the reasoning these parents use for giving their children gender-neutral names. Other parents believe that gender has become an unimportant identifier. We do not have to put little boxes around boys and girls that force them into reading certain books, playing certain games, or pursuing certain goals. Why, then, should we have names that identify their sex?

The anti-gender-neutral crowd does not really exist. They are, in fact, all of the parents who named their daughters Amy and their sons John. Why did these parents select gendered names? They probably gave little thought to the topic. Many of these parents likely picked from a list of names they like because they are the names of family members, for example, or because they sound nice to the parents' ears. They did not consciously make the decision to give their children gendered names.

What, then, would these parents have to say about the benefits of gender-neutral names? They likely would argue that these benefits are in the parents' minds only. In fact, teachers do not make assumptions about children by their names alone, that they do, in fact, wait to meet the children before forming an opinion about them. In fact, these parents would argue that it is silly to think that other people would give that much thought to a child's personality or ability based on gender.

Another argument for gender-specific names is that it avoids confusions. Parents who consciously decided against gender-neutral names probably had this argument on their minds when they made the choice. Let us return to little Madison. Is Madison a boy or girl? I am not sure, which means that I cannot assign her to a group in class or put her in a seat if I am putting students boy-girl. There are too many instances in which Madison may feel left out because no one knew where to put him or her. For example, project forward. Madison filled out the paperwork for a dorm at college but forgot to put a gender. Where does he or she go? Guessing could be disastrous and would be much easier if Madison were Nancy instead. Indeed, Madison may be in for a lifetime of explaining that she is in fact a woman or that he is a man. It is easier, then, to pick a name that belongs to one sex or the other.

If you are looking for a gender-neutral name but want something with a more feminine appeal, try out some of these names: Andrea, Ashton, Jada, Dominique, Leigh, Kelsey, and Madison. More boy-friendly gender-neutral names include Aaron, Cody, Dallas, Evan, Francis, Jordan, and Logan. The following names are used fairly equally for boys and girls: Ali, Devan (and variants), Kayle, Kristian, Avery, and Brook(e).

By Julia Mercer

Well, my little man is about to experience his first Christmas. It is already causing consternation, which I did not want. First, we had some miscommunication with my mother about one of the gifts. My husband and I were planning to pick up a Leap Frog Tad for him. My mom said she got one, so we got other gifts. Then, she said she took it back because she decided that she did not like it. Arg! Luckily, his birthday is in January, so I thought that all was not lost.

Then my mother-in-law said that she got him a great little riding toy. That is great, except that we got him a riding toy! So we took it back last night and got the Tad that we were getting to begin with. Tad did not cost as much, so we made out better in the long run. Why do we put ourselves through this, I have asked more than once. Babies will not remember their first Christmas. Then I remind myself that I will remember it, and I want the memory to be a fond one.

Now my mother is not sure if she got too much stuff. I can tell you that she did. My mom has a tendency to overbuy at Christmas, and I am afraid that we will not even be able to take everything back with us. We are driving instead of flying down so that we can bring everything back. That only means, however, that everybody is buying extra stuff because we will have so much room!

I am glad that my son has so many people who want to make him happy, but I am hoping that his first Christmas does not become something that causes stress. I have decided over the past year that we will not do anything again that causes us stress, and this is one of our first tests. Life is too short to go through it dreading every holiday because everyone is fighting over our son.

Next year, my husband and I will be giving everyone a list very early to let them know what we bought for our son. Still, baby's first Christmas is a big deal for all of the grandparents, and we are trying to remember that. My son is the first grandbaby for my parents, and they are excited. He is the son my mom never had, so they are buying tons of toys for him.

We are trying to buy him a few gifts that are not toys. We did get some clothes for him. He does not care about the clothes, or really any of the gifts this year. Eleven-month-olds do, however, enjoy wrapping paper, so we thought that since we have to clothe him anyway, we should wrap some of the things we bought. We also bought an array of wooden instruments for him. I played flute for 12 years and piano for several, and music is really important to me. I want him to love it, too. He will have a whole set, tone blocks, castanets, a recorder, a triangle, clackers, and others. I am hoping that baby has as much fun on his first Christmas as we will.

Baby's first Christmas can be a stressful time for any family, but it is something we are determined to avoid. We will not cart him from place to place and person to person during the time that we are visiting. I think that many parents get so busy trying to make everyone happy that they forget about their little people's feelings. Babies need structure. It is not a popular sentiment right now, but they do need something secure in their lives. At least my baby acts much better when he knows what is going on.

He needs to know that he can nap when he needs to. Instead of catering to the grown-ups who want to hold him, I have decided to cater to him because he is the one whose life will feel turned upside down during the stress of the holidays. I have decided to make a special effort during the holidays, as all parents with babies should do, to spend some quiet time with just him everyday. He needs that. His Mommy does know best here.

Naming your baby is one of the most important jobs you will have as you prepare to become a parent. While a child named Ethel or Igor can work her or his way through life, it will not be without the expectations and images attached to those names. Boys' names have changed a lot over the past quarter century as many parents try to name their children fun names that are not too masculine but will be respected. Here are the common connotations of some boys' names. These names are ones with positive thoughts attached to them. So as you are planning a name for your little guy, give them some consideration.

Alexander is one such positive boy name. Meaning intelligent and a leader, people can see Alexander as an executive or in an important position. From a historical perspective, Alexander the Great comes to mind, and people have generally positive views of him. Similarly, John and David, both traditional boy names, give people the impression of smarts. Both of those names also are associated with good looks and a country-club sort of style. The Bible's David certainly has a great story, and history is full of good Johns - John the Baptist, Pope John Paul, John F. Kennedy, and the list goes on.

