BabyLoving.com

If you find out that you are pregnant and you did not intend to be, that news can be joyous or devastating. Much of that decision rests on your shoulders. Should you be in a less than desirable situation and pregnant, you still have the opportunity to make the best life you can for you and your new baby.

Planning is the most important step you can take right now. Your first decisions will be medical. Do you have insurance? If not, find out if you can qualify for public assistance. Though you may not be able to get Medicaid per se, there are other programs available for people who do not have health insurance. Many states have programs specifically for pregnant women, so start making those phone calls today. Getting in to see a doctor or midwife immediately is important to be sure the pregnancy progresses as smoothly as possible.

Next, you should look at your finances. Babies are expensive as any parents will tell you. With a little ingenuity, though, you can begin to work your budget around the cost of having a baby. First make sure that you know how much you make every month. If you have unstable employment, such as serving, then use the figure you know that you make each week or month. Then determine how much your bills are. Include everything with high estimates for utility bills.

Once you know how much you make and owe right now, you can begin planning for the added cost of having a baby. Begin calling daycares to see how much you can expect to need for childcare. Begin pricing the necessities for the baby. Remember that most of the information out there is intended to get you to purchase the best and most expensive of everything, but it is not necessary! Your baby will need a bassinet or crib unless you will be co-sleeping 100 percent of the time, and you can find good quality secondhand cribs at baby consignment shops.

Also start to look around for places you can go to get help from friends and family. If you know of someone who just had a baby, you may be able to get some of the baby items from her. You should not feel badly about asking; most moms are happy to share what they have because babies are so expensive.

You also should begin preparing for the baby a little each week. Although you may not be that excited right now, and you probably do not feel a bond with the baby yet (despite what books and movies will say), you should begin to do some things for the baby. If you will have a room for a nursery, begin picking out what you will need, even if you cannot buy it yet.

Also begin working on smaller things, such as washing and hanging the baby clothes when you get them. It is tempting to toss everything into the room and move about your day, but you will need to begin preparing now for the changes that the baby will bring to your life. You should think about when you will get the crib and how you will manage to paint when you are not supposed to inhale the fumes. Even if you only spend an hour every Saturday on decorating or getting something ready, it is important that you do not wait until the last minute.

Read up on everything you can right now. You may be overwhelmed with the information, but get a couple of good books on prenatal care and baby development. What to Expect When You’re Expecting is considered the bible of baby books, and it will answer most of your questions. You can find it at most used book sales or new for only about $12. Also get a journal so that you can record how you feel. Although you may be sad now, you will be excited to meet your new little guy or girl in the future. These moments are fleeting so you should capture them.

Try to find a support system as soon as possible so that you can begin to share the good news of your baby with others.

When you have your baby, you will have to fill out a great deal of paperwork. It seems odd that everything has to be completed for a baby just born, but you will have plenty to complete to make your baby officially yours. One of the big questions will be what you are naming the baby. You will be told to make sure that you get everything correct and that you definitely want to choose this name. (Just as an aside, you can change it legally later, but it is easier to pick what you want now.)

For most people, the first name is the biggest question, but for a growing number of people, the last name is just as questionable. That may be because the mother is unmarried, and the father is only vaguely in the picture. It may be because of immigrant customs of naming that differ from local customs, or it may be because of the political decisions of the parents. For whatever reason, you may find yourself with a decision to make regarding the last name of your baby.

The first key, particularly if you are making the decision for political reasons, is to know what your rights are. Sometimes in hospitals, doctors and nurses, as well as members of the administrative staff, will try to tell you that you do not have a choice on the last name. We were told that when our son was born. Because my husband and I are married, the child must get the father's name automatically. While that is true in some states, it is not the case everywhere. It was not the case in the state where our son was born, but it makes people more comfortable to do things the traditional way.

So, know the law before you get there and do not allow yourself to be convinced that you are wrong. Take printouts or the names of officials who gave you the information. You should call the vital statistics department for your state to get the word. If someone in the hospital tries to tell you that you are wrong, ask for proof. Refuse to sign any birth certificate that does not have the name as you want it.

Should you have to sign the birth certificate to be able to take the baby home, such as may happen for a Friday birth, then you will need to be sure that you ask who to call locally to change it when the business week is back. Ask for the name of the person in the hospital who is responsible for making this decision on the name of the child. You will want to contact that person if you are in fact correct to let him or her know that you are unhappy with the staff members pushing you to change the name.

Should you need to change the last name because of the above situation or because you were a single mom who later got married or had paternity proven, then you will need to contact the Social Security Administration. They are in charge of all names in the United States. They have forms that you can complete to have the name changed legally. Most of the time it will be a simple process. You will complete the form, take it to the local office, and have everything processed there. Your child will then get new social security cards.

Sometimes the process can be more complex, particularly if you are making structural changes to the name. For example, a Robert Andrew Smith who you want to change to Robert Andrew Jones-Smith. You may have to go before a juvenile judge in that matter. Never fear. The process is not as scary as it sounds. Basically you will explain the reasons (succinctly and objectively), and the judge will make the final decision. Since juvenile court judges tend to be overworked, they are not likely to hold up the court over a request they will consider small potatoes for their courtroom. It is just a matter of going through the motions of the hearing.

Remember that it is best to take care of this issue before it becomes a problem, so the best step you can take it to find out now what you can do.

Preparing for the New Year with a baby can seem like it will be no fun. The truth is, though, that most of us outgrow our penchant for crazy celebrating in our early 20s. If this is your first new year with your baby, do not think that you will not be able to have any fun. Just plan a different type of celebration that you have had in the past.

First try to keep your baby on a schedule. I say this with all seriousness although I am guilty of it. I always want to keep my son up to have fun with him and celebrate holidays. The reality, though, is that babies do not care about the new year. Everyone will be happier in the long run if you just let your baby go to sleep like normal. Then you can plan your own celebration. The only change you may want to make is to move baby to a different room in a portable crib if you will be up and loud near where the baby normally sleeps. Also consider adding some white noise, such as a fan or sound machine, so that the baby can sleep with the celebrating.

After you have put the baby to bed, you and your partner can break out the fun stuff. Try to be good spirits about the evening. Get a nice bottle of wine and some good cheese and bread if that is your thing. Otherwise order some pizza or make something special. Once the baby is down, you can eat together and enjoy your evening.

I always like to plan my resolutions at some point on the last day of the year, and this night is a good a time as any. Having a baby is a big change in your life, and you likely have seen the need for some changes. Maybe you want to lose weight and get back to your pre-baby body. Perhaps you realize your family needs some major organizational tools. Or you may want to increase your income for this year. Write down your goals for the new year, keeping in mind that you have a baby who will be competing for your attention.

You and your partner could rent a good movie that you have been wanting to see. Try to get something fun and light-hearted so that you do not mind if baby interrupts you with crying or feeding and so that you can feel good about the new year. Depressing movies will only put you in a depressing mood, so sticking to something fun is best. You also could watch the various specials on television during this evening or just sit and talk to each other. Try to avoid serious talk, such as about the baby or about finances or any of the topics you probably cover fairly frequently. Instead you should spend some time just talking to each other about whatever is on your mind.

Try to pamper yourself a little during your mini-celebration. Give your partner a back massage (in hopes of getting one in return, of course!) or give yourself a manicure. Do something to make yourself feel good, and you will get as much out of the celebration as if you had gone out.

Having a drink or two is okay as well as long as one of you moderates the drinking enough to take care of anything the baby needs. If you are breastfeeding, express some milk in the hours leading up to the celebrating so that you can have a drink without worrying about any effect on the baby.

Do not use the evening to think about what you could have done. Sure, considering that awesome New Year’s Eve you once spent in Los Angeles with your friends from college may be fun, but do not dwell on what you have done in years past that you cannot do now. Even if you wanted a baby desperately, you can begin to long for the good old days when you had less responsibility. Do not do that tonight. Instead focus on having a low-key good time and enjoy your little night so that you can ring in the new year with a positive attitude.

Before my son was born, I packed a bag for the hospital that was stuffed to the brim with everything I had read or heard that I would need. When I came home and got around to unpacking, I realized that I had not used many of the items I brought. So this time around, I am determined to pack less but have it be more useful.

For starters when you are packing your bag (which you should do about three weeks before your due date), you should pack one or two gowns or large t-shirts. While you may be content to lie around in the hospital gown, it can get weird when you have company in your room. Plus you will be much warmer even with a thin gown than the hospital gowns. Second, you should take some slippers or thick socks. My grandmother bought a wonderful pair of fuzzy slippers for me before I had my son, and they were a great gift while I was in the hospital because I could be more comfortable walking around my room and the floor of the family unit.

Also take some things for you to do but be realistic. I thought I would be able to work on projects while I was in the hospital, but a combination of minor problems with my son, lack of good rest, and medication to calm my blood pressure made me unable to concentrate. Instead this time around I will be taking only a few items that can keep my attention briefly. Crossword puzzles, sudoku, and word searches all are great ideas for keeping your mind going while you are in the hospital. Puzzles allow you to focus for just a few minutes at a time, and they are fun to do. You also may want to buy a book to bring or stock up on magazines. (Ask around. Your friends probably have copies of a few magazines you can borrow.)

When it comes to underwear and bras, you can make your own decision here based on your personal comfort level. If you have a c-section, you probably will have a hard time wearing regular underwear. In fact, your doctor may suggest you try to keep the incision site far away from the elastic bands from your underwear. An alternative is to get a size larger than you normally wear. While you may not want to do that to pack, keep it in mind for the future. With all of the tubes and the moving around in the hospital bed, you probably will not be wearing a bra during your stay but bring one if you are more modest and think you will want to wear one on your ride home.

Bringing one change of clothes to wear home from the hospital also is a great idea but one that takes careful consideration. Basically you will want to wear something comfortable home, but you probably want to look decent, too. For most women, their uterus does not shrink back to its normal size (or some approximation thereof) until about three days after birth. That means that you may still look and feel very pregnant when you leave the hospital, which is why picking out clothes can be tricky. Your best bet is to get pants or a skirt with loose elastic in the waist or one of your smaller pair of maternity clothes. That way you can look nice either way. For a shirt, pick something that will hang pretty loosely on you because you probably will not want to have anything tight.

When it comes to toiletries, I believe in bringing smaller versions of the items you use at home. Stock up on a cute bag and put travel-size versions of hair spray, toothpaste, and even deodorant. That way you can get to the items easily and can use them more easily while you are stuck in the hospital. If you will worry about your hair, bring a large-toothed comb (it is likely to get knots during labor), a spray bottle for water, and clips if your hair is long enough. These items should be enough to make your hospital stay pleasant and manageable.

If you are expecting a new baby and you are the mom, chances are good that most of the attention is focused on you. Everyone asks how you are feeling. People want to know if you are ready for the baby to come. If those people, well-intentioned as they may be, even acknowledge your partner, they probably are only concerned with him out of politeness. The truth is that we still expect Mom to handle most of the childcare and to know the most about the arrangements for the kids. Even if that mom is working, going to school full-time, and trying to take care of a household, many people still have the expectation that she will be on top of the baby situation that Dad is not.

If you are the mom in this situation, you should think about your partner and how he feels. Is he involved? Chances are that he is, especially if you are a contemporary couple. More men than ever want to take an active role in the lives of their children. Many of them, like my own husband, grew up with fathers who worked and provided well for the family, but memories of Dad are precious few.

Still, there is nothing out there to prepare anyone for this shift in relationship standards. There are some things you can do to ease Dad into the role, however. First be sure that you discuss everything with him. Like with weddings, baby planning can become a family affair with your mother, your mother-in-law, aunts, cousins, sisters, and friends all adding their two cents. Make sure Dad does not get left out of that loop, though. Make him a core part of the planning. If he hates Winnie-the-Pooh, do not pick that for your nursery theme! Dad counts equally here, so keep that in mind.

Once the baby arrives, know that Dad will be tired, too. If you have set up a schedule that requires you to get up all night, which is probably the case if you are a first-time mom, then you should get your rest. Do not go without sleep but allow Dad to get some rest, too. Perhaps he needs a couple of hours one night a week to hang out with friends or to read a good book. Give him that time. Remember that your free time will become precious when the baby is born, so try to give him the opportunity to enjoy some as well.

Avoid whatever urge you may have to correct his childcare techniques. Sure, if you think he is doing something dangerous, go ahead and say something. If he is bottled feeding and the baby will just spit up because she is not being burped, let him know gently. Otherwise, back off. He does not need your help. It will make him self-conscious. Think of it this way. Why are you spending your life with this man? If he is competent to be your life partner, then he probably can handle a baby as well. There may be a sharp learning curve (after all, how many men were regular babysitters in high school?), but he will get the hang of it.

Praise Dad when necessary. Do not take him for granted. While you may not feel like thanking him for getting up one time last night when you had to get up 12 times with the baby, he will feel much better about himself if he hears the occasional comment of gratitude.

Also do not allow others to mistreat Dad. If you see that others are correcting him in public, gently take over the care of the baby to diffuse the situation or comment on how wonderful your husband is at child-rearing. Try to turn the episode into something positive and give the others a subtle hint to stay away in the process.

Be sure that you take the new dad into account when you are making plans. You likely will need someone to drive you to the doctor, for example, and you need to allow your husband to make the final decision on the day and time if he will be getting off work to take you. Remember that he is an equal partner, so treat him that way.

Nesting is not a term that is used very often anymore to describe women who are pregnant. We most often hear it today referring to animals, but the instinct still applies. Most pregnant women will tell you that they experienced some type of nesting during their pregnancy, most likely in the third trimester. Nesting is an instinct that kicks in that almost seems to require an expectant mother to work on her organizational skills and put her house in order.

Many women find that in the last weeks of pregnancy, they are unable to focus because of what they consider chaos around them. This chaos may exists, or it may be something that the mother imagines she is feeling. Many women will spend their time, even into the wee hours of the morning, putting together outfits for the baby, making the house look perfect, and cleaning out closets. This desire is something that many women feel is a compulsion. I remember being up several nights in a row until 5 or 6 in the morning when I was pregnant with my son. I could not explain the desire (or where I got the energy), but I felt it. I could not stop myself, and I was hurt if my husband even dared to suggest that I not stay up to work on perfecting the nursery.

If you find yourself in the nesting mood, there are ways you can work with it to combat the mood and to allow it to help you. First, if you begin to feel the need to clean out everything in your house, ask yourself whether it needs to be done. Be serious here. In some homes, it does need to be done. Some parents truly are not prepared for the arrival of their child, so if you have a nursery that is not complete or you do not have everything you need for the baby, allow the nesting instinct to guide you toward putting the nursery together.

Once you feel the nursery is in order, look at the other rooms in the house. Some women say that they feel drawn to certain areas. They may want to work on the bedroom closet, for instance, or the basement may be what drives them bonkers. If you have strong feelings about one area of your home, look at it seriously. Ask yourself whether or not it needs to be cleaned out. You may discover that your closet is in disarray, but you most likely will find that you can deal with the way it is right now. After all, you are currently dealing with it, so it must not bother you enough to want to change it.

Still, the nesting instinct can drive us all to feel the urge strongly. Look at the projects that you feel are calling out to you. Estimate how long the project will take to complete. Be generous in your estimate, remembering that you are in the last weeks of pregnancy when you most likely tire out more easily than usual. The estimate may be enough to make you rethink your plan. If you think it will take 20 hours to clean the closet, doing so may not be so appealing anymore. If you believe it will take 2 hours, however, you may want to give it a go.

One way to curb the instinct but still improve your home is to see if there are smaller tasks you can complete. For example, you may find that if you simply purchase shoe racks and use them, the closet situation will be livable. Use those feelings to help create better living spaces so that you can add a level of organization to your home without going overboard.

Whatever you decide to do, know that you can use the nesting instinct to work with you. The only time it becomes a problem is if you allow it to overtake the rest of your life. Do not deprive others because you want to keep your home spotless. Be reasonable with other people and try to keep in mind that they are not going through the bodily changes that you are. Cut them some slack while still working on getting things done.

Breastfeeding is one of the most controversial topics surrounding babyhood today. There was a time when women had to breastfeed without any choice. Wealthy women or those who could not breastfeed for whatever reason chose a wet nurse, another woman who had recently had a baby, to feed their children for them. When commercial formula came around in the second half of this decade, women relished in the fact that they could decide whether or not to breastfeed.

In the aftermath of the modern feminist movement, many women opted not to breastfeed because it granted them more freedom and flexibility. Then came the research. Early studies showed that breastfed babies held all types of advantages from closer bonding to their mothers to higher IQs. How, in the face of such research, could women opt not to breastfeed?

Doctors began pushing breastfeeding as the only real option, and women began to make each other feel guilty about the decision. Now, however, the research is beginning to settle down. The first study to suggest that perhaps earlier praise of breastfeeding was overblown came from the University of Kentucky. Researchers there looked at infants who had breastfed and compared them to infant who were bottle-fed but held in the same way. In other words, was the benefit in the milk or in the experience of feeding?

Those researchers found that breastfed babies held a slight IQ advantage, only a couple of points, but that in large part controlling for the way a baby is fed negated the effects of breastfeeding. That study was the first to suggest that perhaps breastfeeding advocates, while still making an excellent point about the nutrition a baby needs, do not have the moral high ground they had claimed. Studies over the last few years have shown the same effects for other documented benefits of breastfeeding, such as the immune system benefit.

Early in 2006, a new study came out that suggested that perhaps the crazed breastfeeding wave was coming to an end. Scientists took a group of babies and divided them by breast and formula feedings. Then these scientists controlled for other factors that go into how well a child performs in school, such as the socioeconomic status of the family, the IQ of the parents, and the educational level of the parents. These researchers found that when one controls for other life issues, breastfeeding held no advantage for the mental capacity of the children involved. That is, life experience is more important (or at least equally so) for children.

Now, what does an expectant mom make of these studies? Basically it means that choosing not to breastfeed or being physically unable to do so will not hinder your child for the rest of his or her life as many advocates of breastfeeding claim. In fact, your child will be just fine.

Although you may be planning to breastfeed, it is important to note that not being able to do so will be okay for your child. Many moms who find themselves unable either because of the milk supply or because of an immature suck reflex in the baby, which happens more often than most of us think, should not allow themselves to feel guilty about the decision. Nor should these mothers permit other women from making them feel guilty. Even if you chose to formula feed because it worked better for your life or because you thought it would be best in your situation, you should take pride in that decision.

This choice, like many thousands you will make over the course of parenting, has to be one with which you are comfortable. You have to feel confident that you are making the right decision for your child.

Breastfeeding can be a rewarding experience for both mom and baby and can be a great way to bond. Formula feeding, though, also can be a great way to bond. Plus using a bottle opens up the bonding experience to more players than just mom. Dad, or even Grandma, can be in on the bottle-feeding experience, which will give your baby a wealth of people who are spending time with him or her and creating strong emotional ties for life.

Playgroups are all the rage. Every parent wants his or her child to have the social development nurtured when playing with other children. I am the same way, but I have been able to admit that perhaps the hype about playgroups is a little more positive than it has to be. They are not, in other words, what they are cracked up to be and do not work in every situation. The cons of playgroups are something that all new moms should consider.

First, playgroups are tougher to find that many magazine articles will lead you to believe. Playgroups are viewed as get together spots for new moms, and in these articles, mom is able to just hop into a group. The reality is that most of the time, these moms knew each other in some capacity before the playgroups began. They may go to church together, work together, or live in the same neighborhood.

Many of them are cliquish and do not take well to newcomers to the group. New moms also may find that the other mothers in the group do not share their political or social beliefs, which is something that is never discussed. When I took my infant son to a few meetings, I found that the other women thought that moms who work outside the home are immoral and are doing a disservice to their children. Most of my friends work (hence my need to find other moms for a playgroup) and will continue to do so. I am at home only because I have the luxury of being in a flexible field.

Playgroups also will be the first place where your child will deal with peer pressure. Okay, it is mom who will deal with the peer pressure, but it is there nonetheless. Moms will compare which babies roll over, gurgle, and crawl, and if your baby does not stack up, everyone will know. If someone else has an infant who has not mastered a developmental task, then watch out. That mom will tell you ad nauseum about why Baby Bob just does not make an attempt to stand yet. You probably do not care, but Mom will let you know anyway lest you think that Bob is just slower than the other infants.

Moms in playgroups also will try to show off what their babies can do. I will admit that this phenomenon is not limited to playgroups. We have been in many situations when other parents and grandparents want us to coo at their babies. The reality, though, is that other people are not as impressed with your progeny as you are. I try to keep that in mind when it comes to my own son, who I think is wonderful. I know that other people do not see him in the same way, however, and I try to keep that in mind.

Playgroup moms still will try to show you what their babies can do, however, although you have a baby the same age. They will want you to clap over their babies and their accomplishments. While you certainly want to cheer on other babies because they are learning so much so quickly, you also will want to show that enthusiasm on your own without Mom holding you hostage. I have no idea why playgroups evoke this kind of one-upmanship, but my theory is that many of these moms need something to prove their worth.

These women were likely in career fields for years before having children, and they probably were successful. Now that they are stay-at-home moms, they are trying desperately to show the world that they are doing something with their lives. Unfortunately for their children (and the moms around them) that something comes in the form of showing baby off to anyone and everyone.

If you do want to find a playgroup, by all means go ahead. Just beware that there is a darker side than the rosy pictures you will see. There are moms who fight with each other, babies who do not get along, and gossiping in many of these groups. Try to find a group of women who share something with you, such as a hobby, so that you can have something in common besides your babies.

When most women get to the 36-week mark in pregnancy, they find that they are ready to have the baby. Summer babies cause Mom to be hot and tired. Winter babies make Mom feel bulky because of the added bundle under already heavy clothing. Whenever your baby is born, you will find that you get to a point when you cannot wait to have your own body back and for your baby to arrive. Still, you may look around and find that there is much to do. What should be done now so that you will be prepared for the arrival of your little one?

The first thing you should make sure that you have done is select a pediatrician. Most pediatricians set up times to talk to new parents. You can get a feel for how the doctor treats patients and also if your philosophies will mesh, particularly if you have any non-mainstream beliefs. Ask the pediatrician what you should do when the baby is born. In most cases, the staff at the hospital will send notification of the birth to the pediatrician, but you probably still will need to call to make an appointment.

Second, you should make arrangements for any children or pets you currently have at home. You should have at least two people who have agreed to watch your children, making sure that one person understands he or she is a back-up. You do not want to get into a situation where the person who is supposed to take your child is for some reason unavailable. Also check with a trusted friend or neighbor about your pets. Be sure that you pack a bag for your child and keep an extra stash of food for your pets beginning now so that you do not have any problems with having enough while you are in the hospital.

Next you should be sure that you have all important phone numbers handy. Your spouse or birthing partner should have clear instructions on who should be called and when. This person should know whether you want your mom to be called before the baby is born or whether you would prefer no one know. Include the friends and family members who should be notified and indicate who you know the person will need to call. Grandma Ethel may be on the list, but you know that your mom will call her first. That may not go for Aunt Sue, who you love but everyone else hates. Let the birthing coach know that the call needs to be made.

You also will need to get your bag packed at this point. Go through your non-maternity clothes. Pick out one outfit. You will want something to wear home from the hospital but likely will not have any need for any other clothing while you are in the hospital. Select something loose fitting (being prepared in case of a c-section) that will go over your tummy. Your belly may still be pretty big, so try to find the largest clothes you can.

Also include one or two nice gowns or long shirts so that you are not having visitors with just your hospital gown on. Invest in a good pair of slippers; you will want them on the cold hospital floor. Depending on your personal style, you may want to include travel-size toiletry items and a mirror so that you can feel good about yourself.

Next be sure that you have the nursery stocked with the basics. You will need at least four pair of socks, two onesies (layettes), wipes, and diapers. You do not want to run to the store immediately. Instead get the basic supplies now so that you can come home and rest.

The final task is the crib. While the entire nursery may not be done, you should be sure that the crib has a mattress and a sheet. The baby will not be able to use a pillow and blanket at first. Put the crib bumper set on now if you will be using one. These basics will help you to make sure you are prepared for the baby, and you should be able to complete most of them in one day if you are behind.

When I started staying home with my son, I believed that each day would be exciting. I did not know exactly what we would be doing, but I could not imagine that it would get boring. Of course, I also believed that I would do far more writing and take on more exciting projects. After two years at home, however, I have discovered that I am not as cut out for the life of a stay at home mom as I had thought. In fact, I am not cut out for it at all.

That has led my family to re-evaluate our set up to make some changes. The experience has taught me that many women do not feel as happy with the choice either to work full-time or to stay home as they seem to be. In fact, in researching this issue, I have discovered that study after study suggests that few women are truly happy with their choice. That is because we make the choice while considering societal pressures, which is not very healthy.

When you read typical articles about deciding whether or not to stay home, they address some important issues. Can your family afford to have one parent stay home? What adjustments would you need to make? Will the baby benefit from being at home with one parent? How will he or she get social interaction? These questions all are ones to consider, but many of these articles neglect the second person in the picture.

