I went to the doctor last week to find out about whether or not it will be safe for us to have another baby. My first pregnancy was wonderful. I felt great the entire time. I did not have any morning sickness, and I felt beautiful the entire time.
Labor and delivery, however, was a different story. I actually found that the labor part was okay. I kept repeating, this too shall pass, to myself every time I had a powerful contraction. That mantra kept me going and reminded me that at the end of this painful journey, I would get to see my child.
Then labor stopped. Nothing was happening. My contractions stayed the same, and I was not dilating. That is where things started to go haywire. My body began to fight against the baby. Then the baby got turned the wrong way. He was turned sideways and facing downward and there was no way he could get out.
My doctor could not be found, and I still have no idea where she was. When they finally found her by calling the office and demanding that they send another doctor, I had to have a c-section. I had not wanted a c-section and in fact was very upset that I had to have one. I called my mother, who worked as an obstetrics nurse for five years and asked her. She said that a c-section was my only choice, and I needed to do it quickly.
So they opened me up and could not get my baby out. He had been in the birth canal so long that he was suctioned against it and was not breathing properly. His breathing was dropping, and I was losing more blood than I should have. As it turns out the resident doing my surgery cut one of my arteries by mistake, and they had to clamp it off to get the bleeding to stop. Meanwhile my baby was fighting to stay alive.
In the end they got him, but it left me terrified of having another baby. Plus I have had so many complications since my son was born that it is sad to think about the whole mess. So the point is that I wanted my new doctor to tell me whether or not she thought we could have another baby.
I must admit that I was not prepared for what I heard. My blood pressure is down, and most of my other medical problems are under control. I am safe there. The problem is my weight. It has crept up slowly with all of the medications I have been taking and the fact that I have not been able to work out with all of the medical problems I have had.
So now I am faced with a dilemma. My husband and I want another baby, but we know that I need to lose a significant amount of weight to do so safely. I have always felt very strongly opposed to putting myself at great risk to have a baby, and I still feel that way today. Instead I have decided to heed what my doctor advised and lose weight before we begin trying to have a new one.
I need to lose at least 35 pounds to put me back to where I was when I got pregnant with my son. I also promised my doctor that I would begin a walking regime and walk at least three times a week. I am determined to keep that promise, not for my doctor but for myself. I want to be healthy when I try to have another baby.
So now my husband and I have spent the past few days thinking about our situation and how to handle it. We have committed ourselves to a new lifestyle that will help get my health to where it needs to be. I am excited for the changes, and the thought of a new baby in the future makes it more enjoyable to make the changes. A new baby adds so much joy that a few sacrifices now, sacrifices which in the end will be healthy for me, are definitely worth it.