If you are looking for other names that bring images of handsome men to mind, think of these selections: Victor, Drew, Dmitri, and Benjamin. These names have flavor, too. Anyone with any Eastern European or Russian lineage should give Dmitri a try. This name is exotic but not considered difficult or "foreign." People can spell it and say it, which helps your child in the early years. Dmitri has a number of variations, including Demitri.

Dante and Clinton are two boys' names that have shown some popularity in recent years, and people have generally good impressions of both names. Clinton, of course, gained in usage with the Presidency of Bill Clinton. This immensely likable U.S. figure is a perfect choice to name a regal child whose life is full of expectations.

Dante is a bit more versatile. First, there are multiple spellings, such as Dontay, Donte, and Dantae, among others. Second, the name is not one that is associated with anyone in particular. While many people will think of Dante’s Inferno, many people have not heard of the classic work. They are more likely to think of one of the number of sports figures with the name. Still, Dante implies a certain masculinity and surety that many parents wish to portray for their baby boys.

If you are looking for something to suggest rugged or strong, the experts suggest that you take Bronson and Douglas into consideration. Douglas works as a nickname-friendly name as well, but the full Douglas conveys a sense of strength and certainty that you may want to come to others' minds when they think of your little one. Bronson is a unique name. It suggests strong and tough but is not so macho that it relegates your son to a life of bullying. At the same time, Bronson is the perfect combination of different but not weird. A weird name can haunt your child. A different name will help others remember him after the 54 Andrews and Johns they have met.

Remember that the connotation of a name is not the only important factor to consider, but it can matter for your son that he has a name that will not make his classmates snicker. Try to avoid selecting names that give most people negative thoughts. Some names, such as Archibald, Elmo, or Horace give people icky thoughts, and you should consider that as well when you are picking the name your child will use for life. You do not want to force your child to overcome that hurdle. Also remember that a name must be workable for a child, teen, and adult as well as a baby. That is why you generally should avoid Jimmy as a legal name. While it is acceptable for a nickname, do your son a favor and name him James. He will thank you when he is an adult. Think carefully. Your baby must live with your decision for a lifetime.

By Julia Mercer

We took Jayden to see Santa Claus today against my better judgment. Here is a warning for parents: there is a Santa spoiler coming.

There, that is out of the way. I do not believe in lying to children the way many parents do indiscriminately. "We cannot afford that" when the truth is "I don't think you should get that." Or "We don't have time" when you just do not want to do something. I view Santa as along the same lines. I do not believe in telling my children that a magical creature brings their gifts. There are inherent problems in the Santa story, such as what to do when good children do not get gifts because of poverty. How do we explain Yuletide charity when Santa Claus is supposed to bring gifts.

This point is one of the few disagreements about parenting my husband and I have had. He grew up in a comfortable upper-middle class family while I had a more working-class up-bringing. He believed in the magic and beauty of childhood, and I saw more of the harsh realities of life. Still, he felt strongly about it, so I relented. Jayden can believe in Santa until he is four, and then we will tell him the ugly truth - Mom and Dad have to be able to afford it!

Still, taking a baby to see Santa is a little different because like many moments in my baby's life, Jayden does not understand what is going on. As far as he was concerned, it was a smorgasbord of babies today and a fun time at the mall playground when he was done with the Santa picture.

So, today was the day when we took him to the mall, the most evil creation of the twentieth century, to have his picture taken with Santa. After standing in line interminably, we got up to the front of the line. Jayden had a wonderful time laughing and babbling with the other older babies in the line, and the truth is that I enjoyed his excitement.

The excitement stopped when we neared the Red Guy, however. My husband took him up to Santa, and Jayden started crying. And not just crying, he was bawling. We both went and sat next to him. He was so precious. He would stop crying and start sniffling, then turn to look at Santa again and scream. He could not get over it. Even with me in his hands and his trusty bear Slumbers, he could not deal with Santa Claus. Babies are too young for psychological games, so there is no saying, "Santa's feelings will be hurt if you don't sit in his lap." And the truth is that Santa did not look like he cared one way or another. He seemed accustomed to babies screaming at the sight of him, which made me think that maybe being a mall Santa is not what it is cracked up to be.

While everyone in line stood and laughed at Jayden's outbursts at Santa, the elf snapped the picture, and we got in line to pay. Luckily for us, at least two other babies had meltdowns when they got by Jolly Old St. Nick, too, so I did not feel so bad. It was really funny to see Jayden as we were paying for the picture. He kept looking back and Santa, and his little lip would quiver again. Since the prices were outrageous and we did not want any wallet-sized Santa photos, key chains, or Christmas cards, we only had to wait for one picture to print. That is lucky for us because the baby behind us, who was about Jayden's age, was hysterical and hit Santa in the midst of her fear.

After we got out of Jayden's line of sight, we got out the picture and checked it out. We were both in it, so it is a nice family shot, but Jayden is adorable! You can tell that he was crying. His face is mostly faded pink, and he has one glistening tear underneath his left eye. Ah, the Santa picture will go in the scrapbook and become a wonderful story to tell my future daughter-in-law. My future daughter-in-law? I am so glad Jayden is still a baby. Maybe believing in Santa is not so bad after all.

By Brandi Rhoades

Most moms and dads want to keep some type of memento to remind them of what life was like when they were expecting the little one. If you are one of those moms or dads, one of the frightening things you will find is that you will be overcharged for these baby journals or scrapbooks. Many moms and dads are willing to overpay, but you don't have to be one of them! You can start your own baby journal.

