BabyLoving.com

The life of a parent is exciting, if not, totally nerve-racking. A man-child is born to a couple of people who, until that moment, assumed that they knew exactly where life was going to lead them. The spontaneity of life is a double-edged sword, as it were. Not only is life's unpredictability wildly attractive for this reason, but it is, also, its biggest downfall.
When a child is created by God, and lands into the hands of some young people, it is a time to celebrate, and revel in the moment. Pure innocence, sent directly from the hands of his or her Creator, life almost seems to start over, and a chance to improve the world has just been realized... once you can get past the grind.

You come home from a long day at the office, field, courthouse, job site, et cetera, and your expectant wife is not expectant, except for a half an hour to herself. In hasty fashion, a baby is handed to you, and you have to play, entertain, or at least maintain, this ball of emotions until she returns. Your dinner, which used to be prepared by the time of your return, has not even been schemed yet, and, when you finally... FINALLY, fall asleep, only to kicked, head-long, into the all-night cry fiesta.

On top of all this, you are the father of this... child. You feel exhausted, yet there is a urge of duty beating on your chest. Why do you get up with the child? Your wife, or in today's terms, your child's mother, has just spent all day with this person, with no adult conversation, profuse, and seemingly inane sobbing, having the kid drain precious fluids from their chest, and little, if any, rest.

Being the man of the house, and the hour, we can handle shoving a bottle in a wet, empty mouth and rocking the poor innocence. But, while you were rocking your child, and putting yourself to sleep, more than them, did you happen to even think on why you should do what you are doing?

My friends, it goes beyond duty. "Having to" is a poor excuse to do something that has not only been deemed upon you, but this journey has been given to you, as a blessing. Fellow dads, I am the proud papa of a very cute 6 month-old boy. Seeing his smiling, toothless (except for his two news ones) grin when I come through the door makes my heart sing. Knowing the right area on the back, or the leg, to make him squeal in laughter is almost a forbidden secret, meant only for daddy.

There are also times, like the other night, where I ask myself, 'how insane am I to put up with this?' As I have mentioned, the boy, name of Isaac, is currently teething. Two have shown on the bottom, and two on the top are due to appear any day now. Problem: the cutting of teeth to infants is quite painful, or in my son's case, bloody murder. So, me, being SUPERDAD run to my son's aid as he his weeping his slightly bald head off.

I rocked him for 40 minutes. Then, in comes Mom to relieve Dad, and in ten minutes, he is silent. At this point, two questions may enter your mind: how did that make dad feel, and, why am I relaying this obnoxiously long anecdote to you folks?

To be honest, I felt horrible. I was sore from rocking him, tired because I wanted my pillow, and on top of that, it simply did not work for me. In a word, I had failed. (This is where I tie into the second burning question of what my point actually is).
When I sat on the bed, and listened to my wife move in, and put the kid out, I realized that I was missing the point entirely. I saw that that boy needs me, and he needed me then. He got to experience Mom and Dad working together to comfort him. He got to see the ultimate in engulfing emotional expressions: love.

Dads, and dads-in-waiting, we have two functions when it comes to children, one practical, one emotional: we are to train the child (boys for the most part), and to love them, too. I have such a hard time understanding a situation where a young man will get his satisfaction with his girl, yet, when the pregnancy test says' when's Father's Day?', the man bolts. Some people see the female as their personal playground, but when the wind blows, they are off again.

Do they not see the opportunity that they are missing? Can they not see that the point in manhood is to begat a new generation, and the point in fatherhood is to train said generation to be men? There is a reason that God designed sex to be between man and wife, and that is so a child being sprouted from the family unit can have the love and discipline it needs. For a dad to leave, to shred the family is to kill the child before they can develop, ergo their decisions in life are messed up from the start.

Boys will look at Dad and see how a real man is to act. A girl sees Dad, and sees an example of the kind of man out there to pick for her spouse. To violate that by being abusive, or simply, flat-out leaving, is to doom that child to a life they do not deserve.

My heart truly aches for the next generation. Babies are being born into loveless, hopeless families, or are simply treated like garbage and like they do not deserve the right to breathe the same air that I am. I love my son. I can not see how a son can be hated, for any reason, regardless of the people they frequent on the Dr. Phil show. I have two lots in life, aside from glorifying God: to love my wife totally and solely, and to teach my son to do the same when he marries. If I up, and left my wife, Isaac would never know what a good husband or father would look like.

Now, we do have laws in place; laws that protect the mother, financially. Sadly, the elected government has no ability to order a father to be a dad. A father has a seed: a dad has a seed, and an inspiration to be a dad. I do not believe for a second that we come from apes, but, I do think that even the animals have a better concept of parenting than most humans. America is free, is it not? How come that kid has to be handcuffed to a life it does not merit?

Let me point out, I am not speaking necessarily about divorcees. My parents were divorced, and my dad was as good of a dad as one could be for a divorcee. I am speaking of those labeled 'deadbeat dads' and the like. Likewise, I have had friends who copulated outside of marriage, and ended up kicking out the dad, either due to abuse, or he was just a hopeless case.

Here is what it comes to: I have really wide feet. Now, just because I was blessed with huge feet, I do not have a license to grind people's toes, at random, into the pavement. In the same light, just because God gave men the right 'equipment', it does not mean we can sling it in any direction we please. And what else? If you trust in the Word, as I do, God made the man responsible for the family. He is not greater than the wife, but if the family falls, it is his head that gets rolled. A broken family is still a family, and he is still responsible for it.

Dads, if you get someone pregnant, a wife or girlfriend, please sit, and consider the tremendous repercussions that will ring out, like ripples on the water. The life of the mother has just become more difficult, the life of the child has become 100 times more difficult, and you are now under the gun of God.
Sink or swim, fellas...

If you have a baby in your life, it is important that you baby proof your home-- at least to some degree. While most expectant parents know that they should baby proof their homes by the time their baby is a few months old, grandparents and other family members should also make sure their houses are baby-friendly when baby comes to visit. It's not very expensive to baby proof your house and it's certainly a worthwhile investment regardless. Here are some baby proofing basics:

Outlet protectors. You should purchase a large package of plastic protectors for all of your wall outlets. This should be your first order of business, as curious babies love to crawl around and poke and prod at things. You want to make sure all of the outlets in your house are covered. Outlet protectors can be found at any baby specialty store or discount store.

Baby gates. You should have a baby gate at the top and bottom of every staircase in your home. It's not worth the risk to skip this one. All it takes is a quick turn of your back for a fast moving baby to try to hightail it up the steps. Baby gates can range in price, anywhere from 15 dollars to 50 dollars or more. Buy what you can afford but make sure that the gate fits securely in the space you are trying to block off. If you have a sunken or step-down room in your house, you may want to block baby's access to the step-down as he or she learns to crawl. If you can't afford to buy gates for all of your staircases, be diligent about rotating them as you are upstairs and downstairs with your baby.

Foam pads. You should cover any sharp edges (like coffee table edges or raised fireplace edges) with foam pads and corner guards. You can find foam pads at baby stores and specialty stores.

Cabinet latches. If you don't put latches on your cabinets and drawers, expect baby to drive you crazy opening and shutting them all day long-- as well as taking all of your pots and pans out of the cabinets. It's especially important to hinder baby's access to your utility drawers and to all cabinets that house chemicals or other dangerous substances.

Other baby proofing tips:

Keep detergents and cleaning products up on a high shelf or in a high cabinet, out of baby's reach.

Keeps your bathroom doors closed so that baby can't wander over to the toilet--serious accidents have occurred with young babies playing with the toilet.

Keep baby away from the kitchen while you are cooking. Keep hot pans out of reach and when cooking on the stove, make sure all pot handles are tuned inward so that your baby can't try to pull them down.

Keep baby's diaper rash cream, powder and baby oil out of reach. Even though these are baby items, they are extremely dangerous if ingested.

If you have a swimming pool in your yard, obviously you should keep the gate locked at all times. But don't leave baby unattended near a kiddy pool either-- top heavy, wobbly babies can tumble right in if you're not careful.

Be sure to put away plastic grocery and shopping bags-- these are a real hazard for babies and young children. Buy a plastic bag storage holder or take the bags to the recycling center. Most grocery stores even have bins where you can deposit your old plastic bags.

Baby proofing is such an important thing that some folks hire professional baby proofing company's to come to their home for a consultation. If you are truly concerned about how to baby proof your home, you should consider this service. Of course this will add quite a bundle to the cost of baby proofing your home, but you really can't put a price on your baby's safety.

And even if your house is completely baby proofed with all of the latest gadgets and devices, the number one way to keep your baby safe is to supervise him or her constantly. There is never an excuse for leaving a baby unattended so make sure your baby is always within your sight during his or her waking hours.

By Misti Sandefur

Many new mommies want to experience a natural labor without the drugs, because they want to be more alert as to what is going on around them. I am the mother of three, and I told myself that my labor would never involve drugs. I keep my word for my first two, but when my last baby was born I did finally ask for some "drugs," and I got them too. I did know what was going on around me, but I felt hardly any pain at all, and there were times when I drifted off to sleep for a brief moment, then, once my baby boy was born, I can remember holding him in my arms then handing him back to the doctor. I handed him back because the medicine they had given to me caused me to be very drowsy and I did not want to drop my newborn baby.

All three of my pregnancies were quick -- the longest and first was six hours -- and the other two was one hour and two hours. Even though I asked for "drugs" the last time, I did not have any at all with my first two children; the last child was a bit more painful than the first two, and he came a little earlier. I was, however, in all three cases, able to make my labor easier.

Today, I am going to share with you a few things you can do to prepare for and make your labor easier. Please, do not think these methods will make your labor totally pain-free, because they will not -- labor is very painful -- but I hope that the following methods will make your labor less painful and quicker.

Walking

Walking while in labor helps things progress quicker. Once I arrived at the hospital with my first pregnancy, the nurses suggested I walk up and down the halls. They told me it would help make my labor easier, and as I already mentioned, they said it would help move things along too. They were right, it made my labor easier, and not long after I got back into bed I had dilated more and my contractions came much faster.

Aerobic Exercise

During pregnancy, you may want to consider learning a few aerobic exercises. Video tapes, books or even classes can teach you some aerobic exercises that are safe for pregnant women. In addition, you can check with your doctor to see what he or she recommends.

Aerobic exercises will reduce the stress you will encounter during pregnancy, help you stay fit, and, when the time comes, they may make for a shorter and less painful labor. Some aerobic exercises you can try are swimming, walking or pedaling on a stationary bike. Do not engage in any type of exercises that are strenuous, require you to lift, or exercises that would cause you to lose your balance and fall.

Changing Positions

While in labor, change positions until you reach a position that is comfortable for you. Many women prefer to be in a sitting position, because they say it is much easier since the gravity helps by pulling things down. For me, I tried many different positions, and the one I found to be the most comfortable was sitting up slightly in the bed. While lying on my back, I grabbed a hold of my knees (slightly bent) with my hands and pulled myself up when it came time to push, but every woman is different, so do what is most comfortable for you.

Bathing

At some stage in labor, consider taking a shower. A shower will provide relaxation and may ease the pain. However, if your water has already broken, check with your doctor before taking a shower.

Meditation

When your contractions start getting closer, and the pain becomes unbearable, you can try meditating. Meditation is a process used to slow and control your breathing. Because your mind focuses on controlling your breathing, it can help relieve your pain.

Support

Having your partner by your side will aid in making the entire labor process easy for you. In addition, depending on the hospital's policy, other family and friends being there for support can help as well.

When I had my first child my now ex-husband, mom, best friend and mother-in-law were all in the room during my labor, and even when the baby was born. They all took turns wiping my head with a cool rag, breathing with me, walking the halls with me, and they talked to me. Their support, the friendly nurses, and my doctor (he had a sense of humor) made the experience worthwhile.

Music

If you want to focus your mind on something other than the pain, try listening to soothing music. Moreover, once the baby is born, the song playing at the time will remain a memory forever.

All the above is advice. I am not a doctor, midwife or professional, I am just a mother who has been there three times, so you should ALWAYS check with your doctor before utilizing any of the advice given above.

Decisions regarding infant feeding are all too often viewed as a matter open for discussion or debate. Many relatives, at family gatherings, might actually feel like a group consensus is suitable when it comes to decisions regarding infant feeding. If you have made the decision to delay solids for the current recommended time frame based on the American Academy of Pediatrics (which is currently no earlier than 6 months) you might find yourself in an awkward predicament when at holiday gatherings or family functions where there is a lot of food available. How exactly can you handle any questions or offers you receive for feeding your infant?

You can remain tactful and at the same time not compromise your baby's health. Studies have demonstrated that early introduction of solids prior to 6 months is associated with an increased risk of allergies later in life. Solids are generally intended to be introduced during the first year of life to allow your infant to experiment with taste and texture; they are not intended to be a primary form of nutrition prior to one year.

Despite your best intentions as a parent to follow current recommended medical advice, you might find yourself exasperated when you are attending a family function. It is not uncommon, even if you have a baby as young as four months, for adults to offer "soft" foods to your child including ice cream, despite the current recommendation that infants under one year of age be given no dairy.

I repeatedly had to deal with offers of ice cream beginning when my baby was about 5 months of age! It didn't matter that she hadn't begun solids yet. It didn't even matter that she was an exclusively breastfed infant. The conflict in opinions clearly resulted from the generational gap and the fact that many older individuals clearly still have outdated opinions on issues of infant feeding. It got to the point where it was not even enjoyable for my husband and me to visit homes where repeated requests would be made despite already indicating our preference and doctor's recommendation. It's not that I solely rely on doctor's advice (in fact, I rarely do). I had done a lot of research myself on the issue of early introduction of solids, but in some situations, mentioning your doctor as a reliable resource eases intrusive inquiries.

There are many contributing factors for why you might experience adults offering your infant food. Often, adults from prior generations only rely on what they have done when raising their children, and in recent decades introducing solids at two months of age was unfortunately common. In addition to that, many adults delight in seeing a baby's reaction to eating new foods. Obviously, such offers of food are based on self-interest. Viewing feeding an infant as a some form of novelty is a poor choice for entertainment. I really am unwavering in my opinions on this topic. I find it incomprehensible that there ever exists a benign motive for offering unsuitable foods to an infant other than the perverse entertainment of the person offering the inappropriate foods.

Other studies have indicated that an infant's parents, specifically the mother, or the primary caregiver should be the only person introducing and feeding a baby. There has been some evidence to suggest a correlation later in life with being fed from multiple people as an infant and being susceptible to peer influences pertaining to alcohol and drug use as a teen. And honestly, many parents (including myself) simply don't feel their baby should be viewed as community property. Regardless of your stance on this hot topic, if you've established your opinion on when is the most appropriate time to introduce solids, you are going to be overwhelmed with having to ward off the food police at every holiday celebration.

I realize that cultural variations strongly influence approaches to child rearing and issues concerning infant feeding. Some families have a very multi-generational approach to child rearing where every adult relative is given equal authority or responsibility for nurturing and raising the next generation. My own approach to child rearing involves both myself and my husband being the primary role models in our child's life and other adults being exactly what their labels imply: grandma, aunt, uncle, etc. Extended family are great for entertaining and playing with our child when visiting, but they are not consulted as an expert source for matters of childrearing. We also don't welcome unsolicited advice very well either. Our parents raised their children, and due to personality differences and the beauty of being human, we aren't necessarily raising our children in an identical way.

I also personally feel that babies in our country (despite the small fortune spent on nursery furniture and baby gear) are not viewed respectfully enough. If an adult finds it fascinating to gawk at the reaction a four-month-old has to ice cream or mashed potatoes, that adult needs to seek out other interesting hobbies. Babies are not a novelty or "for display purposes only." A baby's safety and comfort is the most important consideration because babies are not equipped physically to address their needs. They need attentive and nurturing mothers to read their cues, and other adults need to be respectful of that. Clearly, Aunt Bertha who sees the baby for the first time and won't be seeing him for many months is not equipped to address important issues such as infant feeding. Innocently claiming "a small taste won't hurt" is not justification for following one's own agenda and ignoring the parent's wishes. At the very least, it represents bad manners.

The delicate line of parental responsibility is being blurred as average family size is decreasing. Many adults are having fewer children than in previous generations. This can cause an imbalance in the perceived role of extended family members because the adult-to-child ratio is unhealthily distorted, at least in my family. Adult family members who have no children have to compete with other adults to be the fun aunt or uncle to the lone child of the family. If you have an enormous family with lots of kids laughing and playing at holiday gatherings and if you actually have enough family members living to host a family reunion, consider yourself lucky. The demands placed on parents in larger families are much more realistic than in smaller families.