In the majority of families, Mom is the one who will be staying home with the baby, but we rarely take her needs into account. If you are thinking of staying at home, there are issues that you need to consider devoid of any outside pressures or influences.

First, are you emotionally prepared to stay home? While you may think you will enjoy the quiet of your home everyday, think about the reality of what that means. There will be no office gossip (which you may find you miss), no meetings, no lunches out with your co-workers. Many stay-at-home moms face a massive emotional change when they start to stay at home. They find themselves more isolated than they had imagined.

How will you find social meaning? Perhaps your two of your college girlfriends live nearby and are staying home. The three of you could spend time together. What do you do, however, if none of the women you know are at home? Will you meet new people? How? Where? Think about the practicality of your decision before you jump into it.

Where will you go to recapture your sanity? While the thought of being home with a baby may seem pleasant, it can be harsh. The baby will need you frequently, and he or she will not be able to offer much in the way in the reciprocation. While you no doubt will get great pleasure from spending time with your child, some people need more in return than others. While I have spoken to some moms who talk about how they get ultimate fulfillment from seeing their babies smile and coo, I need more than that in my life. Some of this difference, I believe, comes from the type of person you were before your baby was born. I worked in a field with a good deal of recognition and interaction with public officials. Going from that to a baby trying to hold his head up as the highlight of my day was a tough move.

Make sure that you can deal with the emotional side of staying at home. For some women, it brings elation, but others find that they are not happy with the decision to stay at home. Should you find yourself in that position, be prepared to accept it and move on. It does not mean that you have to put your child in full-time daycare. You may look for other options, such as part-time work that you can work around your current schedule or even a part-time daycare provider. Be sure that you pay attention to what your head and heart are telling you and make the right decision for everyone in your family.

Planning now for when your baby is born can help you to be prepared when he or she arrives. One of the first lessons you will learn as a new parent, unless you have the benefit of full-time help, is that you cannot do everything that you did before the baby was born. In the first weeks postpartum, you will find that you are tired and that you may have some trouble adjusting to your new schedule. Having someone else keep you awake is far more demanding of your energy, you likely will discover, than you staying up on your own.

That means that one of the most important steps you can take in preparation for the baby being born is to decide what must be done, what can be done, and what probably will not get done. Start with the basics. The dishes have to be washed, but you can cut down on the number you use. Forget those frugality arguments about paper plates. (My apologies to the environmentalists out there but forget them for a minute, too.) Using paper plates and cups and plastic utensils will save you tons of time and effort that you will need. Even if you have a dishwasher, you will discover that you may not have time to empty and reload it often. Use paper and plastic; it will save you time.

Laundry is something else that must be done, and if you are like me, it is one of your most dreaded household tasks anyway. Try to limit everyone. If your spouse changes clothes after work everyday, try to talk him out of it. At the very least, he can change into one outfit for a couple of days. After all, he is just wearing it around the house. Plan to limit laundry to one day a week and consolidate loads. Growing up, we had 10 or so loads of laundry that we sorted. In my family, we have seven. In the weeks after my son was born, we had maybe three. Most things can be washed together for a short while without any problems. Plan to work on laundry once a week and do as few loads as possible. If you never get caught up, do not worry about it.

Plan to spend some time that one day a week doing other must-do chores as well. The toilet should be scrubbed. The bathroom needs to be wiped down, and the carpets probably can use a quick vacuum. Do not spend a lot of time on these tasks. You can even hire someone to help with them if you can afford it. A teen will help you out for a few bucks an hour, and you really should not plan to do more than a couple of hours of work anyway. Put diapers in only one trash can or diaper pail in your home so that you will have only that one that absolutely must get changed often.

Beyond the dishes, laundry, and bathrooms, you will have to think about food. Having discretionary income is a benefit here. While I would not recommend going out to eat every night as it is a waste of money and unhealthy to boot, you can plan to have some convenience foods. If you have the freezer space, try making a few casseroles ahead of time. Otherwise plan to purchase healthy alternative frozen meals, frozen pancakes or waffles, and other quick meals. Cooking in a slow cooker is a great idea, too, because you can put the food in during the morning hours whenever you have a few minutes to spare. Be sure that you stock up on non-perishables before the baby arrives so that you will not need to make quick trips to the store.

Remember that you should scale back your expectations. You will need your rest. Some new moms choose to sleep when their babies sleep while others try to use that time to get work done. Either way you will want a break some days, and you deserve one. Do not overdo it, or you will begin to feel exhausted. And do not refuse all help. Being a martyr is no fun; let others give their assistance when they ask.

A recent issue of a parenting magazine had a question about moms and parenting styles. The article used a basic personality profile to create articles on how different types of women mother their children. The basic concept is to use the popular psychological divisions to determine personality. There are four groupings in these personality quizzes.

The first looks at whether one is an extrovert, which is someone who is usually bubbly and derives joy from other people or an introvert, one who spends time alone and enjoys it. The second personality factor considers whether one is sensing or intuitive. In other words, do you focus on the way things are today or look to the future often? Third, are you a thinker or feeler. I have trouble with this one as I think I am a bit of both. Thinkers consider truth and justice to be paramount. They are across the board with no exceptions while feelers consider the specific situation and take circumstance into account. Finally, people who have judgment personalities like order and schedule while perception people fly by the seat of their pants.

The point of the Myers-Briggs test is that it can tell us much about ourselves and about why we have certain preferences and weaknesses. In the case of mothering, personality profiles can give us an idea of how will parent our children. For example, people who fit my profile are people who work very hard to be the perfect mother. The good thing about our mothering style is that we are forever available to our children. The bad part is that we can focus too much on trying to be and have the perfect experiences that we do not enjoy them.

The point of the article, of course, was that all mothers are different. Some mothers will be the first to volunteer for PTO, soccer organizer, and carpool driver because they believe that being available is of utmost importance while other mothers will want to give their children more space to develop on their own.

Even when you have a baby you will be able to see these distinctions in mothering. My husband and I read about infant brain development since we want our children to expand their minds continually, and we decided that allowing them free play time in their cribs from a very early age would be beneficial. I know other mothers of babies who believe that we should run to the crib as soon as we hear the first gurgle. Those types of early parenting decisions are what makes us different and what will teach our children to grow differently. It does not, however, mean that one of us is more right than another. It depends in large part on our priorities and what we want our children to learn from us.

At a time when women are returning from the workforce to have children in larger numbers than a decade ago, we find that competition between women about their children is heating up. Women are more likely to argue with each other over parenting now that there are no partnerships and large annual bonuses on the line. Instead the mother of an infant who cries often is viewed as less competent than the mother whose two-month-old is a little angel, never mind that the babies were born with personalities all their own.

If you are having a baby, you soon will find that this mommy competition will start likely before your baby is born. Women discuss the diets and habits of other expectant moms, and many moms will make you feel as if you are inadequate if you make different decisions. Breastfeeding has become an important issue. While the early research indicated a difference between breastfed and bottle-fed babies, that research is beginning to even out and show that some of those benefits were exaggerating by poor scientific decision-making. Still, many a breastfeeding mom thinks it is her right and duty to make other moms feel guilty about the decision to formula feed. Before your baby is born, work on developing a thick skin where your baby is concerned so that you can begin to accept your mothering style and be confident that you are doing right by your baby.

New moms need pampering, too. Many women who report mild bouts with the baby blues, as opposed to the full-blown postpartum depression, share that part of their frustration is that they feel they have become unimportant because everyone is focused on the baby. Before I had my son, I thought those moms were selfish, too. After I had him, however, I understood exactly how they felt. It was not that people cooed over my baby. I did not mind that. It was as if I had become invisible and was no longer important to anyone. People expected that I did not sleep, eat normally, or need anything, and I despised it.

I will admit that I did not take care of myself after my son was born because I was so busy trying to be and do everything I had done before he was born and be the perfect mother to him that I got lost in the process. With the new baby set to arrive in about six weeks, I have decided that this time around, I will not succumb. I have been thinking of ways to pamper myself, and I would like to share them with you in the hope that you will take advantage of them as well.

First I will be purchasing a couple of books and puzzle books to read while I am in the hospital. While I am sure that I will want to bond with my daughter, I want to give myself a chance to keep my brain sharp and focused while I am by myself there.

Second I have decided that though I am not usually girlie, I am buying myself a manicure and pedicure set. I saw some that were pretty inexpensive the other day, and I have decided to pick one up. It is not that I care about my nails being polished or anything like that. Instead it is that I want to make sure that I force myself to spend some relaxing time treating myself. I am on my feet all day chasing a toddler and taking care of the million tasks that need to be done to run a household and a business. That means that my feet suffer, and by getting the pedicure set, I can give my feet the attention they need.

I also have purchased scented candles and some nice bags of tea. After the first few weeks, I plan to treat myself to a long, hot bath at least once a week. I figure I deserve it. Plus I can think better when I am in the tub, so it will give me a chance to rejuvenate. If you cannot bring yourself to take baths or do not have the time for a long, steamy night in the tub, at least consider getting nice lotions for yourself and sitting in the candlelight in your bedroom for a few minutes alone.

Set up extra help where you can. Even if you have a husband who is wonderful about helping with the housework, you should try to get any extra help possible. Take others up on their offers to bring over a meal or to do a load of laundry for you. When my mother came down when my son was born, the best thing she did for us was to do all of our laundry, including the ironing. Hire someone to come over once a week if you can. In many areas, these services are only $25 or so, and you can get a little relief.

Take some time at least once every two weeks for yourself, whether it is spending 15 minutes alone with a nice cup of coffee on your balcony or going to the store by yourself. Heck, you may just want to walk the block without anyone tagging along. Be sure that you set aside these times to spend with yourself doing whatever you want to do. You will need the break from your baby, your partner, and probably your home, too. It is okay to need a break. Being a Super Mom is not what it is cracked up to be. Those women usually crumble at some point; make sure you are not one of them.

Having a birth plan is a great idea, but you should know that it is not set in stone. There are a number of reasons you could opt to change your birth plan during the course of labor and delivery, and the doctor or midwife has some discretion as well. One of the most crucial issues you will need to decide for your birth plan is whether or not you want medication. Unfortunately for a lot of women this issue has become politicized so that many women feel pressured into making a choice that may not be right for them.

Many women feel, for example, that using medication is tantamount to drugging the baby despite significant evidence to the contrary when it comes to modern medications. The reason for this belief stems from older versions of labor medication in which some babies were born groggy. Though those medicines have been out of use for decades, some people still persist in their belief that using any drugs will harm the baby. If you feel that medication is not right for you, then do not use it. For most women, though, some relief from the pain of childbirth is welcome.

Narcotics are a common option for mothers who are in labor. Let me share some information with you from my personal experience, however. I took a shot of a narcotic during labor with my son because I mistakenly believed (learned in childbirth class) that I would be able to continue to walk around or sleep after taking the drug. That is not the case. As soon as I got the drug, I was kept in bed, which I hated, and I discovered that narcotics actually are intended as more of a grogginess mechanism than a pain reliever in labor.

Epidurals also are a common option for women who want to diminish the pains of labor. Epidurals are another option rife with misperceptions. When this type of anesthetic agent became available, it was called a spinal. The doctor put a needle into the top two layers of the spinal cord. That made some women get terrible headaches, sometimes for months afterward, because their balance had been altered. Today, doctors use a different technique that does not require this invasion of the spinal column.

If you want to get an epidural, you should check with your hospital about their policies. Some women are not eligible because of various medical conditions. In most hospitals, there are requirements. You will need to be dilated to a certain point but not too far along, and you may have time limits as well. Find out beforehand so that you can make preparations.

Many women find that though they have researched their medication options before going into labor, they want to change them once they are in the throes of labor. Some women report feeling more powerful in labor, and they decide that they do not want or need pain medication. Other women were not prepared for how their bodies would react to the pain of childbirth, and they may need to re-evaluate their options. Do not feel bad about changing your decisions; do what you think is best for you and your baby.

Beyond the medication route, there are other ways to deal with pain during childbirth. Many hospitals now offer exercise balls, which work well for many women, and rocking chairs, massagers, and other accessories to help ease the labor pains. If your hospital has these items or permits you to bring your own, then you definitely should consider it. They can make the process go much more smoothly for you if you have something to help you feel better. Other options, such as music, work for some women and not others. I personally wanted to blare my favorite songs so that I could shift focus instead of playing classical music, which is what some women prefer.

Just be sure that you research what you think may be helpful to you before you go into labor. Pack everything up before you get there so that you will be ready when the time comes. Know that you may get out some items while you leave others in your suitcase. Just pick whatever works best for you.

Babies come with lots of stuff. Even if you have requested that people not fill your nursery with stuff, they will do it anyway. Your grandmother will see a perfect little gown and matching blanket (there has to be a matching blanket!). Your mother-in-law will find a cute toy that reminds her of something she once bought your husband. Your friend will swear by a certain diaper pail and get you one, even if you already have another variety. Before you know it, the baby will have more stuff than anyone else in the family, and that does not even count the toys that will start piling in.

Keeping everything organized can be a chore for even the most well put together of parents. Just when you think you have a grip on everything, you will find out that you were wrong. In fact, you probably will find that keeping up with the organizational needs of a baby is a never-ending task. Of course, it does not help that they go through so many outfits and bibs in a day or that they grow so quickly.

Begin now to prepare for keeping your baby organized so that you will be ready to face the challenge when it comes. Start by getting several bins. You can try 15 to 20 gallon plastic tubs. Do not go high-end but get something sturdy. You will use these bins later, but having them handy will be very useful now. As your child grows, you will need to put away the clothes that he can no longer wear. You will use these bins. When he outgrows 0-3 month clothes, put the bin next to your dryer. As you pull out those sizes, fold the clothes and put them away. When you are confident you have gone through all of the 0-3 month items, close the bin, mark the size on the outside, and put it in a storage area.

The next thing you will need to do is to cut down on the number of some items that the baby has. I know. Those bibs are all so cute. How could you ever get rid of them? Trust me. After you have washed them for the umpteenth time, you will know. And here is the reality. You probably will not use bibs all that much. Some people are compulsive about putting bibs on their little ones all the time, but most parents are not.

In the first few months, you will need the little towel-like cloths instead of the bibs anyway. Keep out a few bibs. Try to select a number that makes sense to you. Perhaps you anticipate using two bibs and two cloths per day. Then keep out 14 since you will need to wash them often to keep them from staining. Keep the others in storage (in properly marked bins, of course), or donate them to a local charity if you have the guts.

Limit the number of duplicate items you have. If you are frugal, you probably will not throw that baby lotion away even if it is the seventh bottle you have received. Instead you should return to your bins or assign a place in the pantry for them. Put all of the extras of shampoo, lotion, powder, and other essentials in one spot so that they are not cluttering the nursery but you will be able to get them when you need them. If you are not so frugal, then get rid of them. Make up baskets and take them to a local shelter or donate them to your church. Give them to a friend who runs a daycare. Do anything you want with them but get them out of your house so that they do not take up too much room.

Finally you will need to be sure that everything your baby owns has a place. If it does not, then get rid of it or find a spot before you take it into the nursery. Do not let baby items pile up or you will find that baby never gets to use them, and they frustrate you because they are always in the way when you are in the nursery.

If you know someone who got pregnant unexpectedly, she may need you to be there for her more than other women you know who will be having babies. While you cannot change the situation, you can provide moral support and advice when needed. The first decision that the mom to be needs to make is whether or not she will keep the baby. For many women, this decision is simple. Some may have moral problems with abortion that make that decision one they will not consider. Other moms may know that adoption is not right for them. Still other moms will want more information about these decisions. If you cannot give information without being too biased, then you should direct her to someone who can be more objective.

If the mom decides to keep the baby and to raise it alone, then she will need someone to help her with the many decisions coming. For her sake, you need to show her some excitement about the baby. Remember that she probably is terrified and worried about money, childcare, and a million other issues, so it is your job to help her through those feelings.

Start by taking her shopping just to get a couple of things for the baby. You should try to get her to get a couple of pieces of maternity clothes. Trying on clothes, especially if you can find a shop with trendy clothes, will make her have fun associated with the experience of having the baby. You also should try to pick up a toy or two and maybe an outfit.

After you have done some shopping, you should sit down with mom and talk candidly about how she will afford everything the baby needs. Point her to books or websites about raising a baby with little money. While she may be panicking about the cost of a crib, changing table, and everything else, you know that there are places to cut corners. She can get a good used cribs or even a less expensive new model.

Also look at the on-going costs of the baby, such as wipes, diapers, and toiletry items. Be sure that you give her an accurate portrayal of how much it will cost because she will need to work out a budget or to see how much money she will need to make to cover the extra costs. Start pricing daycare now as well. Look at possible alternatives to full-time daycare and talk about the differences and the cost.

Help her to make a list of everything she will need when the baby arrives. Then if someone will be throwing her a baby shower, you can have a list ready. You can even go with her to set up a baby registry so that she will get the fun of picking out things that she would like for the baby. These types of outings are exciting because they let the fun side of having a baby come into play.

Once she gets into the pregnancy, you can be there to help with advice on major issues, such as telling her boss that she will be having a baby and planning for maternity leave. Also help her to deal with the hospital issues, even going with her to birthing classes if she would like. Education is very important during the prenatal months, so help her out by giving her books or telling her about things she should know without intruding.

You also can do some good neighbor-type stuff for her. Take her dinner once in a while or buy a pork loin for her when they are on sale. Offer to paint the nursery for her and to help get everything together. Pick up things along and along when you find them. Give her a good book or a certificate for a pedicure so that she can spend some time focusing on herself. Try to keep her calm. Most first-time mothers are nervous anyway. When you add to it that she may be doing everything alone, then you are looking at a recipe for sky-high anxiety. Instead try to be there to calm her fears and provide all of the support you can to make this time memorable for her.

I read an article a few months ago that really made me wonder. A man wrote the article for a parenting magazine, and in it he explained how he felt that his decisions were questioned more than others questioned his wife. I asked my own husband, who is a very involved father to our son and soon-to-be daughter, how he felt, and he said he understood. My husband said that when he is out with our son, he gets far more warnings, admonitions, and advice from older ladies and other moms who are trying to explain to him how to parent.

It is not something my husband had ever mentioned before, and when I asked him why, he said that he did not see the purpose in mentioning it. Still it bothers me. Of course, I cannot go screaming and yelling at the women who say things to my husband, but it did make me aware of how we treat new fathers.

We live in a time when men are encouraged to take part in the lives of their children, but many women apparently have not learned that these men need our support and encouragement and not our disdain. After hearing about how other men feel, I am more aware of seeing men out and about alone with their babies.

Women who see these men should not make a big deal out of their presence. My husband and the gentleman who wrote the original article both said that they feel women are a bit patronizing with the “aren’t you the good dad?” bit. Just let Dad and baby be; chances are they will be fine. Acknowledge them only in the way you would a new mother. If Dad looks like he could use someone to hold the door, offer to do it. Coo over the baby. Treat the new dad like any other parent.

Avoid any chance to tell him the baby should be wearing a hat, is desperately in need of socks, or offering any advice on holding, feeding, burping, or otherwise taking care of the baby. If this Dad is out with his baby alone, chances are good that he has taken care of him before by himself. Even if he has not, now is the time to learn without someone hovering over him. Besides, even as a new mom, I learned that older generations have very different ideas on what is right for my child. They do not always think I should be holding, feeding, or burping the way I am either, and frankly I do not want to hear about it. So avoid the urge to correct Dad and move on.

Another gripe the man in the article had was that when he is shopping for his baby, women look, and sometimes even touch things, in his cart. They will make comments about how he should have purchased the Johnson and Johnson lotion or that the store down the street has diapers on sale this week. This man, and no other I am certain, does not want women criticizing his shopping choices. Perhaps his family does not bargain shop. Perhaps he is learning. Either way, he does not need a busybody to come along and try to tell him how he could do it better.

The general rule is that if you would not do something to a new mom, then you should not do it to a new dad, either. Even the most progressive of men are a little nervous about their first babies. Heck, even new moms are nervous about their first babies, though we act as if they should not be. This new generation of men is more involved than ever with their children, and we should give them the respect they deserve, instead of being so critical of them.

The next time you see a dad with a baby in a sling, you should think about how that mom must be at home getting much-needed rest. Instead of questioning Dad and making him uncomfortable, silently applaud him and his efforts to be an active part of his family from the beginning. And take comfort in knowing that whether he buys the right lotion or not, his baby will grow into a child who has an active father, and that gift needs no comment from anyone else.

When my son was born, I thought that I would choose saving money over convenience on all of the major baby decisions I had coming my way. I had purchased cloth diapers, read up on making my own baby food, and determined to learn how to sew. I soon found, however, that it was not such an easy choice. Like many new parents, I was overwhelmed by what it meant to care for a new baby. Over time, I have learned that there are several areas where choosing convenience over the price is beneficial for most parents.

The number one item on my list is diapers. I know that many advocates of using cloth diapers talk about the benefit to the environment, the wallet, and the bonding process. While some of these claims certainly hold merit, others are not as legitimate as they claim. Laundering cloth diapers costs in both money and pollution, and they are much more of a hassle than disposable diapers. When I looked at the differences in the diapers, I realized that I did not want to wash diapers everyday. It did not work with my lifestyle, and I believe that is true for most parents.

A close second would be baby wipes. My mother-in-law made her own everything and was appalled that I would spend money on baby wipes. We found a great, unscented store brand that worked well for our son. They cost us $1 for 80 wipes, which lasts at least a week. I would be willing to give up anything else if needed for the $4 a month for store-bought wipes. The process of buying large rolls of paper towels, cutting them, and putting them in a bucket to soak with all of my own ingredients does not sound appealing. Honestly after reading how to make wipes, I am not certain that there is any cost benefit from doing so, and certainly for all but the least busy of parents, the time involved outweighs the pennies saved.

Next comes baby food. I really thought that I would make my own baby food and had I been more organized when my son was a wee little guy I would have. Instead I found that purchasing the Gerber version of baby food was far more convenient. This area is one in which the frugal parenting advocates have a point. Making baby food is a good deal cheaper than purchasing it at $.40 a jar. Babies will begin to go through only a jar or two a day but most of them have reached several jars a day by the time they are a year old.

One of the ways that new parents can take advantage of this convenience without complete overspending is to move the baby to table food before the first birthday. Though many pediatricians who go strictly by the book hate this approach, others are less worried. We listened to our pediatrician but in the end did what worked best for us. What worked was feeding our son a baby version of what we were eating. Babies can eat mashed potatoes, soups, and even soft breads in very small pieces early. With other foods, you can cut them really small or grind them to feed to baby. That way your baby is getting used to eating able food, which helps with his eating habits later on, and you are not spending as much on baby food. Plus feeding the little ones table food is even more convenient than buying baby food.

A diaper pail is another area where you can choose basic convenience for your baby. Diaper pails are a great idea. In the past, they were really just a way to have a trashcan in the nursery. Now, though, diaper pails have become super-duper sanitizing machines. Some of them have dispensers for sanitizers while others will wrap the dirty diapers for you. Almost all of them require some type of special bag that you have to purchase.

Getting a diaper pail is the opposite of doing everything the homemade way. This store-bought way actually is far more expensive and less convenient that just putting a small trashcan in the nursery and changing the bag everyday.

Finding part-time childcare is next to impossible! We are in the process of selecting someone to keep our son a few hours a week, and the process is difficult. Adding a new baby to the mix in a couple of months is proving even more challenging. First, few people are interested in any type of part-time childcare work. In part that is because childcare typically does not pay a very high wage, but another reason is that our childcare standards in the United States just have not become flexible enough to deal with flexible schedules.

Before my precious son was born, I thought I would be able to write full-time from home with him by my side. Oh, how I was wrong! Writing with a toddler is next to impossible. In many ways, both my writing and my son get short-changed. We have decided to remedy the solution by hiring someone part-time, but it is a learning process.

Our first choice, and you may find that this is what works best for you, was to put our son into a preschool setting two days a week. Now, with a baby or toddler, you will not be sending him to preschool per se, but we are using a service at a nearby worship center for our care. For a fairly small amount of money, our son will be taken care of for eight hours a week. We know he is safe, and he enjoys the idea that he is going to school.

Because the school is only two days a week and the baby will not be able to go, we have had to consider other childcare options as well. Like many parents who are looking for flexible daycare arrangements, we have found few good choices. Our first plan was to look at state-certified daycare. Certainly, we figured, someone has seen the need for drop-in care and swing shifts. After calling a couple of places, I realized how wrong I was. The daycare directors who answered their phones or returned my calls all told me in no uncertain terms that I was never going to find anyone. I did finally locate one daycare that would accept drop-ins, but the price was very high for care there.

The reason that daycares are not able to take drop-ins makes perfect sense to me. Each state mandates workers in licensed daycare facilities. These providers must have an adult for a certain number of children. The number varies by state and age of the child, which is why some facilities refuse to accept babies at all. Be sure you ask for minimum age requirements, especially if you will be returning to work six weeks after your baby is born.