To begin, you will need to purchase a nice quality journal at a local office supply store. Then you can begin by recording certain moments in your pregnancy. For posterity's sake, you should consider writing about how you met your partner and how the two of you got together. You also should explain how you found out about the pregnancy and what you thought about it.

There are other questions you can answer, too, that your child will have in later years. Here are a few of the questions you should consider for your baby journal.

What are your fears? Are you afraid of the pregnancy? The birth? The teen years? Write about them honestly so that your child can see, when he or she is old enough to understand, that you did not know everything when you were expecting.

What holidays did you celebrate while you were pregnant? Did you think about creating new traditions? Did your pregnancy change your normal holiday plans?

How did everyone else respond? What did the future grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins say? What did your friends have to say?

What advice did you get? Who told you?

How did you pick your doctor and hospital? What did you think of them? What choices did you have for childbirth? What did you select? Why?

Also keep in mind to write for your baby how you felt at various points in the pregnancy. Were you sick? Tired? Feeling fat?

Keep a record of your doctor's visits. How much did you weigh? What were your questions? What did you learn?

What do you hope to teach your baby? What qualities of yours and your partner do you hope your baby receives? Why? How do you hope your baby will be different from you?

What kind of advice do you have to give your baby about life?

What are some of your favorite quotations?

Who are the world's leaders? What are the most pressing current issues? List major events that happen during your pregnancy and how the world seems to be responding.

Where did you go on vacation? For a weekend trip? For a fun afternoon? What kinds of things did you do just for entertainment while you were pregnant?

How did the older siblings react? How did you tell them about the baby? What did you do to prepare them for the impending birth?

What is Mom's career? How did she decide to enter that field? What kind of education does she have? What are her plans for the future? Answer the same questions about Dad.

How did you break the news to family and friends? Who did you tell first? Why? How did you tell them? What did everyone have to say?

What parenting advice did you receive? What books did you read? What style of parent do you think you will be?

Where were you when you went into labor? What happened? How long did it take? What time was I born? What did you name me? How much did I weigh? How long was I?

These questions are just a sampling of the ones you can write about in your baby journal. You need the baby journal for yourself as well. One day, you will look back at these precious days in your life very fondly. You will want to remember the person you were right now, before you were a Mom or Dad, and this journal can be your way into that part of who you were. It also will be fun to see what you thought you would want to teach your child and what you wanted for him and her and what the reality was later. This is a wonderful time in your life. Preserve it for posterity.

By Julia Mercer

By Christina VanGinkel

Whether traveling by car, bus, train, or plane, what you pack in your carry-on or diaper bag can be the difference between traveling with an infant and keeping your sanity and wishing you had just stayed home.

Assemble everything you are going to need before placing the contents into the carry-on or diaper bag, to assess whether or not the bag you have is large enough, and if it has adequate storage compartments. A bag can be of an adequate, even substantial size, but if everything ends up dumped together, and you have to go digging for whatever your current need is, while holding a squirming, even possibly screaming infant, the bag might as well be empty. Either shop for a bag that has different compartments to keep everything organized, or invest in an internal organizer that you can use to keep everything neat and easily accessible.

Keep all of your travel or other pertinent documents in a waterproof bag, separate from the rest of the bag's contents, as a passport or an airline, train, or bus ticket that is soaked in formula or leaked on by wet wipes can be a travel nightmare. An outside pocket that has a separate zipper is ideal, as long as it is large enough that nothing important will end up folded or bent.

Pack any medicines that you or baby will need separate also, and quickly accessible, from the rest of the bag's contents, especially if they are items such as inhalers, or allergy medications that might be needed unexpectedly but quickly.

Next, pack the essentials, including:

Diapers
Toss bags, to dispose of diapers in an efficient and friendly manner. If you end up having to store a used diaper bag in the bag, these will help to contain the odor and mess.
Wipes
Lotion
Bottles, even for a breastfed infant, filled with juices, water, and a backup formula. The types that do not need refrigeration, and that can be fed as is are the most convenient. I would recommend feeding the same brand as you would normally, and if breastfeeding, try to acquaint baby with formula before travel, to be sure they any fed will not cause an allergic reaction or tummy trouble. If none of the pre-packaged formula is available where you normally shop, check with the service department to see if it is possible to order a one-time supply. They come in a bottle with an attached nipple that you just assemble when ready to use. This way you will not have to deal with refrigeration issues. If this is not possible, pre-fill bottles with water from home, and bring along powdered formula. Alternatively, use bottled water. Do not use water from a tap to feed an infant while traveling, as it is the quickest way to cause tummy troubles.
Several changes of clothes for baby, and a spare shirt for yourself
Blankets, a receiving blanket or two, and a regular infant blanket
Small toy or diversion for baby, preferably nothing to noisy that may disturb the driver or other occupants that are traveling nearby
A book or other diversion for yourself, as you never know, baby may sleep most of the way!

By Christina VanGinkel

Getting things free online is not always as on the house as it sounds. They want you to sign up for this, or to order that, or to give them the names of family and friends who you think might be interested in some archaic offer that they are running. Finding freebies online for babies though can be an exception. When my daughter was expecting my first grandchild just a few years ago, we were both so enamored with anything baby related at all, that we happily clicked away on numerous baby related links, and to our great surprise, she ended up receiving quite a few free and, here is the magical word, useful items!

