Dealing with unwanted advice happens to be one of the few downsides to pregnancy in general. It comes right along with morning sickness, back aches and the big belly. For some reason it seems that as soon as people here that you are about to embark on the adventure of motherhood that everyone around you becomes an expert when it comes to children and pregnancy.
You can be walking through the grocery store and people will just see you and notice you are pregnant and throw in their two cents. Not only do you get advice like " Do not pick that up, it is too heavy!", even when it barely weighs a thing but you also get to hear everyone's different version of old wives tales. People will tell you that if you are carrying low that you are definitely carrying a boy and then someone else will turn around and say that if you are carrying low then it is most definitely a girl.
I even had a woman that has never even had any children before tell me that because of the way I was carrying and the fact that my belly button had turned into an outtie that I was carrying a girl. When I told her that I was having a boy she felt sure that the ultrasound must have been wrong. There is nothing more nerve grating than having people who know relatively nothing about pregnancy trying to tell you how to take care of yourself, what not to eat and even trying to convince you that everything that your doctor tells you is not quite as smart as what they have to say.
I myself being a first time mom did not know a thing about babies or being pregnant, so when I found out that I was the first thing my husband and I did was go out and buy a couple of books to help us on the way. It was a good thing that I did or else the what seems like hundreds of women who have offered me advice would have surely scared the crap out of me by now. Any pregnant woman who has done any kind of research while they are pregnant know without a doubt that no one rule applies to all pregnant women. Each and every woman's pregnancies is different from another.
Some will suffer some symptoms that will not ever be a problem for another woman. Some women will carry a boy low and some will carry him high and vice versa with a girl. Spicy food may give some very bad heart burn and for others it will be the same amount of heart burn that they get when they eat anything in general. Saltine crackers or toast are not a all around cure for a queasy stomach, they may actually make you feel even sicker. Drinking a little bit of caffeine will not be the death of your baby, doctors just recommend not taking in excessive amounts everyday.
You are allowed to die your hair when you are pregnant, they just suggest that you do not because of hormones it may actually turn a totally different color than what you were going for. Same goes for perms, they probably will not hurt you but you may be spending money on something that will not take. Hair is very finicky when you are pregnant.
Walking around on a day to day basis is not bad for you. I can not tell you how many time I had people tell me when I was at work that I needed to go sit down. Apparently pregnant women are not aloud to stay on their feet for more than two minutes at a time or they are putting their babies at risk. As long as you are in a low risk pregnancy and your doctor does not tell you other wise almost everything that you did on a daily basis before you got pregnant is actually still okay for you to do while you are pregnant. Just do not over work yourself but do not let other people be the decision maker on that front. We know how our bodies feel a lot better than everyone around us and we are not incapable of making our own knowledged decisions.
On a closing note I just want to say that if you are in a first time pregnancy and you do not know much more than I did, make the investment in a pregnancy book. It will totally be worth it. I suggest What to Expect When You're Expecting, it completely saved me. Also, do not be afraid to ask your doctor questions, there are no stupid questions. Make your doctor and your book your two very best friends and whenever someone offer advice that is unneeded and unnecessary just try to tune them out.
By Crystal Bowden