Still the requirements mean that few daycare centers have the elasticity in staffing to allow children to come in only on certain days of the week. One option for parents who need daycare most days of the week is to find a place that will permit the parents to pay for the full week although they are not using it everyday.

After the failure of finding a regular daycare, we decided to get creative with our plan. I talked to several people who advertised home daycare in our newspaper. Now using these people can be tricky because you may find that you are not getting someone qualified. Often they are not licensed. In our state, for example, in-home providers can have up to four non-related children without needing licensing. You just need to be careful of these providers because while some provide wonderful care, others do not.

Our final solution was to look for a teenager to come over to sit with our son for a few hours twice a week. This option may be the best for you if you are working from home. We will have designated areas for playing and will be stocking up on games and craft items before our teen starts coming by to stay. My children will be able to be at home in a comfortable environment, but they will not be able to get into my office though I will be close by should they need anything. This daycare choice, while it will not work for everyone, is a solution that seems to be the best for moms who want a little of both worlds.

All states (and the federal government) in the United States have regulations for childcare providers. As with other parts of the government, these requirements are more or less stringent depending on the desires of the people within the state. Each state does have laws regulating the number of children under the watch of a single caregiver, however. Most of these regulations depend on the age of a child. For example, a state may require one caregiver per three infants but allow six toddlers before a second worker is needed.

These requirements may or may not apply equally to daycare facilities and in-home daycare. In-home daycare providers may have a little more slack when it comes to kitchen cleanliness, bathroom size, and even number of children for whom they can care. A fairly sizable number of in-home providers also do not have licensing. They simply keep children in their homes without worrying about the state issues. In many states, an in-home provider needs a certain number of children before the state considers them a full-fledged daycare provider and puts the restrictions on their activities.

That is not to say that in-home daycare is never a viable option. Many a grandmother keeps one or two children in her home for some extra cash, and these ladies are great caregivers for your children. It does mean, however, that as the parent you should be more diligent about your inspection of the facility and what you ask prospective caregivers.

For starters, ask if you can come by when there are children there. You want to see this person in action to know if you can trust him or her with your children. You also want to see how the other children seem to be enjoying themselves. Are they clean? Do they look like they are having fun? Do there seem to be enough toys and attention to go around?

Also find out about meals. Most in-home providers will offer snacks and lunch to your children. You should ask what these meals will be. One provider we talked to would give macaroni and cheese for lunch. As fairly health conscious people, we were unsure how that would work for our son. He has never had macaroni and cheese, and it certainly would not constitute an entire meal for him. You will need to make decisions about these kinds of issues before you decide to leave your child. Also ask about breakfast and supper as some providers include these meals at certain times as well.

Do not be afraid to ask for references. Remember that you are leaving your child with this person. Choosing the wrong person could have serious consequences, so you should be sure that you find out as much about the person as possible. You may even want to call neighbors to ask for opinions if you feel the diligence is necessary.

Find out how long the caregiver has been taking care of children. There is no single answer that works for this type of question. You may be happy with the grandma who raised five of her own children and now loves doting on her grandchildren. Or you may prefer someone who worked in a daycare setting. Still other parents want someone who has medical experience. That may be the case if your child has specific medical conditions and you need someone who will understand them.

Discipline is one of the most important topics you can cover with a potential daycare provider. While few childcare providers will say that they think spanking is okay, many do not count little pops on the hands or legs as spanking. If you are opposed to this type of punishment, then you should be upfront about that now. Watch for the provider reaction to get a sense of whether or not she agrees with you.

While you cannot avoid any problems with childcare providers, you can ask enough about in-home providers to feel reasonably confident that you are getting someone who will take good care of your child. Just be sure that you remain vigilant after you have selected someone. There is nothing to say that you cannot change after the first decision has been made. Keep an eye on what is going on, and you should be in good hands.

As parents, when our babies get sick, we often find that we are panicked. Of course, you know in the back of your head that you should be the calm one. Act as if nothing is wrong. Be concerned but not overly so, even if you are worried in your own mind. Our sense of calm will help even the smallest of babies feel better. Still it is tough to do when you are faced with a medical emergency with your child. There are some ways you can make the situation a little better, however.

First you should be sure that you get the baby to the hospital in the fastest manner possible. For some people, that means driving while others may want to call an ambulance. If you have to call an ambulance, be sure that you are doing so for an actual emergency. Not only could you cause someone else not to get needed emergency transport, you could find yourself paying for the expense of the ambulance if your insurance company deems your call a non-emergency.

Also be sure that you are putting together all of the symptoms your child is having. If you are a passenger in a car, you can write this information down to keep yourself occupied. If you are driving, then think through it. Go through the basic questions you know you will be asked. Does your child have a fever? If so, what has it been? Is your child vomiting? Does she have diarrhea? Is he eating? Try to remember how long your child has been having each symptom as that can have a significant bearing on the diagnosis you receive.

Before heading out, be sure to grab your family medical insurance card and social security numbers for the patient and the responsible paying adult. You will need this information to be seen, and you may be expected to pay your entire emergency co-pay upfront. If you cannot pay the entire bill, be prepared with how much you can pay and when.

Try to have a support system in place. Although you cannot use your cell phone in the rooms in the hospital, take it with you. Call friends and family who can provide moral support for you during this time. One of the most frustrating things about having a baby who is sick is that he or she cannot communicate with you about pain or other symptoms. The baby also cannot talk to you during the ordeal, and you can feel very isolated. It helps if you can talk to other adults who will make you feel better about the whole situation, even if they are just someone listening to your concerns. Pick one or two people to call periodically throughout the ordeal.

Be sure that you ask any questions you can. Again remember that your baby cannot communicate every need with you. Sometimes doctors will say to look for symptoms such as a scratchy throat. If you are wondering how you will know that about an infant, ask. The doctor should be able to give you signs to watch for or other signs that something is wrong. It is your job to be the voice for your baby, so ask any questions and voice any concerns that you have.

Remember to watch out for yourself. Having been in the hospital with my baby, I know how horrific it can feel. Our urge as parents is to hold and rock and cajole until everyone is exhausted. Be sure that you take time out to eat and drink regularly. Also take a few minutes here and there to get fresh air or stretch your legs. You will feel better and ultimately will be calmer and more soothing for your child if you can remain focused.

The most important tip is to reassure your child. Even if you panic, you should still return to your baby and explain that everything will be okay. Try to make your child feel better. Just because you lost it at the moment your baby toppled the Christmas tree and had to rush to the hospital does not mean you cannot make amends later for losing your cool. Your baby still needs your comfort.

One of the most crucial decisions you will need to make before your baby is born is whether you will use a pediatrician or a family doctor. The decision is based on your location, needs, and preferences, but there are pros and cons to each decision.

First, let us consider pediatricians. They are doctors who spent more time in medical school and residency working on children. They have studied children and their development more intensely than family doctors. Pediatricians are in tune with what babies and children should be doing and when. Family doctors, on the other hand, are more familiar with a wider range of illnesses, and your child can see the family doctor forever whereas some pediatricians have age limits on their patients.

If you opt to go to a pediatrician, he or she will want to see you more often than a family doctor. In our case, our son went in at one week, two weeks, one month, two months, and so on. We had tons of office visits during the first year of his life, and he got vaccines at many of them based on our pediatrician and his preferences for vaccine schedules. A family doctor, on the other hand, may cut out some of the visits and give the vaccines on a different schedule to reduce the visits. You also may find that you are less likely to get a full workup but may just come in for the shots and then be gone. A pediatrician will do a full checkup every time you visit.

Pediatricians often have longer waiting periods, especially for new patients, than family doctors do. The nature of the family doctor is to keep everyone generally healthy. They work best with basic situations, such as strep throat, and they often refer patients who need more individualized care to specialists. That means that they will see your baby in the same way, and you will be in and out. Pediatricians tend to take longer at visits and ask tons more questions, which may be a pro or con for you depending on your preferences.

Pediatricians also are fewer and far between than general practitioners. Pediatricians are actually pretty scarce in some areas, and you may be looking at driving half an hour or more to get to a good pediatrician while family doctors are on almost every corner. Family doctors often are the only doctors around in small towns, so they may be the best place to go for your baby to avoid long drives and waits.

One place where I think pediatricians definitely win this contest is in the way that the doctors treat their patients. Family doctors do not spend their days working with children and may be less patient with them, especially when they are in foul moods or are not cooperative with exam techniques. Pediatricians, on the other hand, chose their profession because they love to be around children and often are more patient with babies and toddlers.

Some parents choose one or the other while other parents do a combination. Because of our location, we have resorted to the combination approach, though it is not my first choice. We have a family doctor who sees our son when he has basic illnesses that need to be treated, but our pediatrician gets the final say in major cases and does all of our well baby visits.

That system works for many parents and can allow you to know that someone who is specially trained to work with your children and watch their growth and development is on the job. That can make you feel better while still giving you flexibility in who sees your child when he or she is sick, depending on what works with him.

Regardless of what you want to do, you need to make a decision now so that you can get your baby to a doctor after birth. Many hospitals require you to have selected a doctor by the time you are discharged from the hospital, so you want to make sure that you have made a clear decision before then. You can change later if the decision does not work, but be sure that you try to get everything in order now.

While article after article exists about people who work in offices telling their bosses and co-workers that they are pregnant, little is out there to explain what to do for a freelancer or independent contractor. That is unfortunate because there are literally thousands of independent contractors today, and the home-based employment movement is gaining momentum. If you are one of these independent workers, then you should think now about how you will handle your clients in the later months of your pregnancy and during any maternity leave you may have.

If you are a long-term contractor onsite with a company, then you will deal with them in the same way as a regular employee. You will need to let your employer know as quickly as possible (preferably before you are showing) that you are expecting a baby. You should wait until you have a due date and go in with a basic plan for how you will complete your projects. Yes, the employer can get rid of you (despite the legalities involved) more easily because you are a contractor than if you were a regular employer.

Freelancers and off-site contractors have it a little more difficult when it comes to letting clients know. Some freelancers have continuous gigs, and those involve telling the employer that you will not be able to work at some point. While some writers and other freelance types will say that you should not share why you will not be able to work, I believe that is the wrong plan. Most people can understand when you have life circumstances and will need to take off from work. You would let your clients know if you will be taking vacation, and you should do the same for them now. Be prepared with the due date and the anticipated time that you will be out.

One of the benefits of freelancing is that you have the ability to work in spurts, which means that you will be able to work on projects as needed. For example, my son was born on a Monday, and I was working again Thursday evening. I only completed about an hour of work, but I was able to keep a client happy and still get some work done. Then I could work an hour or two here and there to keep long-term projects going.

The vital point here is to let others know your expectations. Freelancers who work on assignment have the toughest role here. You should give your editors a worst-case scenario, though you do not need to lay it out in those terms. The six-week maternity leave is the standard in the United States. If you want to take that time, then explain that you will be unavailable for all of February and two weeks into March if your baby is due the end of January. Be specific about the times and that you cannot take assignments that will go into that time period. If you find that you are willing and able to take on work before the time is up, then you should contact your editor and let her know. Also be sure that you notify your editors (or have someone do it for you) as soon as the baby is born. That way your lack of response to any emails that get sent will not be surprising.

Short-term freelancers will need to be sure that they clear their schedules. While that may be difficult as last-minute jobs often come up, it is important not to schedule any deadlines within the two weeks before and after the due date. You may plan to do the work early now, but you do not know how you will be feeling. Instead if you need the steady flow of cash, then you should work on selling reprints during this time. That way you can send them via email (or even coax a devoted husband to do it for you) and invoice as soon as you are better.

Keep in mind that you may lose a job or two along the way. I lost one job when my son was born although I had warned the editor ahead of time, and my husband sent out emails within 24 hours of my son being born. While I was upset at the time, an editor who cannot wait for you to have a baby probably is not a gem of a client anyway.

When you have a babysitter coming over, it is important to walk a fine line on instructions. When you have a baby, though, you will be tempted to cross the side of the line that overloads the sitter with too much information. You probably took great pains to find a good sitter for your baby, and you should feel confident in that decision. If you do not, then either you should trust your instinct and not get this sitter, or you should give yourself a very small experience with the sitter. Go out for coffee for an hour before you jump into dinner and a movie.

At any rate, you will need to give your sitter information about the baby and where you will be. The problem with many parents is that they give the sitter too much information, so he or she cannot remember or find everything when needed. You can avoid this dilemma by setting up a babysitter notebook days before the sitter will arrive. This notebook will save you oodles of time later on, so it is worth the hour or so that it will take now to set it up.

You should get a small folder or binder. Then you will need to put information on the first sheet about your baby. Include her full name (for correct spelling purposes), her date of birth, and any allergies she may have. You also may want to put down anything special about the baby, such as that he cannot sleep without the increasingly ragged yellow bear in his crib. Just avoid putting a laundry list of things your baby does or does not like. The sitter will figure most of them out on her own. You also should include bedtime for the baby as well as a rough feeding schedule even if it is only to say that she eats every three hours. Then you can tell the sitter the exact time when he arrives.

The next sheet should be for medical emergencies. Make a copy of the front and back of your insurance card and write the name and phone number of your pediatrician at the bottom. On the next page, you should include the hospital where you want your baby to go should anything happen. Also write directions to your home from the closest hospitals in case your sitter needs to call 911. Put your full street address at the top of the page so that it is easily accessible.

The next page should have phone numbers for three to five friends and relatives to be reached in any urgent situation. You should include people you know are likely to be home and who have some experience with babies. These people should be able to give your sitter an idea what to do in any type of basic situation, such as a cut that is bleeding badly or vomiting. The sitter may feel more comfortable calling someone else and asking, or you may be unavailable. Let these people know that you have give out their number in case they get a call.

Finally you should create a template that you can complete each time you have a sitter. In actuality, you probably should put this sheet first as it will be the one the sitter will most likely use. You would have your name and cell phone number on the sheet. Then have fill in the blank sentences that tell where you will be going, at roughly what times, and the telephone numbers at the places you will visit. Also include a section for notes, which is where you could put that the baby is teething and the location of the Orajel and other similar information. Just be sure that you put only important notes, or they could get lost among all of the other information.

This five-page notebook is all you need for your sitter. He does not need to know every quirk that your baby has or have access to your entire family history to be able to keep your baby for a few hours. If you are really worried, you can include a signed certificate to permit the sitter to seek medical treatment, but in an emergency, you should be fine.

Most of us anticipate that our babies will be born perfectly normal and healthy. We have no reason to suspect otherwise, and while all expectant moms and dads have thoughts of a baby with problems, we know deep in our hearts that it is not the case. What happens, then, when you find out that something is wrong with your baby? Beyond getting medical treatment, most of which is fairly clearly set out for you, how do you cope with the emotional stress of having a baby born with something wrong?

The first step is to allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you feel. There will be people who will tell you that you should not let it get you down, that you will prevail, that everything happens for a reason, and all of the other trite sayings we have to deal with pain. Either listen politely or tell them you would rather not hear it if that is how you feel because the reality is that when you have just found out something is wrong with your child, you probably do not want trite comfort. Be angry, sad, or scared if you want. Just do not allow yourself to wallow in it. Get through the first day or so and then start moving forward.

Education is beneficial for most of us. Now, it can become an obsession to learn everything about a condition or disease, and you may deal with that later. For now, though, you should allow yourself to learn about the condition. Your doctors probably will give you some pamphlets. They are a starting point. When someone asks if you need anything, ask them to head to the library or bookstore for you to pick up books about the condition. Or ask someone you trust to look for reputable information online. Educate yourself about how the condition works and what you look to face for the rest of your life.

Find a trusted friend. While you and your partner will discuss the condition, you need someone else in whom to confide. Choose someone you know will allow you a shoulder to cry on but tell you to face up to the reality of the situation when needed. This person may or may not know anything about medical conditions, but he or she should be someone you know will not share with others how you are feeling.

Be honest and open with your spouse. Once you get through any medical emergencies with the child, you should begin to look realistically at how your lives will be different. Try to focus on the sameness as much as possible. A child with a condition that does not restrict the diet, for example, is something for which to be grateful, even if that child will be in a wheelchair for life. You should look at how your lives will be altered and remain the same because of this condition.

Then you should begin to look at what you will do to make the changes. Sometimes children have needs that will require a great deal of care. That may mean that you have to look seriously at cutting back your hours at work or at finding a place in the budget for nursing care or domestic help. Begin to plot out these changes now. While others may be telling you that money is not an issue, you probably are considering how much this will cost you, not because you are crass but because you want to be able to determine how you will pay for everything.

Finally allow yourself to be happy about your baby no matter what. Pick up a stuffed animal. Get little outfits to dress your baby in. Do all of the things that every other parent of a newborn would do so that you will feel happy about your baby. You may find that you are angry at the baby even, and that really is okay as long as you can get beyond it. You will help yourself feel better about the baby and the whole situation if you allow yourself to bond with the child. Despite the movies, bonding with a newborn is not always automatic, so give yourself the time you need.

Cloth diapers are beginning to make a comeback in many areas. The people who use them promote them as the environmentally-friendly, wonderful option for parents who really care about their babies. The reality, though, is that for most new moms and dads, disposables are the choice. What makes this difference and who is right?

First, let us consider why people would use cloth diapers. First they seem to be a better choice environmentally in terms of them not ending up in the landfill. Even after baby uses them, many moms and dads are willing to use them for cleaning cloths or other uses around the house. Eventually, though, even the clothies will end up in the landfill, too, though they will biodegrade faster than their disposable counterparts. Some people also point out the water waste let off by using cloth diapers. To use them and be sanitary, they need to be washed within a day of being used, and they should be washed in a form of baby bleach and hot water. That means that the water coming from the washer is no longer usable, so it creates pollution in that way.

Another reason that many parents use cloth diapers is that they believe them to be more comfortable on the bottoms of little guys and girls. Now, of course, no one knows whether they really are or not because these little ones cannot tell us either way. Most newborns are so busy trying to figure out what the heck just happened to them that they are unlikely to participate in any experiment to find out which they prefer.

In any case, some babies may express a preference. Disposable diapers are becoming more cloth-like, but the elastic bands on them and the gel on the inside still may bother some babies. Other babies may not like the wet feeling of the cloth diaper. Studies show that cloth diapered babies are potty-trained about six months before their disposable counterparts, and that fact is probably because babies can feel when they are wet or dirty easier in the cloth diapers. For babies with very sensitive skin, that may not be so comfortable.

Cloth diapers also have the reputation for being less expensive. The truth in that statement is debatable depending on the parents. Some parents purchase top-of-the-line cloth diapers. Taking care of these diapers in the proper way means washing them frequently, which means they likely will need to be replaced. Cloth diapers require detergent as well pins and elastic pants that will need to be replaced throughout the time the baby is using the cloth diapers. The electric bill will be more in addition because the diapers will need to be washed so often. On the other hand, disposable diapers must be purchased regularly. In the early months, babies will go through up to 10 diapers a day, which can become an expensive prospect.

Finally some parents believe that cloth diapers simply are better because they are more natural. On this point, there is no evidence to prove or dispute the point. Instead it depends on the person feelings of the parents. Some parents want to do everything as close to nature with their children and believe that doing so will improve the bonding process. Other parents want their lives to move as smoothly as possible, however, and find that cutting time in areas such as diaper changing allows the parents more time to complete other tasks.

Probably the biggest advantage that disposable diapers have other their cloth counterparts is that they are easier for traveling purposes. Cloth diapers will need pins, elastic, and baggies to put the used products in until the traveler arrives home. With disposable, it is just toss and go. Some parents choose to use cloth most of the time but are willing to use disposable when needed and more convenient on the road, airplanes, amusement parks, and similar places. Whatever you choose probably will not have a huge effect on your child and his or her development. Instead you may be making one in a pattern of decisions about childcare and life that your child will see. In the end, though, you should feel good about whatever choice you make.

My mother-in-law has said to me often that the problem with baby books is that the babies do not read the books. While it sounds silly, there is truth in this idea. Babies have no idea what the developmental milestones are that they should reach, and they change often even for the adults involved in caring for children. Some pediatricians will expect that all babies are on schedule on every developmental task while others allow for more flexibility. Moms, though, can find themselves panicking if baby is not trying to roll over when she should be.

Even if you have the books and have read them, though, you still have some sort of instinctive feel about what is right for your baby. We are not talking about maternal instinct here. Instead we are talking about your feeling that something just is not right. One of your jobs will be to learn to balance the instinctive feelings you have with what the current pediatric information says is correct.

One of the biggest issues that cause this dilemma for parents is feeding. Most parents have pediatricians who tell parents not to feed their children anything besides formula or breast milk until the baby is at least six months old. Even then, you should begin very slowly with rick cereal and move on to fruits, veggies, and meats, giving the baby only a taste or two. The problem with this decision is that many babies fuss more when they are hungry.

Babies who were big to begin with are less likely to be satisfied with just milk. Mom and Dad are left with a baby who cannot get enough without something more substantial, but the books are saying that the baby should not be eating. Many parents also want to give their babies a little cereal with milk in the evenings so that they can sleep through the night. While pediatricians claim this idea is a myth, parents know differently. A baby who has a full tummy will sleep better. Adults are the same way.

So, what do you do?

You have to decide what works best for you as a family and what will benefit your baby. While some crying certainly is okay for a baby, she should not be crying for hours on end. Doing so means that she needs something. Mom, too, may not be able to keep pace with a baby who wants milk every hour. While feeding on demand is a great idea in theory, it is a tough way to continue feeding the baby. You will have to decide if you can make the lifestyle changes required for these types of schedules or whether you should move to something that may not be advisable according to official guidelines but that works best for your baby.

This same concept applies to later feeding issues, such as whether or not to keep your child away from wheat, peanut butter, and seafood. The official guidelines on seafood, for example, say that you should shield your child from it until he is four. For families that eat a lot of seafood, that advice may not be the best, and if you have no known allergies, then you could make the decision that your child will be okay.

When you are comparing your instincts to what pediatric guidelines say, you have to keep a couple of things in mind. First consider why something has become the guideline. Understanding the why behind seemingly arbitrary decisions makes it easier to grasp them. Also think about any counter evidence. My son is small, for instance. Current thinking is that toddlers should not have Vitamin D milk because of the fat content, but for a little guy, that advice does not make sense. My son does not get junk food, which is part of why he is so slender, so cutting out the fat content in milk does not seem to work in our situation. Still, it is a decision that I made only after thinking about why doctors are saying about the fat content in the milk and why they are making the suggestion. It is important to educate yourself on these issues so that you can make the best choice for your baby.

Often in more progressive areas, you will see bumper stickers and other campaigns asking you to promote the midwifery industry in the local area by choosing a midwife over a doctor. While you may not even know the difference, some people take great pride in promoting midwives. When you find yourself pregnant, however, you will need to determine if you think that a midwife is the right choice for your prenatal needs or if a doctor will fit better for you.

First know that almost all midwives are women. It is not a profession for men. When you look at doctors, an emerging minority of them are women, and you should be able to find either a male or female doctor in your area. Midwifery is based on an ancient form of medical practice in which women cared for each other during times of gynecologic and obstetrical needs. Traditional midwives knew about folk remedies for PMS and any problem to the female reproductive system. These women also worked with pregnant women and delivered their babies. In many rural areas, midwives were the only option until not too long ago.

These age-old traditions for midwives are part of what makes them different from the medical establishment. Many people use the term traditional doctor to differentiate between medical doctors (MDs) and midwives, but this distinction is false. Midwives are the traditional medical providers, and doctors are pretty new to the scene historically speaking.

If you want to see a midwife, the biggest advantage that you will have is a belief that patients should get all of the attention they need and even want. Instead of rushing through an appointment every 15 minutes, most midwives prefer to see patients in 30-minute intervals. For first-time prenatal visits and other important visits, midwives may even block out an hour. They are available to answer every question, usually without the clipboard attached and while actually looking at the patient instead of making notes. Midwifery is based on the idea of patient-provider healthcare, so they value what the patient believes more than most doctors.

With that said, midwives are not for everyone. Hurry up and go kinds of women probably will not do well with midwives because they will want to speed along their visits. Midwives are very thorough, but it can be frustrating to women who have busy schedules.

Another key difference is in the amount of medical intervention doctors and midwives permit. Doctors often encourage women to have cesarean sections and to use Pitocin and other labor-inducing drugs while midwives tend to warn their patients to stay away from these medications. Midwives tend to do c-sections only in the most dire of circumstances when there is no other way to get the baby out. Again, whether that works for or against you as an expectant mom depends on your personality and feelings toward medication during labor and delivery.

Some women are perfectly willing to have c-sections as soon as the doctor says it may be necessary while other women are not so comfortable with the idea. Some women want as little pain as possible during childbirth while others derive a primitive form of power from the pains of labor. You know yourself best, and it is important to know where you stand before you commit to either a doctor or a midwife.

Another more controversial issue with midwives is that some of them are willing to attend home births, underwater births, and other types of birthing that the formal medical establishment shuns. Again, your personality will determine whether or not you want to have something like this done, but you may want to consider it. Some states have made these births illegal, but you may find a midwife willing to attend anyway because it is considered such as strongly politically charged decision.