Free subscriptions to several baby magazines, a free diaper bag with an assortment of trial products, free diaper samples, free lotions, creams, and even free onesies, and all for the asking. The freebies did not end there though; she also received several hundred dollars worth of coupons good towards the purchase of formula. These came in extremely handy when she attempted to switch from breast-feeding to bottle, and my grandson, sweet boy that he is, refused formula bottle after bottle, with his tummy being bothered by several of the brands that she was actually able to get him to swallow a few ounces. The coupons allowed her to sample the different choices available without it costing her a small fortune, and when she did finally discover a brand that he both liked and that he tolerated, she still had several coupons left for that particular brand for continued savings.

Where can you find these free offers if you or a loved one is expecting a child soon? Check out your favorite manufacturer's websites, as many of them provide free offers for nothing more than the asking. Some will ask you to sign up for a newsletter, but you often have the option to say no, and still receive the freebies. There are also sites online that offer links to free stuff, so check a few of these out too, but avoid those offers that want you to give up extreme amounts of information or sign up for other unwanted offers in order to qualify for the original free baby related offer. Online sites that offer coupons often have offers for baby goods and services too. Maybe it is because anyone that has had a baby, or knows someone that has one, understands just how unexpected the cost of that newborn can be, even for those parents who felt that they were ready and well equipped for the arrival.

A favorite freebie that my daughter enjoyed both while waiting for baby to arrive and long after his arrival, that provided tons of useful information, and was always a good read, was Baby Magazine. When she recently asked me if I could remember where we had found the free offer when she was expecting, so that she could sign up a friend of hers who is newly pregnant, I suggested she just do a search online for Free Baby magazine. Sure enough, she was able to pull up the offer, and several other magazines geared for expectant and new parents that were not available when she herself was expecting, within seconds. Her friend is now happily awaiting her first issues, and baby!

Even if your child is very young, you can begin now to teach the true meaning of Christmas. That's right, you can begin to lay the foundation for the values and the traditions that will head your little one down the path of understanding that it's more important to give than to receive and that the spirit of fellowship and brotherhood that we all crave is within their grasp.

The trick is to avoid having a gift-receiving orgy on Christmas Day. Take the focus off of the gift-unwrapping ritual and put it where it belongs-on giving of yourself to other people. One way to do this is to involve your children (and yes, even babies) in a new Christmas tradition. This Christmas, after the wrapping paper is ripped and the breakfast is eaten, take a few moments and go visit a nursing home. That's right, I said a nursing home. Never mind that the home where your Great Aunt Bessie lives is two hundred miles away. Visit the one that's right down the street from your house. You'll light up some lives when you do.

We've done this for years at our house. Around ten in the morning works well for us-the kids have opened their presents and had a chance to be excited about their new toys. We've had breakfast and cleaned up some of the mess. There are a few hours to spare before it's time to start cooking the big holiday dinner. We pack up in the car and drive across town to the nursing home and spend an hour or so walking around.

I always tell the kids that I hope the place is completely empty when we get there, because that would mean that each person is off with his or her family enjoying the holiday the way it was meant to be. But sure enough, when we unload from the car and get inside, there are still residents roaming the hallways and sitting around the lounges. Some are waiting for loved ones to pick them up later, but many have no one to celebrate with. These are the people that we've come to see.

When the girls were babies, we carried them right with us. The older residents lit up to match the Christmas trees when we brought the babies with us. Something about young children on Christmas Day gladdens the heart, and the residents were always very glad to see the girls. Sometimes I had to do a little creative interference when a grandmotherly sort wanted to hold the baby and I didn't trust that she was strong or capable enough, but for the most part, the folks were quite content just to watch the kids run around and say the occasional "Merry Christmas."

We walked through the hallways, dropped off unaddressed cards that the kids had made and signed, sang a few carols, and made a lot of people smile. It's such a small part of our day, but a huge celebration to the people who feel that they've been forgotten. It only takes a few short minutes to bring a smile to the faces of the residents, and the children and babies are a big part of that.

So give it some thought. Take your baby to the nursing home on Christmas Day. Even if you don't have a close friend or relative there, the people there will be desparately glad to see you and your children. If you've not done this before, call a day or two ahead of time to set your visit up with the administration. But go. Stay a while. You'll be very, very glad that you did, and you will be teaching your children to put some giving into their holiday. That lesson will last a lifetime.

Christmas seems to be made for babies! The glow of the tree, the twinkling lights, the sparkling decorations all seem to be designed to capture baby's attention and heart. Little ones squeal with glee at the sight of the glistening ornaments and they just love to see the brightly colored presents. Everything seems to be just right to catch your little one's attention and to make him or her smile.

And the holiday decor is absolutely full of hazards, too. Babies are at high risk of accidents during the Christmas season for lots of reasons. All of those beautiful decorations are tempting, but dangerous for baby to handle. The adults are often distracted with their busy-ness or their entertainment. Parents, care givers, and all adults who are around children this holiday season need to be extra cautious so that the happy holiday does not turn tragic. Here are some things to watch for.

Many decorations are very fragile. Older ornaments, in particular, are often made from glass and have toxic finishes. Our older ornaments are beautiful, and for many of us, they hold dear memories. We wouldn't dream of leaving them in their boxes! But for a baby or toddler, they can be deadly. Keep a close eye on your little one when around the tree or other Christmas decorations. Babies are always tempted to handle and mouth new items-that's how they learn. But you'll need to be extra cautious and make sure that your infant or toddler cannot get access to decorations that could be hazardous to his or her health. Tinsel and lights are other hazards to watch for, as well. The tinsel, especially the "icicles" that are really mylar strands, can pose quite a choking hazard if small hands find them. The lights are sometimes hot, and usually have dangling cords somewhere nearby. Don't let your child play with the swinging cord, put things into sockets or plugs, or touch the heated lights.