If you've made the decision to introduce solids according to the American Academy of Pediatrics current recommended timetable, there are a variety of things you can do in order to make sure others don't senselessly disrupt that goal. If your 4-month-old is offered ice cream, you can easily inform the food police that your doctor strongly recommended no dairy for the first year. Dairy really is biologically intended for calves not human babies, but that topic is best discussed at length elsewhere. You might be tempted to cave into demands when surrounded by many adults of a different (sometimes alien) generation. Consider if this is wise, though. Do you really want your baby's first taste of solid foods to be highly-salted mashed potatoes or strawberry milk? There are more suitable choices such as mashed peas or mashed avocado. If your firm reminders when declining food offers don't work (because there are some individuals who will do what they want anyway), you have two choices: don't let your baby out of your arms or leave the event. Fortunately, in many cases people are reasonable enough to view mom's opinion as the golden rule and not intrude further. If your baby is happy and healthy, it is really not anyone else's concern how or what you feed your baby.

Your child is most vulnerable to being spoon fed when out of your reach. Consider having your husband hold your baby when there are many adults around. Many cooing adults will easily snatch a baby away from mom but think twice about intruding on dad's space.

It wasn't my intention to debate the merits of and scientific evidence for delaying solids, but rather to provide you with some helpful advice for interacting with the food police. They are on the prowl in every state and might be coming to your neighborhood next!

By Heather Pohlabel

Let's be honest; children are expensive. Very expensive. They never really get any cheaper as they grow, so the time to start being sensible about money is as soon as they are born! There are many different areas where you can control expenditures when it comes to that extra member of your family!

Be Practical:
First of all, you don't NEED everything at once, and you don't really need EVERYTHING! This is a hard concept for new parents, and even some seasoned veterans, as baby stuff is very "cute", but don't fall prey to over purchasing. Advertising agents and department stores will target you with tiny little over priced outfits, elaborate bedding outfits, and unrealistically priced accessories. Buyer, beware! You will not be able to resell these items for anything close to what you paid for them.

In all practical terms, babies need somewhere to sleep, something to wear, and something to eat. Of course all of these needs come with many accessories and a price tag, so keeping the necessary supplies minimal and replacing them when you need them will not only help you control your baby budget, it will keep you from gathering too much extra!

Some other practical advice when shopping for a baby need is never pay full price; the item will inevitably go on sale in the next week or two, and scour the clearance racks; it's amazing what you can find there! Also, utilizing coupons helps, especially if the item is already on sale. However, comparison shop products; name brands aren't always the best and the coupon value may not reduce it enough to equal on off brand or store brand on a comparable item.

Buying Used:
We all know that this is the best way to go with babies. Buying everything used from clothing to furniture saves an enormous amount of money for the family. Babies outgrow things - even furniture - within weeks sometimes, and buying brand new items, while nice in concept, is just not very practical.

You can purchase used items online, at resale shops, or at garage sales. If you have friends with babies, you can each keep your eyes out for items that the others need. Even friends without babies like to window shop, and they can lead you to that next great bargain, or they may even purchase it for you if they know that you buy used. The Salvation Army also has very inexpensive baby items, but much like a garage sale, you will spend more time searching for cuter and better quality items in a store such as this.

Discount Shopping :
If you are looking for brand name bargains on new items, shop stores such as Valu City or Burlington Coat Factory. While some of these items are irregular, they are usually very wearable and very affordable. Check the clothing very closely before purchasing it, as you may not be able to return it. There are more strict return policies at discount stores, but you can really find incredible trendy and modern merchandise at bargain prices at these stores.

Hand-Me-Downs:
While "hand-me-downs" get less popular as children get older, don't refuse free things from anyone. Take what you can use, and use them! Be sure to ask the giver if she would like the items back when your baby is done using them.

Household Tips:
Making use of household tips from the Internet or from friends will help you to save money as well. For example, there are stain removal tips of all kinds all over the Internet. You can even make your own baby wipes and dryer sheets with a little creativity. Making your own baby food is another popular household money saving tip.

If you have a craft such as sewing, you can mend items instead of replacing them and even make your own baby clothes if you find reasonably priced material.

As always, using common sense such as washing clothes with a full load and with cold water will save a little bit of money here and there on detergent and hot water costs.

Barter:

This may seem like an ancient practice, but if you have a service or product to offer, you could very well exchange that for the service or product from another mother. If you know a hairstylist, perhaps she would cut your hair or your family's hair in exchange for baked goods or babysitting. If your child has outgrown something, you could exchange that with another parent who needs it for something that they have that you need. There are also websites where you can advertise your need for exchange or products and services such as craigslist.com.

Use your head when it comes to purchasing baby items, not your entire paycheck. While brand new items are initially appealing, they are seldom worth what you pay for them!

By Brandi M. Seals

For youngsters it is easy to get caught up in Christmas, but often times the reason they get excited is the presents. Not giving them, but getting them. For kids, Christmas can seem like a never-ending gift receiving adventure, but its time they learned it is about something more.

Parents can teach their children the origin of Christmas lies in the birth of Christ or if you are going for more of a secular Christmas there is still plenty that can be done to get kids in the spirit. Whatever you do, try to make sure kids understand that it is better to give then to receive.

Music
Children respond to what is going on around them. If you want them to get excited for Christmas, try playing some Christmas music. They can sing along with Jingle Bells and Silent Night. CDs filled with Christmas music are readily available at most music stores. However, if you are trying to save money, there is usually at least one radio station that switches completely to Christmas music right before the big day. So turn up the radio and have a little fun.

Stories
Use story time to really hammer home the message of Christmas. Choose a biblical story about the birth of Jesus or read something about Jack Frost. There are many options available. Check out your local library for a great selection. Try to find something that reinforces your beliefs about what Christmas should be about. Keep in mind that a favorite of young and old alike is "The Night before Christmas."

Movies
Each year more and more Christmas related movies pop up. There is bound to be one out there that you and your children love. Try watching the classics, like "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart. If you have a television signal and a T.V. you can surely watch this movie for free. It's on every year.

If you are looking for something more upbeat and humorous try "National Lampoons: Christmas Vacation." This film is not appropriate for all ages, but if your children are a little bit older they will enjoy the Christmas hijincks shown in the film.

For little kids get a cartoon. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is a classic film based on a book written by Dr. Seuss. This half-hour movie shows kids that even though the Whos had no presents on Christmas morning, they still had Christmas spirit.

Gift Giving
If you want your kids to really understand that Christmas is about giving, there is no better way than to get them involved in the gift giving process. If they previously haven't gotten gifts for mom and dad, it is time they started. Have them use their own allowance (perhaps supplemented with some funds from mom and dad) to buy gifts for parents and siblings. Do not buy the presents for them unless they are too young to earn an allowance. You want your kids to know that someone does indeed have to pay for the gifts.

If your kids are already buying gifts for their immediately family, why not have them help you brainstorm ideas for other people you are buying for. Perhaps little Suzy can come up with the perfect gift idea for Grandma. By seeing all the thought and time that goes into getting the perfect gift, your child will not be so hasty to toss away presents that do not immediately please her.

Make Cookies
Lots of people make cookies or other treats for the holidays. If you are one of those people, get your kids involved. Not only will they learn how to handle themselves in the kitchen, but they will have a sense of pride when Uncle Billy comments on how much he loves the snacks.

When you make Christmas dinner, try to get everyone involved. Kids can do easy things like cook the corn. If they are too young, they can at least set the table. Make sure everyone has a role and your children do not grow up seeing just one person making an effort. People tend to take the Christmas dinner for granted when they do not prepare it or help out. Let your kids know that a lot of thought and hard work goes into the process.

By Brandi M. Seals

Selecting a family pet can be difficult, especially if there are small children involved. Some animals are better for homes with children than others. Choose one of the following kid-friendly pets for your family. Do a little research and decide which is best for you and your family.

Kid Friendly Pets

1.) Dogs
Dogs can be excellent pets for children. They are loyal, fun to play with and can be very gentle around children. Before picking a breed read up on their tendencies. Large dogs like Great Danes, St. Bernards and Dobermans are not great choices if you have small children. Large dogs grow quickly and inadvertently injure children by playing too rough or rolling on them. You may also wish to steer clear of Dalmatians. These cute puppies have a tendency to be deaf (deafness affects approximately 10% of these dogs) and may react poorly when surprised. Do a little research first and find the perfect dog for you and your family.

2.) Cats
Cats seem to come in two varieties - those that love neck scratches and lap time with their owners. The other type likes solitude and has little to do with the humans who care for them. While you may like a lap kitty and your child may get more one-on-one time with the animal, both cat personalities can work well in most households. Pay attention to whether your child exhibits any allergic reaction symptoms to cats. Many people are affected by cat allergies. Keep everyone in your home healthy and happy by making sure there are no cat allergies before you adopt one of these fun bundles of fur.

3.) Hermit Crabs
What is easier to take care of then a hermit crab? These interesting pets live in shells that they scavenge for in nature. Keep them in a dry tank with some extra shells so that they can move up in the world if they want to. Also, don't have a lonely crab. Buy more than one so your crab will always have company. Before heading home with your new hermit crab check with whoever sells it to you to determine if your species drinks fresh water or salt water.

4.) Rabbits
These furry little guys live for 5-10 years and can be kept indoors or outside just be sure to give them plenty of space to exercise. Each rabbit is different but in generally they love to run about and hide when scared. If you have a quiet home and want to spice things up, a rabbit could be the answer.

5.) Fish
Fish are easy to keep and care for. Beginners will need to invest in the necessary equipment like a tank, filter, fish food, etc. But once the basic supplies are bought, fish are generally very easy to care for. Remember to keep their tank clean and to feed them regularly. If you are looking for more of a challenge after awhile, why not try to create a self-supporting saltwater tank?

6.) Gerbils
These low-cost animals make great first pets. They live in their cages year-round and can be fun to watch. Caretakers simply keep the cage clean, feed and water the little critters and make sure the gerbils have something to chew on. Tubes from toilet paper rolls and paper towel are wonderful chew toys and will keep your gerbil busy. Just keep in mind that these little guys are nocturnal and it may not be the best idea to keep them in your child's room as they will run on their squeaky wheel all night long.

Taking Your Pet Home

Once you have decided which pet would be best for your family, follow these tips to keep your child safe and help adjust to owning a pet:

Take your pet to the vet for a check up. The place you got your pet (from a breeder, shelter, or pet store) may allow you to have an animal examined and returned within an agreed-upon time period if the animals unhealthy. Discuss this with the manager where you want to get your pet. It may already be part of your pet-purchase contract.

Watch your child and new pet interact. Pay close attention to how the animal is handled. Teach your child to never to squeeze the animal, not to drop them, play too rough or pick up an unsuspecting pet.

Make sure your child knows not to tease animals or pull their tails or ears.

Remind children that pets do not like to be bothered while eating, sleeping, or tending to their young. And teach your child never to take a toy or bone away from a dog.

As much as you love and trust your pet, it should never be left unsupervised near an infant or toddler. Too much can happen too quickly. Young children have a tendency to pull or tug on animals and handle them too roughly. Pets may be alarmed by this behavior and react inappropriately.

For anyone out there who has had a child, you know what the last month of a pregnancy is like. Each day going by just a little bit slower than the day before. It is an awful feeling wanting your baby to come and not being able to do anything about it. We have all heard the different things that you can try to speed up the process. I've been working on a few but I just do not think that any of it is going to work.

Then there are my daily chats with my baby. Trying to coax him out verbally does not seem to be having much affect either. I have heard that eggplant parmesan is supposed to induce labor. Maybe that will work but I have yet to make it to an Italian restaurant. Truth be told I have not wanted any. As of late the baby only really seems to want Chinese food and tomatoes.

With everyday dragging by I have been hard pressed to find things to keep me distracted. Especially now that I am not working since I'm only two and a half weeks away from my due date. Writing these blogs is one thing that I am trying, plus financially making a little money on the side never hurt anyone. I do not plan on going back to work for a while, hopefully a long while if I can manage it. My game plan is to find a way to help my husband out money wise so that I can always be at home with the baby so the internet is the perfect solution.

Some women I think get more nervous as they get closer to their due date but I feel the exact opposite. I think that I was a lot more scared at the beginning of the pregnancy and as I get closer I feel surer that the experience is going to be one that I will always cherish. Have I mentioned that this is my first? Very exciting. I am not even that worried about the pain but I am sure that the labor will rectify that for me. There is always the epidural even though I am still not sure how I feel about that and everyone seems to have a different opinion.

I was scared to wait till the last minute to get the nursery together so I have had that done. That was probably a project that I should have saved for my last month to give me something else to do. The whole pregnancy I kept feeling like I was not going to have enough time to get everything done. It was just going by so fast that I just think that there was any way that we were going to be ready. Boy was I wrong. I think that next time I will do things just a little bit differently.

Thank goodness for the nesting syndrome because cleaning can take up a good bit of time. An even bigger bit of time if it is the heavy duty, crazy, it is never going to be clean enough cleaning that some pregnant women including myself tend to do near the end. Even before I left work I had gotten so bad that people at work were fussing at me all the time because I could not stand to see a piece of trash on the floor. If there was trash I had to pick it up. Sometimes I would try to walk by and ignore it but then I would just end up turning back around to go get it because that was all I could think about. That one little piece of trash on the floor.

I have scrubbed the house up and down. I have started doing anything and everything I can think of on my computer. I have even started helping my husband with his business. That man really needs to get organized. Even with everything that I have been doing I still only seem to have one thing on my mind. The baby. Daydreaming about when the baby gets here. Being angry that he is not here yet. Wishing that I would go into labor. Every little pang I feel I hope that I feel something else similar to it, hoping that contractions have started. I have no idea what a contraction feels like but maybe when I have one I will just know. My mother says I will and mothers know everything.

By Crystal Bowden

By Heather Pohlabel

It can be a scary thing - sending your child to school. We've all had nightmares of our young child screaming for us as we walk away and leave them in the care of a virtual stranger. If you are a first time pre-school parent, here are some simple suggestions to help you survive your first year at school!

Communication

You MUST be able to communicate effectively with your children's' teachers, no matter what your personal feelings are toward them. In school, the teacher is the teacher, and he or she is guiding your child in learning and social activities through the duration of your child's stay at school. Teachers, more often than not, have the best interest of your child at heart and really want to do a good job of teaching them what they're there to learn. However, it is a good idea to establish some sort of relationship with your children's' teachers throughout their educational careers, so starting in pre-school will be good practice.

Communicating through short notes on a frequent basis is a good way to keep in touch with the teacher if you are not the one dropping off or taking your child to school. This ensures the teacher that you are interested in what your child is doing, and even though you don't see her often, you support her in her job of educating your child. If you do take and pick your child up from pre-school, coming a little early and observing or staying after a little bit to chat will help you to communicate with the teacher. Teachers welcome the opportunities to show off what they're doing and to show you your child's progress.

It is VITAL that if you have any questions or concerns that you address them immediately with the teacher. Not only will you feel better about sending your child to school, but the teacher will appreciate your concern and your willingness to ask questions! If you communicate well with your child's teachers, your child will benefit immensely. Not only will you and the teacher share a better relationship, the teacher will respond better to your child if he/she understands you and where you're coming from. Your child will also learn how to communicate with people and to be comfortable with his/her surroundings!

I always say that I went to pre-school with my daughter. I was in there every day, sometimes staying all day. The teacher actually got sick a few times during the year and went home and I took over class because I knew the routine so well (and I was a certified substitute). I developed a relationship with her teacher that was useful for the next year when she went back to pre-school, and the relationship lasted beyond the classroom and still continues today. We still talk and catch up when we see each other, and she has never forgotten my daughter.

Allow Play!

Pre-schoolers are establishing routines, exploring social situations, and learning a bit about the ABCs and 123s. Beyond this, you should not expect your child to come home and be able to read or write to a great extent. Playtime is learning time. There are many things to be said for play-based learning. Don't be upset if you visit your child's class and he or she is "just playing" all day.

Hand and eye coordination and motor skills are built in pre-school, and the best way to develop these skills are through playing with building blocks and other manipulatives. Many preschools are filled with puzzles and playdough and sand tables. These are all sensory based play activities that help to stimulate your children's' senses, which, in turn, will help them to be able to grasp a pencil and write or a crayon to color. The stimulation provided through these activities helps the brain and the hands learn to communicate and work together.

Gross motor skills are developed by playing games such as duck duck goose or hopscotch. Many pre-school classrooms have small trampolines for children to work on developing the muscles in their legs and torso. It is also a great stimulant for a bored child or a great outlet to burn off extra energy for an over energetic child.

Remember, Your Child has a Lifetime of Learning

If your child does not leave pre-school not being able to spell his last name correctly or knowing how to read, the school has not failed you. Your child is gearing up for a lifetime of learning while in pre-school, so let him enjoy it. There will be challenges throughout his academic career that he will learn to handle through the social and play skills he learned in pre-school.