Knowing whether you should seek out the services of a doctor or midwife is one only you can make. Take some time to meet with the people you want to consider for your doctors before you make a final decision. Know that you are not committed to the first person you see and be willing to change if you do not find the right person the first time around.

INFANCY

Infancy is the period of time in which babies are totally dependent on parents and care givers for their protection and support. Consistent, adequate, gentle care will encourage the infant to develop the capacity to trust people and to get along with others, as well feel good about himself or herself. This is all vital.


BIRTH TO 3 or 4 MONTHS

VITAL:
Physical care.
Bonding to mother - extremely important
Visual stimulation.
Gentle physical handling.
All these things help to develop the baby's central nervous system!

Emotional development:
Attachment of baby to adults is taking place.
Early trust develops.
Eating and sleeping schedules vary greatly; don't force it.
By 4 months, infants can be comforted when unhappy.

Social development:
Turns head toward familiar voice.
Will begin to smile when talked with or held.
By two months - shows excitement and pleasure when held.
Visually attracted to bright colors and contrasts.
By two months, may gurgle to get attention.
Appears to enjoy being held.


Physical development:
By 6-8 weeks can move head from side to side.
Can lift head when placed on tummy by about 6 weeks.
Begins to notice hands by around 6 weeks.
May roll over by 3-4 months.

Language and intellectual development:
Crying is the main source of communication: wet, hungry, frightened, uncomfortable, sick, or lonely. There are diffentent types of cries for parents to learn totell apart.
Make gurgle throaty sounds by 4 months.


WHAT PARENTS CAN DO
Talk to baby - This is vital, from the day of birth onward. Babies need to hear language in order to speak and read later on! The brain won't work well in language processing, otherwise.

Hold baby face to face, especially during the first month, when singing or talking.
Be flexible about eating and sleeping routines.
Hold baby during feeding times.
Take baby for walks and talk about the sounds, trees, etc.
Have playtime with baby: peek-a-boo, read stories, talk and touch body parts - nose, chin, hand, toes.
Shake a rattle and slowly move it so baby follows with their eyes.


TOYS FOR BABIES
Music Box
Crib Mobile
Soft Cloth Ball
Teething Toys
Crib Mirror, unbreakable
Busy Box
Ceiling Posters
Large Plastic Keys, Balls, Rings
Rattle


4 TO 8 MONTHS

Focus for this age:
Responsive physical care.
A close relationship with a special adult.
A safe play environment.

Emotional development:
Attachment of baby to adults occurs.
Early trust develops.
Eating and sleeping schedules becoming more regular.
Enjoys playing peek-a-boo and begins to grab at blanket.
Uses cry to call for attention, not always a distress call.

Social development:
Enjoys being held.
Smiles to show pleasure.
Less smiling around strangers by 8 months.

Physical development:
Can roll over.
Sits with support, then alone by 8 months.
Begins to push feet against floor or lap and then bounces.
Can see an object, then opens hand to grasp it.
Passes toys from hand to hand.

Language and intellectual development:
Babbles and coos.
Looks when name is called.
Imitates sounds.
Repeats interesting actions.
Continues to develop eye-hand coordination.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO
Talk to baby often.
Read to baby daily.
Allow floor time for wiggling, and eventually, crawling.
Put toys just out of reach.
Place objects in boxes or cans with lids to make noise.
Play peek-a-boo and hide toys under a blanket or diaper.
Hold baby during reading or feeding times.
Establish routines in baby's daily life - bathing, meals and snacks, naps, bedtime.
Imitate baby's sounds.
Freeze a wet washcloth for baby to teethe on and mouth.
Talk calmly to a crying baby.
Do not shake or toss baby in the air.
Hold baby close to a mirror and talk about baby's face.

TOYS FOR BABIES
Music Box
Small Toys To Grasp
Teething Toys
Balls
Push and Pull Toys
Rattles
Books
Busy Box or Other Noisy Toy

8 TO 14 MONTHS

Focus for this age:
Mobility increases and infant begins to walk.
Infant can make choices.
Language use and understanding increases.

Emotional development:
Strong attachment to adults.
Fears can be shown, especially to things such as Santa, clowns, fast moving objects, large dogs.
Infant can tantrum when frustrated.

Social development:
Smiles easily and shows enjoyment of people.
Demonstrates signs of independence.
Beginning of understanding that some behaviors are acceptable and some are not.
Watches people and their activities.
Prefers to be with others while playing.

Physical development:
Enjoys crawling, walking around furniture, & standing.
Can pick up tiny objects.
Very oral - everything goes in mouth.
Develops arm and hand control.
Enjoys taking off clothes, climbing up and onto furniture, & crawling up stairs.

Language and intellectual development:
Uses names of familiar objects and people.
Loves to imitate actions of others.
Connects words to objects.
Looks at books and chooses them.
May scribble randomly.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO
Show pleasure in baby' abilities - This is vital.
Baby proof the home: cover electrical outlets, put away breakables, check toxicity of plants.
Help baby practice pulling up, walking, and climbing.
Watch for small objects that baby can choke on and remove from play area.
Read to baby using simple books.
Play simple games.
Take walks together.
Name objects you see.
Encourage baby to play games of imitation: sounds, words, pointing, body parts.

TOYS FOR BABIES
Small Riding Toys
Push & Pull Toys
Balls
Stacking or Nesting Toys
Pictures, Books, Simple Puzzles
Crayons, with supervision
Busy Boxes
Teething Toys
Shape Boxes or Balls


See your family pediatrician for any questions or concerns!

Have a healthy baby!

Discipline Tips for Parents, Grandparents, and Other Caregivers

Discipline is one of the biggest problems parents and other caregivers face. Good discipline is a welcome thin in a child's life and can start during the first year of life. Ask your family pediatrician for his or her opinion and experiences.

Learning to discipline children fairly, consistently, effectively and improper measure are all hard work according to research findings at many American universities. Positive discipline is always much better than punishment and will help your child learn to self discipline later on. It is the way parents help their children learn self control that is needed for success in life as an adult. These inner controls help children know what to do and when to do it, even when parents are not around to help them any longer. This is vital to success in life.

The purpose of discipline is to raise responsible, confident children to think for themselves, care about others, and live satisfying and productive lives. The type of discipline a family uses strongly influences the self esteem of their children. Here are some good alternative suggestions for problem behaviors and situations:

Change the Scene.
If children misbehave in the grocery store, do not take them to the store. If church lasts an hour, and children cannot sit still, take them to the church nursery. If your child runs through the living room, arrange the furniture to block the path. Read about child development and talk with professionals like your child's teacher or health care provider to learn what to expect of your child.

Redirect, Distract, or Divert Attention.
When a child is about to do something wrong, redirect the attention of the child to something OK. Redirect a child who is sad about going to bed, to comfort a doll. A child who wants to play at the home business computer needs redirection to her own toys. A child who wants to hit needs redirection to hit a pillow or a ball or to exercise in another way

Be Firm and Consistent.
Being firm does not mean yelling or controlling. It means deciding and choosing rules that are most important in order to reflect your values. Carefully teach children correct behaviors. Show and teach them what to do. Be firm about things that really matter. Be flexible about less important types of misbehavior. Your tone of voice, specific words, and actions all show that you mean what you say. Children usually comply when their parents are firm. Research findings also indicate that children benefit from knowing that their parents are in charge. If these things do not work, visit your pediatrician with your child for advice and attention to the problem.

Ignore Some Types of Misbehavior Sometimes.
Some children misbehave specifically to get attention and this continues well into the adult years. Once you teach your child the correct behavior, it may be best to ignore attention getting behaviors like temper tantrums or foul language. The same is true of behaviors like silliness or exaggeration. These behaviors reflect immaturity and when a child is tired it will come out more prominently and more often. Your best discipline tool is your attention. Give children attention when they behave well. Try not to require that your child misbehave to get your attention.

Be Detached and Not Too Emotionally Invested - Do Not Discipline When You are Angry.
Pretend this is not your child, or wait until you cool down if you are angry. Imagine that you are correcting a niece, nephew, or neighbor. Sometimes parents stay calmer when they discipline someone else's children.

Stay Alert.
Deal with each potentially bad situation before it gets out of hand. Correct the child before you become frustrated and upset. Watch difficult situations carefully. There is not substitute for supervision.

Time Out is Not Punishment.
It is a special time to calm oneself. It gives everybody a chance to calm down to gain self control. When children fight or seem to lose self control, simply tell them they need a time out. Send them to separate rooms, chairs, anywhere to be alone for a while. There are many ways to gain composure: walking, drawing, listening to music, looking at a book. The type and length of the time out will vary for each person and situation. You can set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes. Eventually children will learn to pace themselves and schedule their own time outs.

Reverse Time Out is For Parents.
Take a time out yourself when you feel yourself getting out of control or angry. Tell the children you are taking a time out for yourself. Your example will help them learn self control.

Consequences
Consequences are a discipline method that says that experience is the best teacher. It means letting children have the dignity of dealing with results of their behavior.

It means not rescuing them. Let them deal with the consequences! It is not easy. There are many kinds of consequences, natural and logical. A natural consequence occurs naturally: You did not eat your dinner so you are hungry now. You can eat again at snack time.

Logical consequences are rules and amends you and your child make together. Your comments show the child that you care and understand their feelings. Example:

You broke your toy and wish it still worked. Do not buy a replacement toy, though.

Social consequences teach conflict management:

Johnny does not want to play with you, because you smashed the toy fort.

Some consequences are positive: You helped me with dishes. Now we can go to the park.

Try the above discipline methods and ask your pediatrician for more ideas and help.

Babies are probably the best thing that couples could have and enjoy but at the same time they can be silly imps that can make the same life intolerable and hectic to the extent of resulting to a mental break down.

However, they are many ways of raising babies and making them the wonderful creatures they are supposed to be, but all this has to be started from the first few weeks of birth right up to the teenage age and if done properly they will take care of themselves pleasantly during their adulthood.

For starters, the initial stage is to show them plenty of love which includes a lot of cuddling and holding as well as speaking softly to them though they can't talk at this stage, it is a good foundation as it will make them learn to speak at an early age.

The greatest mistake parents make here is shouting at the baby when he or she starts irritating them with screams and other anti-social behavior like breaking everything that they can get hold of.

The golden rule with babies is not to let their actions work you up or annoy you and you should always have it in mind that the toddler cannot take responsibility for their actions how ever annoying or disgusting they may be during their early life.

If a toddler grabs fragile house hold goods and breaks them by smashing them on the floor, the best thing to do is to pick up the child tenderly and keep him or her away from the debris prior to cleaning up the mess before whispering in his or her ear that he has done something wrong and should not repeat it again. After doing all this you can wind up the whole exercise with a kiss on the cheek.

How ever, the most crucial stage is after their first year when their curiosity rises to astronomical levels accompanied with hyper behavior, which leaves a lot to be desired.
It is during this period that constant attention to the child is required and just by turning your back on the kid for a few seconds could be disastrous. It is also during this time that the child starts to pick a few words here and there.

Most toddlers are known to have poor feeding habits during this period and its not surprising to see a kid refuse food after swallowing only one or two spoons. The best way of dealing with this is by offering a diversion while he or she is eating like giving them unique or pleasant sounds or by singing a captivating tune which they will enjoy as they eat.

Another way of dealing with poor feeders is by identifying their favorite dish and serving it as frequently as possible and in the process making them enjoy eating early in life.

Another bad characteristic that kids can easily pick at this early stage is violent behavior which is often passed to kids by their parents. It is common sense that if a kid sees the parents constantly fighting, then he or she is bound to be also violent in future.

It is imperative that kids should never see their parents shouting at each other or physically fighting as this will tend to leave emotional scars that will haunt them in future or even turn them into misfits.

It has been proven through statistics that most of the violent criminals had disturbing childhoods where their parents were abusive to each other or to them. In most cases children brought up in abusive homes often suffer from insecurity and find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships.

Babies should also never be threatened if they err, as this is common among impatient parents who use threats as a short cut to disciplining their kids. For instance a child will often be told that if they do not finish their food, an ogre will appear from the horizon and take them away to some horrible place.

It is through such actions that parents instill fear into their children not knowing that this will affect them in future as they will feel very insecure as they grow up.

Raising babies lovingly is not a Herculean task and what is needed is plenty of patience and love. It will also help if you spend as much time with your toddler as possible as you set a firm foundation for their future.

It is very important to facilitate the bonding of a newborn infant with his or her mother during the first 90 days post partum, or immediately after birth. It cannot be interrupted without severe complications. The central nervous system or CNS of the newborn infant is not complete, not yet fully developed, but still growing and maturing, just as the entire body and mind proceed to grow until at least the age of 18 years.

Recent studies available on the internet and in professional journals in the last 5 to 10 years have found that the brain and central nervous system never stop growing, or at least developing, and that the important white matter in the brain begins to grow more quickly and in greater amounts in individuals over the age of 50 years.

In addition, trauma to the brain and central nervous system will actually continue to heal until the death of the patient, on its own and with treatment and stimulation of various kinds. This was particularly important in the case of Terri Schiavo, but among infants, this is something that we can use more immediately for long term success in producing healthy people physically, spiritually, and psychologically. Damage to the brain and CNS of certain types is irreversible, as found by psychiatrist Dr. Barbara Houk at the Houk Institute in St. Louis, Missouri from approximately 1990 through 2006 in her brain research and brain function mapping. Dr Houk has spent her professional career in analyzing the functions of the brain and the particular functions of every section of it and at what stage of life each section comes into play.

One of the conditions found resulting from inadequate post partum care and maternal bonding in the first 90 days of life is low self esteem in the child and adult.The following is a framework for hope in the issue of low self esteem and is not inclusive of all the information or all the answers or possibilities in this issue. Achieving confidence and higher self esteem by an individual begins in the womb, with genetic factors, treatment of the pregnant woman (his/her mother) by her spouse, significant other, family, friends, coworkers, etc; and proper prenatal care proved the to mother (from Psychiatrist Barbara Houk, MD; St. Louis MO; research 1990 - 2006; National Self Esteem Organization, 2006; APA, 2006).

Abusive or otherwise dysfunctional persons or those with some types of SMDs, or Severe Mental Disorders can adversely affect the fetus prenatally with their inappropriate interactions with the mother, and a lack of proper care to the mother and fetus can result in low birth weight and other conditions that produce lower self confidence and self esteem scores in psychometric testing during the individual's lifetime (Houk , 2006). Post patrim, the newborn must bond,m uninterfered, with the mother fully and in the most positive ways during the first three months of life in order to become psychologically stable and physically healthy. Bonding with the father is also necessary. In addition, caretaking by healthy family members is also a positive.

Abusers and those with some SMDs that can interfere with this bond establishment through 90 days post partum are likely to adversely affect the infant as much or more than malnutrition and, of course, child abuse (child maltreatment, per the APA) and neglect itself. This is because the central nervous system is still developing and making connections, and the interference by inappropriate behaviors directed toward mother and child can interrupt this process with the results being untreatable, neurologically-based personality disorders and some Severe Mental Disorders in the child. Please note that Third World nations seclude the mother and child together for at least the first three months of life, often with positive female and even male helpers, and some industrialized societies use this method of bonding in certain regions (ibid.).

The above information can be used to PREVENT low self esteem, if they will be adopted by families prenatally. Education, training , and personal /community support can help toward this end. All this being said, there is much abuse among Americans and initially healthy infants may grow up in abusive homes and develop low self esteem as a result. In addition, the rise of bullyism in America and Canada has produced anti-abuse and anti-bully campaigns (Canada: the Bully Beware campaign). While prevention is preferable, TREATMENT then becomes necessary for these children and adults who were maltreated according the the American Psychological Association (APA, 2006; Houk,1990-2006).

Treatment may include classes at schools to educate youth and children about abuse and self esteem, awareness classes in the community, Public Health initiatives, support groups, parenting classes, churches, individual and group counseling, especially for Post Traumatic Stress arising from abuse, and even short term medications if appropriate.

The justice system at times must also be involved. Certainly, lower self esteem can be a problem for healthy individuals from time to time for a number of reasons , including losing a job, divorce, a series of failed business ventures, etc. These individuals, too, can benefit from psychological support, and even treatment if their negative feelings hold them back significantly or long term in any sphere of life.

It is important to have some close friends, human contact of a positive nature, and activities such as hobbies, sports, and interesting and meaningful work that can reinforce good self esteem and provide tasks that lead to tangible successes that the person with lower self esteem can recognize and incorporate in order to feel good about him(her)self.

Prejudice and bigotry, based in fear and low self esteem themselves, need to be erased from society, so a good step is to not teach them to the new baby. Lower self esteem and its results is a major problem in American society, but it cannot be permitted to be an excuse for poor school achievement, crime and other unwanted behaviors.

The above information provides some level of hope for solutions to the problem and the best solution is prevention. The best care possible in the first three months of life is vital.

By Heather Pohlabel

My mother once told me a story about one time when I was a toddler and we went shopping at JC Penney. We had a pretty good time until I saw something that I swore I must have. It was a brightly colored shirt. I begged and begged and begged, and time after time, my mother told me, "no, no, no!" I had finally given up asking and did what every parent dreads. I threw a temper tantrum in public.

I threw my little two year old body on the floor, the center of the aisle at that, and just screamed at the top of my lungs as I lay on my back kicking my feet and pounding my fists on the linoleum under me. I screamed "hawawahhhahhh ahhhhhhhhhhh... I wannnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaat... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmma! Mahhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" getting progressively louder and more out of sorts as tears streamed, flooding the aisle and snot ran from my nose, making my appearance anything but beautiful.

I kept screaming and screaming for my mother, but little did I realize that she had left me!
That was my mother's way of dealing with temper tantrums, by leaving or at least by hiding from us. By being out of my eye sight distance, after I had gotten all of my aggression and frustration out, I would look for her and in not seeing her, I would begin to worry more about where she was as opposed to how mad I was. I would totally forget why I was throwing the tantrum and begin to fret for my own life as I searched for my lost mother!

My mother's method of dealing with a tantrum was not cruel, but there are other ways to handle when your child is throwing a tantrum, however.

One method is ignoring it, much like my mother's method, but without actually leaving the child on the floor. There are some instances in life where you just cannot be out of the vision of your child for the sake of safety. Thirty years ago, my mother could have probably left me lie there and gone to the restroom, taken her packages to the car, and retrieved me when I was fast asleep on the floor; however, we know times have changed and this is not the case in this day and age.

In this instance, you need to be with your temper throwing child but just ignore him. This could happen, for example, in the store as you're pushing a shopping cart. Here you should just ignore your child and move as quickly as possible to the checkout line or to finish the chore. Stare straight ahead and move quickly. People will move out of the way and silently thank God that they are not you or that their child is not yours at this moment!

If you are lucky, your child will stop on his or her own. If not, it is advisable to exit the store as quickly as possible so that the screaming does not continue to bother everyone around you. When you get to the car, be patient and continue to ignore your child's tantrum. Go about business as usual. Put in your favorite song to unwind to and turn it up just a little bit more loudly than usual so you can hear it above the screaming. Release your frustrations by singing as loudly as possible.

With any luck you can scare the tantrum out of your child. If you happen to be somewhere where you can model your child's behavior back to him or her, give this a try. Often, children will even be appalled at what a tantrum looks like and will stop doing it, not permanently of course, but at least for this tantrum, and it may help curb further outbursts if they remember the silliness or severity of it. Sometimes all that kids need is a distraction, and you throwing a tantrum of your own is certainly a distraction!

Another distraction could be music. Whether it is your favorite song in the car or a soft soothing song at home, music can often soothe the beast!

Some children even respond to positive attention and discipline during a tantrum. Try talking about the situation with your temper flaring child by telling him or her what he or she had done, why the situation does not require a tantrum, how to handle it better, and hold them firmly in your lap and count to the number of months that they are. They physical contact could soothe your child, but never spank or shake during a tantrum. It is like "adding fuel to the fire" so to speak, and shaking is never a good method of gaining control, as it could cause death.

Your child needs guidance and a temper tantrum is nothing more than further proof of this fact.

By Heather Pohlabel

How many times have you heard one of your friends gossiping and orally reprimand another parent for spanking his or her children? And on the same note, how many times has another parent told you about swatting his or her child as a form of discipline? Both scenarios happen quite frequently to most parents who discuss their childrens' behavior with other parents. It can be a very uncomfortable or a very natural conversation, depending on your personal views on spanking.

The best advice that I can give about these types of conversations with other parents is to remember to be open minded, non judgmental, and supportive of other parents who choose to discuss discipline, behavior, and punishment with you, and to always be honest but not offensive or defensive when discussing your own methods or beliefs. While some parents spank and others don't, almost all have issues with it. Usually discussing it is a way to deal with it or to get other ideas for parents, so if a parent approaches you about discipline, he or she may just be looking for an alternative to what he or she is currently doing.

Even parents who spank have trouble doing it and ay feel uncomfortable discussing it. They may not know any other for of discipline their parents may have used spanking as the sole method of discipline and punishment, and they have just done what they know. Other parents who spank may do so because they have exhausted all other forms of discipline and this is the only one left.

Some parents who spank use spanking as the final straw after all other options and consequences have been used. For example, Karen spanks her boys when they do something that is wrong after she firsts talks to them about their behavior and gives them a chance to stop. If they don't stop, she then removes them from the situation by giving them a time out. If they throw a tantrum during the time out or come right out of time out and do the same thing, she spanks them.

Many parents who spank only do so occasionally, weighing some offenses as worthy of corporal punishment and other less punishable.

The American Academy of Pediatrics does not condone any form of corporal punishment, but many households in the United States still practice it.

The dilemma seems to arise from the message that is sent from spanking. Does "hitting" a child condone violence? There is much argument on this topic, and while many would say yes, there is another side yet to be heard and examined.

Hitting, for most, is a last resort. If I spank my children or threaten them with a spank, they do respond to me. It is slightly out of fear, yes, but shouldn't children fear their parents at least slightly? Isn't it OK for a child to refuse to do something wrong with their friends because of how their parents will react? Some would argue that spanking is not teaching them right from wrong; rather it is just punishing them.

Sometimes, others argue, children don't learn unless they're forced to face consequences. That consequence could be a spanking.

I know that my children know right from wrong. We talk about it all the time. We make choices and talk about why they are good or bad choices. We also talk about expectations and consequences.

Most often, my children receive a grounding. When they were younger, they received time outs. Experts recommend one minute per year of age for time outs (this only applies to the children, sorry!) We still do occasional time outs when tempers are flaring so that people can collect themselves and distance themselves from the situation.

Spanking in anger is not a good practice and can border on abuse or even lead to it. If one of your friends discusses spanking with you and you feel it is out o hand, you might want to suggest other forms of discipline to them if it sounds as if they hit in anger.

Spanking is a "touchy subject" and can be a topic of argument among parents. When confronted with this topic, remember to keep an open mind while being mindful to watch for signs of abuse. Remember, though, that not all spankers are abusers. Most parents who choose to spank have done so through careful reflection and thought.

Most, if not all, women are naturally worried as their first baby birth approaches. In most of the cases, these fears are forgotten after the birth, as all goes well. Here we shall take a look at the six commonest fears of expectant mothers on their first baby birth.

Fear of Pain

The first thing that would scare a first-time mother is the concern about the degree of pain the birth process will bring. It is not easy to predict how painful the experience is going to be for a particular woman since different women have different experiences of birth pain. Some remember the feeling of contractions as no more than strong period pains; others call it overwhelming. In any case, there are several ways to cope with the pain. A key fact about the feeling of pain is that the more worried a woman feels the worse is the anticipated pain. This is because fear causes a greater amount of adrenaline released in the body, which makes the contractions more intense. On the contrary, a relaxed condition causes the release of endorphins in the body, chemicals that act as natural pain-killers. Another factor in pain relief is proper breathing. Ample supply of oxygen to the uterus muscles takes away part of the pain. To cope with fear, it is recommended that the would-be mothers discuss the labor beforehand with midwives and other moms who have been through the childbirth experience. Regular breathing exercises are to be taken. Taking antenatal classes also helps much. In case, a woman cannot bear the pain at any stage, pain relief is available. While every contraction brings the delivery closer, the most painful phase is usually the transition i.e. when the baby's birth is just minutes away. And finally, it is important not to be scared by the horror stories of other moms; some exaggeration is always there.

Fear of Tearing

Tearing may happen when the baby's head is emerging. It is not as painful as it sounds by its name. In many cases, women in labor will not even feel it much as it takes only a split second. The alternative to tearing is episiotomy i.e. a small cut in the skin between the vagina and the anus. An increasing number of midwives think that tearing is a better option than episiotomy for being less painful and quicker to heal. One way of reducing the risk of tearing is by preparing the perineum (the skin between the vagina and the anus) with massage, preferably with specially manufactured oils for pregnancy. Some experts hold that assuming an upright or squatting birthing position is also helpful in preventing tearing. Seventy percent of women need some kind of stitching due to tearing or episiotomy. The stitching is done under a local anesthetic soon after the mom has had some time with her newborn infant. The stitches dissolve after a few days without leaving behind any long-term problems.