It's important to watch your baby around plants, too. The popular poinsettia is quite poisonous if ingested. These brightly colored flowers seem to be designed to attract the attention of babies and toddlers, though. The bright red flowers and high contrast with the green leaves make them especially appealing. Make sure that the beautiful plants are well out of baby's reach, and never, never leave your child unattended in a room with poinsettias. It's also harmful to eat too many pine needles. If you choose to use a live tree for your Christmas, make sure that you keep the sloughed needles cleaned up so your baby doesn't eat too many of them. Pine sap contains a number of harmful chemicals, and the shape of the needles themselves is quite irritating.

Those brightly colored packages pose their own set of hazards. It's best to use paper tissue to wrap presents, and steer clear of the strong, slender ribbons that can get wrapped around a baby's arm or leg. These tangle easily and can cut off circulation. Paper wrappings are generally digestible, but if your child consumes some of the shiny mylar wraps, you may need to see a doctor.

Many families leave candies out this time of the year. Make sure that your baby does not reach the candy dishes unsupervised. Too much chocolate or most any other kind of candy can give your child an upset stomach or even loose bowels. Small ch ildren may also accidentally ingest the wrappers.

And when we are in a cleaning frenzy, don't leave the buckets of water and cleaning supplies where baby might get into them. Infants have drowned in the buckets! Be sure to lock the cleaning supplies up so that your baby will not be at risk for poisoning.

Just a bit of extra added care will keep your baby safe and sound this holiday season. Never ever leave baby unattended, and your added care will pay off in spades. Baby will be safe and you will be able to enjoy the holiday with peace of mind.

'Tis the season to rush and hurry and shop, shop, shop! If you are the parent of a young child, chances are very good that you will be taking Baby shopping with you at least part of the time. Now, shopping with a little one can be grand fun. Your baby will see and hear things that are exciting and new and interesting, and that is generally a good thing. Shopping with baby is pleasant when baby is happy, isn't it?

But the trip can quickly turn into a nightmare if baby's mood sours. Suddenly you move from pushing a grinning, beaming, cute and cuddly child in your stroller to hauling a squalling infant and getting dirty looks from the other shoppers. I don't know about you, but I often felt like I was being silently accused of child abuse when my baby's mood turned foul on a shopping trip and she bawled ceaselessly out in public. I usually beat a hasty retreat if at all possible, and just gave up for the day. However, there were times when that just wasn't possible. I had to finish what I had come to do, whether the baby was crying or not.

So all in all, it's a much less stressful experience to shop when we can keep the baby happy. There are some practical steps that we can take to make such a pleasant excursion more likely. Now, nothing can guarantee perfection, and all of the tips in the world won't keep your baby happy on each and every outing. But if you follow these hints, you'll increase your chances of a quiet trip considerably.

First of all, the secret is in the planning. Plan your trip for the time of day when your baby is most alert and interested in the world around. If baby has his best moments in the morning, then that's the time to shop. If she is ready to play and have fun in the evening, take her out then. Avoid trying to shop over naptimes and past bedtime. You are quite likely to precipitate a noisy response from your little one, because there is very little room between happy and playful baby and overtired, cranky baby. Respect the meal times and the snack times, as well. Remember that your little darling is just that: little. Babies really do need to take on food and water far more frequently than even older children. Their systems just can't handle enough to let them go for hours and hours without food. The younger your child is, the more carefully you will need to adhere to the usual sleep and food schedule.

Make sure that you've packed all that you will need to see to baby's comfort while you are shopping, too. Strollers are nice if you're moving around a big store. You may want to consider a special baby safety belt for shopping cards: we had one that was about eight inches wide and helped the inexperienced sitter to stay upright in the cart and so be able to see and participate much more easily. Take an adequate supply of diapers, wipes, snacks, bottles, and even a change of clothing. It really is true that as soon as you go unprepared, that's when these sorts of accidents will happen.

Take some toys, too. All but the youngest infants can be distracted from any fleeting discomfort by a bright or interesting toy. Older children might like books, rattles, or other favorites. Toys can be fun especially in the car seat as you go from store to store.

Make a habit of not giving in to your baby's every whim. Once they learn to communicate their desire for something, whether they can talk or not, babies will let you know in no uncertain terms that they want THAT. If you set the precedent early on that whining, yelling, grabbing, and other methods do nothing to convince you to give in, then they will stop using those methods. Instead, you can set up a situation where your child can earn a treat in exchange for exemplary behavior.

Keep your trip short and sweet as possible. Yes, I know it can be more convenient to head out for a marathon shopping session and get it all over with, but that may not be in your child's best interests. You will also want to watch how many strangers get how close to your baby. Many very young children find this to be highly stressful and will protest when their anxiety level gets too high. Yes, it's grand fun to have complete strangers ooing and ahing over your precious bundle, but your baby may not agree.

Follow your common sense and these simple ideas, and I'm sure that you and baby will have many successful shopping trips in the years to come. And hang in there! It won't be long before your cranky toddler turns into a teenager who loves to shop!

By Christina VanGinkel

Traveling with a young child in a car, plane, or train can be a trip all by itself, pun totally intended! At no other time that I can think of should you be prepared as much as you can beforehand. With the holidays upon us, travel with kids is almost a given for many of us, and no matter how many times we have done it in the past, we often dread it the next time we have to do it. Preparation is the vital key to surviving travel with an infant, toddler, or older child.