The best way to handle your child's pre-school years is to not stress. The teachers are there to help you, so communicate with them as much as possible. Your child is there to learn through play and exploration, which will lead to a lifetime of learning. Enjoy the pre-school years. They'll be in Kindergarten before you know it...and the pressure is on!

By Brandi M. Seals

Getting a pet may seem like the last thing you want and the only thing your kids want. At some point or another just about every child decides he or she would love a pet. While a pet may not be on the top of your list of things to have, perhaps getting one would not be so bad.

The following are five very real reasons a pet may be beneficial for you and your child.

1.) Pets Teach Responsibility
If you get a pet when your child is old enough to help out, the experience will greatly help teach responsibility. If you have a dog, your child can feed, water, and let the dog out to use the bathroom. Just be sure to keep an eye on the situation. Children can often forget to do stuff. Make sure Fido has the food and water he needs daily. If your child forgets to feed or water the dog, do not take over for him or her. Remind your child of her daily duties and that Fido's life depends on her. There may be some resistance to this new found responsibility but with time your child will begin to grow accustomed to these additional demands.

2.) Pets Are Great Best Friends
Children in one-child households are often left to their own devises to entertain themselves. They can get lonely and may need a friend, just like any other child who does not immediately identify with his or her siblings. A pet can be like a built in friend for anyone. Children can tell their secrets to their pet, spend time with it and otherwise bond with the pet. If a child identifies with a good friend or pet, he is less likely to give into peer pressure, will be more willing to stand up for himself and most likely will not tolerate cruelty to any animals.

3.) Pets Teach Kids about the Cycle of Life
Most pets, as loveable and cute as they are, do not live as long as humans. Inevitably they die. While you may think that is traumatic for children to deal with, life and death are part of life. They will need to learn about the concept of death at some point. If you hide death from them, by saying that their favorite pet just suddenly ran away or by constantly replacing a dead fluffy with an identical gerbil, the child may actually be more upset when they find out the truth. Simply explain that Fluffy's body is still here but her spirit (what makes her Fluffy) has died. You can tell your child about your beliefs about death or go with the tried and true - "she's in a better place now."

4.) Pets Offer Health Benefits
Generally the health benefits of owning a pet are only discussed in reference to the elderly or the disabled, but the benefits of owning a pet are felt by all pet owners. Just by owning a pet one's blood pressure can lower and triglycerides and cholesterol levels can decrease. In a day and age where children are becoming increasingly overweight, they can have these increased levels that were previously only routinely associated with adults.

5.) Pets Allow for Increased Activity
Sometimes it is hard to get children up and moving. A pet, especially a dog, cat, or ferret can get children moving. They can play together. Toss a ball around. And otherwise just get moving. Your child and pet may spend time outdoors or indoors together. The increased activity may help children stay toned and maintain a healthy weight.

While this article mainly discusses the benefits of larger animals, smaller pets are also great for children. Hamsters, gerbils, snakes, lizards, and much more can all play an important role in your child's development. Get whatever fits you and your child's life. If you live in a small apartment that does not allow pets or are allergic to cat, do not limit yourself to the typical everyday pets. Investigate getting something more unusual like keeping and maintaining a salt water fish tank or sugar glider. However, do not get too creative. If you are terrified of snakes, think twice before you allow your son to get a corn snake. What are you going to do if it gets out?

By Christina VanGinkel

With summer winding down, we are finally starting to put some of the hottest days of this year behind us. This also means that playing outside is becoming much more tolerable, whereas a few weeks ago, when my grandson came over to play, it more often than not meant heading indoors to the air conditioning. Now, we can enjoy the simple tasks of climbing and swinging on the play set that was once his mother's and uncles', and pursuing pretending to be Picasso as we color my walkway with chalk drawings in every conceivable design.

When friends stopped by this past weekend with their two young children, I could see the parents glancing at the chalk drawings with somewhat of a surprised look. An obvious dragon stood guard by a castle, while just down the walkway was a decent rendition of a T-Rex and a Brontosaurus. They could easily tell that more than just a busy three year old had been at work. If getting down and playing with young kids in activities such as these are not on your list of things to do, I can with all sincerity recommend that maybe they should be.

When these same friends suggested that maybe we were spending too much time playing with our grandson these days, I quickly suggested back that maybe they were not spending enough time playing with their own children. They are good friends, so no offense was taken on either side. It did lead to a discussion though on how much time we spent in leisurely pursuits with our own kids when they were small, and I think it surprised the couple who both work outside of their home and raise a family. They say that finding time to accomplish the necessary tasks of keeping up a home and kids is hard enough, that if they were to add in activities as leisurely as sidewalk chalk art, they would have to give up something of importance to do so.

When our two oldest children were small, I did work outside of the home. I also spent time writing, something I have pursued since my teenage years, and worked as a freelance craft designer. I still found time to head to the lake last minute, trek through the woods to collect sticks and leaves for crayon rubbings and sticky glue collages, and participate in one of our favorite pastimes, coloring! I also was known to bring work home, literally, as I was a supervisor at a company that sold handcrafted collectible wood figures. If an order was due and inventory was short, I would take unfinished wood pieces home to paint or assemble. I was not superwoman, far from it. I just had my priorities, and if I lost sight of what they were from time to time, there was nothing as gratifying as snuggling with my kids and reading a book aloud to remind me exactly what those priorities were.

As we chatted about all this, one difference that did become apparent was that our two oldest kids were not in as many organized sports back then. Our one teenager left at home is though, and currently, football practice alone takes up five evenings a week and Saturday mornings are games. When school begins next week, practice will cut back to three evenings a week, but we will also add in a full schedule of homework and school related activities. Still, we will sneak in some late mornings for extra sleep, followed by time to talk, via me running him to school instead of having him ride the bus. Sure, this will mean I probably will not get to vacuum the living room that day as I will have to spend those few minutes working, and we will most likely have take out for dinner the same day, just to make up for the hour spent sleeping and driving, but it will be well worth it. I will get a half an hour of talk time with a teenager who is not sleep deprived. If you think an extra half an hour of sleep is not that important to a kid, you obviously have yet to meet a teen!

When I pressed my youngest to share what some of his favorite times with us have been so far, he came back with moments from various parts of his life. Little League, Pop Warner, fishing, blackberry picking, hunting, watching cartoons, riding his motorized jeep down the hill in front of the house, trail riding his motorbike, to sleeping in on the weekends when we all just decide to play hooky! He also surprised me by saying that when he was in private school and I drove him to school each day. He elaborated by saying he loved the extra time in the morning when things were not so rushed. Sure, we had our busy moments back then, but it was more often than not more relaxed than it is now with him in public school. Time is important is what it came down to.
As our friends and we chatted more on the subject, we finally came about to the realization that no matter how busy a schedule parents have, making time for the kids you chose to build your family with, to spend time doing silly, nonsensical things with them, is very important. Bake some cookies, build a tent out of blankets, and sing at the top of your lungs even if you have a lousy voice! When it comes down to it, having kids is a good reason to still act like a kid ourselves occasionally, so do not waste a single, precious moment of it. Grab some chalk, and draw your own giant T-Rex today!

There are many factors to take into consideration when deciding what age is the best age to start a family. The overall trend in the U.S. in recent decades has been to have one's first child at a later age than in previous generations. I am probably among the minority, but I was a full decade younger than my mother and twelve years younger than my father was than the age at which my parents were when I was born.

Financial considerations seem to rank high for many couples when deciding when is the perfect time to start a family. Although financial concerns are important to consider, they should not be the lone deciding factor. There are many other issues to consider such as health of the mother. If you choose a conventional treatment route during pregnancy and delivery, a mother having her first baby at age 35 and beyond is quickly labeled as being of an "advanced maternal age." This easily contributes to an abundance of additional testing and prenatal care that younger mothers don't typically have to worry about.

Another consideration is the age and status of you and your spouse's own parents. Having a baby at age 24, my father was already deceased for 5 years, so my child's grandparents were already limited to three even prior to being born. Waiting until age 40 to have my first child could have possibly resulted in no living grandparents or older extended family members. I might be the youngest mom at the playground and dance lessons, but I am ironically not the mom with the youngest parents. Mothers who are a decade or more older than me often have parents the same age as my mother.

Career concerns are another important consideration to address. Many parents desire to have a decade or more invested into a career before taking time off to have children. Often, though that decision becomes the motivating factor behind not being a stay-at-home parent.

It would seem that parents who wait to have children until they are older would be more likely to have at least one parent stay at home (at least for a few years) because they presumably have achieved a greater degree of financial security and can survive on one income. Often, what happens is that parents who spend years working before starting a family have become accustomed to the lifestyle they have created based on two incomes and are reluctant to give up one income. The only foreseeable way to ensure a transition from two incomes to one income is to make lifestyle choices based on one income well before children come along. Otherwise, even individuals who have some desire to stay at home often change their minds and continue working because of the dependence they have created on a lifestyle of which they have grown accustomed. Also, once you have several years invested in a career, giving it up might be difficult because you are faced with the realization that it might be more difficult, if not impossible, to pick up where you left off.

Another consideration, though, is whether or not other family members or friends are having children. Being the only couple having a baby in both my husband's and my family was a very difficult adjustment because the demands placed on your time and divvying up holidays becomes problematic. Adults are eager to have a holiday filled with children's laughter, and there are no other children to share their time with. So, all of the burden falls on the only family members who have children, which was us.

Another important consideration is child spacing. If you wait until an older age to have your first child and want several children, there will be very little spacing in between children. That shortens the time spent breastfeeding. For my own personal circumstances, having my first child early allowed me to breastfeed for the length of time I chose and allowed for true self-weaning. If I felt pressured to wean my child by 18 months or two years in order to prepare for another pregnancy, I would be resentful of that hurried pace of trying to conceive again. When you have your first baby at a younger age, you can leisurely space your children out. Your toddler will not have to share the spotlight with a sibling. Oddly enough, though, having only one child causes more interference from extended family members. If you have at least two children, relatives are less likely to place demands on your time because you are instantly viewed as a "family" once you have more than one child. If you have one child, you all too often are unfortunately viewed as two adults who live with a kid.

If you don't mind being the only family member with a baby and you don't mind being the youngest parent (not to sound overly enthusiastic) wherever you go, then having your first baby in your twenties might be a choice to consider.

The age at which women begin having children is increasing well into their thirties. That is why it is beneficial to provide you with some often overlooked considerations worth evaluating from the perspective of a twenty-something parent. There is obviously no one perfect age for everyone to start a family, but considering more factors than finances is imperative when making a decision. In our consumer-oriented culture, we, all too often, are excessively preoccupied with financial considerations that we fail to look at the big picture.

By Christina VanGinkel

If your child is not headed off to kindergarten or pre-K this fall because they are still too young to attend, and paying for a private school situation is just not within your budget, helping them get started on a life long love of learning is possible. This might be especially important if they were denied access to public school because of their age, yet frame of mind wise, they are more than ready to hit the ground running when it comes to learning. A child such as this can become bored with a daily routine that involves nothing more than playtime and the most basic of activities. They may beg for more interactive activities than their normal routine. Libraries, museums, and creating a school atmosphere in your own home can all help alleviate the boredom that might otherwise encroach during another year at home waiting for their big school debut to begin.

Library

If your child does not yet have their own library card, now is the time to get them one and introduce them to the library system itself. Sure, you might have taken them there before, or it might even be something you include in your weekly activities already, but maybe now is the time to step it up a bit. Have them find a book on their own and check it out. At home, have them mark on a calendar when the book is due back, and make them responsible for reminding you the following week which day is library day. Having them take responsibility for the book they checked out, is a good lesson in dependability.

If your library offers classes or sessions for preschool aged children, inquire if any of them are geared towards kids a bit older, with projects that require more aptitude than the youngest toddler groups. Because libraries may recognize the strength of early readers, they may very well offer a class for kids who just missed the cut off dates for attending school and for early bloomers. A library just one town over from where we live has even offered beginner photography classes for 4 - 6 year old kids in the fall, that were either too young to attend school or were in Homeschool situations. Who would have thought that kids that young would be able to participate in such a class, but by keeping the class size small, and keeping the lessons short and simple, it was a huge success. The kids loved it, and they actually learned quite a bit about taking a picture. The same library also holds a spring gardening class for the same age group. Kids get to plant a sunflower in a container, and they make reports throughout the summer on how well their plant is growing.

Museums

Obtain a list of local and regional museums and create a schedule to visit each one. Too many children go without ever stepping foot inside the wonders of a museum. From children's museums with exhibits and learning opportunities geared directly towards youngsters, to traditional art and science museums, kids may find that they have discovered a completely new world of knowledge and cultural choices. If your child has a special interest, such as dinosaurs or aviation, research it to discover if there are any museums within driving distance of your home or someplace you are planning to vacation soon that ahs an exhibit about the interest.

Create your Own School

Set aside time each day to play school. During this time, get your child to participate in activities that would be common for him or her to take part in at school, such as coloring, counting, practicing the alphabet, art projects, and even simple science experiments. This can break up the monotony for the child still at home.

While there are many differences of opinions when it comes to the age a child should begin school, most states have strict guidelines that parents must follow. If your child is craving the structure that is often associated with school, check out as many of these activities as you can. Get them involved in areas that they show an interest, and do not try to think too much about their age. While you should of course keep their age in mind if a safety concern is at issue, if they are ready to delve into reading, or more complicated mathematic problems, let them try. Whether they complete such a task, or just attempt it, at least they are testing their skills instead of letting them go stagnate during another year at home.

By Brandi M. Seals

It seems now days as if everyone wants their child to have a totally unique, one of a kind name. I'm all for unique names, but at some people are taking things too far and naming their kids absolutely atrocious things. Actor Jason Lee has a son named Pilot Inspektor, actors David Duchovney and Tea Leoni have a kid named Kyd. The examples in the celebrity world are endless, but it seems these ridiculous naming trends have begun to trickle down into the lives of every day people.

Avoid naming your kid something that he or she will need to change later. Anything that will get their butt kicked should be avoided along with tongue twisters. Avoid these common naming mistakes and your child will thank you someday.

1.) Creative Spelling - People seem to want to throw y's in any name these days and otherwise just spell things wrong. I have seen things like Violet spelled Vylot; Jackson spelled Jaxon; and Daisy spelled Daysey. While some people may not like non-traditional spellings, I say some are not that bad. Those like the examples given show that different spellings are not that bad as long as you can still make out what the name should be.

However, some people take creative spelling too far. Some people spell some names so differently that one cannot easily determine what the name is. For example, Ansley has become Ainsleigh. Kylie is now Kyly. Casey has become Kaycee. How about the name Layne'? How would you pronounce that? Lane? Maybe Laynie? Do not make people confused. If someone must pause for several seconds to figure out what name they are attempting to read, then you have gone too far. Cut back on the creative lettering, your child will appreciate it.

2.) Stupid Names – Being different is great. Being too different is not. Growing up in the 80s I had enough trouble with the name Brandi. Before the name really caught on I was constantly asked if my name was Brandon and why on Earth would anyone name a girl Brandon. And really I don't think my name was that odd at the time but it does take people awhile to warm up to things. So why are people naming their kids things like Apple?

I read through the birth announcements in the local paper ever week and there are always a handful of names that are just plain awful. For example, this past week featured names like Creek Ashton, Yeni Yazmin, Thorin Isaiah, Aneyia Small, Esmeralda Consuelo, Ledessa, and America Rose. That is from a newspaper in Northwest Arkansas. I can only imagine how 'creative' the names have gotten elsewhere. Basically a good rule of thumb is to name your kids something creative but not so creative that she will get her butt kicked just for having the name. Or, at least let them go by a nickname.

3.) Poor Paring of First and Last Names - Sometimes I guess these things are just overlooked by the parents, but when deciding what to name your kid please take your last name into consideration. Since my last name is Seals, you can be sure I will never get the urge to be creative and name my kids something like Artic or Easter. I will also be careful not to create bad initials. There is no Ashley Samantha in my future because her monogram would read A.S.S.

Some people embrace these sorts of names that can cause embarrassment. I have seen someone with the last name Oates sporting the name Barley Buckwheat. His parents were just mean. How does one go through life being Barley Oates? I have also seen Steve Stephens, Hugh Hughes, and several other doubled up names like these. So as much as you might like a name, if it makes some sort of quirky name when paired with the child's last name, it is probably best to pick something else.