Fear of Putting Off the Partner

A common fear found among many women is that of losing their attraction to their partner following the baby's birth, especially after he has seen her in labor. This fear is pretty much baseless and the majority of men are not put off the sex appeal by seeing their partners in labor. Some partners do not want to be present at birth, so they should not be forced to be there. However, they can be encouraged to attend the antenatal classes.

Fear of the Baby's Health

The question 'could something be wrong with my baby' is the fear of many a woman. To the relief of worried would-be moms, majority of the babies have no complications at birth. With the latest technology used in gynecology, most problems are detected before the baby is born. If nothing is indicated in the tests, there is no need to worry. Even if a specific condition is diagnosed, it can be treated successfully most of the time. Problems that are commonly detected prior to birth include heart defects, kidney malfunctions, liver problems, club foot, and cleft lip and palate. The expectant mother should find about the diagnosed problem in detail before birth so as not to let the fear get worse than reality. Also, women need to keep away any guilt that their baby may have been harmed by something they did (smoking, drinking etc.). Usually, this is not the case.

Fear of Emptying Bowels in Labor

Close to the birth date of the baby, the woman's bowel is stimulated by the hormone prostaglandin. It can cause loose bowel movements and more frequent, and hence the fear of some women that they might poo in labor. This does happen in several cases of birth. The woman in labor may not even notice it and the midwife handling the case already has experience with this sort of situation. So it is nothing unusual to get embarrassed over. If the partner is present and there is this fear of loosing bowel control, he can be asked to stand by the head and hence see nothing of it.

Fear of a Panic Attack

While many women are afraid of having panic attack during labor, it is in fact more likely to happen during pregnancy than in labor. However, it is very uncommon and even women who experience high stress and anxiety most of the time do not have a panic attack in labor. Some panic attacks do happen, especially during the transition phase (when the baby is just minutes away). It has been found that the support of a caring partner in such cases is very helpful in preventing the onslaught of panic. Partners can help by cooling down their women with a damp flannel or massage their

The feeding needs for a baby change with time. Not all foods are appropriate for all ages and different foods enter the baby's menu after a minimum age limit is crossed. Generally, babies need to start on solid foods between four to six months of age because they need more nutrients than those found in the mother's milk or formula milk alone. Following is a helpful guide for mums to pick the right food for the first year of their growing babies.

From Birth to Four Months

Milk is the only healthy food for babies from their natal day to four months of age. At this stage, babies cannot bite or chew food. Also, their digestive apparatus is prone to allergies if food other than milk is offered. Both mother's milk and formula milk can be used for children of this age. Mother's milk is obviously superior to the synthetic alternative. Breastfeeding is the best method of feeding babies in this age categories. Mother's milk can be continued up to two years of the baby's age.

Four to Six Months

As the child enters his/her fourth month, solid foods need to be included in the diet. It is also the time to start teaching your baby how to take foods other than milk. Start with a teaspoon of vegetable or fruit puree, or a non-wheat-based cereal like sago or baby rice in a smooth puree. The puree can be of a variety of items like: (1) carrot, parsnip, potato, yam, or courgette (2) banana, cooked apple, pear or mango (3) rice, cornmeal, maize, millet, or baby rice mixed with baby's usual milk. You should gradually increase the quantity of food fed to the baby. It is best to feed the baby before or after a milk feed. About 6 weeks before the baby is six months old, start introducing other foods like purees of meat and poultry, purees of lentils or split pulses, full-fat milk products e.g. yoghurt, fromage frais, but check your family history for any allergies to these items.

Six to Nine Months

Entering the sixth month allows the baby to have almost any food given in mashed or minced form rather than pureed. You should preferably include the following:

(1) One serving of meat, fish, egg or alternative foods (tofu or pulses) daily
(2) Two to three servings of starchy food like potatoes, bread, rice, and unsweetened breakfast cereals every day
(3) Finger foods that encourage the child to chew. Take care that choking does not happen. You can offer the child foods like pitta bread, breadsticks, banana or peeled apple slices, cooked carrot or green beans, and hard cheese cubes.

Nine to Twelve Months

Now your baby is ready to eat three minced/chopped meals daily. Also, between the meals, he/she can have healthy snacks like fruit.

Drinks

For weaning the baby, use his/her usual milk as the main drink up to six months of age. From six months onward, you may offer beakers of boiled water or diluted fruit juice to be taken at meals.

Inappropriate Foods

Of course, you cannot let your child take everything to eat. Following is a list of foods not to be allowed your baby due to health concerns.

Sugar

Sugar leads to sweet tooth and tooth decay. If sweetening the food is necessary, try mashed banana, breast milk, or formula milk.

Salt

Salt is found naturally in foods and adding even a tiny amount to the baby's food can tamper with the baby's proper digestive system.

Before Six Months

The following foods should not be fed to the baby before six months of age.

Eggs
Fish and Shellfish
Citrus Fruits
Follow-on Milk
Cows' Milk (you can use it for cooking only)
Wheat Based Foods (wheat flour, breakfast cereals, and rusks)
Nuts and Seeds (including ground nuts and nut spreads; nuts contain gluten and also pose the risk of choking; nuts may also cause allergies in certain children)

Before Three Years

Avoid giving peanuts and their products to the child before three years of age.

Before Twelve Months

Honey should not be given to babies younger than twelve months. Honey can cause tooth decay and sweet tooth. Home can also cause serious illness (infant botulism) in young children due to the possible presence of spores.

As soon as a mother lifts her child in her arms for the very first cuddle, the process of bonding starts between her and her infant. The newborn baby is too young to communicate with the loving mom via speech or utterances. But even at this stage, the baby's five senses work well enough to internalize the maternal love pouring in on him/her. Through this sensory adventure, the baby feels the closeness of the mother's touch; identifies the motherly scent; hears the sound promising love and safety; looks into the welcoming eyes; and gets the first taste of mom's breast milk. As a mother, you can do several things, even as early as this, to make a strong bond with your baby by communication through the five senses. All you need to do is interact with your baby for 30 seconds at a time. Following ideas show you how to enrich your experience with your baby.

The Magic Touch of Love

Touch is vital to the bond between a mom and her baby. It is the direct means of physical closeness, bringing warmth and sense of security to both the child and the mother. The familiar maternal touch is the primary source of the baby's comfort. Handling the baby also boosts the mother's confidence and this aspect of touch is especially important for first-time mothers. Some research studies show that premature babies thrive from the skin-to-skin contact while they lie against their mother's chest. As a mom, you can set aside some peaceful time to hold your baby against your skin and enjoy the feelings closeness. A good time for this is after the baby's morning feed while you are still lying in bed. Your cuddles soothe your child when he/she is feeling fretful. In colicky condition, a very gentle massage on the abdomen helps to bring up the accumulated gas and bring relief to the child.

The Mother's Scent

The newborn infant is strongly sensitive to smell and recognizes your scent before starting to see your face. Studies show that babies as young as six days old can recognize the scent of their mom's milk, also distinguishing it from the milk of other women. A particular object of comfort to children is often soothing because of the mother's smell it carries. As the babies get older, they start wishing the comforting object with the mother’s smell be not washed. To use this sense of smell for stronger maternal-infant bonding, you can cuddle your baby up in a baby blanket and use the same one to tuck her in when he/she takes a nap. While parting with your young infant for a while, give the caregiver a piece of clothing that you have worn recently and that still bears your smell.

The Baby's Listening Sense

Researchers are now of the opinion that an infant becomes familiar with the mother's voice while still in the womb. Unborn babies have been reported to move in response to noise. Within three days of birth, a baby will turn his/her head upon hearing the mother's voice. However, the same baby will show no response to another woman's voice. Many people tend to talk in a higher-pitched voice to babies and this appears to be more stimulating for a baby than ordinary tone. So you can talk to your baby, regardless of what you actually say. Give the baby space to reply, answering for him/her yourself. Gradually, you will see, the baby pouts his/her lips in reply. Later the baby shows bubbles and gurgles. At about five to six months of age, the baby will usually display a smile at hearing your voice and even kick his/her legs. While talking to a baby, look at his/her face since it facilitates the process of verbal response easier. You may also give your baby some light music, rhythmic preferably, provided that the baby is in a lively mood. Avoid overwhelming the child with noise.

Taste

Babies are instinctively fond of the sweet taste of mom's breast milk. The baby shows natural rooting for the nipple i.e. opening his/her mouth and turn toward the mother's breast when brought near to it. While feeding your hungry baby, position yourself such that your face is exactly at the right distance from the baby's so that he/she can see you.

Mother in View

The baby can clearly see at birth, the eyes focus of the newborn being 20 to 25 cm, approximately the distance from your face to your breast. Now it makes perfect sense to assume that the breastfeeding process is a natural phenomenon that links all the five senses in a complete loving whole. The baby, while getting her natural food, learns to recognize your face which is at the right distance from his/her eyes. The baby also learns to imitate the mother's facial gestures by the age of two to three weeks.

Teaching Your Children Appreciation Creates A Stronger Child.


With each of the items you give your children, particularly at Holiday times, make sure you show them the beauty residing in each of gifts. Teaching them an appreciation for each item will make them find a new love in each of the items you are giving them.


I have a very cute story, which is followed up by how I feel this came about. As we all remember, being a child at Christmas time is excitement in itself. We all waited for Santa to arrive, and then we ran downstairs to rip open each present we had under the tree. After we were done opening our gifts, we sat and examined them throughout the remainder of the day. It's not very often we see something different than the reaction I have just expressed.


However, I have a four year old daughter, and let me tell you, she shocked both me and my husband beyond belief. I have always been one to show her little uncanny things each item does, and now I know the intelligence she has partly comes just from this area.


My four year old daughter got up on Christmas day, late. I mean,it was almost ten o' clock before she even rolled out of bed! My husband and I anxiously awaited her to crawl down the stairs in excitement. Eventually she did, first by greating us with "Merry Christmas", and then by grabbing her toy from the night before. She sat down on the floor and immediately started building something out of her intricate legos!


I looked at my husband in shock, and then asked her, "Paige, don't you want to open your presents Santa left you last night?" She kept working busilly with her building blocks, and then replied, "No. Not right now, thanks. I want to play with this toy first." I was shocked by her response, and had never seen such a thing.


So then I asked her again, "Are you sure you don't want to open another present? You have a few of them under the tree. It would be fun!" Once again she said to me, "No, I'm building this first." After a few minutes, she got up and came over to give us a hug. Then she asked us a question. She asked, "Do you know why I don't want to open a present yet?"


I smiled at her, and asked her why. She told me it's because each present she has under the tree is so very special, she wanted to take all day to open them all. She said she wanted to play with each thing after it was opened, and would only open the next present when she felt it was time. At that moment in time, I realized my daughter was so much more grown up than I had even anticipated.


She held true to her word, and while everyone called to see what everyone got, repeatedly they were told (all day long) we weren't finished opening presents yet. Each and ever person loved the story about why.


When your child wants to have something new, and you feel the need to get it for them, make sure you take the time to show them everything that can be done with it. Something as simple as alphabet blocks can be turned into something beautiful and mind transforming.


As a little theory to get the ball rolling, let me tell you some of the things I showed my daughter with her simple ten dollar gift she found to be so thrilling. Number one, they are great items to create imaginary buildings, and in more ways than one. They can be stacked, of course, but you can also use the pictures on the sides of each block to make scenery pictures. Additionally, your child can learn the alphabet, as well as learn how to read words.


To add a little interest to the alphabet blocks, I also purchased a magnetic toy by Leap Frog called the "Word Whammer". Not only does this item teach the child the letter and the sound it makes, but also teaches them how to spell and sound out three letter words. So my daughter feels proud of herself and what she can do, she uses the wooden alphabet blocks, because they have three letter words on them, and uses the word whammer to see what the word spells. This also gives her the option to practice her counting skills to figure out which words are three letter words.


Showing her this intellectually stimulating side of wooden blocks and the word whammer has already helped her to recognize words, and it has only been two days since she has opened them.


Keep your child enthused with creativity, intelligence and fun, and you are opening the door to a child which will amaze you with the mature way they learn to think about things.

By Christina VanGinkel

Did you ever notice that every so often, there seems to be a flux in the number of babies you see? Oh, you know, there are always babies, from newborn to toddlers that you run into with their parents and caregivers, but then, suddenly it seems like no matter where you look, you are seeing tiny babies seemingly everywhere, the grocery, or department store, in restaurants, at the park, even being dropped off at your gym's daycare. Sometimes you might actually be experiencing a true increase in the number of babies you see, but oftentimes, it is just that you are noticing what is already there!

What a woman wants is often what she is most tuned into, and babies are no different from that shiny new diamond pendant that you have been coveting, making every new piece of jewelry that your friends are sporting, seem like they are having all the fun and you are not. This is not to mean babies are the same as a piece of jewelry, just the way the human conscience sometimes explodes the fact that we want one, is. We see an infant, so small and perfect, bundled in a parent's arms, and we suddenly ache for that infant to be our own, snuggled close to us, and not somebody else. We want others to be envious of us. The thing is, when this happens, we are not always even conscious of it, it is just nature's way of ensuring that life goes on. While this is all well and good for nature though, in today's society there is a lot more thought that needs to go into having that little bundle of joy beyond the want. Financial responsibility, space for another child within the house we live in, agreement from our significant other on the subject, and much more.

Maybe you have consciously thought about having a baby, be it number one or four. Possibly, the idea has been there, but you have been suppressing it for a variety of reasons. You just got a promotion at work, or think you might be in the running and a raise sure would be nice. Maybe your baby is no longer at that baby stage, but well into toddler hood or even in school, and you find that while you are craving the idea of an infant once again in some ways, in many others, such as diapers and sleepless nights, you are not. It could even be that the actual thought of having a child scares you to death. You might feel that your world as you have come to know it would come to a screeching halt. Still, for some odd reason, you want a baby, and no amount of reasoning diminishes this simple truth.

Like any other major decision in your life, the possibility of having a baby, be it a first or an addition to a family that already consists of several children, is a big step, and acknowledging that fact is the best step that you can take. With this in mind then, the best way to make such a decision is to face it head on. Sit down with your significant other and discuss what your feelings are. They might be having similar thoughts, or just the opposite, with such an idea sending them into a tailspin of emotions that assures them that a child is the last thing they are ready to take on. Because of this, getting it all out in the open is the best way to make an informed decision.

No matter your decision, whether it ends up with you taking that leap of faith and trying physically for another baby, progressing with an adoption, setting up an appointment with a fertility specialist, or recognizing that right now is not the time in your life to be taking on the added responsibility of a child, at least you gave it the time and consideration such a monumental life decision deserves. Jumping into the idea of having a child or passing on such an important choice is not to be taken lightly. When you do decide though, you will at least know that you gave it the attention and thought that it was so deserving of.

As the New Year approaches, loving parents and guardians often find themselves at the doorstep of new resolutions that are worth making. A cursory glance at some of the common Dos and Donts on their list shows that they are nearly always focused on self-improvement. Typically these would include things like: I won't shout at my kid; I'll teach them colors; I'll not pester them about their homework, and so on. Ironically, as these loving mums and dads struggle to attain perfection of parenting, they easily slip out of the success criteria for a happier relationship with their kids. Let us look at how we can improve the relationship of a child to his/her parent or guardian.

Things that Interest the Kids

The simple reason underlying the anxiety of so many parents about their children is that they fail to understand what their children love. Most of the time parents are bent on improving their kids by such standards as timely sleep (health concerns), less television (attitude concerns), more study (good grades), food supplements (better diet), and so on. While they give a feeling of acting an ideal parent, soon the perfect parents feel the stress building up between themselves and the children. Children feel lack of freedom and poor motivation to act in ways they would otherwise have liked to act. To make the scene stress-free and happier, provide your child with interesting stuff that motivates his/her energies. You may choose to lay out a new selection of toys or household objects.

Relax Your Standards

Fixing too strict standards for a happy relationship undermines it. Most of the time, most of the things between a parent and his/her child are going okay. It is only on some occasions that a child starts resisting going to bed or show eagerness to eat up the supposedly perfect diet. Do not magnify it by inserting your own anxiety's lens over the matter. If the child persists in his/her unusualness, try to get to the root of the problem. May be the kid has watched some scary movie or heard a chilling story which is hindering his/her sleep; may be he is not attracted to the look or taste of the food you are offering. Relaxing the standards also means relaxing your own burden. If you are playing the well-known indulgent parent, the one cajoling kids each and every second, you must change your way of showing affection. It is not uncommon for excessively coddled kids to roar his/her head off when the parents leave him/her at home. Practice a reasonable level of strictness about timings and behavior.

Breaking the Rules

One working key to mutual happiness between parent and child is allowing yourself to break or bend the rules. Critically analyze your attitude rather than the child's; mostly it is the adult's failure to see things in positive light that causes discontent. Focus on the beauty of the relationship between you and your child rather than infesting your mind with worries about the child's graduation grades. Live in the present or you may spoil its beauty with unnecessary imposition.

Setting Achievable Goals

Many parents, in their overwhelming affection for their kids, set themselves unattainable goals; doing this and that for babies, some or all of which are not that easy to do. The result is disappointment and aggravation of anxiety. Such loving parents do not realize that the child's wee mind does not, and cannot, appreciate the procedure they follow for giving them the final product. If you go 200 miles off the town to bring jelly for your kid, he/she will not feel any happier than if you had brought it from the neighboring store. So save your time and spirits for giving your children simple pleasures of life. Take a look at what resolutions you need to make and what to break before seeing the first sun of a new year.

Resolutions to Make

First, you will need to get time for yourself so that you can gather enough energy for enjoying caring for your child.

Make time for your partner. Children grow healthy in the care of couples with healthy relationship.

Stop making 'to do' lists. Save your time for your children.

Keep in touch with your friends. Listen to their family life, especially the way they interact with their kids. Learn from their experiences.

Never gloat over making comparisons with other parents. See your family as a self-contained unit.

Resolutions to Break

Do not expect your kids to remain stimulated all day long. They do need some down-time.

Do away with your perfectionist habit of doing all your child's tasks for him/her. This stops their growth and preys on your healthy care giving.

Of course, you have sense enough not to expect your child an ever clean doll. Learn to enjoy the child's energies in dirtying him/herself during play.

Allow the kids some time with TV. They are humans and they need enjoyment.

Do not force patience upon your self. If you think the child needs a scowl, give a mild one. But don't scare him/her to death.

Babies as we know do not know how to talk but they actually communicate with us through their smiles or crying. To develop our communication with them is also stimulating their brains and other motor skills. This also let you realize what they needed when they do cry or smile. Whether we underestimate their capacity to send message on us, they somehow understood our simple gestures on them. When we care to them, like holding their hands, we can subtly feel the tightness of their grasp. It is a remarkable feeling on to them, showing their trust and security. It has been discovered that babies who had been given enough touch has an affect on them in terms of development.

Discover how your baby communicates in you through smiles and cries. Noticed that when you smile, they return it with a smile. This is because they feel excited to the attention you had given to them. They feel happy when you are responding to their gesture and through this; you are helping the baby to react. Reaction has a vital role in responding especially in communication. You help the child to pay attention to your gesture of making them happy. The child creates the emotion and therefore using it as a way of communication. The special connection was created and this way the child's brain as well as emotion was stimulated.

The baby who is responding learns to use his listening skills and visual. By doing so, you can make a small exercise in order for the baby to effectively use the skills. At the same time, you can teach the baby to take turns. Taking turns is essential in communication since it will give the idea of action-reaction. These are effective exercise for a baby in order for the baby to learn how to respond. Simply by holding a hand and letting go. Slowly hold the index of the baby and at the time he grasps it, wait for few seconds and then let go. The motor skill is develop since the baby will manage to hold the hand and let go. Another thing is our simple gestures of cuddling the baby. We only thought that making the baby smile back is just merely teasing them but it does help them to respond. In this way, it can help them manage their smiles or cries.

We easily understood if the baby is uncomfortable especially when they cry. By simple understanding what can be the causes of why the baby is crying then it will help us to know the remedies. Babies' cries for simple reasons, either they diapers are wet, when the temperature is hot or too cold and when they are hungry. Nevertheless, for some instances, babies like to be carried. However, some babies do not cry a lot as other babies are and vice versa. Learning from them also helps us meet their needs. In this case, we are ought to respond depending on the situation. In order for us to get a hint what they are trying to ask, try a small routine. When the baby is hungry, use a feeding bottle of milk and placing it in their mouth. If the baby continues to cry, the baby is not hungry. The baby might have the feeling of discomfort in the bed or due to wet diapers.


Occasionally, talk to your babies like simple nouns such as Mama or Papa. A study says that parents who talk to their babies will teach them to talk at an early age. Same true that they will learn a lot of words. Be excited when you hear familiar words as this will also excite them to speak it more often. They will listen intently to your words at the time they learn that you respond to them. In order for them to follow you, you must speak to them slowly, pronouncing each word by its vowels and consonants. Be excited in speaking to them to get their attention on you. Repeat it over and over gain so that they will remember the words. Once they enjoy hearing you, they might enjoy talking to you eventually.

Plays to them at the same time teach them to respond and communicate since this are the primary ways of having connection with them. One good way of playing is smiling to them. When they smile at you, give them a smile while nodding. A feeling of approval will relax them. When they babble respond by babbling as well. This type of interaction will soon teach them to listen, speak and even think.

Teach them to follow your words as to mimic your sound. By doing so, you will just be surprised that one day, you baby can utter the words you just said. If the baby is interested to the sound you just uttered, repeat it so that the baby can follow. Give simple gestures of smiling, as this will approve if the baby is doing it right. If not, repeat it again until the baby can fully utter the words. Do not be afraid to teach one word at a time, when the baby had said it right, encourages the baby to learn another word. This will enrich his knowledge in words and can make it faster for the baby to learn words.

Playing and this simple ways of connecting to the baby will ensure make them feel good. It will somehow release discomfort on to them, and will develop them to use this skills. Sometimes it helps if you use music also especially those songs intended for babies. This will help them to listen more. A study conducted that the babies trained to listen and respond accordingly really help them, as they grow older.

Enjoy cuddling the baby especially when they are awake. The more you get them to these simple exercises of responding and playing using their hands and mouth will let them develop more. We somehow underestimate their abilities but babies are best for learning. Instead of just waiting for them to cry or smile whenever they want to, as an adult be the first teach them to respond effectively. Be around them when they wiggle and do these funny gestures.

Being around with babies, learning from these gestures and responding to them does not only give me a clue to what they are trying to say but I also prevent them from crying a lot. I saw that the more you know what they meant, the easily for you to give them what they want. At the same time, you make an influence to their attitude as happy babies.

For parents firs encounter in changing diaper to their first-born child must at least had an idea how to change diapers. It is risky that you only know changing diapers on the actual experience. Consult your parents, physicians or read on how to change diapers since it will give you idea on how to actually do it.

Make sure that what the baby needs including the clothes, crib, diapers, milk, baby food, wipes, tissues and all necessary things are already prepared. Because as soon as the baby is in the house, your attention must always be on them. Never leave your sight from them when they are not place in a crib or anywhere that not secured.

The most crucial part of raising a baby is changing diapers since mother must know the sanitary ways. I can just remember when the baby cries aloud when they are wet and calms out when their diapers are being changed. This is because of the uncomfortable feeling they get since the wet diaper can cause itchiness in their skin.

There are different types of rashes we know and if we see red spots appearing to wet areas of their skin, we attribute it as rashes. Rashes commonly caused by heat when it is wet. Baby's skin is sensitive to any irritation. Therefore, changing diapers made to prevent the uncomfortable feeling they have.

It is better to keep the baby's skin dry all the time by changing the diapers. Using the right product of diaper is also essential. Try using a lot of product and notice how often you change the diapers in terms of absorbability. The better the diapers absorb wetness, the most common it dries up the wet from the skin. Make sure the design of the diaper can also make your baby sleep comfortably.

There are also different products in the market for babies such as wipes. Some wipes, since they were designed to be wet has alcohol content. Make sure the wipes you are using does not irritate your babies skin. This can also be the cause of skin irritation. Always ask for your pediatrician's advice on how to treat them especially when using ointments or creams. Be cautious in using powder to infants since they can be inhaled and cause lung injury.

These possible steps can help you lessen any diaper rash. Before changing the diapers, be sure that everything you need are all in one place. This includes the cloth, the diaper, powder, clothes and other necessary things you need to do. You must keep your eyes on the baby and not leaving it even for a second. Babies had the tendencies to move and wiggle.

Before administering of changing the diapers, make sure that your hands are thoroughly clean. Use soap and water to wash your hands. In a flat surface, place a cloth or any soft cushion to lay the baby comfortably. Prepare the diaper in the side take all the straps.