Put only your own personal basics in your purse, and leave the rest of the space for items that you will need to grab quickly. This rule stands even if your child is young enough that you have a diaper bag for them. A diaper bag is not always easily at reach, your purse usually is. You should toss in a travel pack of wipes, a small bottle of lotion, Chap Stick, and some small, but amazing toy. You know the type, something you may not normally buy because of the price, but the kids always ask for. They oftentimes are throwbacks from when we were kids, and have been turned into key chains. You can usually find them in checkout lines, as I said before, highly overpriced, but with major kid appeal. Some of my favorites include silly putty, mini Etch-a-Sketches, and doodle-boards.

If your child is too young for one of these, exchange the toy for a few items such as a brand new pacifier, formally referred to in our house as a Nuk, and a noisy, yes noisy, baby toy. The key being that it will be something that will actually engage the infant in play. Think of it this way, would you rather listen to the noise of a small toy in an enclosed space such as a car, or to the sounds of a toy as it engages your child in giggles and smiles.

If you will be traveling a long distance, and you have always said that you would never buy any of the new electronic gadgets, such as a personal DVD player, or one of the new hand-held game systems, now might be the time to break that rule. These are all great ways to keep kids occupied, both young and old alike. Games are available in a variety of genres, and they are not all violent. Many favorite cartoon characters even have games intended as learning devices. If you have more than one child, be sure to look at systems with dual screens, and let the kids pick some of their own favorites to bring along. Remember that an occupied child is usually quieter than a bored one!

Even the electronic wonders will need a break though, so be prepared to sing some silly songs, play a few games of I Spy, and other travel games that require nothing more than a bit of imagination. A favorite of ours is the Description game. The player up has to give a description of something, without using any part of its name. The first player to guess what they are describing gets a point. Play to any point level, or do not even keep track, just enjoy the talking. Lastly, remember that no matter how prepared you are when traveling with kids, the unexpected is likely to occur.

By Christina VanGinkel

Having a party, at any time of the year, which is going to include children, can be a task if it will mainly be a get together for adults. Toss in the holidays for good measure, and you end up with children who are often wired beyond comprehension, what with all the extra curricular activities taking place during this time of the year. You will want to keep your youngest guests happy though, and have them enjoy their time, yet not be so disruptive to the adults in attendance that the adults will be wishing they left their young charges at home, or did not come at all. Avoid this whole scenario by planning a few extras for the kids to help keep everyone happy and in a celebratory mood.

Food and Drinks

Make sure that if serving food, and what party does not at least include drinks and snacks, that you have a separate, kid friendly place for them to eat, drink, and be merry. If the adult foods may not be the children's liking, be sure to have a separate menu of foods that they will enjoy. The best part is that children most often like simple foods, so the simpler the better. Fresh fruit chunks with cool whip dip is always a kid pleaser, as are tiny sausages, pickles, olives, and rolled lunch meats. Add in a few types of cheese and an assortment of crackers, a bowl of pretzels and some kid friendly dips and vegetable sticks, and you may not hear from them until the end of the evening. Provide them with their own assortment of sodas or juices, and child friendly glassware and dishes, and you will be covering all the food and drinks bases that you could. One lesson I have earned the hard way that I would like to pass along is to avoid serving anything that has the color red in it, be it spaghetti, red soda or juice, or even red Jell-O. Kids seem to think that this color means to smear it all over the place. Why tempt them in the first place is my motto when it comes to this!

Entertainment

Be sure to supply some type of child friendly, and safe, entertainment. Hire a Santa or a few elves for the evening, set up a television and DVD player to play Rudolf and Frosty. If the kids are a bit older, have some games handy that they can enjoy. If you have a wide age range of kids, set up some friendly games such as cotton ball toss, where they have to toss cotton balls into a bucket at a set distance, making it closer for the little ones, and provide some simple prizes that each child can take home, making sure everyone goes home a winner.

Caregiver

Pay a neighborhood teen, or an older child of your own, (Two is always better) to keep control in this kid friendly area. Provide them with a bag of entertainment to keep the party rolling, such as cards, small hand games, a few picture books, etc. Pay them on commission, telling them that the less bothered the adults are, the more they will earn. Happy Holidays everyone!

One of the toughest things about having young children in the house is the sleep deprivation. Adults were meant to sleep for long, uninterrupted periods each and every night. The older we get, the more important this becomes. However, put a baby into the household, and watch the sleep time unravel.

Babies are on a whole different time table all together. Their physical immaturity means that at first they need to be fed and changed every two to four hours. That means that SOMEONE has to get up out of bed to take care of those tasks. We parents hold up fairly well at first. We love the little bundles, and we want what's best for them. We gladly get up in the middle of the night to tend to their needs.

But after a few weeks, and usually before baby has grown enough to learn to sleep through the night, our stamina begins to break down. We start to feel tired and cranky, and it becomes really difficult to keep up with day to day tasks that need to be accomplished. Here are some tips that may help at your house.

First of all, sleep when baby sleeps. Make sleep your priority. When the baby lays down for one of those nap periods that are scattered through the day, resist the temptation to do the laundry or try to catch up on the dishes. The chores will wait! Sleep! You will find that you will become quite proficient at taking short cat naps, and they really do help. When my girls were little, I developed the habit of napping during the day, and found that these naps were full of dreams. Sleep scientists know that we sleep in many cycles and that the dreaming phase of sleep is really important to feeling rested. Don't be surprised if your naps are loaded with dreams.

Take chances to rest, too. I mean really rest. Put your feet up or lie down when your baby is happily cooing in the baby seat or somewhere else that is safe. This lessens the physical strain on your body and makes those quiet moments count for more rest.