4.) First and Middle Names that do not go together – This rule can actually be overlooked for the most part. Most people don't use their middle names too often and really only family and friends are usually aware of the name. For that reason, I say go crazy with the middle name. If you have a burning urge to name your kid Yayabella or other bizarre name, use it as the middle name. But, if you want to give your kid a really good name, make sure the first and middle name go together as smoothly as the first and last name do. August and Azarai do not go together and neither do Jessica and Marlene. Just say the names together a few times. You should be able to tell if they sound good together.

By Brandi M. Seals

Certain things about motherhood may seem easy, like how to bathe a baby, when in fact there is actually a little bit of a trick to it. Maybe you have down pat the hold the baby still with one hand while lathering up soap with the other one, but do you also know that it is often better to bathe your child every other day? There delicate skin can dry out easily especially when washed frequently. Here are some tips to help new mothers settle into their new role and keep their babies clean, healthy and happy.

Sponge Bathing
If your baby's umbilical cord has not fallen off yet or he has been recently circumcised, he should take sponge baths until those areas have healed. To sponge bath a baby, lay him or her down on a flat level surface. If the surface is not naturally cushy, try to pad their bodies with a mat or some towels. Using a wet sponge or wash cloth and warm water, wipe off your baby's face and scalp. Babies do not need to be shampooed at every bath. Once or twice a week is plenty.

Next, use your hand or wash cloth to soap up the baby's body. Pay special attention to the folds of flesh. Be sure to get in there and get everything clean but keep in mind that a little soap goes a long way.

Now the baby is ready to be rinsed. Use a rinsed out washcloth to go over the baby's body several times removing any soap or dirt. Rinse the washcloth frequently with warm clear water and continue to rinse the baby off. When done bathing pat the baby dry with a towel.

Tub Bathing
If your baby is ready for tub bathing gather up all your supplies you will need first. They should include two towels, one to place the baby on, one to dry him off; a washcloth, mild soap and a basin or tub. If you do not have a basin or baby bathtub, use the kitchen sink or a large pan for bathing the baby. It is too hard to hold on to one little baby in a large bathtub, so always use something smaller.

Fill the tub with a couple inches of water. Make sure it is not too hot or too cold by testing the water on your wrist. When the baby is in the bath, be sure to always hold his head up. Keep your wrist behind his head at all times and using the same hand, hold on to your baby's armpit/shoulder area. Never ever leave the baby unattended. All it takes is a second for something horrible to go wrong.

Wash the baby the same way you did when he or she still required sponge bathing. Clean his head and face first with just warm water - using shampoo for the scalp and hair once or twice a week. Then soap up the rest of him. If you notice your baby's skin is becoming excessively dry, try to cut back bathing so that it is done every other day or every three days. If that does not work, cut back on the soap used. Try switching to a milder variety, or only use soap every other bath. As long as you keep the folds of the skin free of any dirt or debris, there will be no problems. Keep in mind that babies don't have to be cleaned as regularly as we do because they are generally very clean and they don't have anything to get into.

Once the bath is done, gently place the baby on a dry towel and blot him dry with another towel. Be sure to get everything dry. Avoid using lotions or powders. They can cause rashes and are generally not needed. However, if the baby has overly dry skin, a light coat of lotion may help. Use a cotton swap to clean the outer ear of your baby. But, never use the cotton swap in the ear canal. The ear wax is there to protect the ear and to keep it clean.

Baths usually relax babies and can be easily incorporated into a night time schedule. Many often enjoy baths just prior to feeding as well. So find what works for you and go with it.

By: Heather Pohlabel

A few years ago. I was warned by a friend of mine that once I sold all of my baby supplies, I would inevitably get pregnant again, most likely when I least expected it. I held on as long as I could to my daughter's belongings, but lack of space, a need for extra cash from time to time, and the fact that my daughter was now in school full time and I hadn't gotten pregnant again led me to finally rid our home of all things baby - even down to the swing set. My thirteen year old was too big for it, and my eight year old had lost interest in it as well. They were growing up and their needs and tastes were changing.

Exactly one month after the last item was gone (that swing set), I found out that I was - you guessed it - pregnant! What kind of dirty trick was this anyway? Was there some karma due me? Had my now former friend jinxed me? I did not look forward to the "I told you so's". Even more, I did not look forward to buying all of that stuff all over again!

I thought about how much money I had invested in my first two children. With the first born, I went crazy buying cute little boy outfits and everything that advertised as a necessity for babies. I had an abundance of diaper rash creams, bottles, onesies, blankets, toys, bath supplies, and several different types of car seats and bouncy seats. I needed options...there were so many to choose from, and they all were perfect in one way or another.

Let's not forget the crib and bedding and all the accessories that go with that - the room decor, the mobile, the extra sheets and matress pads. The stroller, the walker, the swing, the monitor, the high chair, and the playpen; need I go on?

Baby two, a beautiful little girl, came four years later, and in addition to what I had kept from my first baby's baby days, we accumulated an Amelda Marcos worthy stock of baby girl outfits! The first granddaughter is an exciting time for grandparents dying to buy pink and frilly! We also fell prey to all things pink and pretty and overdid it - big time. Our daughter did not even get to wear most of the gorgeous dresses, stockings, headbands, shoes and bonnets that we purchased - some even at full price (because she was WORTH it). Things were everywhere, and things were out of control.

We spoiled our children with every new toy on the market for many years. It wasn't until they were about 10 and 6 that we started to back off on the over the top purchasing. Our son was outgrowing most all toys and was into electronics and money. Our daughter still liked toys, but mostly expensive baby dolls and build a bears or arts and crafts supplies. The years of Fisher Price were long gone, and we were happy!

As the children grew up and their tastes changed, so did our financial situation. Money was tighter than ever, and this was just not us; it was happening to everyone we knew. Even our doctor friends were struggling to make ends meet due to increased insurance requirements, and basically, an increase in everyday living expenses on everything from gas to food. We were not poor, but we didn't have anything to spare. So we sold the crib, the accessories, and the hundreds of beautiful, frilly unworn dresses . We said goodbye to the wagon, the Power Wheels, and the tricycles. We were a baby free house.

We sold ALL of the baby stuff. One by one, they were toted out of our lives for good, to be enjoyed by some other baby in some other house, but not our baby and not in our house. We were done having children.

Until I became pregnant that is. It was time to start shopping again!

This time around, I swore I was going to be much smarter about my purchases - in quantity, quality, and price. I now had three children, mounting household bills, and an increased insurance premium. Money was going to be an issue with this child.

I found out that I was pregnant in November, so it wasn't exactly a good time to start buying the really inexpensive items; garage sales would start in April, and that's when I'd really find my bargains. I did, however, shop some of the clearance racks for some cute outfits and purchased a few bags of diapers when they were on sale, I had a coupon, and a gift card was offered. I knew not to buy too many bags of diapers, as people always give these as gifts. I spent a total of forty dollars on diapers before my baby was born.

I also stocked up on baby wipes, utilizing sales and coupons. This was an everday need, so I made sure I had a good couple of months' supply of these. I spent about thirty dollars on wipes before my baby was born.

I am not a fan of used furniture, but if I HAD to, I would purchase my furniture used. Fortunatley, Wal-Mart sells furniture at or below used prices, and we were able to get a crib, matress, matress pad, sheet and bedding set for around two hundred dollars. This is very affordable, even with a tight budget. The crib is also able to convert to a toddler bed and a day bed, so this is a long term investment that will also offer a reasonable resale price.

We also purchsed our car seat/stroller combo at Wal Mart for one hundred twenty dollars. This is as cheap as they come unless you buy them at a garage sale, which I really wasn't wanting to do. Strollers and car seat get a lot of wear and most safety experts advise against used car seats, so new was fine with me. For about half the price, I could have picked one up at a garage sale, but it would have looked worn and probably would not have held up as well. Also, as I mentioned, used car seats are not recommended by safety experts.

We also were able to purchase a pack and play new at Wal Mart, which, unbelieveably, matched our car seat and stroller. This pack and play was very basic, and only cost fifty dollars. Most used ones that I found at garage sales and resale shops were thirty five. The pack and play is not a necessity, but is becoming more and more popular for families to leave in the family room for the baby to rest or for use as a quick diaper changing table. They also fold up and pack away to take on trips, and they don't take up much trunk space.

I did buy my furniture new, but when it came to clothing, I went used and extremely inexpensive. Downright cheap, actually.

For my onesies, I did NOT buy any new ones. I shopped garage sales for these and didn't allow myself to pay more than seventy five cents for one, and to pay that much, it needed to be pretty! Plain onesies were capped at twenty five cents. Sleepers were also used unless they were given as gifts - i allowed up to a dollar to be spent on these unless they were super cute, and then I'd pay a dollar fifty a piece. I only bought a handfull of each also. I knew I'd be home and doing laundry fairly often. I also knew I'd get some as gifts from friends and family. Being summer when my baby was due, I knew that she would not need to wear anything most of the time - it gets very hot in Ohio.

I did buy the receiving blankets new, but only one package because I had requested these as shower gifts as well. I did NOTbuy baby towels or washcloths; I've learned that babies can use the same ones as everyone else in the house! Baby washcloths are also very flimsy and small and shrink to amazingly small proportions when dried in the drier; they also curl up and are impossible to fold! I bought a pack of twenty regular wash cloths from the dollar store for five dollars, and they served as burp rags as well. I also purchased burp rags from Burlington Coat Factory - the dollar bargain ones (you get four for a dollar), and these have by far been the BEST burp rags that I've ever used. They are slightly like hand towels, have designs on them, and work amazingly well compared to the five dollar pretty pink Gerber brand that just let the spit up slide right down onto your shirt!

I did NOT buy any baby bath products. The baby can't bathe until the cord falls off, and the hospital provides enough for about a month of baths even after your baby can get in the water. It also seems that people who don't know what else to buy for your baby end up buying bath supplies as part of their gifts.

Also, during the course of my pregnancy, I made myself spend only one dollar per week on an item. This forced me to comparison shop and keep my eyes on products, sales, name brands, and my coupon supply. One week I'd get a pacifier for fifty cents; next week, a bottle brush or a bottle. I bought a dozen newborn bottles and requested Playtex Drop-Ins for my shower; I received plenty to get me through the first 3 months.

Even though genetically I am programmed to want the pink frillies for my baby girls, I refrained. I even told my family and friends to buy practical for me. A few frills were fine, but only if they couldn't resist. Most of them were more than happy to oblige, knowing that I would actually be getting use out of what they purchased.

I bought my toys at resale shops and garage sales at about a savings of seventy five percent off of retail, and I will in turn be able to resale them for the same amount that I paid for them unless we destroy them!

Overall, shopping this time around was more challenging, and in that respect, almost more fun. I had to really watch what I was buying and justify each purchase. I started early and kept some self control when it came to purchases - what was left over, I used for pickles and ice cream.

I am an only child; my youngest daughter says that I was a 'lonely' child(what a play on words!). Perhaps that is true, and I used to always get asked 'don't you wish you had a brother or sister?" In my case, my parents just couldn't get pregnant again and yes, I did and still do wish I had a sibling. I see how my hubby interacts with his siblings and usually get the feeling I missed out on something. But whether by nature or by economics, how do you raise an only child to not be a spoiled brat or a shy and retiring child but to be a friendly and happy member of society.

Only children seem to have my myths and stereotypes floating around them. They are selfish; greedy; lonely; they rely too much on their parents; they don't interact well with peers because they hang around adults too much; but how much of these are really true?

Stigmas associated with only children date back a couple of hundred years when only children were considered to be not very well adjusted to their surroundings or even to be mentally disturbed. Only recently have studies have shown that only children are on the same behavior pattern as first born children are.

Small families present a whole new set of dynamics to the parents and while not overwhelmingly popular; 'only' represent about twenty percent of the American population. Raising an only child can be a challenge as well as very rewarding and here are a few tips on how not to raise the stereo-typical only child.

First, you will want to make time for interaction with other kids. Social skills can begin as early as eighteen months, so as a parent, you will want to make time with friends both at home in their own surroundings and away from home.

Start teaching your child social skills as early as a year. They can learn to share with others almost as early as they learn to walk. This is why it is so important to foster interaction between your child and other children. Also, children tend to grow up faster when they are primarily around adults. You need to let your child be a kid.

Learn not to over protect your child. Parents of onlys tend to smother their child (though not all parents are like this of course, but it does happen and it is easier for it to happen with onlys than with multi children families..) It is best to allow the child to fight their own battles. It is best to stand back and let your child work it out for themselves.

Separate yourself from your child, so your child can get used to having other kids around. This can start as early as shortly after birth. Take your baby to a daycare centre or a playgroup and expose them to other kids. Though they might not get the benefit of living with another child, they will certainly learn how to share toys, compromise and learn how to be considerate to others. Encourage your child to learn how to play by themselves. This uses their imagination and allows them to be their own best friend in later years.

Don't shower your child with gifts. My daughters think that I was so lucky because I got tons of Christmas presents while I was growing up, but I would much rather have had a sibling than lots of presents. I did get spoiled to a certain extent. I got a new book once a week while growing up and got quite a bit allowance. But I was also told 'no' when I requested a new toy sometimes when I was little. If the child is bombarded with gifts, they will get the message "I always get what I want." Learn to say 'no'.

Most onlys I have talked to either really liked being an only or totally hated it. In fact my husband and I decided long before we had kids that we would have two as not to have an only child just because I didn't want my child to have the life that I did (I had a fairly happy child hood, but spent most of my youth by myself interspersed every so often with friends).

Being an only child (from the child's point of view can be either lonely or a really great one. I found that growing up as an only child; you are forced to learn how to entertain yourself which is not a bad thing, but can be lonely. You learn how to be your own best friend early and you are in the company of adults a lot of the time which can or cannot be a good thing (this I believe has fostered my love of History, which started when I was a kid and still continues today). I find even now, that with my daughters, there are no cousins for them to play with on my side of the family. I do however have a very close relationship with my parents, so in some ways being an only was good and in other ways, not so much.

But if you have an only by chance or by choice with a little bit extra effort, time and patience, you will be blessed with a great kid and a wonderful adult.

By Christina VanGinkel

We hear a lot of talk about when kids throw tantrums, but not always, that much dialogue about when we realize that far beyond a typical tantrum we find that we are dealing with an angry child. An angry child and a child throwing a tantrum are two extreme opposites. Recognizing the difference is important. Both are dealt with differently, and ignoring anger should never be an option you choose.

If you find yourself asking what the difference, from my own perspective is I would categorize each in the following way. A tantrum being when a toddler or young child shows his or her perceived power or lack thereof through a screaming, crying, and sometimes physical fit, most likely over some inconsequential item or task. They want a toy, the red one not the blue, until you hand them the red one when they then demand the first offensive blue one. They are essentially testing their powers. Or, you tell them to come to the table for dinner, but they are engrossed watching Sponge Bob on the television. When you follow up your request to come to dinner with the command to turn of the television, all order can be lost when their tantrum erupts. Sure, each tantrum is often about something different, but most follow somewhat of a pattern. The child is tired or hungry, they might feel momentarily out of control of their surroundings, and so they throw the proverbial tantrum to regain what they perceive of as power or control, their parent's undivided attention quite often. Ignoring such actions is often the best way to deal with the tantrum at hand. If you do not jump to the attention of them, they lose their power quickly.

An angry outburst is often about issues that are more substantial though. Issues that if you do not deal with them in a timely fashion, can lead to severe consequences. Children can be angry about many things. One somewhat common reason may be the separation from one parent through a divorce. It is often easy for two adults to stand before a child and tell them that they are divorcing each other and not the child, but even the most well intentioned parents may not realize the extent of the consequences that their child will experience from a decision that they had absolutely no say in. This is not to say to those adults that they should stay together, not at all. It is just to make them aware that their child surely has a different view of the ordeal than either parent does. Even when a child may somewhat be aware that the adults should not be together, if he or she has a good relationship with both parents, they may very well feel anger at one or both parents. They might even internalize that anger if they feel so out of control of such a situation that they feel they have no control whatsoever. Be sure that if you even glimpse a problem with anger from such a situation, that you seek out professional help immediately for that child.

Parental separation due to death or a lengthy absence because a parent may be stationed far away for work or military requirements are also big reasons kids may exhibit anger. They may feel that if the parent really wanted to be there, they could, no matter how unrealistic this attitude is. Recognizing why a child is angry, and confronting it head on will at least allow you the power of acknowledgement. Again, seeking professional help is warranted the first time you feel that you cannot handle the situation on your own. Too often, a parent may feel that they are somehow failing with the situation at hand because they feel the need to seek outside help. Not at all! If that is what appears to be the best course, it most likely is. Anger can too often lead to injury, be it the child themselves or someone that the child lashes out at.

Anger may arise for other reasons too. Problems in school, a move, a change of friends, the loss of a pet, or an imagined or very real slight by someone they depend on. No matter the reason that the anger arises, do not ignore it in the way we often ignore tantrums. A tantrum and anger are two different issues, dealt with in extreme opposites at times. Recognizing your child's anger will be the first step towards dealing with it successfully.