Lay the baby on the surface and remove the dirty diaper. Make sure you have a garbage can or plastic cellophane to instantly keep it away from the baby. Use a washcloth dipped in a clean water. Wipe all areas that the diaper covers especially to the areas where it is mostly wet. Wipe from front to back to prevent infection. Lastly, put a clean diaper on the baby. Make sure that the umbilical cord is not covered.

It is best to change the baby's diapers as soon as they are wet since babies are prone to infection and rashes. Always dispose the soiled diapers properly.

Babies soft sensitive skin must always be kept dry, wet diapers cause them rashes. If rashes occur, they always cannot sleep properly. The feeling of discomfort gets through them especially at night. Parents must always keep in mind the safety of their babies. Make sure that the baby's bed is also clean and in the right temperature. It should not be too warm or too cold.

These things are simple tips but are vital knowledge in order to keep the baby safe. Make sure that the baby's surrounding is also safe including the room, the air and the things you use especially the products of diapers and wipes. Babies use at least 10 diapers a day and remember that it should always be kept dry.

By Brandi M. Seals

While cold weather and snow may illicit a groan and a few shivers out of you, chances are your child loves it. Growing up in Michigan, snow was a constant every winter. It was never a question of will it snow. Only one of when will it snow.

I remember I would get up every morning and look out the windows to see if the snow had come. I started this as soon as the temperatures cooled down. Generally the first week of December was the start of it. I considered it a birthday present, as my birthday is in the first week of December.

The first thing I wanted to do was suit up and head out to play. Breakfast did not matter. Brushing my hair and teeth could wait. The snow came first and I wanted to be the first to play in it. Of course, my mother never let me skip these steps, but I always hoped she would.

My favorite snow activities were much like any child's. I wanted to slip and slid around on the cold stuff. I wanted to eat it and lay in it. Anything involving snow peaked my interests.

Top Cold Weather Activities

4.) Make a snow angel
Snow angels are fun to make but they take no time at all so they are at the bottom of the list. To make a snow angel, simply stand in the snow and fall back flat (the goal is to have very few footprints around the angel). Once you are on your back, flap your arms and legs as if you were trying to fly. Carefully get up and jump away from the area. You will see an impression that looks like an angel.

3.) Build a snowman
Making a snowman was a favorite task of mine. It was not often that we got good packing snow (snow with a bit more moisture to it) but when we did, I would always make a snow man.

To start any snowman, make a snow ball. Then lay it on the ground and begin rolling it over fresh snow. The more you roll, the larger the ball will get. Try to avoid picking up all the snow in a given area as it will result in a dirty snowman (dirt and grass will be picked up by the snow). You want to do three of these balls in varying sizes. The largest will be the bottom of the snowman. The next largest is the center and the smallest snowball is the head.

Many children like to decorate their snowmen. You can use buttons and a carrot to form the snowman's face if you are traditional but feel free to experiment with different materials or even an entirely different look.

2.) Build a fort
I always wanted a snow fort but the snow was rarely deep enough to make a good one. I remember one year we had a bit of a blizzard and the snow was about two foot deep. It is during that year that I had my one and only snow fort.

I took a little help from my parents on this one. They plowed the area so that walls were formed by the piled up snow. I then went in and shaped the walls more to my liking and even dug benches into the area.

If you get enough snow for a fort, it can be a lot of fun to build one. Simply stack up the snow for the walls. You could do all of this by hand, with the use of a shovel or even with a plow. Keep in mind that forts take quite awhile to build but once they are up, they make for an excellent play area. The size and shape of the fort is up to you. If you want, you can even build a top to the fort, kind of like an igloo. To do so, you will probably need some cold water to mix in with the snow to make it hold onto itself better.

1.) Sledding
What kid does not love sledding? All you need is a sled and a hill and you are all set. The first ride down is not the best as you need to pack the snow down a little but every subsequent rid is a lot of fun. Zoom down the hill and see how far you go. Get a running start and dive into the sled. There are a lot of ways to vary the speed you go down the hill. Have fun finding what you like best.

By Brandi M. Seals

Your child may not be old enough to ring in the New Year at midnight, but he or she can certainly have a good time on December 31st. I have compiled a number of craft that will keep the kids busy and allow them to have a great time this New Years Eve.

Create a time Capsule
Time capsules are a great project for kids. Sometimes it is hard for them to grasp the concept of time or even to see how things have changed. Make a time capsule together this year and open it next year. Or, wait to open it 5 years down the road.

The capsule will be made from any tin you have laying around the house. Chances are you have popcorn or cookie tins lying around somewhere. If not, try coming up with some other sort of capsule.

Supplies
Tin or other object that will serve as the time capsule. Make sure it is washed and dried.
Sandpaper
Paint
Paint brushes
Assorted memorabilia

Directions
Separate the tin and its lid.

Use the sandpaper to sand the external surface of the tin and its top. This is so that the paint will stick to the surface.

Brush or wipe off the tin

Lay down newspapers

Use the paints to paint the tin any way you like. Do all painting over the newspaper so as to avoid making a mess. Feel free to paint messages on the tin such as "Time Capsule. Do not open until January 1, 2008."
Let the paint dry

Gather items to place in the time capsule. You could use report cards, great photographs, treasured sports cards or anything else that the children love. Also include a note from each family member saying how they see themselves in the future or what they predict for the coming year.

Place the tin somewhere you will be able to find it when it is time to open it.

New Years Celebration Hats
Every kid I know loves party hats. Have your child make his or her own party hat for the celebration. Start by creating a cone shaped hat out of construction paper. You can find patterns on the internet to do this or simply roll the paper and trim the edges so that a cone forms. Staple the ends so that the hat maintains its shape.

You can use any color construction paper and any weight. I recommend something thinner than poster board but not as thin as tissue paper.

Supplies
Pre-made hat
Glue
Confetti
Glitter
Other decorations
Stapler
Elastic string or large rubber band
Scissors

Directions Use glue to add decorations to the hat. Spread glue where ever you want the glitter to stick and than sprinkle it on. Be sure to have some newspaper down to catch falling decoration.

Once the decorations are attached, let the hat dry.

Cut the rubber band so that it makes a long elastic string or simply use an elastic string. Staple the string to the sides of the hat so that you create strap that will tuck under the child’s chin and hold the hat in place.

Holiday Clock
Since the little ones often are not able to stay up late enough, why not make a clock and have the kids do a countdown at a more convenient time. They can celebrate like the New Year has come in even if it is only at 8 pm.

Supplies
Paper plate
Construction Paper
Brads or other metal fastener
Glitter in a variety of colors
Black Marker
Paint
Paint brushes
Craft Glue
Scissors

Directions
Use the glitter and paint to decorate the paper plate any way you like. Be sure to work on a covered surface so that table tops do not get ruined.

Be sure to cut numbers out of the construction paper, simply paint on the numbers in the appropriate areas, or draw them on using the markers. Make the celebration time look special by drawing flowers, fireworks, or whatever you would like.

Cut out the clock's hands from the construction paper. You may want to use different colors for the hours hand and the minutes hand.

Punch a small hole in the center of the clock.

Punch a small hole in the end of the hands.

Attach the hands to the brad and fasten it to the paper plate.

Paint a black border around the outside edge of the paper plate so that it really does look like a clock face.

Allow the paint to dry.

By Brandi M. Seals

It can be difficult to get through the holiday season without at least one of the kids throwing a temper tantrum while over at so-and-so's house. Face it; most young kids do not have the attention span to sit around at a relative's house for hours on end while the adults reminisce. They key to getting through the holidays without making a scene is to make sure that your child is entertained and fully rested.

I cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining routines. If your child usually goes to bed at 8:30 pm, there is no way you can keep him out until 10 pm and not expect there to be problems. Sometimes bringing the kids along means leaving earlier than you want to, but trust me, it will be worth it. That way you get to spend quality time with your friends and family. You are not busy chasing a renegade toddler around the room.

While maintaining the child's nap and sleep schedule, it is also important to keep their feeding schedule. Ever notice how kids get really cranky when they are hungry? Avoid that by scheduling dinner and lunch the same as always. If someone else is hosting the get together and they have selected an alternate time, come prepared. Bring along a baggie of veggies that the kids can nibble on if they get hungry before the food is done. This will go a long way in avoiding any unwanted scenes.

Now that the child's schedules have been maintained, it is time to learn how to keep the kid entertained. Chances are you do not want to plop him down in the other room with a video since he would miss out on everything. Hold on to that video as a last resort if nothing else seems to work, but there a number of games you can try first. My two favorites are the quiet game and hide the penny.

The Quiet Game
If you are not familiar with the quiet game, chances are you did not go out much with your family as a small child. It was a staple at any family get together I ever went to. I used to love the quiet game. I was pretty good at it though I could never outlast the others.

The quiet game needs at least two players. If there are no other children at the event, you can play with your child or you can rework things so that it is a one-player game. The concept is simple; whoever can be quiet the longest wins. Any peeps end the game.

It is amazing that I never picked up on the fact that the sole purpose of this game was to get me to shut up. I think I was around 12 when I was like "hey, wait a minute..." Chances are your child will love the quiet game as much as I did. When I would inadvertently say something I always begged to start playing again. The quiet game is a classic stand by.

Hide the Penny
Keep your child's mind preoccupied with a hide and seek sort of game. My family always used a penny because there were plenty on hand. Feel free to use some other object. With hide the penny, it is one person's responsibility to hide the penny anywhere he or she wants. Then whoever else is playing must find the penny. The person who hid it must give hot and cold cues until the penny is found. Then whoever found it gets to hide it.

Mama's Little Helper
If your child is not in the mood for games or there is no one available to play with him, get him to help out. If your child is young enough, helping seems like fun. You can cut up veggies for the veggie platter and allow junior to arrange them on the tray. There are numerous tasks that your children can do. Let them stir something you are making. Have them grab things from the pantry. As long as your child feels involved, chances are he will be entertained and well-behaved.

Best of luck to all of you out there with little ones. The holiday season does not have to be as hectic as some people make it out to be. Keep your child's limitations in mind (like how long he can sit around being quite and perfectly behaved) and never hesitate to accommodate your child's schedule and needs.

By Brandi M. Seals

Just about everyone I know makes a New Years resolution on December 31st, but it does not last long. Somehow every one's motivation seems to get zapped by March at the latest and good intentions go out the window.

I think New Years resolutions could work if the people who make them are serious about wanting to accomplish the goal. However, most people give up when they do not see a measurable difference. Or, they have made their resolution about someone else and soon learn that they cannot control someone else's behavior.

Which of these bad resolutions have you made in the past?

1.) I am going to make my kids behave better
While this is a great goal, it is not entirely realistic. You cannot control how another person behaves and are therefore doomed to fail. The only person you can control is yourself. Use that as your guide when it comes to making resolutions. I am not saying that you should let your children run amok or that there is no possible way of teaching them to behave appropriately. I am merely pointing out that your resolution should deal with you. Maybe you could do something like "I will set a better example for my children" or "I will punish my children when they do something wrong regardless of how cute they look. That way they will grow up knowing what is right and wrong."

When you set a resolution you need to give yourself guidance. If you only said you were going to make the kids behave better, you have not outlined how you are going to make that happen. Maybe you did that because you did not know what you needed to do to get the kids to behave better, but nothing is stopping you from finding out what you can do. If you do not know your role in something there is no way you can change things. Take a step back and see if you can figure out what you need to do on your own. If not, ask your spouse, parents, or a friend for their insight. Sometimes you are too close to something to see it objectively.

The other day I went downtown with my husband to look at the Christmas lights up around the Square. A little kid came tearing through, running along a ledge. When we got closer to where his mother was standing it became obvious that she wanted him to stop but all she said was "Stop! Come down here right now. Oh well…"

That seems to be the problem now days. I see many parents who refuse to put their foot down and their kids are getting away with disobeying. I could talk about what would have happened in this situation when I was little, but I will spare you. All I mean to point out is that this mom is allowing her child to misbehave. She acts like she has no ability to stop the child, but she does. She just needs to take control. Maybe she does not realize that she has that power since she is too close to the situation.

2.) I am going to lose all this extra pregnancy weight
After the baby is born, sometimes that pregnancy weight likes to hang around. If your resolution is to get rid of the added weight, that is great. But, you need to be a lot more specific than "I am going to lose all this extra pregnancy weight" if you want to accomplish that goal.

Let's say you have 20 pounds to lose. If you do not outline your plan of attack or even break down your goal into smaller goals, chances are you will end up feeling defeated. Stop that by rephrasing the resolution. Say "I will only eat out one night a month. I will not drink pop. And, I will walk at least 20 minutes everyday." Now it sounds like you have a game plan. Add in goals, like "I will lose two pounds in a week" or "I will lose 6 pounds this month." Make goals that are obtainable. You will be happy and excited when you meet those goals and it will help keep your spirits and moral up so that you can finish out the whole 20 pounds.

There are countless more examples I could give but the main point is to be specific and to set obtainable goals. Good luck.

Liza Kollman

I want a baby. Okay, I'll admit it. I want a baby, and I want one right now.

My fiance and I have had a two year long engagement. I thought that there would be ample time to plan the wedding, enough time to figure out what we wanted to do after the wedding, and all of that kind of thing. I thought that no way would we be rushed or stressed or anything. And then, I thought, since neither of us were ready for kids, we'd give ourselves plenty of time to get ready, before we even got down the aisle.

That was the summer before last. Now, the wedding is sneaking up on us like nothing I have ever experienced before. Every day I do something for the wedding, and every day I add ten more things to my to do list. It is more than crazy, and I am more than stressed, more than freaked out. I can't believe that I ever thought we could somehow plan a wedding and think that even with two years, we wouldn’t be stressed. Know what happened? We didn’t do anything for months! We kept telling ourselves that we had plenty of time, so why bother doing anything yet. Well, it snuck by us. We had our one year pre-anniversary and we realized that we hadn’t done a thing as far as planning went… and so we finally got started. And now we are planning out our ears, I tell you. J

That’s all fine and dandy, but we have a small problem. Somewhere around the time we realized we hadn’t planned for our wedding, we also realized that we both were starting to stare at babies in supermarkets and seriously consider taking them home with us. We started to talk about baby names and argue about whose relatives to honor with middle names. My cousins kept having children – there are 18 grand kids on my mom’s side of the family, and now 7 of them have kids. Guess what, there are only 3 cousins older than me. That means that all three above me, and four who are younger than me are parents already. And I’m not!

Seriously! We aren’t even getting married for another 5 months, and we’ve got all of our children’s names picked out. We sit around and talk about what we’re gonna call our kids, how we are going to educate them and what kinds of family rules we’ll have once we have children. Its unbelievable! It takes all my will power to not go ahead and throw away my birth control right now.

Know what keeps me going? The only thing that keeps me from having a baby right this instant is that I realize that I have spent 800 dollars on a dress, and I can’t afford to get it altered to fit a pregnant me in five months. I just can’t. Otherwise, sure. We’d be going for it right now.

Why do I want a baby so much? I always thought that the whole idea of a biological clock was a little silly. I thought that it would be different when I had my own kids, thought that there’d be just this part of me that figured, okay, time to have kids. That I’d just do it because society said it was time and we figured we were ready. I thought that we’d wait until we had enough money, and until we had our heads on straight when it came to what we were going to do with our lives. We’d both have careers, we’d have a great house, no outstanding credit card bills, and we’d be ready to go ahead and have a child. Or two. Or four.

But then, just recently, there is this overwhelming need for a baby. I learned quite rapidly that the biological clock is totally and completely real. It is something that does work, and it comes on all of the sudden, without any warning. Its ridiculous, and its crazy, but it is true. We have GOT to have a child. I just can’t go any further without one!

It didn’t help matters much that my friend started up a photo blog where she kept track of some of the pictures she had done of children. She’s a professional photographer, and she has this amazing way of capturing the pure delight and wonderful-ness that is children. She posts new photos all of the time and sends out notes to say that there are new pictures. I, of course, spend a lot of time looking at her beautiful pictures, and thinking about the day that we’ll be paying her to come take those great pictures of our kids. I seriously can’t wait.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think so. There is just something in a person that says that they are ready to be a parent. Something that tells them that the time has come, and that they need to get going and just do it, become a parent. Have a child. I can’t wait. I think about it all of the time.

I heard once that since my fiancé and I spend so much time trying to figure out how we will raise our kids, that means we are going to be good parents. I guess I can see that. We’ve got so many plans, so many things that we want our kids to be, and so many things that we hope our kids will do, and we’re not even expecting yet. It seems so amazing to me, but its true. I am thinking that since we spend so much time thinking about it and planning for it, we’re going to be okay at it. One thing we like to do is watch Super Nanny on television. That’s the lady who tells other people how they have raised their kids the wrong way, and what they need to do in the future in order to make it better. I think that she is just great, and I can’t wait until I have kids so I can follow her advise. I have already told my fiancé all about the things that she says, and how we should do those things with our kids. I think that somewhere, deep inside, he believes me.

And I’m not the only one who wants a baby, either. He’s a couple of years older than I am, and when I started to talk about how much I wanted a baby, he seemed to think I was absolutely crazy. He seemed to think that there was no way this was going to be possible, and that it was silly for me to even consider wanting a baby right away. He thought that we should wait for a few years after we got married to have kids. And I thought that he was being a little dramatic, but I figured we’d see what happened. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he had a dream about a baby, and it was our baby, and since then, babies are all that he talks about.

We’re in real trouble, I think.

Congratulations! You have had a baby and have decided to not return to the job you really do not miss but instead have made the big decision to be a stay at home mom who works from your own little corner of the world- your cozy home office. Whether you have lots of space or are starting out with a shoebox size, make the most of your home office by setting it up in a manner that will help increase your productivity and will help keep your energy and your level of morale as high as it should be to do the best job you know you are capable of.

Here are some things to consider when arranging your office to fit Feng Shui principles. Do not worry, your home office will be Feng Shui friendly in no time flat!

First of all arrange your desk to have it sitting in the corner farthest from the entrance but do not sit in line with the door as this breeds negative energy. In the ancient art of Feng Shui, negative energy is referred to as sha. Obstacles and problems are believed to arise if a worker is in alignment with a door, especially if it is the main door to the office so be aware of this.

It is also smart to avoid arranging your desk so that it looks out into a hallway, a staircase, closets, storage rooms or bathrooms. In a home this is not always an easy task but try your best to make it so.

Have your chair positioned so that a wall is behind your back and avoid sitting with a window behind you because this makes you vulnerable (and it can be drafty on chilly days!). If having a window behind you is unavoidable, try to minimize the negative effect of it by placing a screen between your chair and the window or draw the drapes or blinds and keep them closed as long as you are at your desk.

Do not place any of these items near the main door of your office- a photocopy machine, a paper cutter or an empty vase. A full vase of flowers is fine, but once the flowers are dead, move the vase someone out if sight. Empty vases also look sad and unused.

Always place the fax machine in the wealth sector or the wealth area (as it is sometimes referred to) of your office. This area is the far right corner of the room. The same applies to the arrangement of your telephone and computer. Place them in the far right corner of your desk along with a crystal paperweight. This helps to increase sales (if you are into that type of at-home work). Placing the paperweight on top of any paperwork related to incoming funds should help it grow. The opposite is true if you place a paperweight on top of a pile of bills that you need to pay so watch where you put that paperweight!

In Feng Shui dragons symbolize courage and inspiration and it is believed that seeing a dragon stimulates the subconscious mind to strive to be more successful. For this reason consider placing a dragon figurine on the right hand side of your desk, with its face towards a window or door.

Keep clutter away from your home office as it goes without saying that clutter is the enemy of Feng Shui. Do not allow your office space or desk to become cluttered. Get into a habit of organizing and tidying up your desk and work area on a consistent basis. Keep the desktop as clear as possible by filing papers and folders away in drawers.

The flow of money is symbolized by flowing water. If increasing cash flow is a priority, place an indoor fountain or aquarium (with black or blue fish preferably) in the wealth area of your home office, which is the far right corner. Many department stores sell plug in or battery operated fountains, as they do not have to be elaborate or overly big. A water feature is also considered good for the mental and physical well being of a person. Flowing water counteracts the effects of indoor heating and/or air conditioning by adding healthy, negatively charged ions to the air.

Plants are excellent for a home office as plants with round, smooth leaves help increase the flow of positive chi (which is positive life energy) and are good for air quality. However avoid plants with sharp pointed leaves or thorns such as cactuses. Another positive pick me up for your home officer that is likely to work wonders is to place hanging crystals in sun-lit windows. The positive chi that this generates will definitely make a great deal of difference to the environment.

If falling ill is a problem of yours, consider the Feng Shui solution for maladies, which is to increase the metal element in the office. Hang a wind chime made up of six or seven metal rods, about one foot long each, over your desk as the sound of metal clanking together is thought to be therapeutic. Hanging a crystal in the general area is also supposed to be helpful in increasing positive chi energy and destroying negative sha energy.

Keep the cords to all of your office equipment well concealed in order to avoid clutter, injury and to allow chi to flow as freely about the room as possible. You do not want to fall on your way to care for your baby!

Maintain control over your office by keeping mirrors away from your space. Mirrors are believed to reflect any negative energy, characteristics or moods from clients to others in attendance in the room. If you must have a mirror keep a small hand held one in your desk drawer, and only bring it out when you are alone.

Burning a fragrant candle (the scent you choose is up to you) in your office is a terrific way to promote positive energy. A candle changes the dynamics of the atmosphere of an office and casts everything in a soft, glowing light, which is welcoming and calming to everyone who enters. Of course remember burning candles can be dangerous if you are not paying attention. Snuff it out when you plan to leave the room.

Two more points to keep in mind for your office:

Balance the colors and materials you choose for your office very carefully. In other words, have a harmonious mix of light and dark colors, soft and hard surfaces, and smooth and rough textures. In Feng Shui this is considered to be balancing the yin and yang, which is always a good practice to get into.

The artwork you choose is more important than most people realize. You will notice a positive or negative effect from the photographs and or paintings hanging on your walls. The office is not the place for experimental artwork; instead choose pictures that are expansive, inviting, beautiful and lush. Examples of good pieces to adorn your walls with are waterfalls, beaches, mountain scenes, trees, bright blue skies and fields alive with colorful flowers. Viewing artwork such as these makes people feel alive, happy, creative and successful (which includes you because it is your office after all).

Make sure you keep the baby monitor on at all times when you are in your home office and make sure you place it in a spot where you can hear your little one when he or she cries out for you!

One of the most amusing things to observe this holiday season is the non-stop hurdles people go through to buy those hard-to-find gifts. Never mind the new Wii system, what's relevant here are the seemingly non-existent TMX Elmo dolls that is the supposed hot toy for infants, toddlers and preschoolers. Who can't get a kick out of reading the reports of people waiting in line before dawn for the stores to open only to find out the store's inventory was woefully inadequate for the Elmo dolls? Meaning they waited in vain. It's easy to sense the disappointment shopping parents feel in seeing the rows of other Elmo toys but not the TMX Elmo. Their babies just had to have it. That is just the epitome of the shopping madness. All too often parents have this need to get the latest and the best toy for their developing babies. And the manufacturers are all too eager to sell their goods as the best thing ever invented to help develop a young mind.

Well after observing my child's recent birthday celebration, I am now convinced not to give in to that insanity. Sure my child loves Elmo but I doubt he'll discern one Elmo doll from the next. In fact, I know he cannot. Elmo is Elmo no matter what. What he is attracted to is the character's very bright red color. For instance, I purchased that giggling Elmo chair and he doesn't even use it to sit on, never mind that as a one year old he doesn't grasp the concept of a chair (though he can sit up). To him it was just a toy to chew on and toss around his play pen. My spouse and I spoke to a sales associate at a toy store last month and asked about the TMX Elmo out of curiosity. She told us that only a handful were released during the summer and that toy company's purposely hold back production to create demand when the potential for profit is the greatest. That happens to be during the holidays. By the way, she put aside one of the TMX Elmos for her infant nephew only to find out that he was terrified of it.

But it isn't just the Elmo toys, my spouse and I bought a few large gifts for our child's birthday and the holidays. After seeing his reaction to the few large gifts he received on his birthday and what happened the day after, I stand by this observation. Parents are better off not giving expensive toys to their infants and letting them play with the wrapping paper instead.

This does not mean I'm advocating that babies be allowed to play with potentially harmful objects like plastic bags. No but if the baby is properly supervised it's fine to let him or her play with a good sturdy box that is colorful. Many kinds of containers make for interesting toys and they can be modified to be as such. I took a cardboard cylinder used for popcorn, cleaned it well, sealed the top and voila a little drum for my infant to bang his palms on. As long as the object is safe and colorful and noisy it will keep your infant's attention for quite a while. I have not done any research on this but I think these kind of makeshift toys are good for the imagination. If this does not make you comfortable then try making toys for your baby. The time spent on crafting them makes for a wonderful experience that is enriched by your child's enjoyment. Also do not be afraid to get an inexpensive toy from a ninety-nine-cents store, those toys can be just as good as the so-called hot thing that honestly your child will not care about.