If you have a reliable sitter or spouse who is up to the job, let them do the baby care one or two nights per week. You'll find that even a few uninterrupted nights of rest will work wonders for your body. My husband and I arranged that I would do the nighttime care during the week, when he had to be up at a certain time for work. On Friday and Saturday nights, he got up with the little ones and I rolled over and went back to sleep. This arrangement worked very well for our family. If you are on your own, or if your spouse cannot help out in this way, you may want to consider grandparents, your siblings, or even hiring a babysitter. And if nighttime isn't workable, see if you can get help for a few hours during the day a few times each week and use that time to catch up on your sleep.

By now, I'm sure you've figured out just how important all this sleep can be. Without proper rest, it becomes very difficult to do your job as a parent. Not only do you get short-tempered with your family, you also start to make mistakes and miss things that are important because your thinking skills suffer when you are sleep deprived. Find a way to fix the problem. Don't allow your baby to suffer because you aren't getting enough sleep. You have options! Use them!

When my first-born child got near to her first Christmas, she was about seven months old. Oh great, I thought. How in the world am I going to keep her from grabbing all of the ornaments off of the Christmas tree? Worse yet, I could picture her breaking the fragile ornaments or hurting herself by eating the needles from the live pine tree. It was a dilemma! My husband and I thought and thought. He suggested that we forego the tree that year. Now that is absolute sacrilege and completely unthinkable. My Christmas tree is very important to me, and I figured I'd just have to redouble my efforts to keep the baby in check.

We kept her in her high chair to watch the household tree-decorating ceremony. She oo'd and aw'd over the colorful ornaments. We even let her hold some that were durable enough to survive mauling by seven-month old hands and safe to put into her mouth. And when we plugged the lights in, her eyes got big just the way I had imagined that they would.

And then the fun began. The tree was very attractive to my little girl. I couldn't turn my back on her, even for an instant. She wasn't very fast at that age, and moved around mostly by rolling and scooting at her unsuspecting targets. But that tree was so interesting to her and so exciting that she seemed to scoot towards it like lightning even while I watched. It's amazing how fast babies can move when they are motivated, isn't it?

This went on for a week or so. I was nearing my wit's end, and just about ready to throw in the proverbial towel. Maybe she just couldn't be in the living room with the tree after all. Maybe I had seriously overestimated my own patience with the process and grossly underestimated her persistence and desire to get at that tree. I swear that she found ways to scoot faster than ever before, and each time I put her on the floor in that room, she made a beeline for the tree. I retrieved her, distracted her, turned her around, and in moments she was right back headed for trouble. I suppose I should've been impressed with her stick-to-it-iveness or overjoyed by her motivation. I wasn't. I was flummoxed and completely stymied as to how to solve the problem. Sad to say, the seven month old child was actually outwitting her mother, rather handily.

Then inspiration struck. When we had put up the tree, we had taken down the playpen to make some extra room. The child rarely used it anyway, and mostly it was turning into a giant toy box. Her father and I hadn't thought a thing about it. We just moved it aside, folded, to be retrieved after the holiday if we felt we needed it.

That playpen actually saved my tree that year. Instead of putting the child in the playpen, we reasoned, what if the TREE went in instead? The playpen that we used was one of those fence affairs that stand freely on the floor. We opened it up and propped it on the corners of the walls around the base of the tree. It made a very nice barrier, allowing baby to look to her heart's content, but not to touch or hurt herself or the tree. And the tree didn't cry and yell when left in the playpen, either. I didn't feel one bit guilty about leaving the tree in the playpen for hours at a time, or even days at a time. My baby was free to roam the room and explore the way that babies should be, and the tree was safe too.

We always take pictures of the tree each year. Since there are three girls with a total of five years between their birthdays, the tree lived in the playpen for about six years running. Each and every year while the girls were little, the Christmas picture shows that silly playpen fence standing guard around the twinkling Christmas tree. Each girl in turn oo'd and ah'd over the sparkle, and each in turn reached for the pretty colors.....and stayed on her own side of the fence.

We don't need the fence anymore, since the girls are in their teens (though I'm tempted at times!). But I suspect that when the grandchildren come along here in ten or twenty years (optimistic, aren't I?), that each of them will have a tree in a playpen at some point, too. It's a sanity-saver that's well worth passing around.

The youngest family members sometimes want to get in on the action like older children. At holiday time, you may well find your young child wishing to make a decoration just like the big kids. This craft activity is suitable for even the youngest toddler. It's inexpensive and easy, and it can be done over and over again if you wish. All you need is an old Christmas cookie cutter and some paper, as well as some crayons, markers or paints and paint brushes.

Choose a cookie cutter that does not have a closed top. The cutter should just be the outline of the shape. Make sure that it's fairly sturdy, too. A plastic cutter or a heavy metal one will work best. You may also wish to choose a cutter with a broad, open shape. A bell, a Christmas tree, snowman or a gingerbread house should work well. Steer clear of shapes that are intricate, with lots of small parts, like reindeer, candles, or stars. These shapes have too much detail in general, and the narrow portions will make the craft too difficult for a young child to enjoy.

Position the cutter on a piece of paper so that there is nothing but paper under it. Do not allow the cookie cutter to hang over the edge of the page. An adult will likely need to hold the cutter in place for the child, but older toddlers and preschoolers may be able to hold it with one hand and work with the other. Give the child a crayon, marker, or paintbrush dipped in paint. Most children will want to choose their own colors for this project, so be sure to arrange for the child to have input into the color selection.

Have the young artist color inside of the cookie cutter! Very young children will simply make a few marks and be done. Older children will work to cover the paper within the cutter's borders with color. Accept whatever effort your child wants to put into the project. After all, much of the fun is in the process of making these things. The emphasis should be on the fun of making and doing rather than on the appearance of the finished product.

