Monday, November 06, 2006

Teaching Your Child Self Esteem

Teachers see it in the classroom and in the playground every single day. Sometimes a few of the kids with a lot of self esteem become bullies and pick on the kids that have little or no self esteem. It is our duties as parents to raise kids that have a healthy amount of self esteem.

Just what exactly is self esteem and what does it mean to us? Self esteem is the way that we view ourselves, how we feel about ourselves (like having good feelings about ourselves and our abilities) and how we think that others see us. Low self esteem happens when we tend to view ourselves in a negative light, we tend to over criticize ourselves, try to be the super person we think we should be (and fail), we think that we do not deserve special things, that everyone is better at any given task than we are, we try to embody someone else or try to always please others and not take care of ourselves. High self esteem is just the opposite of low self esteem. This happens when we look too favourably upon our selves, we are happy with our accomplishments and we are satisfied with our life and we think that everyone is not quite as good as we are. That we are all that.

Here are a few things to look for in a child to see if they have problems with low self esteem.
-does your child tend to daydream or wish they were someone else and that their life was different?
-is your child always running themselves down, saying that they are not good at whatever and they will never be?
-does your child shrink away from attention (good or bad)?
-is your child quite undeceive? Does she not have much faith in her judgement?
-does your child doubt his abilities? Does he shrink away from challenges?
-is she highly uncomfortable in new situations?
-does your child tend not to assert himself and does he tend to be submissive when pushed?

Low self esteem can cause depression, unhappiness, insecurity and result in very little self confidence. But this can be eradicated by a few simple steps (or at least beaten down to something more manageable)
-gently help your children face their fears. Everyone of us has monsters in our closets
-learn from past mistakes. This is important!!
-encourage your children to go after their dreams. Once you realize them go and get them. They deserve for them to happen!
-reward your children when they succeed and if they do not, try not to belittle them. Ask them if they tried their best and if they did, that is good
-encourage your children. It is sometimes hard not to be defeated. But encourage them to read biographies and learn to look at famous inventors, chances are they did not get what they were after on the first try either Thomas Edison tried for several years to perfect even one of his inventions). Be a cheerleader for your child and encourage them not to give up, but to keep on trying!
-remember self confidence can be a learned behaviour and it is never too late to learn it!
-action instead of worrying about something (what will worrying about it solve?) is a good thing to point out to your children (especially if it is something that your child cannot control (for instance, my child worries about fires)
-help them to develop an optimistic attitude and teach them to view life in light of the glass half full.
-show your children how to use visualization to help them accomplish their goals. (if they have a speech to give, help them to visualize themselves up in front of the class, saying their speech perfectly).
-read inspiring books and stories. They can help realize and see how other people defeated problems and issues in their lives. There are good stories for kids that they can read. How about Anne Frank and her life or Helen Keller, did she just sit back and do nothing because of her disabilities? No! She turned them into abilities and even graduated from college!

Women tend to be more sensitive to others needs and more aware of how changes might make things better for someone else. We tend to over analyze (how often have you gone over a conversation in your head, wondering what the person really meant?) But the more self esteem you have, the more confident you are and people are drawn to confident people and this is what we need to teach our children.

1 comment:

txdave said...

What an interesting blog you have.

You may find useful an article in my blog today on building self-confidence in children.

http://assertivenesssucceeds.blogspot.com

thnks for checking it out dave