Sunday, April 30, 2006

New Baby

We are considering having another baby. We had a scare a couple of months ago when we thought we may have gotten pregnant accidentally. As it turns out, we did not, but it got us thinking that maybe another baby right now would not be such a bad idea. Our little man is 15 months old now, and he is technically a toddler. With him growing up so quickly, it seems natural to want a baby to add to the family once again.

We are thinking that this summer will be the perfect time to start trying to add a new baby to the family. The baby would be born next spring, which would be a great time to have a new baby. I do not want to be pregnant in the hot and sticky summer months, particularly since we are planning to move to North Carolina next summer. There is no way I want to be pregnant and trying to move a family.

At any rate, I find that this time around, I have more trepidation than I did the first time. I think that is because things did not go as planned with my son. I had problems in labor that ended up in an emergency c-section and a baby who was not getting enough oxygen. I had complications from an accidental cut on one of my arteries, and I lost a fair amount of blood. With all of that, I am a little cautious this time around.

I have an appointment with my regular doctor this Friday. I am going to ask her opinion about any upcoming pregnancy to see if I get the go-ahead from her. I had blood pressure problems as well, and I would like to know how serious of a threat those problems will be if we try again. I am not willing to risk my own life to have another baby, so if it looks like the risk is too much, then we will go forward with adoption.

A new baby would be a big change for my little guy. He is the center of the universe right now, as all little ones should be. He believes that everything revolves around him. Well, in his world, it does. A new baby, though, would mean sharing the spotlight with someone who is less capable than he. A baby would need Mommy and Daddy to do everything for him or her, and we will have to prepare our toddler for that.

I have started by introducing him to life-like dolls. I thought that was a good way to get an idea of how he acts. I put a baby-sized doll in his arms yesterday while we were shopping. He was so precious! He smiled down at the baby and petted it the way he does our cats. I was so happy he seemed to take to the doll and really mother it. Of course, then he tried to poke its eyes, but we can work on that before the baby gets here.

I think it is important to prepare our toddler for the new addition before it gets here. I know that dolls will not do the trick by themselves, but I am hoping that we will be able to introduce our son slowly to the idea of nurturing another being.

We likely will opt for the big brother routine. You are the big brother, and you are such an excellent helper will be our mantra when the new baby comes. We want to work hard to make our toddler still feel important and loved even with a new baby. I have promised myself that we will make special time for him to have with Mommy and Daddy alone so that he still will feel loved and appreciated.

Having another baby brings up so many questions that we do not consider with only one child. How many of the toys are communal? How do you referee fights without picking sides? What is the best way to prepare for two college funds? We have those questions and more, but we are ready to begin thinking about them. I hope that we have success early in our quest for another little bundle.

By Julia Mercer

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