There is an unspoken (or sometimes spoken) rule that it is not appropriate to throw a baby shower for a second time mother-- the rational being that the mom-to-be already has all of the essentials: the crib, the changing table, the stroller, the baby monitor, the Diaper Genie.
Nowadays, all of the old rules are out the window. There are plenty of good reasons to throw a baby shower for your friend-- whether it's her first baby or her fifth baby. Perhaps there is a big gap in the ages of her children-- in that case, many of her previous baby items may be outdated. Or perhaps she had a boy the first time around and this time she's expecting a girl. Or maybe you just want to throw your friend a shower for the simple reason that you love her and you want to do something nice for her. Whatever the reason, there are a few things to think about when you are throwing a baby shower for a second time mommy.
-- Gift ideas. You many not have a baby register to rely on for gift ideas. Most first time mom's register for the items that they need at their favorite baby store. If your second time mom doesn't have a baby registry, you may have trouble coming up with gift ideas. But there are a few things that every new mother needs: diapers, onesies, hooded towels, or any of the newest latest and greatest baby gadgets (there is always new stuff coming out-- in fact, one of the best baby shower gifts I received was a pacifier thermometer!). Some of my favorite gift ideas include books for the newborn's library (some great titles include "The Twelve Gifts of Birth" by Charlene Costanzo and "I Love You as Much" by Laura Krauss Melmed). Another gift idea is a beautiful piggy bank for the new baby. You can offer to have the bank personalized after the baby is born with his or her name and birth information. Don't know the sex of the baby? Hello unisex baby items! Check your favorite department store or children's specialty store for unisex baby clothing. Most unisex clothing is ether green, yellow or white so it's suitable for either a boy or a girl. Baby Gap and The Children's Place have adorable unisex baby clothes. If you do know the baby's sex, then it's much easier-- any new mom loves to get brand new baby clothes. Another popular gift item is baby shower diaper cakes, which is really a cake-shaped gift basket filled with essentials for the newborn baby. You can also opt to get something special for the expectant mother -- a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure is always a special treat for a mom-to-be.
--Baby shower cake ideas. The baby shower cake is very important! You can opt to make one yourself or order one from a bakery. Check out your favorite grocery store to see if they offer unique baby shower cakes (a store near me makes a cake shaped like a baby bootie). Make sure you think of a good inscription for the cake. Some popular quotes include " Pink or Blue We love You" or "Bye Bye Tummy Hello mommy". If those are too "cutesy" for you, a simple "Congratulations or "Best wishes" with the mom-to-be's name on it will suffice.
-- Remember, it's easier to surprise a second time mom. Let's face it-- although they would never admit it, most first time mothers expect that someone will throw them a baby shower. For that second time mommy, you can try to really surprise her. Consider inviting her to lunch and having the shower at the restaurant. If that's too expensive, have the shower at a friend's house and have everyone make or bring something. The best baby shower fare is light finger foods like mini quiches, tea sandwiches and other types of appetizers. Make some non-alcoholic punch and you're good to go.
-- Try to delegate some of the expenses and responsibilities. Throwing a party can be expensive, so don't try to do it all yourself. Put someone in charge of decorations, someone in charge of paper goods and ask for help with the food. To cut costs, make the invitations and baby shower favors yourself. Your friend will appreciate all of the hard work and love that you put into her shower.