The morale of this story? Save the bucks for something more meaningful like a trust fund or a college education, those will last longer. It's okay to give a few toys and such but do not go overboard and besides this constant showering of abundant toys will probably just spoil your child and it's so easy to get into the habit when your children are so young and impressionable. Think about that before letting guilt drive you into spending hundreds online for the latest Elmo toy.

And for those who want to get something for a relative or friend's baby, contribute to a trust fund because let's face it; babies outgrow clothes overnight and toys will go either way in attaining an infant's (or older child's) interest. - - J.L. Soto

Postpartum depression has been in the news often recently because of Andrea Yates and other cases in which women killed their children because of their emotional state in the postpartum months. Most women, however, experience only mild versions of postpartum depression. Yates and others like her actually suffer from postpartum psychosis, which is a much more severe illness.

First know that most mothers who get postpartum depression will experience it at around three to four months postpartum. When your baby is first born, you will find that your emotional state will vary wildly because of your hormones. Your estrogen level drops a few days after the baby is born, and many women report feeling overly emotional during this time.

After a few weeks, however, you will get into the routine of having a baby, and it is at that point when the depression begins to sink in for many new moms. If you have never dealt with depression before, as many women who face the postpartum version of this illness have not, then you likely will be confused by your feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. Other moms, who have been depressed before, will know where they are headed but still may find it difficult to change how they feel.

If you think that you may be getting depressed, you should act now to keep the illness from progressing. Please note that if you feel suicidal or if you think that you are just getting worse, it is best to call a doctor now for professional advice.

What many women will experience, however, is a very mild version of the disorder, which often is called the baby blues. You may not be clinically depressed, but you still feel crummy. You can help yourself get better if that is how you feel. Begin by writing about your feelings. A lot of people, especially those who are not natural writers, may feel silly about writing down their feelings, but it may help. Think about questions if it helps you. How do you feel? Do you feel worse during certain times of the day? Are there things that you want to change about your life? Be specific in your writings.

Once you have begun to identify what you want to change, then you will be able to begin to make small changes. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed with all of the work a new baby requires. (Even if you thought you were prepared, chances are that the baby is more work than you had imagined!) You may want to make yourself feel better by giving yourself a manicure or pedicure. You can buy an inexpensive kit or make one up for yourself. Look online for inexpensive home spa treatments and give yourself half an hour of pampering after baby goes to bed a couple of times a month.

You also may find that you do not feel great about your body right now. Many women make it through pregnancy without worrying about their shape because they are focused on the baby. Then when the baby arrives, Mom finds that she does not have the pregnancy reason anymore, and she gets frustrated. You can make small changes that will begin to impact how you feel about your health. For example, you can make a promise to yourself to drink at least three glasses of water a day. You also can get at least 15 minutes in for a walk or other low-key exercise activity everyday. These small steps will help you to feel better about yourself in the long run.

Do not neglect your old friends and hobbies once your baby arrives. Many women begin to feel trapped because they are not happy being with the baby all the time (but often are ashamed to admit it). It is okay to feel that way. You should work to give yourself time to indulge in your hobbies, even if you have to alter what you do. Perhaps your sculpting plans need to come down a bit. Work to make your new baby and the rest of your life go hand in hand. Remember that you are still important, and your needs matter. Give yourself the love you deserve.

When you start a family, who will care for your children? It's perhaps the hardest question to answer, and you began considering and weighing your options as soon as the pregnancy test turned out to be positive. Some of us think about it for years, long before we conceive, or even have a spouse, for that matter. It's a hot media topic, and when women of differing opinions get together and try to discuss it both sides often leave the table angry and confused. The stay at home parent corner claims that it's better for your child, helps them learn, makes them more secure, and that it's your duty as a parent to become a full time caregiver and devote yourself solely to your family...anything else is neglect. The working parents assert that involving your child with other adults and children in a day care atmosphere helps their social skills, makes them more secure, and that if you choose to stay at home you aren't fulfilling your potential as a person because you should have a career and a family, not either or. Stay at home parent? Lazy cop out not providing for the family. Working parent? Money hungry and doesn't care about the welfare of the children. And on and on and on...is your head spinning from all the shouting yet? Good lord, it's unreal...and to think, we're all trying to accomplish the same goal...doing what's best to raise happy, productive, functional human beings. It doesn't matter which you choose, just as long as you make an educated, informed decision and that YOU are happy with the decision and are sure it's best for YOUR family. Debating is for politicians, and no one should ever question your choice, even if they vehemently disagree with it.

How in the world are you supposed to determine what will be right for you? Nothing will be as telling as looking into the eyes of your newborn for the first time, but there are a few things you can mull over before your little one arrives, or before your 12 weeks are up.

Ask yourself if you actually WANT to be a stay at home parent.
When folks think of a stay at home mom (or dad), they often picture Peg Bundy, sitting on the couch of her filthy home eating bon bons and watching soap operas, doing whatever she wants when she wants with the caregiving as a side job. It's almost like she's babysitting, but less work. Being a stay at home parent, when done properly, is the toughest job there is. You'll work 18 hour shifts, and you won't get paid...not with money, anyhow. There is no health insurance, no vacation time, no IRA, and no accrual of Social Security credits. Your career? Gone. You will now be at the beck and call of your little one, all day, every day...and you'll also have to take care of the house, prepare meals, do laundry and a thousand other things you could have never imagined and balance it with caregiving. If your partner works long hours to support the household financially, the entire burden of homekeeping and childrearing will fall upon you. If your partner is lucky enough to have decent hours, and is truly your partner, they'll be able to give you a break when they come home so you can maintain your sanity. And you'll need it...the first two years of life, you'll be lucky to get a hot meal and a shower on the same day. The reward for all this work? You get to watch your child grow and thrive, all day, every day. You won't miss their first smile, their first word, their first steps. They will bond with you and become an extension of you, and every miracle will be your own to see. If all the responsibilities don't seem to outweigh the rewards for you, or if the whole thing sounds like a nightmare, staying home may just not be for you. And there's nothing wrong with that!

Can you afford to stay home?
Some families need a dual income to keep a roof over their heads and food on their tables, and staying home simply isn't an option...so their choice is already made. For others things aren't so cut and dry, though. Most families can manage to keep one parent home, but they must be willing to struggle financially to do so. It may mean giving up the new car every year, or even the luxury of having more than one vehicle. Things like digital cable, high speed internet, new clothes and furniture, and many more of life's little pleasures may need to go out the window. You may even be living paycheck to paycheck, just breaking even week after week, year after year. Again, you must decide how YOU feel about your situation. Will your staying home cause undue financial hardship in your family's life? Do you enjoy all those extras so much that you can't imagine giving them up? Is there an essential savings goal you're trying to meet by a certain date that would be affected by your leaving your job? If you answered yes to any of those, being a working parent will be ideal for you. If you're willing to eat lots of peanut butter and ramen noodles, budget accordingly and stick with it, you can pull this off. Many stay at home parents are now working part time FROM the home, too...so be sure to see if that's a possibility, too.

But what about my career?
If you need to ask that question, take a LOT of time to make your choice. Having a family means much of YOU will be lost in the shuffle. Though this isn't the case for everyone...many parents manage to find time for themselves and want to continue to live the same life they had before adding a child to the mix. Others prefer to make a new life at this point. It all depends on how you feel, and whether or not you think you'll regret the choice later on down the line. Do you think you'll be sorry you stuck with your career and feel as if you missed out on your child's baby years? Or, is it important to you to instill such a work ethic in your child? Not that staying home isn't work, as mentioned above. It's just a different kind of work. And if you can't imagine leaving your little one in someone else's hands to work any job, staying home will BECOME your career.

It's a shame the topic even comes up in modern society...we should all feel free to make our choice and do what we think is best for our child. If a parent doesn't wish to stay home, then it's obviously better for the child that they don't do so...will the parent who gives up everything when they don't desire to do so do a poor job? Maybe so, or maybe not...but they sure may think about the 'what if' every day. And if a parent works because they feel society expects them to, will they regret not staying home and following their dream? Sure they will. Every parent is different, and we need to remember that. As to your choice, it's a matter of personal preference, and you do what you feel in your heart. Isn't that always the best choice for any child?

By Brandi M. Seals

Most women grow up dreaming of their futures. They think they will fall in love with a good man and have lots of children. Sometimes that dream is harder to obtain than we thought. As one of many who has Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) I know that when I go to conceive, I will probably have trouble.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome has many symptoms and consequences - infertility is the one of most concern to those trying to conceive. Reading any sort of information online about PCOS usually gets me down. It is all about how it is hard to conceive, to keep the pregnancy or even produce enough milk once the child is born. There is also a nice long list of what PCOS can do to us.

PCOS is caused when there are disturbances in the body's hormones, generally resulting in too much testosterone. Its affects are far reaching, but it particularly affects the ovaries, leading to ovulation problems. PCOS is known by many names, such as Hyperandrogenic Annovulation Syndrome, Stein-Leventhal Syndrome, Polycystic Ovary Disease (PCOD) and Polycystic Ovaries (PCO).

Symptoms of PCOS include:
Absent or irregular menstrual periods

Infertility - the inability to conceive after twelve or more months of trying

Hirsutism - heavy hair growth, typically on the face, chest, abdomen or inner thighs

Obesity - excess fat typically accumulating in the abdominal area

Acne

Alopecia - hair loss or baldness

Skin Tags - small growths of skin that are raised or hang

Acanthosis Nigricans - darkened patches of the skin generally on the neck, groin, underarms or in skin folds

Getting Diagnosed
Your OB/GYN should be able to diagnose you with PCOS. Discuss your symptoms with your doctor. He or she will use one of the following test to determine if you have the condition:

Ultrasound - An ultrasound of the ovaries may reveal several small cysts (caused when eggs do not mature fully and are not released).

Blood Tests - A blood test will reveal hormone levels. Those with PCOS have higher androgen (male hormone) levels.

Cause of PCOS
The cause is not yet known but insulin resistance is a major contributor. In fact, when the insulin resistance is treated, many of the PCOS symptoms clear up. There is a genetic predisposition to get PCOS if close blood relatives also have it.

Conceiving with PCOS
Talk with your doctor before you start trying. Many women are put on birth control to treat the symptoms of PCOS. You should not go cold turkey. Your doctor can prescribe progesterone or a diabetes medicine (to treat insulin resistance) to help treat the symptoms while you try to conceive.

The most important thing to do is find out when you are ovulating. There are a number of ways you can do this. Some people have very irregular periods and so it is harder to know when they are ovulating, others like me are completely regular with the use of medicine.

The most cost-effective approach is to get a basal thermometer. It is more sensitive than a typical thermometer and can detect minor shifts in temperature. You will want to start by taking your temperature each morning at the same time. Chart your findings. When your temperature is up about .5 degrees, you are ovulating. When you are not ovulating, there probably will be no noticeable change.

Be aware that over the counter ovulation predictors may not work the best for those with PCOS. Women with PCOS tend to have higher levels of luteinizing hormone, which is the hormone that these tests measure. The test may come up positive when really you are not ovulating. Plus, it can be expensive if you have long cycles.

Exercise and eating right also help a lot. Dropping just 10 pounds can help your cycle become more regular, which will increase the odds of conceiving.

Try joining a support group. There are several women with PCOS out there trying to conceive. You can find several online support groups that will answer any questions, especially about the fertility treatments available. Sometimes it is hard to talk to others that do not understand what you are going through. These women are in the same boat as you. They will understand and can help if you let them.

As if being a parent wasn't joyful enough (well, most days), here come the holidays. It's this time of year that makes being a parent feel like a miracle...your little one, eyes all aglow, cookies, Santa...ahhhhh. It may be part of the reason you started a family, after all. If this will be your first holiday season with a mobile baby (creeping or crawling) or toddler, there may be a few things you haven't taken the time to consider when getting ready to decorate your home. We all have items we use year after year, including lights, ornaments, candles and the like...and each and every one can pose a danger to your young child. Here are some tips and ideas to keep your holiday festive while maintaining a safe living area for your little one.

LIGHTS
I'll speak from personal experience here, folks. When my daughter was one, she didn't give the lights on the tree a second thought. She liked looking at them, but I guess it never occurred to her to touch them. Last year, we purchased a fabulous Martha Stewart pre-lit tree from KMart. How wonderful, I thought...my daughter, now two, won't have to listen to me cuss while I try to get the lights on perfectly. And I'll save time! Great! Well, I DID save time...and the tree looked so pretty. Two days after putting it up, we left the living room for a grand total of 2 minutes to get our dinner plates ready...and when we came back, she had 25 bulbs pulled out of their sockets and, to my horror, five or so were broken. Needless to say, I freaked out completely...I really had never thought that she would be clever enough to get them loose...heck, I barely can! She had them sorted into piles by color, too. The monkey! We moved the tree (now lightless since if one goes they all go) into our hallway and wondered what the heck we were going to do. We couldn't have a Christmas tree that didn't have any type of lights at all...doing so seemed pointless to us. Suddenly, we thought of fiber optic trees...and lo and behold, WalMart had one for less than forty dollars! They're lit from beneath with a well-secured contained bulb and the 'fibers' throughout the tree glow in a variety of colors and speeds. The 'fibers' are made of plastic that is integrated with the tree limbs, and try as she might our daughter couldn't pull a single one off. Yes, it was an unusual thing to see...not traditional, and not a fresh pine that will scent your home beautifully, but it kept her safe for the season and stopped us from tearing out hair out. Like the Mastercard commercials say: PRICELESS!

Ornaments
Most families pass down and collect all sorts of ornaments. We carefully upack them to hang on the tree, and the process evokes strong feelings of nostalgia. They help us to maintain our connections to family members that are far away or have passed on, and provide us with tangible memories of Christmases gone by. When you have a child of your own, you can't wait to share this feeling...and the stories that go with each and every precious item. Some of us enjoy a Christmas so steeped in tradition that if the ornament is in a different spot on the tree we must relocate it so things remain the same. If you're lucky, you'll think of this before you start unpacking: what will your infant or toddler do to your very fragile memorabilia? Easily answered...they'll yank it off the tree, chew on it, throw it, give it to the dog, or drop it on the kitchen floor and it will shatter into a million pieces. So what's a parent to do?

First things first...glass ornaments are OUT if you have an infant or toddler that can access them on the tree. And that includes putting them up high and 'out of reach'! They break so easily, and if your little one happens to be chewing on the item when it shatters the results can be deadly if material is ingested. Cuts are a concern, as are eye injuries and choking on small parts. Yes, your Christmas may not seem the same if you don't use your 'regular' decorations on the tree...but many viable alternatives are readily available.

'Shatterproof' ornaments that are made of plastic but look just like glass can be found in most big box stores and are very inexpensive...no one will know but you, honestly. Also look for resin or vinyl ornaments that don't have any small parts...they're just perfect and come in many adorable styles. When hanging your ornaments, opt for ribbon or string instead of metal hangers...the metal is very dangerous and can lead to a variety of injuries. Another great idea for toddlers (infants may put paper in their mouths, so it's not advisable for them) are paper chains and snowflakes...and so cheap to make! Yes, your tree may not be what you wanted this year...but your child will feel involved if he can handle the ornaments on it safely. Our three year old decorated the entire tree on her own...it looks adorable, and she loved the entire process. We even let her put her small stuffed animals on it during the day.
Candles
Nothing is quite as lovely as candles at Christmas...but if you have a little one wandering around, they should never be used. After the kids are in bed, fine...but lit candles and small children are NEVER a good combination. Burns, fires...it's just not worth the risk. You'll have plenty of time to use them together in a few years, so compromise now and either leave them out of reach unlit or keep them in storage. Try a few fiber optic solutions if you feel the lighting is necessary, but don't substitute electric items with bulbs that can be removed.

When you have children, your life changes in ways you could have never imagined...and the holidays are but one example. Though you may enjoy tradition and Christmas may not feel the same to you if you don't decorate like you used to, keep in mind that the holiday is designed for all of us to enjoy but its main focus is children. And it's your job as a parent to keep the children as safe as possible, isn't it? Plus, if your decorations are child friendly, you won't have to spend any time yelling and drooling like a mad person trying to keep the kids away from them. Less stress will make your holiday much more pleasant...trust me. I learned the hard way!

A variety of problems can arise in the infant's life from improper nutrition or nutrition methods. Parents and caregivers should be careful while feeding their little ones. They should know all the basic rules of feeding their infants to avoid health problems as described below.

Feeding Problems in Infants

Following is a list of common possible feeding problems thwarting the infant's health.
Deficiency of iron in the dietDrinking raw milk from cows or goats which can cause viral or bacterial diseasesContinuing to drink from a bottle even after the child turns a yearling Getting supplements for vitamins and minerals beyond 150 % of the infant's US RDA (Recommended Dietary Allowances)

Some common infant diseases that often cause trouble for infants are colic, diarrhea, milk allergy, and iron-deficiency anemia.

Colic

Colic is characterized most commonly by an infant's lengthy, unexplained spells of crying. These crying episodes are not relieved by typical homecare strategies like feeding, holding, and diaper changes. Colic is very common in infants; one out of every five infants suffers from colic. The most difficult times for the infants and parents are late afternoon and early evening when the infant cries continuously. Nighttime sleeping is frequently disturbed by crying spells of the baby. Colic usually disappears by itself after a few months. Colic is believed to be caused by a couple of reasons: (1) Allergy-causing proteins in formula or human milk (2) Excess of gas accumulation in the gastrointestinal tract of the child due to poor movement of nutrients down the gut. During a colic episode the infant responds by tucking itself into a ball. This is most probably caused by accumulation of gas that causes pain in the gut. While the crying in colic is not usually related to feeding, positioning a baby upright during feeding is helpful in relieving pain. It helps the baby to expel the trapped air easily by burping. The infant should also not be fed for longer than 30 minutes. In some severe cases, the baby's milk is changed from cow's milk protein-based formula to a predigested protein-formula. Studies also reveal that if breastfeeding mothers avoid taking dairy products, the infant has a low chance of suffering from colic. If changes in feeding strategies or products do not help alleviate the colic pain, the physician may prescribe medications.

Diarrhea

The causes of diarrhea in infants are varied. In the United States alone about 500 infants die each year due to dehydration from diarrhea. To prevent dehydration, the simplest thing to do is giving the infant plenty of fluids, mostly clean and boiled water (cooled to the room temperature). Milk or heavy fruit juices should be removed from the infant's diet. Fluids like Pedialyte are made especially for infants. These contain glucose, sodium, potassium, chloride, and water. Once the diarrhea shows decline, you can switch a bottle-fed infant to a soy-based formula free of lactose for a few weeks. The breast-fed infant should continue being fed throughout from the breast.

Milk Allergy

Milk has more than 35 proteins that can lead to allergies in infants. Heating the milk makes some of these inactive. Still, some proteins remain potent enough to cause infant allergy. While milk allergy is not very common, it is advisable to switch infants to soy-based formulas for treating the crying and spitting up seen in infants fed on milk. In case of a true milk allergy, even the soy formula will not be effective for long. In such cases, a special formula with predigested protein is required.

Iron Deficiency Anemia

Iron Deficiency Anemia mostly affects infants whose diet mainly consists of cow's milk (which is poor in iron) without sufficient solid food. The daily demand for new red blood cells in the infant's body quickly consumes the iron present in the body. This results in iron deficiency. To prevent this condition you should start feeding iron-rich cereals and meats to an infant that turns six months old. Also, limit the formula to 16-25 ounces (500 to 70 mm) daily. Further, the infant should not be fed cow's milk for the first year, not at all before three months of age. Cow's milk tends to cause intestinal bleeding in the infant. In case the infant gets anemia, the physician may advise medicinal iron supplements.

By the time your baby is born, chances are good that you and your partner will have discussed the issue of childcare responsibilities in depth. Even if one of you will be staying home with the baby, you will want a clear delineation about whose responsibility it will be to take care of what tasks. Many couples alternate feedings or have specific times to take care of baby. You may want to try something with more flexibility or add household chores to the mix. Perhaps one of you will be responsible for cooking dinner each evening and the other will clean up after dinner.

Still once your baby actually arrives, you may find that the parameters you set up are not working out for you. For starters, many women who plan to go back to work after baby is born decide in those first few weeks or months that it is not what they want to do after all. These women determine that they are more interested in being at home with their new babies. Making this kind of major decision means sitting down to renegotiate the baby duties.

In other cases, something may not work as planned. Perhaps Mom was going to breastfeed on demand, meaning she would take care of that responsibility without Dad, but that schedule may not work. Instead Mom wants to go to a feeding schedule, which opens the possibility of Dad taking on some of the feeding duties. In our case, we slowly moved from a system in which my husband got up during certain hours, and I had other hours of nighttime duty. Over time, my husband got up less and less, and I was stuck with all of the nighttime waking or feeding.

These kinds of baby care issues can build resentment if you are not careful. You should plan to discuss the issue with your partner when neither of you is angry or upset and you are not in the throes of dealing with the issue. In our case, for example, during the middle of the night when I was getting up for the umpteenth time, it was not the best moment to bring up the nighttime routine.

Set aside a time when you will be relatively free of distractions and when neither of you will be defensive or distracting. Tell your partner calmly why you think it is not working the way you currently are handling the situation.

Try to focus on your feelings. Remember that you are not keeping score, so there is no need to say that you have handled 17 dirty diapers in the last three days and he has handled only 2. Instead you should focus on that you feel you are doing more than your share of the work and that you need some downtime.

Acknowledge what your partner is doing right. Perhaps she leaves a mess in the nursery every time she changes the baby, but she always remembers to pack the diaper bag for you when you will need it. You should not try to make your partner feel as if he or she is not doing anything right. Instead you should focus on how he or she may be able to change a few things to make life easier with baby.

Try to come up with a schedule or new plan that will work for both of you. Perhaps your partner has some gripes as well. Address them at this time so that the two of you feel you are making progress. Also be willing to make some changes to help your partner out. He may feel, for example, that he needs 15 minutes to be alone with his thoughts after getting home from work. Learn to honor that request so that both of you get the downtime you need.

Remember that raising a baby is a tough job, and you will need to transition often in the first couple of years. Your baby will not keep the same schedule for long during this time, which means that you will need to reassess childcare arrangements frequently. Making sure that you do so with your partner, yourself, and your baby in mind will help you to make this time better for everyone.

By Brandi M. Seals

There has been a lot of fuss lately over kids and what they eat. Heck there has been a lot of fuss over what Americans in general eat. We as a nation are continuing to grow fatter and unhealthier everyday. Some parents try to limit their child's diet to vegetables, whole grains, and other good for you foods. Others take a more relaxed approach and will allow in the occasional cupcake or cookie. And there are those who let the kids eat whatever they want.

I personally do not think we can teach the kids to eat healthier until we actually start eating healthier. Sometimes it takes a shock to realize just how bad some foods are for you. I suggest that each parent keep a food journal of what their children eat. Do it for a week and some of you will be shocked by the patterns that emerge or the foods the kids eat when parents are not around. You will need your child's help. He or she will need to write down any food consumed outside the home or away from parental supervision. Make sure they also note how much they eat.

When the week is done, go through and look up nutritional information on the foods consumed. Pay close attention to how much sugar, fat, and calories they are eating each day. You may be alarmed by what you find.

If you do not like what you see, then it is time to step things up. You do not need to put your child on a diet per se, but you could start encouraging better foods, limiting junk food, and helping them understand portion control.

If your child is consuming too much junk food, stop buying so much of it and have healthy alternatives on hand. Instead of handing out cookies and ice cream, try giving out granola or pita chips. Stock up on fresh fruits, vegetables and healthy snacks. Sneak in healthy food by swapping white bread for multi-grain bread. Pass on the traditional fried potato chips and stock up on baked chips or tortilla chips. You can find healthy alternatives for many snack items.

Never cut out unhealthy snack food without having something to replace it. Snacks are important. They help power people through to meals and keep blood sugar from dipping during the day.

One of the reasons I suggest you look at how much sugar your child is consuming is because it can make them hyper and some foods you would not suspect, are actually very high in sugar. Pop is an obvious high sugar item, but did you know ketchup has an alarming amount in it? A common packet of ketchup from any given restaurant has about 2 grams of sugar in it! Shocking I know.

Next time you decide to take your kids out for a breakfast out at a fast food restaurant, you may want to think again. Everyone says the food is loaded with fat, but do you really have any idea how bad some of this food can be?

I compared the nutritional information for a basic sausage biscuit, medium hash brown with ketchup, and a small orange juice from two common fast food restaurants - Hardee's and McDonald's. The results below are shocking.