Many mothers dream of staying home with their children, being homemakers, keeping their husbands happy, and jollying around all day with PTO ladies at coffee dates and lunches. OK, maybe that's just me.

I know there are other mothers who want nothing more than to have it all - wonderful children, wonderful husbands, and wonderful careers, or at least a good paycheck so they can get their hair and nails done, pay for their SUVs, and buy name brand everything. Well, let's be realistic; we can't have it all. When we have children, sacrifices have to be made, whether it be the time with the children that we'd like to have or the income that we'd like to have - one of them is just not going to happen.

I am fortunate enough to have graduated from college, so in the last nine years, I have been able to parent my children nearly full time and work part time at a high rate of pay with some slight inconveniences and schedule conflicts from time to time. I have pretty much had a perfect set up going on. For some reason, I've gone and screwed that one all up by having another child - nine years after my last baby - at the ripe age of 33. This means I'll be 50 when my baby graduates from high school. This means I'll never have a career. This means...That I was meant to be a mom! I couldn't be happier!

For years I had resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to be more than what I was at my job - a part time college instructor and part time substitute teacher. I always put my children first, so there was no time to go back to college to further my education or to work full time; whoever would take the children to dance lessons, soccer, swim team, school, Brownies, boy scouts, basketball, volleyball, etc.? Their schedules were full time and they needed me working for them, and I did. Just when I thought I was ready to give it all up and go back to work, I became pregnant again. It was going to start all over again!

It took a lot of thinking, weighing options, and arguing with my husband about it, but I decided that I was done working. Retiring early, if you will. I was going to be full time mom and that was it. I would make the financial sacrifice to be the mother to my children that I longed to be and that they deserved.

No fake nails for me. No salon color. No fancy car. I was trading in the Lexus for a Town and Country. No more silk shirts - only baby spit-up approved attire for me. Forget a nice figure; bring on the curves! I was ready to tackle motherhood once again.

My friends thought I was crazy, but they were also slightly jealous. By now many of them or their husbands had chosen to become sterile so they didn't have the chance of messing up their established lives and routines, and most of all, financial situations. Children were and are too time consuming, too expensive...it wouldn't be fair to themselves or their other children. That was their philosophy - until they held my new baby. Then they were searching for a way to once again become parents.

Luckily I did not go through the same emotions. I had been wanting to expand the family, as I felt my career was going nowhere and I really did not enjoy it any more. I did, however, enjoy my children, who were getting older and didn't need me to go everywhere with them. They were spending more and more time with their friends and wanting to be alone more than with my husband or me. I needed a solution - another baby.

It was difficult making the choice between career and child, but I always knew which one I really wanted and which one was best for me. There is nothing I enjoy more than waking my children each day, helping them make good choices, teaching them about life, and watching as they take it all in and practice it on their own. Starting over with an infant will certainly give me that pleasure all over again.

There is no regret here. I am glad that I chose to stay at home with my children. Money is pale in comparison with what we give each other each and every day.

My friend's daughter is the same age as my little boy. My friend starting the potty training process months ago-- several months before I started with my son. Her daughter progressed nicely, using the potty when she needed to with very few accidents. She gets to wear Dora the Explorer underpants during the day and knows to tell her mommy when he has to go to the potty. At night her mother puts one of those disposable training pants on her-- just in case she has an accident. I find this to be odd. The child doesn't have accidents during the day-- she is fully trained at age 3. But her older brother, who is 4 and a half, also uses training pants during the overnight hours. I just don't get it.

Imagine my friend's surprise the other day when I handed her an unopened box of training pants and asked her if she wanted them. She looked at me in shock and asked me "Doesn't your son still need them?"

My son, you see, gave me some problems with the potty training. He was almost 3 years old before he even seemed to understand the concept of using the potty. Then, we had to start off with a potty seat (Fisher Price's The Royal Potty, which I highly recommend by the way). I trained him to use the potty sitting down, which caused a lot of flack from the people around me. But I always used regular underwear on my son-- both night and day. Once we stopped using diapers, there was no point in putting a diaper-like pair of training pants on him. Indeed, the few times I did do it he treated the training pants like a diaper--just wetting in them. And because the training pants are so much more expensive than diapers are, I vowed not to get too "addicted" to them. In fact, the huge unopened box of training pants that I offered to my friend were actually given to me by a neighbor, so I didn't even buy them (and this was a big $30 box).

It never ceases to amaze me how parents rely on training pants when their child is clearly potty trained. Take the case of my friend-- her son will be 5 in a few months. He goes to preschool and he uses the potty without any supervision. Yet at night eh ahs to have a Pull-UP or he will wet the bed. My 3 year old son, the boy who reluctantly began potty training just a few short months ago, usually sleeps through the night-- and he always wakes up dry. The few times he has had to go to the potty in the middle of the night he has toddled into my room and told me so. Of course, my friend with the Pull-Up addicted kids usually sends her kids to bed with a sippy cup of water-- a definite no no if you want your child to wake up dry. I usually cut of my kid's fluid consumption a couple of hours before bed time.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with training pants-- in fact, they are a great option when you're on the go and your child has an accident. I just think people tend to rely on them for far too long these days. Besides the friend I am referring to, I know of several 3, 4 and even 5 year old neighborhood children who still wear training pants to bed. Some of the parents even admit that their kids wake up dry, but they just "know" that if they take away the Pull-Ups the kid will wet the bed. How do they "know" this without giving it a try? I wonder will these kids still be wearing training pants when it's time to go to a friend's house for that first sleepover? How humiliating would that be?

If you are having trouble with potty training your child, consider going cold turkey to an all-underwear regimen. Yes, you will have to wash underwear if your child has an accident. But, in my experience anyway, the accidents are fewer and more far between. And you may just find that this is one of those occasions where it's sometimes better to have some faith in your toddler and take a chance-- he or she just may surprise you!

I am a thirty three year old mother of three. I recently gave birth to my third child, a beautiful and healthy baby girl (weighing 7 lbs. 12 oz. and measuring 21 1/2 inches) named Isabelle Grace. My first child, Nathan Andrew, (weighing 6 lbs. 9 oz. and measuring 19 inches), was born thirteen years ago, when I was just a babe of twenty years. My "middle child", as she so desperately does not want to be referred, Micaela Carlene, was born nine years ago, (weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz. and measuring 21 inches), when I was twenty four and seemingly in my prime for child bearing (being in pretty good shape physically, mentally, and financially).
Looking back over the differences in the three births, I see that much has changed in thirteen years, especially in the area of pain relief for laboring mothers. When I had my first child, epidurals were only for C-sections or extreme situations (at least this it the impression my doctor at the time impressed in me). I had very little pain relief with Nathan, and none at all with Micaela. In contrast, Isabelle came into this world when pain free is the way to be, and I utilized any and all methods of pain relief available to me.

My first childbirthing experience, thirteen years ago, as mentioned, was a long labor (twelve hours). I had some intravenous demerol distributed shortly before Nathan's birth, but that was the extent of relief for me. It helped to slightly dull the pain of the contractions and the episiotomy, and it also helped me to rest between the contractions. No other form of pain relief was even offered to me, and I honestly had to act like I was going to kill someone or break down and cry in hysterics to get that miniscule amount of relief administered to me. Here I was, a twenty year old girl in labor with hardly anything to calm me except a shot of demerol and a vague recollection of lamaze techniques. My grandmother would (and does from time to time) tell me that I'm crazy for complaining, and honestly, she's right. The pain wasn't excruciating; I can think of many more scenarios where people experience pain at a much higher level and go on to survive. I certainly survived and even went on to have two more children. My grandmother "had seven children, five of them sections, and the only thing they offered was ether....NO ONE wants ether!" she lovingly tells me. I really don't know how women today would survive her experiences!

My second childbirthing experience was nine years ago, and for that birth, there was simply no time for any pain reliever or an epidural to be administered. I was induced for this labor, and shortly thereafter, my first daughter, Micaela, was ready to be born. She tells me she "didn't like drugs" so she came "rushing out". By the time I felt enough pain to complain about, she was well on her way to being born. I do remember the pain of this birth a bit more than Nathan's birth, but I was also a bit more mature and more aware of my body at this time. I actually survived childbirth with NO pain medication whatsoever. Au natural. My grandmother was very proud!

My third and latest birth experience was this July - just seven short weeks ago, and the experience is still fresh in my mind. It was my first encounter with a practically pain free birth, and while I appreciate the efforts of modern medicine, I ultimately do have mixed feelings about the epidural.

Epidurals are very common nowadays and highly recommended by most women who have had them. They seem to be all the rage. My friends were all about them, swearing they were the way to go - the best thing you could do for your comfort and your sanity. Even perfect strangers would walk up to me while I was shopping for baby items and fill me in on their effortless birthing experiences. I heard tales of women playing euchre during labor, having laughs with family members as the contractions flew on by...of babies effortlessly emerging from the womb. It seemed too good to be true. How in the world was this possible? I had initially set my mind on doing it the old fashioned way, just as I had with Micaela, but the thought of a virtually pain free birth was very inviting, and I started to have second thoughts about my decision as visions of euchre playing danced in my head.

My doctor was absolutely wonderful and I trusted him one hundred percent. He not an advocate for or against the epidural; he left the decision solely up to me and my husband (me being, obviously, the main decision maker for this particular issue). He informed us on the risks and benefits and in no way tried to sway us one way or the other. Like most doctors today, he was concerned for my comfort and the safety of my baby. He never left the hospital, even though it looked like I was going to go well into the next day before I gave birth ( I was induced at 12:45 p.m. and Isabelle was born at 11:10 p.m.). I had told him to go home to his wife, have some dinner, and we'd call if things changed, but he stayed on like a trooper!

After about 8 hours of light labor, I had requested a pain reliever, and nubain was the drug administered. I liked the nubain, even the "drunken" feeling that I got that many women do not like. It made me very talkative and really took the edge off of the contractions. I could still feel when I was having them, but I really didn't feel in any significant pain when I was having them for about an hour. Eventually, though, the nubain and the happy feeling wore off and the pain became more frequent and more extreme. I broke down and requested the epidural be given as soon as possible.

The insertion of the epidural catheter did not hurt at all, and my doctor was wonderful about guiding me through the process and keeping me calm and prepared for what was coming next. There was no pain involved in this at all for me. My husband, on the other hand, experienced some mild mental trauma after seeing such a large needle getting ready to be inserted into his wife's spine! He tried his best to hide the emotion on his face so as to not scare me! As I was having contractions, I did not notice at all.

Once the epidural was in, I was hooked up to heart monitors, as the blood pressure can rise due to the medication. My blood pressure did increase, but only slightly, and my nurse assured me that it was nothing to be alarmed about. Just about the time I got hooked up to everything and resumed my position on the bed, I felt some overwhelming pressure. It was already time to push!

The epidural sped up my delivery significantly, but I was not free of pain, as so many of my friends and those complete strangers with huge smiles on their faces had promised me. I could feel pressure, but could not feel the baby coming out of me. I felt a warm, sharp pain in my upper right thigh, and I was shaking pretty badly. The most pronounced shaking was in my jaw, but there was some shaking in my legs and hands as well. My husband was pretty freaked out by this and has since lovingly referred to me numerous times as Catherine Hepburn.

At no time could I NOT feel my legs or toes, which is a good thing in my opinion, and sensation was back in no time. I was able to stand and walk to the wheelchair and then to my bed within the hour. I understand that many women are unable to feel their legs or toes for hours. This was not so in my case. I also understand this is due to the amount and the type of medicine administered.

A factor that I did not even consider prior to the birth of this child was the possible extra expenses incurred in birth. I had estimated paying two thousand dollars, the amount of my deductible (which is on the high side), for my prenatal care, hospital stay, and delivery. Not having any major pain relief with the previous two children, I never had to consider the cost of the epidural or if my insurance would or would not cover it.

They, unfortunately, did not. I now owe my doctor four hundred and seventy five dollars more than I had anticipated, which really strained the budget! I do regret not communicating with my insurance company or my doctor's office prior to the birth concerning the cost of pain medication, but as I had made up my mind to do it naturally or with minimal pain relief, and no epidural, I neglected to do so.

So, to sum it up, there were elements of having an epidural that I failed to explore before requesting one - the side effects, the cost, and really, the necessity. Pain free sounds so wonderful, but nothing is technically pain free. I think it had been such a long time since my epidural-advocating friends had actually experienced childbirth that they forgot some of these issues, or that these glowing new mothers had simply forgotten the negative aspects of their birthing experiences. Everyone made the epidural seem so inviting, and I fell prey to their praises.

I gave birth twice without an epidural, and my children came into the world healthy, and I'm no worse off for not having one. Now that I've had one and experienced it to the fullest, I would definitely think twice before requesting another epidural.

I would highly recommend to anyone considering an epidural to be sure to weigh the benefits of epidurals and see if your insurance company actuall covers them. Had I knownmy epidural was not covered and would be an out of pocket expense, I would not have opted for it. While pain free may be the way to be for some, it came at too high a cost for me.

By Brandi M. Seals

It is often hard to keep your child entertain when he or she is stuck indoors all day long due to bad weather. However, if you have a few standby activates that can be done indoors you are ahead of the game.

Games like hide and seek can easily be played indoors. Just remind your child not to run inside. Another great alternative is a game called hide the penny. This is a Christmas time favorite in my family that always kept the kids entertained. Some must hide a penny in a designated room, and then everyone else must try to find it. With hints of hot and cold, the penny is eventually found and now it is someone else’s turn to hide it.

Or, let your son or daughter put on a concert. Let her pick out a song and then work out a dance routine for it. Don’t forget to encourage the use of costumes. This whimsical activity will distract anyone from the bad weather outside.

If you prefer something a little more calm, why not do an art project? Kids can finger paint a masterpiece or use glue, glitter and macaroni to create a one of a kind macaroni collage.

Bake cookies together or have your children help make their own meal. Let them pick what they want to eat and then tell them how to make it. Not only will it give them something to do, they will also learn kitchen safety and maybe some cooking skills. Just be sure to give a helping hand.

Want to stick to sandwiches instead? That is fine. You can teach your kids how to make play dough. It is easy to make and uses common ingredients that are probably already in your pantry.

Play Dough Recipe

1 cup flour
1 cup warm water
2 tsp cream of tarter
1 tsp oil
1/4 cup salt
Food coloring of your choice

Combine all ingredients in a large sauce pan, except the food coloring. Once the dough comes together, mix in the food coloring. Remove the dough from the pan and knead it several times until it has a smooth texture. Let the dough cool before the kids play with it. Store it in a plastic bag or air tight container.

Play dough isn't the only kid friendly item you can make. Cook up a batch of clay. Once done, the kids can mold shapes in the clay. Allow it to air dry overnight until it is rock hard. Later they can paint their clay creation any way they like.

Cornstarch Clay

1 cup cornstarch
2 cups salt
1 1/3 cups water

Combine the cornstarch and2/3 cup of water. Set aside the mix. Combine 2/3 cup of water and the salt. Heat salt-water mix in a saucepan until it reaches a boil. Then add in the cornstarch mix. Once mixed, remove from heat and knead lightly.

This recipe makes about 3 cups of clay. Any clay you want to save for later use can be sealed up in a plastic bag or stored in an air tight container.

There are several other activities that you and your child could do. Read her a story. Let her pick the book and then read it to her. Look at the pictures together and talk about the story. What did she like? What didn’t she like? If your child is old enough, why not have him read you story. He can have fun working on his reading skills. Help with any words that are tough to read.

Watch a movie together. Make it a whole event. Snuggle up with a bowl of popcorn, some juice and a blanket and pop in a movie you will both enjoy. I suggest Ice Age or Shrek. Both these appeal to adults as well as children.

If all else fails, you can always bust out the board games. The game of Memory is always a hit as are Hungry Hungry Hippos and checkers. Keep a stock pile of board games on hand as they will give you an automatic chance to bond with your kid. Just remember, they are just kids. Why not let them win and get a boast of confidence.

By Christina VanGinkel

With kids big and small, from infant to teenage years, we often hear how important spending family time together is. And it is very important. Just as important in my humble opinion though, is one on one time that parents should spend with each of their children. One on one time allows kids to interact with the adults in their lives without having to compete with other family members.

For example, consider your children's personalities. If you have a boisterous child, always talking, always making themselves noticed, and a quiet child, one who just sort of lets life happen, consider how each might act if you spent time alone with each of them. The quiet one might open up, making exchanges that with the other sibling around they never had a chance edgewise to even attempt. The boisterous child would also benefit. Without the other sibling around, they might even calm down a bit, opening up on a more calm level. If you have, a larger family, with a variety of personalities amongst the kids, one on one time takes on even more importance. It lets kids create a relationship with their parents identifying themselves as a unique being, and not just one of the gang.