When your baby indicates that he or she is finished coloring, keep the cookie cutter in place for just a few more minutes. Use a black crayon or a black marker and trace around the inside of the cookie cutter. This will create a wonderful outline effect that will give the picture form and substance, no matter what kind of coloring was done by the child.

When you lift up the cookie cutter, the tree, bell, or whatever will seem to magically appear on the paper. Young children will have difficulty even grasping that they created this treasure! You will probably find that your child will be pleased with his or her efforts, and will crow, "Again!" And you will know at that point that the craft has accomplished its purpose. Your child's self-esteem has grown a notch, along with feelings of success and accomplishment.

A few quick snips of the scissors will allow you to display this decoration wherever you'd like. Punch a hole in the top and add a yarn loop for a cute Christmas tree ornament. Hang the masterpiece up on the refrigerator. Tape it to the wall. Wherever you display it, be sure to show your child how very proud you are of their work. It means a lot to your children, and will be a pleasant memory for a long time to come.

By Christina VanGinkel

With parents today, being stretched this way and that, jobs on one end, children on the other, and spouses, families, volunteer work, social activities and more stretching them in every other possible direction; it is easy to become overwhelmed. You may start questioning yourself on why you ever wanted kids in the first place, and start to wonder what you have gotten yourself into. Those that are usually on the losing end are the parents themselves and their immediate family members, especially the children, when a mood such as this strikes. The easiest way to bring at least a temporary halt to the madness is to call a time out! Grab your kids (They are the most willing participants in such a display of thumbing one's nose at the normal goings on of a typical day as you will ever find, so they are also the quickest way to remind yourself exactly why you did choose to have them!) and have a day of doing whatever it is that you want to do. If you honestly cannot spare a whole day, then take an hour or two, as that is better than no time at all! There are no rules to follow is this bit of organized madness, except to keep it simple.

If it is winter, bundle up, head outside, and make a snowman or snow angels, have a snowball toss, go sledding, lay on your backs and look at the stars if its evening! If it is summer, grab your gear and head to the lake, swim, fish, take a hike, have a picnic. If you are protesting that you are not the outdoor type then pull out some board games, dust them off and play a few rounds. If no board games exist in your house, then play tic-tac-toe, I Spy, or some other simple game. Grab a pack of colored pencils or have your kids go get their crayons and color. There is nothing like coloring with a child to get you mind back to normal, to relax, to help you remember exactly why it was you wanted these children in the first place!

Alternatively, choose to do something you would normally not have the time to do such as head to a museum, go to lunch at a fancy restaurant, or grab a book and take the kids to the park. Let them run around and burn off energy while you take no notice other than to be sure they are safe, then read a book or magazine, though nothing that requires you to think too much. Remember the one rule and keep it simple!

Some other ideas, if all you do is draw blanks (which is normal when stressed and overworked!):

Blow bubbles
Read a book together
Run under the sprinkler
Build a mud castle
Pick some rocks and paint on them
Pick some wild flowers and bring them to a shut in
Do a craft together
Have a tea party
Bake cookies, (the pre-made ones, remembering to keep it simple!)
Sit and watch the clouds go by

If you have a baby or a young child in the house, you may want to consider starting a new Christmas tradition this year. We've been doing this in our family for years now, and the benefits have been enormous, considering how little time and energy goes into it. There aren't too many quick, easy and cheap activities that provide such a high return for your investment. It's simple! Make a tradition of getting a brand new Christmas ornament for each child every season.

When the babies were born, we started their personal ornament collections with the special ornament that had the year of their birth and said "Baby's First Christmas." That one is always hung in a place of honor. Each and every year thereafter, each child has been allowed to choose and purchase one new ornament to add to the collection. We've also added some homemade treasures made with loving hands by grandparents, family and friends. Many of the ornaments are souvenirs from special trips or commemorations of other moments. Each child also has a few ornaments that celebrate her special talents and hobbies. There's a tennis ornament and a math ornament, several soccer ornaments and a number of different musical instruments. Decorations that the kids have made in school and in Sunday School, as well as presents from teachers and Scout leaders round out the collection.

The ornaments are kept in special boxes, one for each child. Each year, at tree-decorating time, they are lovingly trotted out, cataloged, and hung on the tree. Each one brings a special memory or fondness, and the simple ritual of unpacking them and hanging them up is very warm and heartfelt. The kids reminisce about their early years and the fun they've had. The ornaments made by grandma have a special place in their hearts and on the tree.

One wonderful benefit of this tradition is happening before my very eyes, now that my first child is getting ready to launch her own life. She has a box of meaningful ornaments to take with her when she goes. She will take a small piece of her childhood with her and put it up on her own tree someday. She's ever so happy that we've done this with her, and thinks that it will help smooth the transition from childhood to adulthood.

Each year, the personal boxes of ornaments get trotted out from their basement home. Each child has always known exactly which box is hers. They open the lids at the same time, and ooh and aah over their treasures once more. They all hang their own ornaments on the tree before they start on the "family" collection, getting to place them just so. Sometimes there's a bit of a disagreement about who gets the "good" branches, but usually it all works out just fine. Then at the end of the holiday season, the collections are lovingly packed up once more, with a great deal of newspaper and Kleenex padding, so that they will be ready for the following year.

Traditions like this one are very important. They build the warmth and memories that make holiday seasons so wonderful. Happy memories with family and friends will keep your child's spirits warm and provide strength and support during difficult times. They can insulate your child from some of life's rough spots, and I feel they are very important. I really feel that we owe it to our children to stoke those fires just as much as we possibly can.