McDonald's
Sausage Biscuit
410 Calories
26 Grams of Fat
2 Grams of Sugar

Hash Browns
140 Calories
8 Grams of Fat
0 Grams of Sugar

Ketchup (1 packet)
10 Calories
0 Grams of Fat
2 Grams of Sugar

12 oz Orange Juice
140 Calories
0 Grams of Fat
29 Grams of Sugar

Total McDonald's Breakfast
700 Calories
34 Grams of Fat
33 Grams of Sugar

Hardee's
Sausage Biscuit
530 Calories
38 Grams of Fat
4 Grams of Sugar

Medium Hash Rounds
350 Calories
22 Grams of Fat
1 Gram of Sugar

Ketchup (1 packet)
9 Calories
0 Grams of Fat
2 Grams of Sugar

10 oz of Orange Juice
150 Calories
0 Grams of Fat
35 Grams of Sugar

Total Hardee's Breakfast
1039 Calories
60 Grams of Fat
42 Grams of Sugar

Before you head out to your favorite fast food restaurant, take a look at their nutritional information. I used the Fast Food Nutrition Fact Explorer (http://www.fatcalories.com/) to find the information above.

By Brandi M. Seals

Every time I go to a baby shower I notice the same gifts every time. It makes sense. There are only so many things that a child needs. But, if you want the person having the baby to actually keep the gift, it is a good idea to avoid those items that are often received in multiples.

Think back to the last shower you went to. Was there a gift registry created for you to shop from? Only a few years ago it was uncommon for someone to have a baby registry, now it seems like every store offers one. They are a great way to start. Find out where the expectant mother is registered then head to the store and see what they want. That way if you have trouble coming up with ideas, you will have somewhere to turn.

I know some people do not like shopping from registries because it does not feel as special or you are not able to pick out things that you think the baby would like. If you want to give something common like a baby monitor, bottles, or receiving blanket, you really should check the registry. That way you know what kind the parents want, but more importantly you know if the items have already been purchased. If you want to do something special like buy a baby book or toy for the child, there is no real need to check the registry.

If the person you are shopping for has not made a registry and has no plans to do so, there are a few things you can do so that the blanket you spent an hour picking out does not end up in the return pile with 15 other blankets. The single most important thing you can do is avoid common gifts.

Top Common Gifts

Receiving Blankets
It is true the child will need blankets, but does he or she need 30 of them? I know many people find it hard to resist soft, cuddly blankets when they are gift shopping, but yours may not make the cut when the mom-to-be starts to go through all the gifts to see what they really do not need. If at all possible, avoid giving a baby blanket to a mom without a registry. Try to find something cute instead. Buy crib sheets or towels. One great gift that often gets overlooked is the hooded towel. Trust me; a wriggling infant will look adorable drying off after their bath with a doggy hooded towel. It makes for a great alternative.

Baby Bottles
Baby bottle are great in moderation, but like blankets they seem to crop up in exaggerated numbers. After my sister's baby shower, she had 32 bottles to choose from. That was way more than she needed. She took some back and got a fingernail clipping kit for the baby and some other basics.

Pacifiers
Not all moms use pacifiers. Some think they are horrible things used by inattentive mothers. Others swear by them, saying they help the baby develop its sucking reflex. Unless you know which way the mom-to-be feels, it may be better to come up with something else.

Onesies
Onesies are great. They are a basic that will be used on a daily basis. It seems like the more you have the better off you would be. That is true to a point, but what happens when all those onesies are the same size and the baby outgrows them quickly? Everyone loves to buy something the baby can use right away. They grab a pack of onesies sized 0-3 months. However, the mother and baby would be better off if they had a consistent supply of onesies throughout infancy. Instead of grabbing the 0-3 month size (which many babies only wear for a month or two) opt for the larger sizes. Grab some 3-6 months or 6-9 months. Trust me, mom will need them and she will keep them for when the time is right.

Bibs
Bibs are cute. They come with different sayings and made from different textures. Some moms like plastic and practical bibs that are easy to clean, others like the cutesie ones. What they do not need, is 15 different bibs. One for each day of the week would probably be fine. If you must get a bib, try to get something distinctive that will appeal to the mom or dad. For example, buy a bib that reads 'Daddy's little girl' or one that says 'What are you looking at?'

By Misti Sandefur

Christmas only comes once a year, so why not turn it into a memorable event your whole family will cherish. There are a number of things you can do with your family to make this year's Christmas celebration a memorable one!

First, put up the Christmas tree. Grab the tree from storage and assemble it together as a family. Alternatively, if you prefer a real tree, load the family in the car and begin your search for the most beautiful tree you can find.

Once you have your tree set up, and you've placed the lights and rope on the tree, pull out the box of ornaments and let the kids start hanging them on the tree. As you go through the ornaments, tell a story about each one. For example, if you have a homemade ornament tell which child made it, when they made it and how old they were. You'll all enjoy the memories from the stories that each ornament may hold. While trimming your tree, pop a Christmas CD into the stereo and sing along. This will keep everyone in the Christmas spirit!

After the tree has been decorated, mix up a batch of Christmas cookies together. Then, when the cookies are done and ready to eat, enjoy them around the Christmas tree. You can even sit down around the tree and share Christmas stories with one another; this makes for great Christmas fun!

Load into the family car and take a trip to the movie store. Once there, make it known that the only movies everyone can pick out is Christmas movies. Christmas movies at home with the family will keep you in good sprits, and you'll hardly be able to wait for Christmas to arrive. Don't forget to pop-up some popcorn to enjoy during movie time! Furthermore, a delicious cup of hot coco will go well with movie time too!

Christmas fun isn't complete without Christmas crafts! So, enjoy more time with your family by decorating your home. Start your Christmas fun arts and crafts time by making paper chains and hanging them around the house, or wrapping them around the Christmas tree. A paper chain is a decoration that even the smallest children can make. To begin, gather up red and green construction paper. Next, cut the paper into strips. (Adults, you can cut the paper into strips so the children don't cut themselves.) As you're cutting the paper have the children make one strip into the shape of a circle, then using a glue stick, have them glue the two ends together to hold the circular shape. Using another strip of paper (this time use the other color) make another circle, only this time overlap the second circle with the first. Repeat the process -- alternating between colors -- until the chain is the length you want it to be. You can make as many paper chains as you like so you can decorate many areas of your home and your tree too.

You could also use an old holiday tradition by stringing popcorn to use as garland. Using a tapestry needle, string the popcorn onto thin string (dental floss, strong thread, or etc.). Not only will you and the kids enjoy stringing popcorn, but you'll also have a ball as you eat the popcorn along the way. Just be sure to pop enough popcorn to string and enough to eat.

What decoration does everyone need at Christmas time? You guessed it, a Christmas wreath. This year you can make your wreath special by making your own from a wire coat hanger. First, shape the hanger into a circle (leave the hook untouched, you will need it later for hanging the wreath). Second, gather approximately 200 sandwich bags (not the ziplock kind), and then using scissors, cut down the sides of the bags. Or, for the younger kids, if they're real careful they can tear, along the seams, down the sides of the bag. Third, tie the sandwich bags around the circle until it's full -- pushing the bags together as you go along. Once the circle is full, glue a big red bow at the top (centered). If desired, you can also glue small embellishments onto the wreath. Once finished, hang it, and you'll have a decoration that will last for years.

Finally, you'll need some ornaments for the Christmas tree. Start with lids from canning jars. Wrap red, green, or any color yarn you desire around the entire lid. Cut a small piece of yarn and tie it around the top of the lid for hanging on the tree. For the finishing touch, decorate your wreath ornaments by gluing small embellishments onto the wreath.

Christmas fun doesn't just have to take place indoors... it can also take place outdoors. An activity my family and I make an annual tradition is driving around town looking at Christmas lights. Adults and kids will love it!

During the daytime hours, gather all your outdoor directions and extra Christmas lights. Then brainstorm outdoor decorating ideas together and put your plans into action! By decorating the outside of your home, you'll provide other families with Christmas lights to enjoy, and the entire activity will be Christmas fun for your family.

The entire family can enjoy all of the Christmas fun activities above, and what makes them even better is kids of any age group can participate. So gather your entire family, tell them it's time for some Christmas fun, and have a "holly jolly" goodtime!

By Brandi M. Seals

Think back to when you were little. Was there a certain treat that you absolutely loved? I had several of them and I have provided the recipes for you. Perhaps your or your kids will love them just as much as I do.

Caramel Corn

Ingredients
3.5 quarts plain popped popcorn
1 cups brown sugar
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup margarine
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
Place the popcorn into two shallow greased baking pans. Set aside.

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees Fahrenheit.

Combine the brown sugar, corn syrup, margarine and salt in a saucepan. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally until it is well blended. Time the mixture once it begins to boil. Allow it to boil for 5 minutes while stirring constantly.

Remove the mixture from the heat, and stir in the baking soda and vanilla. Do not be surprised if the mixture looks light and foamy. That is normal. Pour the mixture over the popcorn in the pans, and stir it until the popcorn is well coated.

Now bake the coated popcorn for an hour in the preheated oven. Be sure to stir the popcorn every 15 minutes while it bakes.

Put down waxed paper on the counter top. When the popcorn is done baking, dump it out onto the paper and loosely separate the pieces. Let the popcorn cool completely before eating or storing.

German Chocolate Fudge

Ingredients
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
12 -1 ounce squares German sweet chocolate
7 ounces of marshmallow cream
4 1/2 cups sugar
2 tablespoons butter
12 ounces of evaporated milk
1/8 teaspoon salt

Directions
Combine chocolate chips, German sweet chocolate and marshmallow cream in large bowl. Set aside.

Combine sugar, butter, evaporated milk and salt in a heavy skillet. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat. Cook for 6 minutes after boil is achieve, making sure to stir constantly.

Pour the hot mixture over the chocolate mixture. Stir the mixtures together until it is smooth.

Spread the combined mixture in a buttered 10x15 inch pan. Let the fudge stand until firm and then cut into squares.

Peppermint Fudge

Ingredients
2 cups milk chocolate chips
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
14 ounces of sweetened condensed milk
Dash salt
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
3/4 cup crushed hard peppermint candy

Directions
Melt chocolate chips in a saucepan over low heat with the sweetened condensed milk and salt. After the mixture has been thoroughly heated and smooth, remove it from the heat. Stir in the peppermint extract.

Pour the fudge in a lined 8 inch square pan. Sprinkle the fudge with smashed peppermint candies.

Chill the fudge for at least 2 hours or until it is firm. Remove it from the pan and cute into squares.

Spiced Nuts

Ingredients
1 egg white3 cups almonds, pecans, or walnuts1/3 cup sugar2 teaspoons cinnamon1/2 teaspoon allspice1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions
Preheat oven to 250 degrees Fahrenheit.

Beat the egg white until it is foamy. Stir it into the selected nut, making sure the nuts are well coated.

Combine sugar, cinnamon, allspice, seasoned salt and nutmeg in a separate bowl.

Toss with nuts with the seasoned mixture in a plastic bag until they are well coated.

Spread the nuts on a greased baking sheet, making sure they are in a single layer. Bake them in the preheated oven for 1 hour.

Molasses Cookies

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups butter
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup molasses
2 eggs
4 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon salt

Directions
Melt the butter and add in the sugar, eggs, and molasses. Beat the mixture until it is well combined. Combine the baking powder, flour, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and salt together in a separate bowl and then add it to the butter mixture. Combine the two mixtures and chill the dough for at least 3 hours. Overnight is better.

Roll the dough into golf ball sized balls. Roll the balls in the granulated sugar and place them on a greased cookie sheet at least 2 inches apart.

Bake the cookies at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 8-10 minutes.

By Christina VanGinkel

Sometime in the magnitude of raising baby, the issue of childcare can be an issue. If you have a significant other, whether it is a spouse, an involved grandparent, etc., you may find that you both have differing views on the subject.

You may want to stay home and raise your baby, believing that since you gave birth to him or her, that no one is better able to care for them than you are. You might also be on the other side of the issue, and feel that daycare is not only viable; it is an excellent choice for your infant or toddler. You might even fall somewhere in between the two and still be at odds with the other person who has just as much say as you do on the subject. This is where communication skills can really be put to use.

If possible, discuss this subject before baby arrives. However, whenever you do take it to the table, be sure that you consider all the possible scenarios so that all parties have a clear understanding of what the other not only wants and expects, but also what they are willing to do to make whatever is decided upon happen. Be very honest. If you have fears, say so. Only if you speak up will the other person be able to understand where you are coming from. When you each have a clear understanding of what the other is thinking, will you be able to make a qualified decision on what childcare options you are both willing to consider.

For example, if you want to stay home with baby, ask yourself if you mean short term, or long term, then tell the other person exactly what you are thinking. This simple clarification can make a huge difference to the other person you might be in disagreement with. When a good friend told her husband that she wanted to stay home with their new baby, she just left it at that. He agreed reluctantly, but then went on to make comments to many of us (third party friends and family) that while he wanted the same thing; he was worried about their future living standards, once her income was removed from their goals they had put together a few years before baby. When this came back to her, also third party, she was stunned. She assumed he knew that she meant for a few extra months, beyond their initial three months that they had planned for. Once out in the open, and they discussed it more clearly, it became a non-issue all together. She ended up staying home until their baby was about nine months old and weaned from the breast. Had she meant long-term, that would have been OK, but it still would have been something they needed to discuss, not leaving the period in question hanging between them, with no clear boundaries.

When baby is ready to go to day care, even more disagreements can arise. Be to the point on such things as who is going to choose a daycare provider (one or the other, or both together), who will bring baby, and pick him or her up, and who will pay. By paying, this might be as simple as who is going to make sure the check is mailed or dropped off, or who is going to be paying from whose pocket. It is often these issues, which bring about disagreements just as much as whether or not one or the other adults want the child in daycare.

Even after you have made a decision, such as whether to stay home with your child or place them in daycare, disagreements might still come up. Treat them all as if they were as important as the initial decision. Maybe you have chosen to stay home, but after your baby becomes one, or two years old, you think you might want to go back into the workforce, or take a few college classes. Just stewing on the idea of change will get you nowhere. Talk it out with the other adult in your life. Only by keeping communication as open as you can, will you be able to overcome any disagreements that might arise about the issue of daycare for your child.

The holiday season is fast approaching and with the holidays come a variety of items that are not found in the house during the rest of the year. These items might catch the attention of both your pet and your child, so take extra precautions.

One of these items that are something new to be experienced is the Christmas tree and since it is something new, different and no doubt very interesting when seen through the eyes of your baby and pets. We got a cat during the summer time, and you can be sure that once the Christmas tree is up, the cat will be checking it out because of the new and different smells that are involved with it! There are some things that are needed to be done to protect these precious creatures from the possible harm that Christmas trees and other plants of the season can cause. One thing that we did with our Christmas tree when our girls were little and plan to do this year with kitty is to festoon the Christmas tree with bells towards the bottom. This way, if we are out of the room and the child or pet pulls at the tree or begin to play with it, the bells will ring warning us that we need to check out what is going on. Another idea is to keep the tree in a separate room altogether that has doors on it. This will definitely ensure that the child will not get injured by the Christmas tree falling on them and injuring them or having ornaments break and hurt little fingers or toes or paws.

Fresh Christmas trees are a special addition to Christmas, but like all plants, they need to be watered constantly. Cover the base of your tree with a large skirt in order to keep your children and pets away from the water bowl as the water may contain harmful chemicals. If your child or pet is likely to pull of ornaments, you might want to consider what you put on your tree. (Sweets are a no no, because the smell will tempt both pet and child!) And because small ornaments can get lodged in the throats of both pets and babies, you might want to stay away from small, sharp, glass ornaments. (Also be cautious of the ornament hangers themselves as well!)

In regards to Christmas lights, somewhere, more likely than not is the electrical cord that comes with them. Some babies and pets may be tempted to chew on these cords, so make sure they are well hidden and not accessible. Another thing you might want to consider is not putting any gifts under the tree until the time you are prepared to open them. For small kids, you can put some stuffed animals under there or we have a child friendly (it is big for little hands) nativity set that my daughters constantly played with when they were young.

Another plant besides the Christmas trees that you need to consider in regards to your baby and your pet is the Poinsettia plant. This bright, cheerful plant is a welcome addition to any house hold and just says CHRISTMAS by looking at it, but it can be harmful if large quantities are digested, as this could prove cramping and diarrhea. However, if you do find your pet munching on poinsettias, it might prove quite harmful for them, more so than a child.

Another plant that brings in the holiday cheer is mistletoe. Everyone wants to sneak a kiss under the mistletoe! This particular plant, even more so than the poinsettia, is a danger to anyone if digested. Besides some nasty cramps and diarrhea, this plant could even prove to be fatal. So if you are planning to hang the real stuff, make sure it is hung securely and high up so that little hands cannot get a hold of it

Every parent should have the telephone number of their local Poison Control Centre and the local hospital somewhere close to the phone where it can be grabbed quick in case of an emergency and if you do have real plants and a real (or even a fake one for that matter) Christmas tree, use extra caution with the plants and how you decorate your tree and your holidays this year will be happy and memorable ones!

Your children's earliest Christmases can be made even more special with the addition of handmade gifts. Anyone can go out and buy toys, learning games, and clothes, but how much more fun it is to give a gift that was self-created. Don't be discouraged by thinking you couldn't possibly make anything your child would enjoy; there are lots of ideas that are both innovative and exciting. It all depends on your personal expertise and the talents of other members of the family.

Perhaps your child will need new clothes as the Christmas season approaches. You might want to consider buying patterns and sewing up some of your own creations. Personally, my mother is always tickled to show me the photos in which I am wearing an outfit she made. If you are sewing for babies, keep in mind that they will grow very quickly, so you may want to make the outfit a little bigger for the coming year. Toddler outfits can be more elaborate; play-clothes, dresses, suits, holiday attire, smocks, stockings, and hats are just some suggestions. The older the child, the more choices there will be for clothing.

Consider taking up knitting or crocheting. Knitted socks are some of the warmest things in the world and should keep either a baby or a toddler's feet cozy all year round. Knitting doesn't have to be a boring sport; choose bright, vibrant yarn and go wild. Just make sure to allow for the child's rapidly-growing feet. If you like traditional sewing better, a baby quilt is a terrific idea. You can either buy material you like or have it be special squares (ie squares from outgrown outfits that have special significance for you and other family members). Make sure the stitches can't be easily ripped out by busy fingers. You can crochet a quilt as well.

If you have a toddler, his or her personality can play a part in determining what gifts you make. If your little one is constantly dragging toys around and doesn't seem to have enough room to store them, a homemade toybox is a great idea. All you will need are some tools, plans, paint, and wood. Find a book or pamphlet telling you how to put the basic box together; after that, it's your decision how to decorate. Does he or she like ducks? Dolls? Disney characters? This is where paint comes in handy. It doesn't have to be the best artwork; your child will appreciate it either way. When I was little, my father took great pride in building me a toybox and painting Disney figures that scampered across the front.

If your toddler is old enough to enjoy something along the lines of a simple dollhouse, there is a bit more work involved. Materials can get expensive, but you can choose how elaborate you make it. The house can be tiny or huge, have whatever number of rooms you want, and be decorated in any way you choose. I used to love making Victorian furniture for the dollhouse my dad created for me when I was a baby. You can go halfway, making the dollhouse but buying the furniture and people, if you wish. Just make sure the wooden pieces are well sanded and finished so your little one doesn't wind up with splinters.

I used to enjoy handmade rag dolls; this is probably an activity that would be better appreciated by a toddler. After stuffing them with a sufficient amount of cotton I sewed old towels together into the shape of a doll's body. I then sewed colored yarn on for hair and painted the eyes, mouth, and nose onto the face. You could also use buttons for the eyes, and anything else you think would work. You can even make outfits for your rag doll. For a baby, a different kind of toy like a small stuffed animal may be more appreciated.

Draw portraits or take special pictures of your baby or toddler, then choose special frames. You can hang them around the nursery for a festive accent. If you're an artist, consider doing a portrait of your child at each new month, or every few months. If you are handy with wood or know someone who is, you can even make the frames and paint or varnish them. Consider special snapshots to frame, like baby's hand, his foot, or a view from a different angle.

By Lacie R. Schaeffer

Everyone knows that breast milk is best for babies. However, experts agree that formula provides a nutritious alternative. At the same time, many breastfeeding mothers subconsciously perceive baby formula to be the powder equivalent of Mad Dog 20/20. I was breastfeeding my first baby, but I supplemented with formula occasionally. Although I knew that I was fed on formula as a baby and that it was even healthier today, I felt like every drop of formula I gave him was a small failure. It's not my fault that I couldn't think clearly; it was the hormones. Breastfeeding is beautiful, natural, and endlessly rewarding - when you get the hang of it. Until that time, I believe that our bodies supply us with magical and curious hormones that give that extra nuttiness we need to get through the tough times.

Two words: bloody nipples. Why else would perfectly sane women continue to breastfeed with sore and/or bloody nipples? We continue to breastfeed because "it's best for the baby". We will do anything for our adorable babies. I smelled like spoiled milk for an entire year. People didn't tell me I smelled; but they also kept assured cleared distance. I always felt leaky. Breast pads helped the leakiness, but they hindered my style. Sure, they would work great if I had on a big sweater or a sweatshirt. Occasionally I would want to wear a t-shirt or a tank top. You could always see the round outline of my breast pads through my bra. So I would try to skip the breast pad and go nursing-commando. Subsequently I would be having a grand time when I would look down to see two big circles of breast milk on my shirt. I never knew how long they had been there. No one tells you that you are leaking because, as I will explain, people think breast milk is disgusting. I would then slink back to the car, replace my breast pads, and go home in shame.

I loved to see the faces of people when I was breastfeeding in public. As I became more proficient, many people would make eye contact with me and start to smile before they realized the horror that was taking place right in front of them. They're eyes would slowly pan up from my babies' legs to the back of his head. They would suddenly gasp, look away, and walk faster (to safety). Once, I was entertaining a kid-less friend and stopped to rearrange my refrigerator. I placed a bottle of expressed milk on the counter. I doubt she would have looked any less disturbed if I had shown her a urine sample. Why is breast milk so disgusting? Milk from the refrigerator is also breast milk - from a cow! I'm not saying we should pour breast milk on our Corn Flakes, but let's treat it with some respect people.

I found myself talking nonstop about my breasts. I couldn't wait to mention breastfeeding in conversation. I must have been so annoying. It came to a point where if I wasn't showing my breasts, I was talking about them. I could have written 20 poems titled "Ode to Breastfeeding My Baby". I would discuss when and how often I breastfed. I would discuss the condition of my nipples. Up to that point, I kept these matters private. Looking back, I'm a little embarrassed. I keep telling myself, "it wasn't my fault; it was the hormones."

The first few months of breastfeeding are difficult. You don't know whether or not your baby will latch on. Then you don't know if they've latched on correctly. Unlike formula, you can't tell how much breast milk a baby ingests. In the first few weeks home from the hospital, we are all worried about our babies gaining weight. They drill it into your head at the hospital. You have to make sure the baby has "x" number of wet diapers and "x" number of dirty diapers. My husband is a little neurotic. We had spreadsheets for poop, pee, and what he called "feeds". He would always ask "Did the baby feed?" He made it sound so sinister, like we were hunting down and eating small animals. All I did all day is breastfeed. I watched TV. I knew everything about pop culture. I knew Dr. Phil's wife's name and both his kids' names, and I found myself referring to Oprah's boyfriend in many of my conversations. I was lucky to get a shower every day, and I needed them more than ever. I was always worried that my baby wasn't getting enough milk, or that my supply was drying up. My husband positioned a station in the family room for me to record the feedings. He had a notebook, a calculator, and a scale. I was to weigh the baby before I nursed and after I nursed, convert the weight gain to ounces, and record the approximate intake of fluid. He made sure to tell me that I couldn't change the baby's diaper during the process for fear any urine lost in the diaper change would offset the breast milk consumed. I realized that it wasn't just my hormones that were wacky.

After the first couple months, breastfeeding became easier. The baby and I fell into a rhythm and we were both happy. I can still see his little face looking back at me as he happily suckled away. I vividly remember the warmth of his little body in my arms. These were the most purely happy times of parenthood for me so far. I loved being a nursing mom. It was finally working. I felt like I had a soda fountain strapped to my chest full of breast milk. There were no bottles to clean and no milk to warm. I honestly don't know how working moms continued to breastfeed. It was double the work. You both nursed your baby, and fed him bottles. Now that's dedication.

I always thought that the mothers who were still nursing their 3 and 4 year olds were fanatical. When your baby toddles in your bedroom at night, lifts your shirt, and asks "snack, please?" you know that you've breastfed too long, right? As I approached my baby's twelfth month, I kept telling myself that I would quit soon. It was hard. Sometimes, when I breastfed in the morning, I would get such a rush of affection for the baby that I would feel drunk for a couple minutes. Again, I'm sure hormones were still at play. I started thinking, "I could do this until 24 months, right?" Fortunately or unfortunately for me, I didn't have to make the decision to give up breastfeeding. My baby lost interest at about a year old. It sounds fanatical, but I cried. I knew it would make my life easier, but I also knew I would miss it. I knew it meant that my baby was growing up. This period in my life would be over, the hormones would leave, and I would go back to appropriate conversation and pleasant body odor. It was nice that he could feed himself. It gave me more freedom and my body slowly returned to normal. Even without the hormones, I look back at that time very fondly. I'm glad breast milk is best for babies. It's not too bad for moms either.