One on one time allows parents to do activities with each child that others in the family may object to, also. How often have you tried to go to the movies for example, and each child wants to see a different movie that is playing? One on one time can provide a child with the opportunity to make a choice, be it a simple movie choice but still a choice, without competition from his or her siblings at each turn. While competition can be a good thing, when kids are competing for the attention of the adults in their lives, it can be a good thing to occasionally just pull them apart and allow them each access without any competition whatsoever.

Even when competition is not an issue, when both the kids and the adults in a family are good about taking turns, not talking over each other, one on one time can still be good. Not everyone wants to do the same things at the same time, whether it is a different movie, a different restaurant, a different route to take a walk, even different flavors of ice cream. One on one time allows children the chance to be an individual with their parents. It gives them time to take shape as who they are, not always with the influence of others.

If you think your schedule is already too hectic, to figure in one in one time with each of your children, consider small blocks of time where you might be able to squeeze in some individual quality time. Quality instead of quantity can be the key to making this work, so how about carving out ten or fifteen minutes with each child in the evening before bedtime. In ten minutes you can talk about homework, find out if they need anything signed, even hear about who did what in the lunch line today that made the whole class crack up. Keep in mind that even relatively short individual time should allow kids the chance to open up about anything they want to. By getting kids talking about the mundane tasks that make up their days, they will be more apt as time goes by to keep talking about their days, the good, and the bad, the ordinary and the extraordinary.

During this time, make sure the other kids in the family understand that they may not intrude, especially if they want the same respect when it is their turn. In ten minutes you can hear about a child's day, especially when they are not being interrupted every minute by a brother or sister trying to get in their day in the same span of time. During the time you are allotting to each of the kids, the other kids can be doing homework, washing up for bed, reading a book, etc. They should not be spending it doing something that each will feel like they are missing out on something when it is their turn to take their one on one time, such as watching a movie.

If you have a large family, you might think that you cannot accomplish this each day. Maybe you cannot. Then do it when you can, as some one on one time is definitely better than none at all.

Just how do you pick a baby name? Along with the purchase of baby furniture, cute little outfits and deciding whether to use cloth or disposable comes picking a name for that new family member. Some people choose to pick the name this way. They look at the baby when it's born and say "She/he looks like a ..." This is how my sister in law and brother in law pick their baby names. They went to China and adopted a baby girl from there. They had no names in mind, but decided on Lily when they got a glimpse of her. Of course she had a Chinese name that was picked by the orphanage, but it was "Autumn Rain" in Chinese. The workers at the orphanage tend to name the child something significant that has to do with the way they were found or the way they look. My niece was abandoned and found outside in the rain in the month of October by orphanage workers.

I prefer to be a bit more organized, armed with a list of names than to wait till the last possible minute to name my child. On the other hand, some people can't decide what to name the child and the baby goes begins it's life without a name for the first week or two without a name and without an identity.

The thing is that you need to pick out a name that is not cutesy or odd or anything because you will be using it a lot! I remember when my oldest was a little girl and thinking, it is a good thing I really like the name I gave her, because I am sure calling her quite a bit. What about naming your bouncing baby boy after your old uncle Ebenezer? I would advise against it. Think how much he will be teased when he reaches school. So it's best not to choose a name just to please a family member. We named our youngest Hannah after an aunt on my husband's side. Her name was Joanna in English and in German j's are pronounced with y's so we just dropped the jo and thus came up with Hannah (this was before the name became popular though) so sometimes this does work, but not all that often.

Trendy names are cool, but in a class of ten Emilys will your daughter really stand out? Also you will not want to name your child something that can spell a word such as Catherine Alyssa Taylor (CAT), although I went to school with a guy that hated his first name (James) whose initials were JET and thus he was known as such.

Another thing you might want to consider is how the baby's name rings with yours and its last name. Rhyming is not good as well as parents trying to be cute by naming their child Sandy Beech or Holly Wood. Biblical names are cool as long as there are not too off the wall as well (our oldest daughter's name is Leah).

Name meanings can be important to some people. Leah got named her name because I like the name, not because of what it meant (it means weary). There are a lot of other issues to consider when picking out a name for baby than just the name's meaning. Things like the short form of the name can be important to some. There are a lot of names that I like but am not too crazy on the short form of the name. These include names like Matthew or Samantha. We all know people that are named these names and these people are usually called by the shortened form. Also you might want to think about a unisex name such as Taylor or Presley (I happen to know both boys and girls with that name).

It is funny how we associate names with past events too. If someone that we had a run-in (good or bad) with is named Josh (ie if he was your first boyfriend) would you want to name your son that? Or remember that girl named Abby that always picked you when you were in grade school, why would you want to envoke such memories every day?

You will find that everyone has an opinion about the name you choose if you tell them ahead of time. My sister-in- law made the mistake of telling her sister-in-law a name that they had chose for their first child and well the name ended up being 'stolen' by the other family. To avoid this it is best to keep the name to yourself and take all the suggestions, smile and thank them and do what you want to do. Do your research on the Internet or at the Library (there are tons of sites and books that can help you), carry around a little book and if you hear a great name, jot it down. Remember that the name will be with the person all of its life and most importantly, it's your child and half the fun of having a baby is naming it!

I have often heard it said that once a baby is born, nothing will ever be the same. This is very true and the first thing to change will be our sleep patterns. There may be some "restful years" between the birth and the baby's marriage (yes, that's tongue-in-cheek!) but there are many nights that a parent will need to get used to simply not having much sleep if any.

The first time my own sleep patterns changed drastically is as soon as my daughter came home from the hospital. She was a colicky baby after the first few months and I found that I needed to have the same mixed up sleeping patterns or I was out of luck! When she got a little older but still needed feeding in the middle of the night, I found many nights that not only was she hungry at 2 a.m. but she wanted to stay up and party at that time, too! I wasn't ready to don a party hat at that time of night, so I recall being exhausted often during that time period.

When that phase of a baby's life matures and they sleep all the way through the night more often, fear not, there are plenty more 2 a.m. parties to look forward to. There will be nights when the child is sick and you will be sitting up for hours on end with them. I never thought of this as a negative thing and I didn't mind it, but many people can't afford to spend the night awake if they will have to head off for work in the morning, as one example.

There will be many nights that you may actually get some sleep. And *then* comes the day that the child was waiting for and you were dreading for years; they have a license. The sleepless nights now will come when they're out in their car (or yours!) most likely being good, but that doesn't help a parent to sleep! Most of the insomnia time is used wondering how your little baby could be 16 years old and out past curfew with a car!

But we get over that. We get over that just in time to have the dating start. Suddenly "the baby" starts staying out longer and the sleepless nights are spend wondering how long your "little one" will even be living under the same roof with you now.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though, and we will go back to the problem of a baby or toddler not sleeping well. One thing that many experts will suggest is that you should try grabbing a nap when the baby or toddler does the same. It works for many people but I could never really rest in the middle of the day. That's really too bad because I think it may have helped me!

If the baby is sleeping from 1:00 in the afternoon until 2:30, for example, use the time to lie down and rest whether or not you actually fall asleep. It isn't the same as 7 or 8 hours in a row, but you may find it very beneficial.

Some people may suggest trying to keep your baby awake during the busy part of the day so that they will sleep better during the night. This may work for some babies, but in my own experience, a lot of babies can doze off no matter what happens to be going on around them. It is not guaranteed that he or she will stay awake just because there's a television or music blaring and the rest of the family is rushing in and out of the room.

If the baby does indeed stay awake during the busy time of day, keep things very low-key at bedtime. Keep the lights turned low and have a calm atmosphere. If he or she is old enough for a bedtime story, keep that a "quiet-time activity" as well. This will be teaching that bedtime is a time to stay calm. A warm bath is often as relaxing to children before bedtime as it is for adults.

One thing you will most likely be facing when it comes to sleep patterns is whether you want to let the child "cry it out" and establish sleep patterns that way. This isn't, however, recommended, for babies under half a year of age. Although there's a division over this between pediatricians, I could never personally do this. I always wanted my daughter to know that I was there. I didn't pick her up or allow her to get up on her own when she was younger, but "crying it out" never sounded like a good solution to me.

At some point in the last few decades, some time after fathers were first allowed in the delivery room and the present, labor and delivery turned into a spectator sport. Pregnancy is a joyous time not only for the expecting mother or couple, but also for the extended family, friends, and acquaintances. The etiquette lines are clearly blurred, though, quite possibly more than for any other social situation we, as humans, encounter.

Most reasonable adults and many medical experts agree that a pregnant mother's wishes is really the only thing that matters when deciding who is present during labor and delivery. The woman's overall satisfaction of labor is what is important, and part of that satisfaction is dependent upon having her wishes met. Also, the actual physical aspects of labor can be adversely affected by a woman experiencing unneeded aggravation. If a woman desires to labor alone, clearly having her labor turned into a standing-room only event is going to impact her labor's progression and her health and well being. All too often, though, laboring mothers do not have their wishes met, and this is as much the result of a failure for pregnant moms to vocalize their wishes as it is a function of friends and relatives simply overstepping their boundaries either due to excessive joy or just sheer lack of manners.

If you have a vision for how you want your labor to be and who you want to be present, it is important to make those wishes known before your contractions start. You cannot depend on a sometimes understaffed maternity ward to play referee for you or to always abide by your wishes. If you are planning a hospital delivery and go into labor on a weekend, it will likely be free season for any visitor who wants to enter the maternity area.

It is a sad commentary on social manners when the labor and delivery of a cousin, niece, or even daughter-in-law, becomes a presumed automatic right of passage for the uninvited individual. Receiving a phone call from a relative of a laboring woman is not enough to qualify as an actual invitation. It is baffling at how an "invitation" from anyone other than the laboring mother can be misconstrued as an invite to show up at the hospital. In a day and age when children and babies are often excluded from family celebrations such as weddings, it seems logical that most adults should be excluded from family celebrations that involve birth. Some people prefer small adult-only weddings, some people prefer quiet, private births. Chances are if you weren't invited to the conception, there is a small probability you would be invited to the birth.

Part of the confusion about appropriate etiquette stems from the fact that, for many women, a crowded labor and delivery room is desirable. Many women, even experiencing the pain of labor and the fashion mishap of hospital gowns, relish the attention. Some women do not, however, so people can get confused because every friend, sibling, or relative that they have seen in labor has had stadium-seating. Many people automatically assume every woman wants a small army of people standing by for her baby's grand entrance.

If you are pregnant and know what type of labor experience you desire, make your wishes known. If you want someone to attend and that person is not comfortable, respect that decision. If you know someone who is pregnant and you are eagerly awaiting the baby's arrival, do not automatically assume you are or will be invited to the hospital. If the mother did not personally verbally ask you to come when she goes into labor, don't show up! It's common sense really. If a relative of the laboring mother calls you, even the woman's mother, to announce the mother's progress, do not automatically assume that counts as an invite. Unless a pregnant mother told you days, or perhaps, weeks in advance, do not assume you have reserved seating at the impending labor and delivery. Do not be intrusive. Stay home or go to see a movie. Even showing up at the hospital and not coming into the labor and delivery room presents problems. Word almost always gets back to the mother, and the last thing an expectant mother needs on what should be the happiest day of her life, is the crippling feeling that her 14-hour labor is progressing too slowly for visitors outside.

Believe it or not, labor requires intense focus and concentration, the distraction of uninvited visitors can be very detrimental to the health and well being of the expectant mother and possibly even the newborn. There are many situations in life where invitations are required for attendance, the birth of a baby should be no different.

As most new parents will tell you, it is perfectly common for new babies to wake up during the night- sometimes several times. While this can be frustrating to the sleep-deprived family just getting adjusted to the idea of having an infant, it's also normal. But it does help to know that at some point in the future, this behavior will stop. Your baby will eventually sleep through the night. Knowing when and how to speed the process along will assist you immensely in coping with the nighttime hours in the meantime.

Typical sleeping schedules
The key to how long a baby will sleep lies in how often they need to be fed. While a newborn may wake up for feeding every few hours, a six-month old will probably sleep for about six hours before he or she is hungry again. Generally, most babies sleep through the night before they hit the age of one year old.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. If your baby is over one year old and is still not sleeping through the night, don't get upset- this happens to a certain percentage of children, and it's not abnormal. What it does mean is that you may have to step in with a few techniques to help make the child more comfortable and to ensure yourself a good night's rest.

Helping your baby to sleep through the night
Many of the tips for helping your baby to sleep through the night are similar to those given when older children or even adults have insomnia. The important thing is not to stress out and to develop a bedtime routine that works for both you and your child.

It's important to regulate the child's feeding time according to when you want them to fall asleep and when you want them to wake up. Since most babies wake up due to hunger, you should consider putting them to bed early, then waking them up a few hours later for an extra feeding in order to help them sleep through the night. For example, if your three-month old baby wakes up hungry every few hours, feed them around 8 pm and then put them to bed. Stay up yourself if you have activities to do (or catch a short nap and set an alarm). Wake the baby up for a feeding at 11 pm or midnight, and they should sleep into the morning with fewer disturbances.

As your child gets older, he or she will be more prone to spurts of energy and playful behavior. That's why it's important with babies over six months of age to do quiet activities before bedtime. Read to the child, or listen to music quietly together during preparations for bed. The baby will learn to associate this calming-down practice with sleep, and should have a much more peaceful night.

Another important step in getting your child to sleep through the night is to set a consistent schedule. Babies should be put to bed at the same time each evening and woken up at the same time each morning to avoid confusing their systems and to ensure that they are tired at the right times every day.

What to do when a baby cries at night
If your baby is waking himself up crying at night, your first step is to investigate and see whether there's a certain issue causing the problem. A baby will sometimes cry for no reason, but often there is something such as a noise, a temperature change, or a discomfort that is causing the tears. Check for lights and sounds that may be disturbing the baby. Also make sure that he or she doesn't need a diaper change or a feeding, or that the room is not too hot or too cold. If the baby seems particularly fussy, check for a temperature or other signs of illness or physical discomfort.

It's important to respond to a crying baby early if you're expecting them to fall back asleep; the longer you let the child cry, the more disturbed their sleep is going to be. If, on the other hand, the child is crying for no discernible reason, you may have to make the decision to let him "cry himself to sleep." Most parents are uncomfortable with this, and it can help to set a timer for five to ten minutes so that you can go into the baby's room if they have not stopped crying by the time it goes off.

Getting your child to sleep through the night can be stressful for new parents and experienced ones alike. But with a little patience and the right techniques, you shouldn't have to worry; it's a natural process that will work itself out in the end.
-by bjp

By Misti Sandefur

Being pregnant is exciting, but what makes the pregnancy even more exciting is setting up the nursery together. Pick a time when both your husband and you can spend some quality time together. On that day, liven up your baby's nursery by adding new furniture, decorations and etc. This time will be a special time -- a time you will both cherish.

Begin by choosing the colors. Soft bright colors will add a warm touch and attract your precious little one's attention. Some colors you may go with are: a soft blue (if you know the baby is going to be a boy), a soft or brighter color pink (if you know the baby is going to be a girl), yellow (another good color for a girl), peach or green.

Many new parents also decorate their nursery with a theme of some sort, but make sure the theme you choose blends in well with the colors. Or, decide on a theme first and then decide on colors to go with the theme you both choose. Some themes could be: Winnie-the-Pooh, Noah's Ark, baby Snoopy, butterflies, sports, barnyard, teddy bears, sheep or Disney. Just be careful when choosing a theme, because as your child grows they may want something different when they're old enough or start liking things like Spongebob, Blue's Clues or etc. With that said, be sure to decorate where things can easily be changed later down the road.

You both agree on the colors and theme for your baby's nursery, so now all you need is furniture, decorations and etc. to liven things up for the baby when he or she arrives. Following are some things you can liven up your baby's nursery with.

Your baby will need a crib and bedding for a comfortable place to sleep. Choose a crib you both like, and a crib that will fit within your budget. Then, after choosing a crib, shop for the bedding. If possible, try to get bedding that will match the colors and/or theme you decided on earlier. The bedding should consist of: bumper pad, fitted crib sheet, a quilt and/or blanket, and a dust ruffle (optional, but adds a finishing touch).

A dresser for baby's clothes will be needed. A small, four drawer dresser will do for the first few stages of baby's life, but as your baby grows a bigger dresser, or just another dresser to match the current one, will be needed. A cherry or oak finish will go with any colors you choose.

Your next investment, after the crib and dresser, should be a changing table. When choosing your changing table, make sure to pick out one with drawers. Drawers provide convenience for storing diapers, changing pads, wipes and etc.

Every nursery needs a rocking chair! Babies love to be rocked, and rocking your baby provides a special bond between baby and you. Rocking will also provide your baby with a sense of security and safety.

Your nursery will need privacy, so curtains and a blind should be top priority. When deciding on blinds, choose a color that matches your nursery colors, or, if they are no colors that go well with the nursery colors, then you can always go with white or almond color blinds -- they should go well with any color and theme.

Since you have blinds, a topper curtain would look really cute. Or, if you prefer, you can select long tie back curtains. As you're shopping for curtains you may find some that goes with the theme you've selected. An alternative -- if you can't find what you're looking for -- find material to match the theme of the nursery and make your own curtains.

Some other things you and your spouse may want to consider are the following accessories: a mobile for baby's crib, soft wall decorations to match the colors and/or theme, baby monitor (to hear baby when you're not in the room), a sleep sheep that plays soothing sounds (mother's heartbeat, springtime rain, ocean surf, etc.), wall shelves (for knickknacks, books and etc), diaper pail, small lamp, hamper, wall clock, wall art to match colors and/or theme and/or wallpaper border to match colors and/or theme.

Finally, you want your nursery to be safe for baby when he or she starts crawling and walking. In order to provide a safe environment for baby and piece of mind for you, you need to baby proof your nursery. Here are some accessories for baby proofing your nursery: safety gate, door-knob covers, outlet covers, drawer locks (for dresser and changing table), finger-guard for doors, furniture wall straps (to prevent tipping), window stop (especially if baby's room is on a top level), smoke detector, carbon monoxide detector and edge or corner guards.

Now, step back with your spouse and admire the nursery you've both created together. This is the time when you both should really start feeling the excitement. Keep in mind, as your baby grows the nursery themes and colors may change over time, and you'll almost certainly add new furniture and accessories too. But, for now, you should have a safe and delightful nursery for your new addition.

By Misti Sandefur

Is your baby drooling, chewing on things, cranky and not sleeping? Don't worry, because it's normal when baby starts teething. And yes, when you're baby hurts you do too. If baby is unhappy so are you. Because your baby is unhappy, you do everything you know how to do to try and make your baby happy again.

The teething process for babies will usually start at the age of 6 months. Once your baby starts teething he or she will drool, chew on his or her hands or other items, and, at times, he or she may become cranky and not sleep well. However, there are things you can do for your baby to ease his or her discomfort.

Some of the following resolutions are home remedies -- remedies your grandparents used. If you're hesitant about any of the suggestions given below, check with your baby's pediatrician first.

Some common things you can do for your baby when he or she is teething, is give him or her a teething ring or acetaminophen (Tylenol). The teething ring should be cold, and you can do this by placing it in the refrigerator or freezer for a few minutes. Also, when investing in teething rings for your baby, buy only the teething rings without gels in them.

Once your baby is old enough, switching him or her to semi-solid foods can help. The foods should be soft (like applesauce) and cold.

Give your baby a clean, wet wash cloth to chew on. Before giving your baby the wash cloth, place it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Furthermore, when the wash cloth gets warm and you need to re-refrigerate it, make sure you rinse the wash cloth out before giving it back to your baby to chew on.

Now-a-days some doctors and even you may frown on this solution, but think about it before you do. "Think about what?" you ask. Think about the fact that your grandparents and parents made it just fine. Now, here's what I'm talking about... Rub a little bit of whiskey on your baby's gums with your finger. (Make sure your finger is clean.) If you have doubts about this one, and your grandma is still alive, just ask her about some of the home remedies she used for teething and other things back when her kids (your mom or dad) were babies. Or better yet, ask any woman age 70 or up about home remedies -- you may be surprised at what she'll tell you.

Another home remedy for teething is chamomile tea. Soak a wash cloth in chamomile tea and place in the freezer for a few minutes, and then give it to your baby to chew on.

With a clean finger, rub a little olive oil on your baby's gums.

Teething biscuits can be bought in your local grocery store. Just be sure to watch your baby so he or she doesn't bite off a large piece and choke on it. Plus, an alternative to teething biscuits is a frozen waffle. Again, watch that your baby does not bite off a large piece and choke.

Wash your hands, and then gently massage your baby's gums with your finger. Also, it wouldn't hurt to trim your fingernails, so you don't accidentally scratch your baby's gums.

Find some toys or an activity and play with your baby. Playing with your baby will divert him or her from the discomfort, and it will also give you both some bonding time.

Invest in terry cloth toys for your baby to chew on. Before giving the toy to your baby, place it in the refrigerator for a few minutes.

Finally, consider purchasing a teething rail for your baby's crib.

You will notice that I suggested putting a lot of things into the refrigerator or freezer, and the reason is because the cold usually numbs the baby's gums decreasing the discomfort.

Some babies are lucky, because with some babies the teething process doesn't bother them, but there are babies that will become cranky and not sleep well. My first born was one of those lucky babies, but with my boys it was a different story. Both of my boys had trouble sleeping at night, they chewed on everything in sight and cried a lot, but when I applied the things mentioned about it usually helped relieve them and me. I hope you're one of those parents with the lucky baby, but just in case you may need them, you can always use the resolutions mentioned above.

Best wishes to both you and your new addition! Oh yes, one more thing, congratulations on your new baby, and enjoy him or her, because they grow up too fast.

By Christina VanGinkel

I had some shopping to do yesterday. I just needed a few quick items from a grocery store. My fourteen-year-old son and my three-year-old grandson were with me. My son decided he would wait in the truck and my grandson came in with me. As we headed to the checkout about five minutes after entering the store, we got in line right behind a younger woman with three children. There were only a few lanes open and each one had quite a long line of customers extending out from them. I just got in the lane closest to the doors I had come in through, which happened to be the lane with the woman and her children.

One child, about a year old, was sitting in the cart's provided seat, strapped in. One, about two or three years old, roughly the same age as my grandson, was sitting in the back of the cart with quite a few groceries. The third child, again guessing at the age but I would say he was about five, was standing next to the cart. We were fourth and fifth in line respectively, so I ended up standing behind her for about ten minutes.

In those ten short minutes, I watched the older child that was standing next to the cart pinch each of the children in the cart several times, to the point that they screamed. He also punched them both, including punching the little one in the cart's seat right in the stomach as the mother turned to pick up a magazine from the rack next to the aisle. He continued his barrage of hitting, slapping, and pinching without a single voiced command from his mother except for her to tell him to stop once. He never even acknowledged her.

I was beginning to assume that this child had a mental health issue, and maybe she was just at her wits end too, making it easier to avoid confrontation with the child. Personally, I did not accept even this scenario, as allowing any child, even a mentally ill one to punch a younger child in the stomach as hard as he had done to the little girl in the cart is just not acceptable. Then when he asked for a bottle of soda, and a candy bar a few minutes after his barrage had started, he spoke clearly and concisely, and did not appear to have any issues. She allowed him to get both.

She eventually checked out, and headed out of the store. At this point, the checkout person turned to me and just shook his head. He stated openly that the woman who had just checked out lived in the same apartment building as him. He said she let the older boy get away with anything on an ongoing, continual basis. He related in the few minutes that it took me to check out, the previous day's events, when he was at the apartment's play area with his own child and the little boy had been throwing rocks and handfuls of sand at the other children playing, including his own siblings, and she had just sat there. No reaction he said, once or twice, she quietly told him to stop, but never once actually taking the rocks away from him, or trying to get him involved in playing with something else. When he did ask her to push him on a swing, he said she just sat there and told him he was a big boy and could swing himself.

I write this in hopes that if this mother or another parent similar to this reads this that you understand that allowing small children to wreak havoc, to play with no regards to the others around, will only lead to bigger problems. If that mother had simply taken the rocks out of her son's hands, sat down and played with him herself, maybe directing his energy elsewhere, and telling him no, that what he was doing was not acceptable, it might not have fixed it all, but it sure would not have hurt.

My own children, and now my grandson, are high-energy people, always moving from task to task with wild abandon. Guidance goes a long ways, and while parents and caregivers cannot always be right there 24/7, it is their responsibility to keep their kids from hurting one another, and others. If this child was acting out like this on a continual basis, maybe there is some underlying condition, but then it is still the adult's responsibility to try to keep things under control, and to keep her other children safe. Take the time to play with your children. Guide them in their actions. Praise them when they are playing nice, and steer them in another direction when their actions might not be quite so positive. In the end, that is the root of what this task called parenting is all about!

Breastfeeding in public does not have to be a source of anxiety for new moms, but all too often that is what it becomes. As much as you might insist that you will never breastfeed your baby in public, if you plan on leaving your house at all during your baby's first year, you will likely eventually need to nurse in public at some point. Believe me, sometimes it is simply too hot in July to sit in the car and nurse your baby. Usually a gradual transition to nursing in public makes new moms most comfortable. I managed to avoid nursing in public for about the first three months after my daughter was born, then one day at the car dealership getting a routine oil change, I had no other choice but to nurse in public. To get used to the idea, I simply went outside from the very comfortable, air-conditioned waiting area, and sat down alone on a bench and used a baby blanket partially draped over my shoulder to provide coverage. After just a few times of nursing in public, I became a pro and was never uncomfortable again. I couldn't believe how quickly I became confident with nursing in public.

There are some helpful hints to keep in mind to make nursing your baby in public easier:

1. It is helpful to utilize available resources for nursing moms. Many larger department stores have rooms exclusively devoted to nursing mothers. You can sit in relative comfort and nurse without being disrupted.

2. If you can't find a room designated for nursing mothers, you can utilize a dressing room of a store that isn't busy. This is a good option if you are not comfortable sitting in a busy area where people will see you.

3. Most malls have several seating options throughout the mall, and you could easily use any of the numerous oversized chairs or benches that malls have. Of the numerous times (probably hundreds) I nursed in public, I never received one negative comment. Usually most people can't even tell the difference between a nursing baby and a baby who is simply sleeping.

4. Buy a baby sling. Most cloth baby carriers allow a mother to nurse a baby while the baby is in the sling. This provides coverage for the mother and makes breastfeeding incredibly convenient. Baby slings enabled me to nurse virtually any place that I was. I could walk throughout a grocery store and continue to shop and nurse simultaneously.

5. Wear a cardigan or shirt with buttons over a cotton shirt. You can easily lift your shirt to nurse and still have coverage from the top layer of clothing.

6. You will absolutely need a bra designed specifically for nursing mothers. Nursing bras enable you to quickly unfasten the front portion, making nursing in public very easy.

7. Many companies also make clothing specifically for nursing mothers. Such clothing provides coverage and makes nursing easy.

8. Avoid using restrooms to nurse. Using a restroom to nurse a baby really isn't a suitable option. You will basically have only one seating option, which won't be comfortable! The sound of running water and flushing toilets can also be disruptive to your baby, so you would be much better off finding a quiet area in the mall.

9. Even nursing on a plane can be incredibly easy too. The few times that my daughter and I flew, my husband was always with us. We bought a seat for her anyway to make sure that in the event of an emergency we would all have an oxygen mask. So, when I needed to nurse her, which was literally the entire 5 hours of a cross-country flight, I simply sat in the window seat. If you are traveling alone and seated in close proximity to strangers, do realize that most reasonable adults would clearly rather sit next to a content nursing baby, than a crying baby. After our cross-country flight, nearby passengers commented that they didn't even realize a toddler was on board.

10. Occasionally you might encounter someone eager to cause a confrontation. Quietly remind such an individual of your rights as a nursing mother (research and know your rights in the state you live or the area where you will be traveling). If the person continues to harass you, you can always notify mall security or the appropriate authorities wherever you happen to be.

It isn't as easy to find someone to watch your children as it was a century ago. In the "good old days" when our ancestors lived, you could hire any teenager off the street and be reasonably assured that you wouldn't come home to find our child hurt or your home destroyed. In these days, however, when we are all more aware of public safety and don't trust anyone we don't know very well, it's important to be a bit more picky. Unfortunately, you can't just choose the first eligible babysitter that shows up at your door; odds are that they would indeed be a kind, helpful person, but no one wants to take any chances.

It's always a good idea to choose a person that you know very well, perhaps a cousin, older sibling, or old friend of the family. This way you will have know this individual's personality and can judge what kind of evening your children will have if they are being cared for by this person. For those of you with small babies in the house, make sure the caregiver knows when and what to feed Baby, how to take care of her, what to do if an emergency comes up, and so on. Even if the babysitter in question is a family friend, you will want to go over credentials and what you know about him or her; someone who holds wild parties in whatever location they happen to be staying is probably not the best sitter to choose (unless, of course, their idea of a wild party is a movie and Monopoly).

Don't be afraid to ask friends and neighbors if they know anything about a prospective babysitter. If he or she is a member of your family, such as a distant cousin's daughter or something like that, family may be reluctant to talk about this person's flaws. Friends will be more honest and give you an overall picture of what kind of behavior to expect. Also, if your children seem to have a decent reason for despising or being afraid of this babysitter, it's very important to take this into consideration. Most kids do their best to chase off babysitters and that's to be expected, but if there seems to be a valid distrust or fear it's best to inform the person their services just aren't needed right now.

If grandparents don't mind the extra work, it's always an idea to ask if they can watch your kids for awhile. Children may suffer the slightest bit of boredom if there aren't as many toys or games as they're used to, but you can guarantee your kids' safety and expect a decent report of what is going on. Kids may not be as quick to get in trouble if they know that everything they say and do will be reported to Mom and Dad, and grandparents are a lot more likely to do this than teenagers. Make sure that any babysitter you choose *always* knows they should not take bribes or let kids stray from the rules.

Choosing an older, responsible sibling to watch younger children can have its ups and downs. On the positive side, you know your babysitter's personality better than anyone and can foresee any trouble that may occur. Kids will probably trust a brother or sister more than a stranger, but this can also work against you. If they know that Big Brother has a weakness for something, they may employ the ages-old method of let-me-do-what-I-want-or-I-tell-Mom-and-Dad (fill in the blank). Depending on how well kids know their older siblings, they may offer something he or she likes in exchange for extensive freedom. You'll want to sit everyone down and explain what is acceptable and what's not.

Some parents give babysitters or caregivers the authority to use punishment on their behalf if the need arises. You will want to think very carefully before deciding to do this or not. Their method of punishment may not match yours. Also, if you're not a fan of spanking, you don't want to wonder if a babysitter is punishing your kids by spanking when Mom and Dad don't do that. It is a bit more difficult to choose a sitter if your child is a newborn or a baby as special circumstances need to be taken into consideration. Older kids are able to put themselves to bed and take certain responsibilities, but babies will need to be looked after constantly and you need to find a person who is both willing to do this and capable of doing it.

By Lacie R. Schaeffer

By Christina VanGinkel

Have you ever visited someone in their home with baby in tow, only to realize that their home might be the epitome of a beautiful home, but what it is not is baby proof? I have been on both sides of this fence, though my own home would have to be classified somewhere along the lines of comfortable let us say, instead of beautiful! It is however, not baby proof.

With my youngest child nearly fourteen years old and my grandson now three, somewhere in the last few years, my home turned from a place where it was safe for a baby to be to a battle zone of toys and objects definitely not intended for baby. At three, my grandson enjoys playing with my youngest sons retired Ninja Turtle figures, complete with their assortment of miniature weapons and tools. He also loves marbles and Lego's. The Lego's are of the small type, not the big builder blocks that you might envision a toddler playing with. As I write this even, I see the pattern building. The majority of toys that my young grandson plays with when he is at our home are ones that have been passed down to him from our youngest son. Fun boy toys as we refer to them, not baby toys.

This all became apparent this past week when I was watching my grandson for the day and a friend of mine stopped over with her children. Her youngest child is just a few months past one year old. Not long after we seated ourselves in the living room, I noticed that her baby had something in her mouth. It turned out to be a marble, quickly followed by a tiny plastic sword. We then took a quick inspection of the area to identify what other tiny hazards might be floating around and we ended up with quite a stack of things that we had to put away. Most of it items were toys my grandson had been playing with, but a few things belonged to the adults in the house, such as my own bag of yarn with crochet hooks! Without a baby about, it is easy to forget how quickly they can get into things, and what is safe and what is not. Scissors, a candle, an MP3 player, and a bowl with assorted buttons and other tiny embellishments that I had been sorting through from my scrapbook table were all items we found at a level that she could easily reach.

If you find yourself visiting at a friend's or relative's home do not assume that, the area your child might be playing in is baby proof, even if the people are welcoming, as I was with my friend. When a young child is not constantly underfoot, it is easy for an area to be turned into a space that is not friendly for little mouths and curious fingers.

Even my footstool turned out to be a hazard, as it is a rocker style, and when my friend's daughter pulled herself up onto it, it rocked, and down she fell amidst a blaze of tears. I was actually a bit surprised to realize just how unsafe my home had become for a baby. With my grandson only three, some of the items we moved should not have been about with him even. The scissors for example were of the safety kind, the sort you might find in the average kindergartener's backpack, yet with my grandson's past record of cutting holes in his clothing the last time he got a hold of a pair of scissors, I know better.

Some things though, like my bag of yarn, are often about. When my grandson was smaller, I always made sure to keep it up out of his reach. Now, he loves to sit with his own ball of yarn while I am crocheting and his own giant Q sized hook and try to copy me.

If you are visiting with baby, do not assume an area is safe for baby just because you were invited or they welcomed you warmly. Adults that do not have a baby about, quickly forget just how many common, everyday objects can be hazardous to small children. Take a few minutes to scan the room for dangers, and if your host is not open to moving a few things, making the place safe for baby, keep baby on your lap, making the visit as short as you can. It is up to us to make sure that anywhere we take baby is a safe environment. If it is not, it is our duty to remove them from the space.

From pregnancy through the child rearing we've all gotten advice from basically every person around you that can speak. "Make sure you feed the baby every two hours!" "Don't use baby powder or any kind of ointment when changing diapers." "If you would only practice with your baby, he'll be talking in no time, why my niece was saying 'mama' when she was only five months." You get the idea. Sometimes, though well meaning, your friends and relatives can make you feel like you're a complete imbecile who can't even give birth correctly. Of course, along with the advice you get a dose of past ruminations like "Back when I raised my child we used talcum powder and nothing wrong happened." You know you're receiving outdated advice but since they're family you have to be tactful.

So what to do? Who should you heed? That can be more difficult than you thought and part of that has to do with biases and personal experience. Say you can't stand a certain relative, in-law, or whoever, and despite your best efforts to be diplomatic you and your child wind up meeting them. The baby starts fussing because he or she's tired and then you get the unasked and unwanted advice on how to put the child to sleep.

Now even though you may not like that person, actually valid advice may be offered that you would automatically dismiss. One relative that we disliked asked us once why we didn't put any creams on our boy when we changed his diaper. After all, that was perfectly fine for her children back then. Well, we were told by nurses that creams and powders weren't used anymore (though the care package they gave us after the discharge had plenty of samples). So we disregarded the relative, but later on when our son developed a diaper rash I resorted to light applications of creams and he suffered no ill effects from the creams. Therefore, that relative had a point that we refused to heed. This is a case where you actually have to ask yourself if you are exploring all the options for your child

Then there's the other extreme from the health professionals and book writers, who seem to thrive on coming up with the ultimate nightmare scenarios to frighten parents from leaving the house or losing visual contact with their newborn. Oftentimes, the advices are valid, but many parents will agree there are occasions when the professionals come off as self-knowing and even condescending.

It's really a fine line, and the easy answer is to do your research. But in my experiences I have found contradictions from even the professionals. Back in the hospital, I received two different set of instructions on how to properly bathe my son. One nurse said to start with the groin area and work outward, but another nurse said to start with the head and finish with the groin area. In another example, before the birth of our child we attended these classes taught by nurses and we were told not to overdress our baby (something I have read in the books as well) that all we needed to do since we were in sunny Florida was to just put on a shirt or onesie on the infant. The reasoning was that the hot climate meant that bundling up wasn't necessary. Well in the real world I found that impractical. My baby was born in the winter and for those that don't live in the state the temperature usually drops at night during winter. I remember one evening, it was really cold outside and we felt it indoors. I saw my baby shivering as I was changing his diaper so there wasn't any way I was going to put my infant to sleep with just a onsie. Although I didn't use a heavy blanket, I dressed him warmly, now did the sky fall in? No, my baby was fine, but I did monitor him. This doesn't mean I disregarded the nurses' advice. Now that it's summer, the baby only wears onesies.

Of course there words of wisdom that you absolutely must follow and for discerning which they are, usually I found them to be universal from the pros, friends and family. The key is to know how to listen and using common sense. That means admitting to yourself that you don't have all the answers and the basic thing is they aren't trying to be malicious but just have your child's best interest at heart. It's their delivery that could use some work. I find it best to just thank them or play along and if I have time consider and look into what was told to me. Then there are those moments when you have to be more firm with those that overstep their boundaries and remind them that you are the parent and you know what is best for your child.

One good source we found is from other recent parents who are going through the same situations as us and can offer practical and up-to-date info when it comes to a baby. Basically you have to go to various sources, use common sense and play a bit of trial and error with your child. This doesn't mean to treat your baby like a lab experiment but carefully monitor how she or he reacts. As my spouse recently said, "I just listen to my baby. He'll tell me if something is not right." -- J.L. Soto

By Brandi M. Seals

Sometimes it can be hard to come up with something to do that is fun and exciting for both you and your child. But, with a little thought and imagination you can come up with some excellent adventures to share with your son or daughter.

Really anything you can do with your child will be fun for him or her. Find what he or she is interested in and then find an activity that coordinates with that. For example, if your son loves to play catch, why not watch a baseball game together? If your daughter likes to ice skate, take her to see the Ice Capades or a hockey game. If your child cannot get enough of her finger paints, go to a museum together. The possibilities are endless. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Visit the Zoo
I do not care how old you are, the zoo is always fun. There are animals that you rarely get to see like lions and tigers. There are those that you never knew existed, like the Hoffman sloth or the Polish chicken. And there are those that are always fun to watch, like the spider monkeys. Take your child and learn something new about the various animals at your local zoo.

Visit the Park
Even if you child plays on the swings everyday, she will still enjoy doing it when you are there to supervise. Pack a picnic lunch and head out to your favorite park. Look at the flowers, chase butterflies, or play hopscotch together. Whatever you decide to do, the two of you will share a fun day together. By the way, the picnic does not need to be anything spectacular. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and juice boxes will be just fine.

See a Performance
Is there a performing arts center near you? If so, check to see what child oriented programs they have coming up. You never know what you might find. From performances by Dora the Explorer to the circus, you are bound to find something that will fascinate every child. No performing arts center? Is there maybe a local theatre or community center where you can see a show?

Do Crafts Together
Do you like to scrapbook, decoupage or make collages? Why not get your child involved? He or she will love learning a new skill and hey who cares if they are not that great at it. You will still have great memories of the experience, not to mention a treasure that your child made just for you.

If you are not a crafter, you can still to macaroni collages together or paint a picture to hang on the fridge. Anything that allows your child to be creative should go over well with the youngens.

Rent Videos
If you are stuck inside because your child is sick or there is crumby weather outside, you could rent some videos and watch them together. Be sure to let your children pick out their favorites. Since kids like to watch the same movies over and over again, try to get one that is educational in some way. Maybe they can watch other kids share toys, maybe they pick up some Spanish or maybe they simply see kids behaving well. Whatever it is, try to get videos with a lesson.

Go Ice Skating or Rollerblading
If there is an ice rink or frozen lake or pond nearby, be sure to go ice skating. Your child will learn balance and have a ball going round and round on their skates. If you do not have ice skates and cannot find a place to rent them, your child can still have a great time sliding around on the ice in shoes or boots.

When it is not winter time or there are no ice rinks in town, you can probably find a roller arena or at least a paved parking lot to skate around on. Roller blades can be a low cost investment and loads of fun. Otherwise, stick to the roller arenas where you can rent rollerblades.

If you have an activity that you and your child love to do together, please feel free to share it with the rest of us by commenting on this article.

By Brandi M. Seals

With having children comes the potential to make mistakes that have lifelong consequences. Some are inconsequential; others have a more profound affect. Regardless of how much parents try to stir their kids right or make their lives easier, it is inevitable that every single parent out there will make mistakes; lots of them.

Here are 3 common parenting mistakes to avoid:

1.) Giving incorrect answers
At a certain age children grow curious about the world around them - extremely curious. Everything they see can leave them asking hundreds of questions. Why is the sky blue? Why is grass green? What is that? Why do spiders have so many legs? Their little minds are trying to figure out the world and the way it works. They want to know what everything is, what it does and why it does it. This has left countless parents in a situation where they just do not have an answer. How many people really know that the sky is blue because of something known as Rayleigh scattering? (As light from the sun moves through the atmosphere most of the longer wavelengths pass through, but much of the shorter wavelength light is absorbed by the gas molecules. The absorbed blue light is then radiated outward. Since the blue light seems to come from everywhere overhead, the sky looks blue.)

If a child asks a question and the parent does not know the answer, he or she should never just make something up. You never know how long the child will believe that answer. For example, I was 22 before I discovered the rabbits did not go ribbit. That is right - 22. I never gave it much thought. I had been around rabbits; I never heard them go ribbit. Maybe, they were just quiet rabbits. At some point in my childhood I asked my mom what sound they made and being at a loss, she said the first thing that came to mind - ribbit. Thinking that no harm was done she forgot all about it. Twenty-some years later, I brought it back up after an embarrassing conversation with my fiance on a 17 hour road trip to meet his family.

2.) Pampering the child
It may be nice when a parent can cook, clean, and take care of his or her child's every whim but at some point all that pampering is detrimental. Ever met a 20 year-old that cannot cook (doesn't even know how to boil water), does not know how to do laundry, or any other basic skill that he or she will need through out life? I have. They are funny. They mix light and dark clothes in the wash and then bleaching them all or do not know how to even turn the washer on. It's good entertainment.

Parents not wanting to send helpless lumps out into the world will make their kids do laundry, wash dishes, and cook on occasion. Of course all of this must be introduced after they are mature enough and have enough dexterity to do the task at hand. But, if done well, these children will not only have a sense of accomplishment for being able to do these tasks, but they will also be able to get through life without having to call mommy and daddy at every turn.

3.) Not paying enough attention to the child
Children learn how to communicate by watching those around them communicate as well as trying it out for themselves. They tell jokes, sing songs, and create stories all to entertain their parents and themselves. They crave attention - lots of it. So much so that you may not be able to provide as much attention as they would like. But, if parents set aside the time to spend some quality one-on-one time with their child, the child will be more likely to feel appreciated and content.

The children that must strive to gain their parents' attention will do more and more just to gain some time with a parent. From throwing things, biting, and screaming, children will try anything to get someone's attention. If they learn this is affective, they continue it. To stop this behavior try not to focus so much on the negative things the child is doing and instead praise him or her for what they do right. If the child learns to get attention for being good, he or she will cut down on the bad behavior.

By Misti Sandefur

How many times have you attended a baby shower and bought a gift that turned out to be one of those duplicate gifts? Generally it's not a big deal, because the new parents will either exchange it for something else, or they may keep yours and exchange the others. Even though it may not be that big of a deal to the new parents, it may be a big deal to you, because you thought to yourself, "I wish I had of chosen a different gift -- a gift no one else thought of." Or maybe you thought, "I didn't think anyone else would think of that."

The next time you're invited to a baby shower try giving one of these gifts instead.

1. Diapers. Yes, many others may buy diapers too, but unlike a baby monitor, diaper bag or etc., Diapers are a gift new parents can't get enough.

2. Baby wipes. Like diapers, this is another gift new parents can't get enough of.

3. An instructional or educational DVD. New parents are always open to learning how to care for their baby and etc., and an instructional or educational DVD will help them learn together. Plus, they can always refer back to the DVD if they forget.

4. DVD. New parents are always open to learning how to care for their baby and etc., and an instructional or educational DVD will help them learn together. Plus, they can always refer back to the DVD if they forget.

Following are a few DVDs to consider: "The Happiest Baby on the Block -- The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer" or Bringing Baby Home: The Ultimate Baby Care DVD."

5. Magazine subscriptions (one year subscription). Just like DVDs, magazines are another way to help new parents learn how to care for their baby and more. Magazines will even give new parents tips and advice from other parents and experts.

Here are a few magazines you could give as a gift: "American Baby," "Parents," "Mother and Baby" or "Prima Baby."

6. Classic Pooh keepsake pillow. This pillow includes images of Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore, and it will allow the new parents to record their baby's birth information. Not only is this pillow a keepsake, but it's a gift the new mommy and daddy will treasure forever!

7. A crib quilt will make a beautiful gift, and it will keep baby warm too.

8. Baby wipes warmer. I use to cringe while I used the cold baby wipes on my kids when they were babies. Besides, put yourself in their place, do you like cold things when they're immediately applied to your skin? I didn't think so.

They didn't have the baby wipes warmer when my children were babies (if they did I never found one), but now they do, and I'm sure any new parent will love this. Note: Reviewers say to read and follow the directions in order for it to work correctly, so be sure to pass this information along with your gift.

9. For all you grandparents, aunts and uncles who want to spend a little bit more on the new addition to your family... a changing table for the new parents and baby will be very convenient, and it makes a wonderful gift too.

10. A cradle swing will pacify baby so mommy can get some housework done.

11. Bicycle child carrier. Do mommy and daddy like to ride their bicycles? With this bicycle child carrier mommy and daddy can still enjoy their activity and take baby along too.

12. The automobile bottle warmer will keep baby's formula warm while mommy and daddy are on the road.

13. A gift basket filled with goodies! You can make your own gift basket by buying a small basket, cellophane, a boy, and, of course, the goodies to go in the basket.

Once you've placed the goodies in the basket, wrap the cellophane around the basket and tie it at the top with the bow. Wondering what goodies to place in the basket? Here are a few ideas: Instructional or educational DVDs, instructional books, bottles, receiving blankets, a crib quilt, a thermometer that takes baby's temperature by ear, etc.

Those are just 13 gifts you can consider when shopping for the new parents. There are many other gift ideas out there, but anytime you need some assistance or can't think of anything just refer back to this article. Any new parent is sure to love any of these 13 gifts, and hopefully no one else thought of them. Happy shopping and have fun at the baby shower!

If you are pregnant and are starting to purchase baby gear, you might want to consider baby wearing. Baby wearing is the act of literally "wearing" your baby. Babies love to be held. Being held close to mother in the months following birth eases a baby's transition to the world and helps the baby assimilate to life outside of the womb. Babies who are worn get to view the world from their mother's perspective or the point of view of the person holding them, which can even include dad or grandma.

There are many products on the market that make baby wearing easy and even fashionable. Baby slings enable a mother to carry baby and have her hands free. Baby carriers comes in a variety of styles. Some baby carriers enable a mother to carry her baby in one of several positions including on either hip, in front, or even on her back. Many manufacturers of baby carriers or baby slings offer reasonable return policies in case the size you order does not fit. Also, most companies offer instructional videos or DVDs so that you can actually see how the carrier is supposed to be worn. Baby wearing can be fashionable also. Manufacturers offer many styles and colors. One popular company even offers silk slings for formal occasions and mesh slings for summer months that not only keep your baby cool but also offer sun protection as well. Mothers of multiple children find that carrying their baby is helpful because they can tend to their toddler or older child with baby in tow. Babies who are held closely also experience less crying and less unpleasant situations such as colic, and wearing a baby closely helps to regulate the baby's breathing patterns and temperature, especially in the early months of life. Baby wearing is also beneficial for nursing mothers because most baby wearing products offer adequate coverage for moms to easily nurse in public.

It is helpful also to purchase at least two varieties of baby carriers. You might want to purchase a baby sling that is adjustable and able to be used in a variety of positions, and you also might want to purchase a fitted sling that requires no adjustments for easy use even though you will only be able to carry baby in one position in this type of sling. Optional slings, depending on your budget, could include the mesh sling made especially for summertime use or use in warmer climates and also the high-end silk sling that can be used for formal occasions. I have even seen companies that offer cloth baby carriers in organic cotton! There are also more heavy-duty backpack type carriers that are great for avid outdoor types. If you enjoy outdoor activities or hiking, you might want to consider these as well. You could easily purchase two quality baby slings for the same cost as a moderately-priced stroller. Don't forget to purchase a sling for dad too. Just remember your partner might need a different (often larger) size sling than you do. Consider yourself lucky if you and your partner are similar in height and weight and can both use the same sling. If you purchase a sling for your baby's caregiver in your absence, always make sure to instruct that person on proper use of the sling as well.

Always remember to follow the care instructions that come with whatever cloth baby carrier you purchase. Paying close attention to these instructions will ensure that your sling or carrier is maintained properly and that it lasts for a long time. Most slings can accommodate children up to age 3 or so, and you will most likely also be able to use your sling with future children as well since many slings are constructed to be very durable.

It is important to take precautions, though. Baby wearing requires an attentive parent. Always make sure that when you are wearing your baby, the baby's airway is not restricted in any way. Babies enjoy the lulling motion of their mother's walking, just make sure your baby is safe at all times and does not end up in an uncomfortable or unsafe position.

Consider baby wearing. It is a beneficial for your baby and also can be convenient for you: no more worrying about navigating an oversized stroller through a crowded shopping center.